Be Sad

I am “hollow in the pit of my stomach” sad.

I had a picture of how my life would unfold, where I would live and specifically in which town. My husband, Sexy Neck, has been working 60 kilometres down the lake since July.

We are moving so that we can have more time playing/eating/wrestling together as a family, instead of Sexy Neck spending two hours per day in his “steel box on wheels” with just the ability to talk with us on the phone.

BUT I AM SAD!  Right now my “work”, with the help of a very wise, God-loving woman, is learning to acknowledge what I am feeling and what my children are feeling.  I didn’t realize that my body lets me know how I am feeling even before my mind tells me.  This is a profound thought for me, as I am very in tune to my body due to many years of competitive sport.

My sadness comes in the form of a hollow stomach, my anger comes in sweaty hands/ battering heart and my fear come in tension in my shoulders and down my arms.   What does your body do/tell you?

My children love this new habit of me acknowledging their feelings, getting down to their physical level, naming their feeling (anger, frustration, happy, sad, excited) and giving them a hug/kiss.  This simple acknowledgement seems to diffuse almost every situation that occurs in our home.

So here is the house with the for sale sign:


Not many people knew that we were going to sell our house.  We had an offer even before we put it on the market. Glory to God alone! The realtor had told us that it would take between six and twelve months.  God is helping us move forward, but I am not quite ready.

I am still sad.  I wish that as people found out about us selling that they could acknowledge my sadness.  The normal response is pointing out all the great things, activities, schools, people, areas about the new city that we are going to.

What is wrong with being a little sad?  Please let me grieve so that I don’t have to see a counsellor about this issue in ten years.

Today I will be with my feelings… tomorrow I will probably be jumping off the walls with excited.  I will keep you posted!

Be Up All Night (Almost)

I am at a loss for words as I sit and write this.  I will let me emails to Sexy Neck (my husband) take you through last night.  He was away on work, but my emails to him helped me stay in the moment.  I have never had a night like this with my boys. Enjoy the ride.  Off to nap.

Strap yourselves in, here we go:


Tues, Feb 19 at 11:18pm

Subject: I am managing

CC is now throwing up.  He is all cleaned up, laundry is on and I am heading back to bed.  Please pray for us.  I am okay.  It is truly amazing that God never gives us more than we can handle.  Rest well. We are okay. 
Tues, Feb 19 at 11:48pmSubject: Vomit #2

CC again – poor guy.  But he is resting now.  I hope everything is out.  All is clean again.  We are sleeping with windows open tonight. 

Tacos are now off the menu for awhile as well as Salmon.  You are going to have to start cooking as that is 2 meals off my rotation!



Wed, Feb 20 at 12:16am

Subject: The Troops are…

Restless tonight!  Baby OC has made a few noises tonight.  He also had the worst poo I have EVER changed today – it was all the way up his back!  Wow! 

JC seems to be okay, but we should know more by the weekend. 

I pray you are having one of the best sleeps every and that you wake up feeling rested.  You have alot going on.  I appreciate that. 

One day/one moment/one person/one problem at a time.



Wed, Feb 20 at 12:57am

Subject: Vomit #3

You would be so proud of me!  If I don’t get sick, it is a miracle.  CC is resting again. Another load of laundry in.  I am going to try and rest.  *Note I NEVER clean up vomit when Sexy Neck is home, that is a blue job in our house!



Wed, Feb 20 at 1:46am

Subject: Vomit #4

This time you would have been proud of CC he got everything in the bowl!

We are hanging in there.  CC is so sweet even when he is sick! 

Love you.  Rest up.  Stay healthy!



Wed, Feb 20 at 2:20am

Subject: Baby OC now up…

Just woke up in pain.  Gave him Tylenol.  Just sitting with him and waiting for him to ho back to sleep.



Wed, Feb 20 at 2:35am

Subject: Please

Hopefully the boys sleep in.., finally hitting the hay!



Wed, Feb 20 at 2:48am

Subject: Baby OC is awake again!!!!


Ok now I am going to try and sleep.  Don’t ask me any skill testing questions tomorrow(later today I mean).



Wed, Feb 20 at 3:01am

Subject: CC again

Another vomit session right after I pressed send on the last email.  Baby OC is awake and yelling “cookie” over and over – this is comical.  Seriously.

I hope you can laugh about all this!  What a night! What a week!  What a month!



Wed, Feb 20 at 3:14am

Subject: It is a Party

Every boy is now awake.  JC now vomiting



Wed, Feb 20 at 3:21am

Subject: Power Puke

There is now puke all over the toilet, walls, floor.  Thank God JC got up to pee first.

Breastfeeding Baby OC now and trying to get him calmed.  Waiting for the next round…..

