Tag Archives: mindset

Be Learning About Shame/Guilt 

Brene Brown is the shame expert in our generation, but I want to add my two sense as shame has been my game for most of my life.  I have been shamed, shamed others and watch people shame.  It’s powerful emotion and one that can be used as a tool to destroy! 

Your spirit.  

Your belief in yourself. 

Your belonging.  

Your being.  

First, let’s talk about the difference between shame and guilt to get this emotional, mindset roller coaster rolling down the track.  


For me, the difference between shame and guilt involves the external versus the internal.  Have you every had anyone ‘put’ something on you, that’s most likely shame.  My most recent example was when someone criticized what I said during a conversation they overheard and then, without me asking for feedback, they told me what I ‘should’ have done.  When I get ‘should’ on, I know it’s shame.   Someone is trying to tell you what to do and wielding the shame sword to get you to do it.    My father recently told me that “I thought mom and I had brought you up better than that.” Yup, I am 43 years old and that is called good ‘old’ shame.  

No should.  

Just could.  

No shame.  

Just guilt.  

No swords. 

Just freedom.  

Guilt for me is a super power that comes from within.  It moves you to deeper places.  It helps you grow.  It’s the feeling inside, “Oh, I could have done that!”  You realize your mistake and seek answers to make it better for next time.  It completely happens within.  It could have been triggered by an external event or conversation but no one ‘put’ anything on you.  It’s 100% coming from you.  This happened recently with something I ate.  I felt guilty afterwards because it wasn’t fueling my body but instead was feeding an emotion.  My guilt allowed me to move into a new place thinking about fuel versus feeling foods.  

Your spirit. 

Your belief in yourself. 

Your belonging.  

Your being.  

Free to live your life.  

Free to make mistakes. 

Free to listen within. 

Everyone living without shame ‘put’on each other.  

Free to get off the shame roller coaster.  

Free to step aboard the guilt train. 

Be Free.  

Be Enough.  

Be Searching for Something 

As I sit watching the sunset, I ponder that ‘something’ I search for.   That ‘something’ that will fill feelings of grief, sadness and overwhelm.  

That space that I try to fill every time I open my phone to check Facebook. 

The hole I avoid when I run away from what I am feeling.  

The darkness I turn from every time I sit in numbness, not wanting to feel, not wanting to go down old trodden paths of pain.

But sometimes life doesn’t give us a chance to avoid.  

It allows us the privilege to sit up, to notice, to see our grief journey clearly and how much pain we have turned into gratitude.  

This search for something that is really nothing outside of us at all. 

We can’t avoid living life and why would we want to. 

The privilege to be with our people, to see into the eyes of their souls and to get to know them on a deeper level. 

Yes, Facebook could do that. 

Walking away could help us reflect. 

And that darkness I talked about, well, that only helps us see the brightness of the light.  

See, I have learned to let go of my sense of judgement as things are neither good nor bad, they just are.  I have also learned to be present with what I am feeling, as these feelings are neither good nor bad, as well, they just are! 


So, as you search for that ‘something’ today may you first look within your soul, your beautiful unique self sitting within you.  Resting in your spirit.  

Being you! 

Then may you look around you at those imperfectly perfect people around you. Building Knex, asking about the birds and the bees, reading books, playing with pillows… are what my people are currently doing. 

Being them! 


Search for that something that is already within you. 

Beautiful.  

Imperfectly perfect. 

Neither good nor bad. 

Just being. 

Full of strength.  

Overflowing with hope.  

Sitting in the presence of His peace.  

Knowing you are loved.  

Searching for nothing. 

Found! 

*written for a special person in our life on this significant ‘something’ kind of day! 

Be Living Reality 

Ask anyone I taught with, I was a reality tv junky. 

Addicted? 

Probably! 

The Bachelor.  

Big Brother.  

American Idol.  

Survivor. 

At the schools I worked at, I used to organize Survivor Pools where we each would ‘be’ a character and we would see who would be the ‘Sole Survivor’! 

Hours upon hours of reality tv, where my week would be organized around the specific day and hour the show would be on. 

Survivor was Thursdays.  

8:00pm. 

5:00pm if you had an eastern channel!

I loved it when my mom moved to town because she had that eastern time zone channel. 

Yup, imagine revolving your whole week around a reality tv show?  I did it!  Yes, I did! 

When my oldest, who is now nine, was four months old, I knew I had a wake-up call from tv land and I realized I had to make a decision.  

I had just started maternity leave and was home full time with JC!  I was moving from an incredible, full 14 hour days as a teacher, to home and my Reality tv land.  Can you see where I was going?

I knew I had to make a choice: watch reality from the couch or live it everywhere I went.   We decided to live it.  We stopped paying for cable television.  We started being intentional about what and when we wanted to watch tv shows on the Internet or via DVD’s.  We saw less commercials.  Our boys have rarely seen a commercial in their lives and often find them annoyingly interrupting to what they are watching.  

