Tag Archives: life

Be Wondering Why I Wrote My May 28th, 2023 Blog Post?

In the wake of what I wrote on May 28th, 2023, I have had many, many people reach out via phone call, messenger and text to express their shock at what I shared about my mental and physical journey the last few years.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also a sponge. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am a good listener, but I am also not great at sharing what I am experiencing. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am realizing that I need to create a circle of support where I can be seen and heard. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am one thousand million percent grateful that I wrote what I did and shared what I went through. I know that I truly shocked some of you, but I think it really reminds us that these last few years haven’t been easy for many people, whichever side of the “fence” you chose to be on. I wrote this post and had it sitting in my “drafts” for a few weeks, but I decided to publish it for three groups of people.

First, this last autumn season we had two very remarkable young woman living in K-City, one was my niece and the other was Bubba’s daughter, my oldest friend in the world’s daughter. It was such a special time to have them here. When I wrote this post, I thought of them and our three boys. Perhaps one of them will stumble on to this when they need it the most. I hope my sharing will help them is some small way.

I never wrote this post because I needed help right now or I wanted something from someone or I wanted to bring shame or guilt onto anyone else. My message was simply to help one other person, either now or in the future when someone stumbles upon that blog. One beloved friend wrote to me a few days after my blog: “I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for sharing your last post on Be Enough about re-claiming your health (mental and physical)…. Basically all you have been through and how you’ve described it is EXACTLY how I’ve felt the past 3 years.”. The second reason was simply to help one person feel less alone!

Lastly, I was also thinking of all the young people who have committed suicide these last three years. (And no, suicide was never an option or thought for me personally, but my darkest moments made me think about the hopelessness people must feel when they attempt or commit suicide.) Every day in Canada 11 people commit suicide and 200 people attempt it. Did you know that 75% of the people who commit suicide are male? The saddest part for me as I learned about suicide rates in our beautiful and “in need of healing” country was this rate is rising, not going down, with everything we know about mental health.

I wonder what would happen is more of us shared our stories, without worrying about judgement of being labelled or worrying about being put into a box or then having people try to “fix” us. I wonder if people were exactly where they are, when they are, how they are what our communities would look like?

And that’s all for this Thursday folks. Love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

Be Framing Your Job with One Thought

 My one thought about my job today: I can be replaced in a minute.  The leadership of my school is so remarkable, I could probably be replaced in less than a minute.

Yes, it’s true for me and for you.  No one is irreplaceable in their work.

I recognized this shortly after my mom died and I fully grasped that she was truly irreplaceable.

Gone forever.

Never to be replaced.

Yes, we have had phenomenal people “fill in the vast gap” my mom left, but no one can restore her place in our lives as a mom and super nana.

A job is a unique arena of life as we all need to find ways to house and feed ourselves, but this great loss made me understand the temporality of work and life.

This morning, I am interviewing for a new job for the next school year. I am taking this mentality into my interview and I feel free.

Free to ponder.

Free to choose.

Free to open the door and see if this new opportunity will help me be a better wife, mom, friend, teacher and human being living on this earth.

Free to live!

So folks, as you ponder this next year ahead of you, what would you change if you knew you could be replaced in your job tomorrow, but never be replaced as a mother, father, daughter, brother, sister, cousin…?

Here temporarily.

Never to be replaced within your “family”.

Have an epic Tuesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Be Astounded by Top-Down Wipers

I was 49 and 3 days years old when my son pointed out a Lexus with a back wiper that came down from the top.

Astounding.

Revolutionary.

Mind blowing.

Why don’t all wipers come down from the top?

The wiper was hidden up at the top under the overhang of the car. I didn’t even notice it! It wiped away the equal amount of the window as a wiper coming from the bottom, so why don’t all cars have this?

Imagine scraping the snow off the window in the winter without a wiper to contend with at the bottom?

Imagine not having that back wiper sticking out to grab onto an oversize sweater you are wearing?

Imagine less wear and tear on the wiper as it doesn’t sit in the snow/rain/hail/sun every single day?

I am guessing in the next few years that every single car will have a back wiper that comes down from the top, unless someone can tell me some negatives from this really revolutionary idea.

And that’s my random thought from this week.

Have a sunny, relaxing Sunday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Be Leaning Into Pain and Moving Towards Pleasure

I have had quite a few lessons in life where I have had to lean into pain. How about you? Any pain coursing through your body and mind these days?

As a 15 year old, I had a very close friend who decided to hangout with older friends that partied, smoked and drank. I had to literally walk away from her as we discovered we no longer had anything in common as I pursued my athletic goals and knew that health was my future. It’s painful to lose people who you have been friends with you for years.

