Tonight, I sit and I ponder.
I stir things around.
In my mind.
In my spirit.
I allow the hamster wheel of thoughts go round and round.
I allow the thoughts to stop the wheel on “I feel sh*tty!”.
I am not one to swear, nor one to go towards the side of feeling sh*tty.
Tonight I do.
I have a dear friend walking the same journey that I did two years ago. After a hospital stay and doctors doing what they can to prolong life, my friend’s beautiful mama is going home to die.
I have one of my best peeps in KCity awaiting to see if she has cancer in her body. She had a biopsy to have melanoma removed from her back last week.
I have a fellow volleyballers who’s servant-hearted Dad is living with Alzheimer’s.
There is a girl in the boys elementary school that starts life-saving, on your knees “hoping for a miracle” treatment for a brain tumour. This sweet soul was also in Owen’s preschool last year.
My cousin is back in town from up north to have surgery, the second surgery in a few weeks.
And my three wee boys are under the weather.
So, what do I do?
I lean into the people who love me.
I spend time carving pumpkins.
I look at the beautiful autumn leaves.
I take a week off from my teaching job, to sit, to serve and to be.
An opportunity to be where I am.
Sitting with my feelings.
For all I can do.
All of my feelings.
Being a human being.