(Sidenote: The constant Oil of Olay commercials on the children’s network, Treehouse, also persuaded me to cut cable. Did I want my boys to think that women’s faces looked like that?)

Now, I live in reality every day with my brood of boys.  

I live it everywhere I go.  

Television shows and movies are rare. 

Connecting with others and creating space to be is happening every day. 

I have space to let my mind meander.  

I have nothing ‘pulling’ me away from my vision of what I want my daily reality to look like.  

My living ‘reality’ involves copious amounts of food in somewhat strange combinations, refereeing wrestling matches, going off the beaten path and lots of high energy activities.  That sounds exactly like reality tv, doesn’t it? 

Survivor anyone? Who will be the sole survivor?  Some days it’s me!

Big Brother? Me and my houseful of boys.  


Really real. 

Living life.  

Awake.  

Aware. 

Alive.  

Perfectly imperfect.  

Being me.  

In my reality.  

Hmmmm…. maybe it’s time to get rid of Facebook?  But that’s really real, isn’t it? 😂

Be Hope 

Hopelessness is a paralyzingly dis-ease.  I have felt it in the core of my being, the deep down dusty place that seems hard to reach.  Hopeless that circumstances will change.  Hopeless knowing death brings physical disconnection.  Hopeless knowing that I may no longer be the same.  

But, I stand and lie down today knowing that this did-ease called hopelessness can be overcome.  Our circumstance we absolutely cannot control, even though I thought I could, BUT we can control our conclusions about these circumstances.  

One wintery day, only two months after my mom died, I make a conclusion that only great goodness would come from the gift of grief I received from her death. I decided that I would live in a negativity fast and a positivity feast, as Steve and Wendy Backlund describe it.    Guess what happened?  The last three years have been a walk in greatness.  I have found my passion that melds my teaching brain, coaching mindset and mother’s heart.  I have found my meaning and my passion for how I can be a permission for hope no matter your circumstances.   Through great nutrition, an ever growing mindset and being able to learn new truths about myself every day through the circumstances around me, I have found hope and freedom!  

Hope replacing dis-ease.  

Hope in any circumstances.  

Hope overflowing.  

Hope pouring. 

Over me. 

Through me.  

Hope.  

Be Holding a Vision

“We become more able to articulate our own boundaries, dreams, and authentic goals. Our personal flexibility increases while our malleability to the whims of others decreases.” (The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron)

In my mind, I am holding a vision of a life where I spend more time with my brood of boys and close friends than I do currently.   

Expansive hours together.  

Cooking, drinking, talking, shaking things up! 

Magical memory making moments all over the world.  

Eating breakfast in Germany, lunch in France and Swiss fondue in a mountain hut.  

Riding and boating through the canals from Amsterdam to Budapest.  

Skiing, surfing and visiting our friend’s south of the border.  

Big visions. Big dreams.  Big ideals… that will be exciting to watch unfold.  

I have been holding smaller visions and watching them unfold, so I just hold and watch, hold and wait.  

Taking little steps every day! 

Two weeks ago, we watched our neighbourhood Block Watch signs go up.  In September, I held the vision that our neighbourhood would have a block watch.  I talked to a few people, collected names, we attended a meeting and viola, the block watch is in place with 100% participation. 


Two years ago, when I started my health journey with my nutrition company, I envisioned that our family would rent a place at a local ski hill.  I didn’t have expectations on how but I knew it would happen.   I started talking to people and looking.  Soon, a friend heard we were looking and viola, we are now enjoying our second year at the condo.  


Allow me to be a living testimony that you can create beautiful, wild, wonderful visions for your life.  Hold tight to them and don’t allow the expectations of others or the ‘old stuff’ in your life to hold you back.  

Being myself.  

Listening to my heart.  

Living my life.  

Holding my visions.  

Comment below if you would like to share your vision: 

Being vulnerable.  

Adding accountability.  

While watching your visions unfold.  

Be Saying Goodbye to the Backup Boyfriend

You remember in high school when you dated that guy?

That guy that you kind of knew was not the ideal match for you?

That guy that made you look around and think, “Well, if this doesn’t work out, no worries, I could date  _______________ (insert name of another guy)!”

Do you remember your backup boyfriend?  That OTHER guy that was your friend and that you knew you could always fall back on.  Perhaps its the same backup boyfriend that you made a pact with to marry if you were both single at thirty?

Well tonight, I am saying goodbye to a whole bunch of backup boyfriends.  There are no more backups for me.  I am taking 100% responsibility for my life.   My decisions are mine.  I run my thoughts.  I create my actions.  I can do whatever I want.  I am closing the book on a whole bunch of backups in my mind!