As a 21 year old, I was injured in my third year of university volleyball. Right after I hoisted the cup as the captain of my university team declaring we were the best team in Canada, I had to make a choice. I made a very painful decision to retire from volleyball after deciding not to do a surgery with a questionable outcome.

As a 39 year old, I grieved deeply as we moved from Vernon to Kelowna. I said goodbye to my parents living ten minutes away. We lost the routine of preschool pick-up seeing friends who had known us since before we had kids and having the beautiful Vernon Music School and the “Peanut” park just down the road. No longer could we drive 25 minutes up the hill to be at both world class downhill and cross country skiing.

Now in 2023, I am watching quite a few people in pain around me right now: Dealing with deaths, or divorces or illnesses or poor choices by those around them or …. just plain and simple pain.

What I want to say friends is: LEAN IN! Lean fully into the pain. I don’t believe that ignoring it, drinking it away, binge watching netflix or not fully acknowledging pain helps us as human beings in any way. Denial and distraction don’t really help us move through the pain. These two D’s help us get stuck!

Right now, we are personally having to lean into some pain, some uncomfortableness and a lot of uncertainty. I know that leaning into these feelings will help us move towards pleasure and not make any rash decision based on pain.

Not one single decision based on the pain we have experienced have been good ones.

Lean into the pain, then seek the pleasure and run towards it.

Sit against that wall in the darkness and feel that pain going through your body and then know the sunshine of pleasure will be just around the corner.

I have experienced it.

I know it.

I choose it!

Lean into the pain.

Feel it.

Soak in it.

Feel.

Deal.

Heal.

Then you will be able to truly make a decision based out of pleasure and not pain with the added bonus that you won’t make any rash or “bad” decision based on that pain alone, like we have done in the past!

Now, go have an epic Thursday and love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

Be on a 450 Day Streak with Duolingo

Schönen donnerstag

Today marks the day where I have been logging into the Duolingo App to practice my German for 450 days in a row. Almost 15 months of daily practice for at least 5 minutes that has moved me through 23 different lessons on various topics in German. One restriction with my practice is that I have the free account and thus only have “five hearts” per day to work through my lessons. Yup, no paid app that would allow me to have unlimited practice. This means that if I get more than five answers wrong, I have to stop my practice and login later in the day to complete my practice, with usually only 2-3 hearts.

Now, this milestone has me thinking: What other daily habits could I instil into my life and consistently do for 450 days?

Healthy, clean eating? This would be amazing.

Drink a minimum of 4 cups of water? My body would love this.

Get into bed by 10:00pm each night? Ohhh, that would delicious.

Are there free apps for all these things?

I do love the game that Duolingo creates in my mind and I love keeping up with my streak. Why did I decide to use the App? Many of my students use Duolingo to help them develop their second language skills. I was super curious to see how the lessons worked and soon after I started in December 2022, I was hooked. My ultimate goal is to get back to Germany and have a conversation in German with my best friend and her children.

Cheers to streaks of healthy habits!

Have a beautiful Thursday and love what you do.

xoxox Joanna

Be Living Through March 16th, 2020 (3 year “anniversary”)

What does today bring up for you?

What do you feel when you think of and sit with what happened on March 16th, 2020?

I will forever be grateful for those that walked through March 16th, 2020 and beyond alongside our family:

with kindness

containing no humiliation, damnation nor discrimination.

with an open heart and open mind to those around them

containing no judgement, harsh words or anger.

It wasn’t easy, I know.

My counsellor explained to me that during this initial period starting from the shock of March 16th, 2020 (we were suppose to be in Vancouver at a gymnastics competition), people couldn’t hide anymore. The levels of appreciation for life became stronger or the levels of anger in life also became stronger. There was rarely a middle ground.

To those who study and “know” science and walked uncomfortably through the ENTIRE scientific method while living through what was happening to us as a country, a culture, a world, I am eternally grateful.

(Plus they didn’t simply jump to the “conclusion” step of the scientific method as that is always the most comfortable place to be. I truly take my hat off to you!)

I will always be grateful for those people who know that personal choice, personal story and personal wellness were always an alternative in this world.

I have no opinion, even after three years of looking at the research being obtained from around the world, on what anyone else should have done with their lives on and since March 16th, 2023, but I am sure very, very, very grateful for our own family’s choices.

Living up at Apex Ski Resort until 2021.

Continuing with home learning.

Spending time in nature.

Keeping up with our community of diverse-minded people with Zooms, phone calls and in person visits when we simply wanted to hunker down and hide.

Sharing my love of home learning with people who were pushed it into and even sharing some tips on how to teach over Zoom.

Hugs whenever we could get them.

Not allowing those living in fear and judgement and “conclusion-making” to bump us out of experiencing the greatest scientific experiment of our time. Three years later, we don’t have conclusions, especially in British Columbia and Canada, with what started on March 16th, 2020.

