Category Archives: Communication

Be Talking about Anger/Sadness (A Letter to My Boys)

Hi boys,

Do you remember Thanksgiving 2023 when you boys were in grades 10, 8 and 6? Do you remember the Friday night when I drove away to give myself a few hours “timeout”? I am sure you do as I know that this was an upsetting moment for you as you could sense my sadness and could feel that I was angry.

Before I throw a piece of paper in the garage that I hastily wrote on, with stick people drawings, once I came back home, I wanted to enshrine it here:

What do you do when people feel sadness or anger?

  1. Be annoyed and get angry back?
  2. Try to make them happy?
  3. Allow them to feel. Show empathy?
  4. Any other options?

After I shared my little diagram, I love that all of you were able to to allow me to feel what I felt and even show me empathy. Oxford Languages says that empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Before my timeout, all three of you tried one of these different strategies above when you saw my sadness and anger. One of you started getting angry with me, another tried to tell a joke and lighten the mood and one of you was looking at me with sadness in their own eyes.

After I shared this diagram and we talked, you were all solidly in the empathy category with what I was experiencing in that moment and it was such a gift!

Allow people to feel.

Hold space for them.

Allow people to heal.

Be empathetic for them.

Allow people to deal.

Give time for them.

To be.

To rest.

To process.

Thank you boys for walking that weekend with me and for being open to learning about empathy.

Enjoy your day. Love what you do.

xoxo MAMA

Be Getting The People You Work With Out of the Bedroom

Paint a picture in your mind of every single person you know connected to you through a rectangular gadget. Yes, that gadget that you are probably holding in your hand right now. Picture every human being that is attached to you in some way through your phone.

Intertwined.

Emotionally and spiritually connected.

Through a rectangular gadget.

Our phones.

Let’s great really specific and think about that smelly, high-pitched laugh colleague at work that you may not love that is affixed to you through your work email.

Visualize taking that person with you into bed or even sitting beside you on your night table via your phone. Do you see them?

Picture every single one of your Facebook friends’ faces staring at you as you lie in bed.

Envision every person in your contacts list wanting to connect with you about their stuff, their feelings and their lives as you lie your head down on your pillow at night.

Imagine all those people’s hands reaching out to touch you as you fall asleep.

Feeling overwhelmed with all these “connections” and faces staring at you?

NOW GET THAT PHONE OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM!

Get a good old fashioned plug-in the wall alarm clock.

Charge your phone in the bathroom.

Better yet, charge it in the kitchen or the hallway.

Just leave all those people, those tethers and those beeping and booping noises from that rectangular gadget out of your bedroom.

Because Sexy Neck works with partners all over the world, his phone used to light up like a Christmas tree all hours of the night and wake me up multiple times as the emails, texts and WhatsApp messages came in.

We have been charging our phones in the bathrooms for the last month and guess what, we haven’t missed a single thing.

Not one single thing!

I am so grateful for this new habit and I am never going to bring the outside world into the bedroom again.

Be free.

Be really free.

Let me know if you decide to give this try.

Sleep well my friends and love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

Be a Toastmaster

Do you feel like you have to increase your life insurance or at least put on extra deodorant when you need to speak to a group of people?

Have you heard of Toastmasters?

Are you afraid of public speaking?

Did you know Toastmasters started in 1924?

Do you find it difficult to listen?

Do you know you have a unique perspective to share with the world around you?

When a mentor of mine told me about his over twenty years with Toastmasters, I was curious. I had never heard of it, nor did I know what it was even about. After being asked to speak in front of adults at my company’s events, I knew I needed to checkout a Toastmasters meeting. Speaking to children is no problem for me. I even find it fun and feel like I can be one percent myself. Speaking to adults, makes my face turn crimson red and the sweat to start flowing down my back.

Thanks to Vic Lindal’s encouragement and support, I googled a local meeting time and went. The meetings are an hour long and there is actually a timer to ensure that we don’t go over time. There are prepared speeches, humour, impromptu conversations, evaluations and amazing growth that happens at every single meeting.

I have regularly been attending meetings for over a year. Jumped this September into the role of Secretary Treasurer. I can honestly say that Toastmasters has changed the trajectory of my personal growth, not only in my public speaking, but my ability to listen and lead small groups with growth.

Last fall, I was asked to speak, with a microphone in hand, to two hundred pre-service teachers and I loved every minute of it. This spring, I am preparing to speak to a thousand plus people about technology and our children at a local university. Speaking has become a place of peace and joy for me.

This last Wednesday at our Toastmasters meeting, I was the Toastmaster, the person who runs the meeting! We had the theme of Winter Wonderland and it truly was the most fun I have ever had as a speaker and leader. I introduced the “Toasties” who had prepared speeches. I kept things flowing and managed to keep us exactly on time.