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Goodbye to my beautiful backups:

  • My job that was ‘safe’ but not fulfilling, but had a good pension and benefits too!
  • The stuff I keep holding on to because I may “miss it”!
  • A mindset with certain family members that they will always be there if I “need them”!
  • Clothing or workout equipment that I keep around because I may wear it or use it one day!
  • People in my life that are beautiful to look at, but really don’t add any value.  People who aren’t fun nor stretching themselves.
  • Food that stuffs me down, rather than fueling me to rise up.
  • Trying to swim close to shore because “you never know”.
  • Any backups that you could add as you let this land on you?

I can no longer doubt my abilities relying on the backups to help me move forward.   I need to believe 100% in myself, letting go of the backup mindset!

Doubt and belief cannot live in the same space that I am creating.

Growing.

Without backup.

With excitement.

With gratitude.

For all that I am and all that I can do.

Being enough.

Being me!

Be Living Your Light 

Thrown down. 

Living looking down. 

Feeling down. 

While looking around. 

Eyes darting. 

Heart dying. 

Words cursing. 

Running. 

Playing 

All over my mind. 

BUT NOW LIGHT. 

My light shining. 

Pushing up. 

Living as me. 

While looking within. 

Eyes glowing. 

Heart overflowing. 

Words pouring. 

Lying down. 

Living. 

All over my mind. 

BUT NOW LIGHT. 

 
All our lights shining. 

Pushing out. 

Living out loud. 

While looking around. 

Eyes soaring. 

Heart bursting. 

Words blessing. 

Flying. 

Present. 

All over the world. 

MORE AND MORE LIGHT! 

This night do not allow the light of others to diminish all that you can do.  Allow your light to find strength in their light.  Be strong in who you are and build up those around you also living in their light!  Shine my beautiful friend! Light it up! 

 Smooch, Joanna  
Glory to God whose power in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine! (Eph 3:20)  

Be Giving a Gift of Being 

I am in constant flux everyday moving from being a human doing, doing, doing while try to be an awake, present human being. 

  
As I have been journeying through this ‘beingness’, I have pondered and sat, ran and rambled and create a free gift to add value to those that want to wander and wonder as a human being.  

I have created a sixty day set of emails and videos that will be sent randomly throughout the time to your inbox.  Some wonderings may surprise you, others will make you smile and chuckle, but my hope is that as a collective group of likeminded people we will live through sixty days as present, awake human beings. 

Come join us… Checkout www.joannacann.com and leave your email! 

I wonder as I wander…. 60 days together! 

Be on a Negativity Fast and Positivity Feast 

I have learned how to cleanse. 

I love the freedom it brings my mind and body! 

I have previously fasted from Facebook, sugar and books. 

I loved the awareness that it brought. 

And when I heard about a negativity fast and positivity feast for 40 days of Lent, I felt like this was the best idea yet! 

I love the possibilities that this will bring. 

I believe that every word that I speak and write has power, seen and unseen. 

I believe that one person, me, can change the world around me by being positive in thought and mind. 

I believe that if I am intentional about being positive, I will find positive!  

Anyone want to bite off a huge chunk of positivity and feast with me for the next forty days?  

Here is what Igniting Hope Ministries talks about during this season:  

    
 Let’s all take a big chunk of positivity in uses well as through us and watch what will happen!  
This post is inspired by the incredible work Igniting Hope Ministries does affecting the seen and unseen world.   

Be a Dream Car

I fell in love with a car!

Way back in 2001.

I had the great privilege to commute with an amazing group of human beings to a small outlying “VIlle” to teach.  I taught  thirty-three grade six and seven students and had a third of the school in my class, even though there were 6 teachers on staff.  The school was declining in size!  I was fortunate to learn many new things, fall in love with my students and the staff and find my dream car.

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Is it weird that I had never had a dream car before?

Is is strange that my dream was a van?

Perhaps, God knew about the brood of boys that were coming into our life six years later.

I have fallen in love with how he prepares me for “events” in my life.

Day by day.

Person by person.

Story by story.

In 2001, we commuted in a brand, spanking new 2001 grey Honda Odyssey.   On those 5:45am pick-ups, this vehicle was luxury.  With its captain seats and personal water bottles, I thought that I had it made! And that was how my dream was created.

One day.

Some how.

I would own a 2001 Honda Odyssey.

Ten years later, in 2011, we decided to look for a Honda Odyssey as we awaited the birth of our third and three car seats would not fit in the back of our current vehicle.

Enter stage left, a beautiful grey 2001 Honda Odyssey that we could pay cash for and enjoy every day until last Friday.

She decided to stop on the side of the highway.

Just like that!   She sat there for three days while we pondered and prayed and wandered and wondered.

A few friends sat together in our wonderings.

And we are so grateful!

This van taught me how to dream, about cars.

Now she is reminding me how to dream in others ways.

Perhaps our life is meant to be with one car?

I wonder what will happen in the next weeks so that we could pay cash for a new car?

I am excited.

I am leaning in with anticipation.

I am dreaming.

I am so grateful for this dream car!