Happy Thursday amazing folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

P.S. I have never shared my personal “health status” and I won’t, which has caused many people discomfort. I am not a doctor, virologist, nurse or even remotely involved with the health care system. I will not be sharing my status as I believe, as an Educator, everyone needs to dig in and do their own research, especially right now. The beginning of all knowledge are questions. It is a fascinating time folks and it’s okay if we have been wrong during these last few years of working through this “Science”. I know that I have!

Be Moving Back to Vernon

These last few months, I have been thinking that our family needs to move back to Vernon…. almost ten years here in K-City and, well, I am not sure what to say about it. In the last three months, I have ran into four friends from Vernon at Costco, the ski hill, for walks and I have realized the deepness of these friendships I really miss.

I miss those friends who:

~ knew me before I was a mom

~ knew my own mom

~ I spent time working with and on vacation with

~ walked through years of change involving birth and death

~ did Music classes with me when the boys were in preschool. (Such a sweet season)

Ten years ago we made the decision to move here as Steve was commuting to K-City, 45 minutes away from our house in Vernon, and he was seeing very little of us due to long hours and evening meetings. One day, yup one day, after we moved to K-city my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Five months later she had died.

As I sit down and have a serious conversation with the family about moving back to Vernon, the boys are all a “hard no”. They were 2, 4 and 6 when we moved to K-City and this is really home for them. They have activities they love, a neighbourhood that loves on them and freedom to move around the city with confidence.

And now I remember a story from a wise uncle. Uncle John owned a fabulous apartment near Commercial Drive in Vancouver. He decided that he wanted to live a bit more freely and travel more than he already did. He sold the Commercial Drive apartment and moved into a great rental apartment on Chestnut Street beside the Burrard Street bridge and one block from the beach. His views were incredible and the accessibility to Vancouver was amazing. If I lived in Vancouver, this is the area I would want to live.

Uncle John loved living in this apartment building and weathered the loss of his parents and his sister. His entire family of origin died in a these short few years. Then Uncle John heard that his old apartment was for sale again, after being fully renovated. He jumped at the chance “to go back”. He rebought his old apartment, moved in and realized he had made a terrible mistake. He had bought the apartment “to go back” to a time where his parents and sister were alive. He wanted to truly turn back time. After a few short months, he resold his apartment on Commercial Drive for a second time and again moved back into his amazing rental apartment overlooking the Pacific Ocean. He was really happy and realized that you never can go back.

…and now as I ponder our family moving back to Vernon, his story has become my own. Why do I want “to go back” to Vernon? It is mostly because I want “to go back” to a time when my mom was alive and we had a wonderful circle of support around us. These have been lonely few years that have developed a deep well of resiliency and perseverance on my part raising three young men without that close support and encouragement as a mom. Even today when I receive a compliment on my role as a mother, I am always surprised because it is so rare. It often brings me to tears.

So we won’t be moving back to Vernon. The show must go on in K-City for this mom of three boys now ages, almost 16, 13 and 11. BUT, you never know where we will end up once the boys are graduated and finding their own paths in life.

Have a wonderful Wednesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Be Striving for Ordinary

There is a lot of striving for extraordinary in our world these days!

What extravagant location will I visit?

What luxury brand of purse or clothing can I buy?

How much do I make per year?

What private school do our children attend?

What can I post on social media to make myself be seen and be extraordinary?

Me, I am striving for ordinary.

How many walks or hikes can I take around our town and local hills?

How little can I shop or how many weeks can I go between having to step foot in a store?

How can I help my children truly learn in their unique ways?

How many conversations can I have that are authentic and encouraging on a daily basis?

How many books will I read this year?

I have been pondering this concept of always striving for being or doing something extraordinary. It reminded me of my last eight years in the Network Marketing realm. I remember early on when I started sharing the products I love, I met a woman in her early 30’s who was a true light, with two young girls and a house on the hill. She explicitly told me that her sole goal in the company was to speak in front of 15,000+ people at our annual conference. Her financial goals were intertwined with wanting to be in front of 15,000+ people. I always found this genuinely fascinating and unrelatable to me personally as my best moments were often chatting in the line to the washrooms or sitting beside someone in the seats or simply walking down the street. Ordinary moments that turned into extraordinary relationships.

I have realized now in my teaching careers as I am asked to speak and present information to others that I would rather be the person stacking the chairs at the back than speaking to everyone from the front. (I actually shared this two weeks ago to someone in our school leadership team.) I am really happy being behind the scenes. (And clicking away on my computer keyboard as I share my musings. I am so happy right now as I write this!)

Striving for ordinary.

Yup, that’s me.

Have an epic Wednesday and love what you do!

xoxo Joanna