Try not to worry about us.  I will rest with the boys today.  I have a feeling that everyone will be sleeping in.

I will phone you when we wake up.


–Sexy Neck has been woken up by all my pings on his email! Here is his first response, of many, but the only one I will post. 

Wed, Feb 20 at 3:21am

Subject: Come home?

 Do you want me to come home?


My final responses:

No,but if you could come home on the early side tomorrow that would be fabulous!!

It is comforting knowing you are awake too!

Wed, Feb 20 at 3:26am
Subject: Just trying
To get OC to sleep – he is a sensitive soul… Then off to clean the taco dinner off the wall.  I hope it doesn’t stain!  I am only as strong as I allow god to help me.  Gotta run – here jackakung noises and must get OC back into crib!
Wed, Feb 20 at 3:39am
Subject: re: Come home? 
CC again!  Poor child.  If this hits us we will be out for a month.  Please pray for strength for our bodies.
Wed, Feb 20 at 3:52am
Subject: Signing off
Both boys still awake in our bed.  Towels all around – only one more left so hopefully the next round makes it into the bowls. Rest well.  I am signing out. Joanna

Be Where You Are

I have returned to “The Gym”, something I swore I would never do after ten years of competitive sport and countless hours in “The Gym”.

I am loving working out again!  It is fantastic to be active with a group of women who are so inspiring.  I love lining up in a row on your bike/treadmill/stepper chatting away and sweating.

My boys reminded me that I need to stick at my own level.

It is easy to get next to my friend, Penny, who does spin classes two to three times per week and cranks out rpms on the bike that would make Lance Armstrong, without drugs, sweat.   I need to learn to be okay where I am.

Today, my boys pulled out a few crafts from the cupboard behind out kitchen table.  Our five year old, JC, pulled out some paper and a pencil and began writing a story about nighttime animals.  Baby OC, pulled out the playdough and started pounding away. Our three year old, CC, got out a pirate colouring book and went back and forth and back and forth with his favourite blue felt.


Whether I want to write a new story, pound away or just go back and forth, back and forth, the most important thing when it come to my mental and physical health is for me to be okay with where I am, in this moment, in this day, even at “The Gym”.

Note to self: I also need to continue to allow my children to be where they are.

Be Enough My Son


A crib with blocks under one end, how curious!

A crib with blocks under one end, how incredible!  Absolutely, amazing.  Lie on the floor, cry your eyes out marvelous.  This crib has shown me the mind blowing influence that we have over our children.  They are truly watching everything we do!

Two nights ago, our little baby boy didn’t want to eat his dinner.  As you know in previous posts, he is a voracious eater.   After dinner, he was sitting on daddy’s lap (thank you Jesus!) and proceeded to vomit across the table, down onto daddy lap and all over his favourite fire truck book.  (Sorry OC, we threw it out.)

While we were cleaning up the mess, our oldest child immediately ran out of the dining room, into his bedroom then back out again.  I didn’t think anything of it.

UNTIL, I walked into the boys room to get a change of clothes for our little vomit-er and what did I see, but a crib with blocks under one end!

Before Christmas, Baby OC had a cough so we had raised up the end of the crib using the boys blocks.

TWO MONTHS LATER, our son immediately responded to his brother’s sickness by again raising up the end of his crib with blocks.  ALL BY HIMSELF!

Baby OC is 100% again, but we have left the blocks.  Thanks to my five year old son, for showing me how to BE ENOUGH in every moment!  You are a sweet, thoughtful soul!


Be A Gift Giver

I come from a pair of expert gift givers. My parents are probably the most giving people I know. The see a need in our house and they fill it. The spend their time and financial resources to bless us immensely.

Here is the latest gift to show up on our counter:


A brand new camera that my dad had bought my mom from Costco. My mom already had a camera she liked! Have you noticed my bad blurry pictures that I have been taking with my husband’s ITouch? My parents did.

Then a few days ago another gift showed up in my mailbox – a bottle of hand lotion for my very dry hands. How do my friends know?

What do you have hanging around your house that you could pass on? We do only use twenty percent of what we own. Now let the other stuff go. I have been blessed!


Be A Pumper

Sexy Neck and I spent fifteen hours (one night) away from our three boys. They were playing, watching tv, and hanging out with Nana and Papa.

We were having one of the most relaxing times of our lives at a beautiful European style hotel with a ginormous bathtub in the room and sauna, steam rooms and pools just two floors down.

Here’s the lowdown via photos:




The one thing about “going away” when you are a breast feeding mom is that when the baby is not available the milk still needs to come out. I chose to hand express, but “Be A Pumper” was a catchier title.

Here we are on checkout enjoying the view one last time. I am carrying my “liquid gold”, as our midwife liked to call it!