Now that you have a bit of knowledge about Toastmasters, I encourage everyone to seek out a local meeting to attend to see what its really all about. See how it feels for yourself. You receive three meetings for free and the vibe at every meeting is different in every club. Our OC Toastmasters Club is fun, kind-hearted and growth-focused. We love and desire for everyone to contribute and bring their unique gifts to the meetings.

Now, I must come back to that last question I asked at the beginning. That one about your unique gifts. Find a way to feel comfortable sharing with others what you are passionate about and the unique gifts that God has given you. They are there, I promise you. If you can’t see them, talk to me and I will help you discover them. Once you know what they are, learn to share them, speak them out and listen to the gifts of those around them.

What a journey!

What a life!

Thank you Toastmasters for being the impetus for even greater learning and growth that I could imagine.

Be Knowing the Opposite of Love 

I am a feelings girl. 

I no longer apologize for this. 

I feel things deeply. 

I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me. 

I know this. 

Now, I harness this. 

People are powerful. 

We have emotions that fuel behaviour. 

We have passions. 

We have love!  

In my personal journey that I entered into as I walked through the gift of grief, the loss of my mama, I saw love.  

Pure love that no amount of pain could suppress. 

One moment my mama would be writhing and the next moment my boys would walk through the door.  

In that single moment, a smile would come on my mama’s face. Her eyes would open up and she would see them. She would hear them. She would be fully present and LOVING!  


On this journey, I also learned the opposite of love and it wasn’t what I had thought. 

During my four decades of life, I have surmised that the opposite of love was the feelings, thoughts and actions of hate. I realized the untruth of all of this. 

The incongruency. 

The inconsistency. 

I witnessed people, people I dearly love, be silent.  

Be unpresent. 

Eyes closed. 

Ears firmly shut. 

I asked them “why” and implored them to tell me “What could I do differently?”.

I received no responses. 

I had to sit with no answers. 

And then the moment hit me that the opposite of love had never been hate. 

Hate allows for discussion, emotion, action of some sort.  

The opposite of love has never been hate. 

It’s apathy. 

The nothingness. 

The unresponse.  

Love and hate are actions. 

Apathy is lethargy. 

Action and apathy are opposite. 

Apathy is meeting people to go sledding and one person decides to take a nap on the top of the ski hill.  This is not love! 

Apathy is inviting someone over for a two hour birthday party and they fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the party. (Note: The person is in their 30’s!). This is not love! 

Apathy is talking to someone daily and seeing someone weekly and then never being invited over to their house again.  They end up texting to tell you they are selling the house. This is not love! 

Apathy is having your phone in front of your face when someone is trying to have a heartfelt conversation. This is not love! 

Living in my gift of grief and my apathy examples, I implore you to be awake to love and aware of apathy.   


Keep your eyes open.  

Ears ready to hear.  

Be present. 

Be loving. 

I am a feelings girl 

Apathy is brutal! 

I no longer apologize for this. 

Nothingness is worse than hatred. 

I feel things deeply. 

I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me. 

I know this. 

Now I harness this. 
I don’t spend time with apathetic people. 

People are powerful. 

If THEY choose to be! 

Overflowing with love, with action and knowing it’s opposite. 💖

Lessons from a Super Nana who would be celebrating her 75th birthday this week!   I love you Mama. 😘 Joanna 

Be in Massive ‘Inaction’! 

I had a breakthrough weekend at a business conference last Saturday.  It was truly incredible for the inspiration for action that it provided.  I realized that when you go to conferences, you need to create an action plan to help follow through and to stop from becoming adrenal junkie conference hoppers. Just hopping from conference to conference looking for that next ‘high’ or breakthrough.  

Conferences in Las Vegas.  

90 Day Game Plans. 

Massive Action.  

Goal setting and vision creating.  

I was so inspired that I decided to create a plan of ‘Inaction’! 

Less action.  

More Focus. 

Less doing.  

More being.  

My phone now sits on the fridge between 2:30pm and 7:00pm EVERY day.  

My computer is off unless I decide to sit down for 15 minutes and give ‘er with focused, concrete goals to be achieved.  

My ‘work’ is done in chunks of time lumped  together and spread throughout  the day when it works for me.  

My life is back in balance and MASSIVE action is coming from my ‘Inaction’. 

I am connecting with people on a deeper, less interrupted level. 

My boys and I are reading more, hanging out more and I am more present.  

I own my own schedule again. 

My calendar doesn’t run me and my technology doesn’t suck my time away into a vortex of nothingness. 

And the most ironic thing, my business is flourishing! 

Stop.  

Look at your time.  

Do you need to create some space for some massive ‘inaction’? 

Stop doing.  

Just be.  

You.