Tag Archives: sad

Be Leaving Slippers at the Door

My mom died just over two years ago.

Wump!

My dad has not been a part of our daily life in the last nine months.

Wump! Wump!

My life and the daily rhythm of my brood of boys has changed drastically over the last two years.  The two people that played such a significant part in their lives, are now gone.

Gone without understanding or knowing.

Disappeared from our presence but not from our thoughts or our hearts.

We cannot pretend to understand another’s grief.

We can only sit with them in acceptance for wherever they are.

We cannot judge.

We can only be.

Last Thursday, after much personal work with a beautiful counsellor, we decided to leave Papa’s slippers outside the door.

A symbol of welcoming.

In hopes that he will soon return.

To our daily life.

With his arms always loaded with fun things to do and great gifts to eat.

With his joyful laughter and silly stories.

Our door is always open to you Papa!

We don’t understand.

But we love!

With open hearts.

Open arms.

Open doors.

Your slippers are waiting Papa!

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Be Sad

I am “hollow in the pit of my stomach” sad.

I had a picture of how my life would unfold, where I would live and specifically in which town. My husband, Sexy Neck, has been working 60 kilometres down the lake since July.

We are moving so that we can have more time playing/eating/wrestling together as a family, instead of Sexy Neck spending two hours per day in his “steel box on wheels” with just the ability to talk with us on the phone.

BUT I AM SAD!  Right now my “work”, with the help of a very wise, God-loving woman, is learning to acknowledge what I am feeling and what my children are feeling.  I didn’t realize that my body lets me know how I am feeling even before my mind tells me.  This is a profound thought for me, as I am very in tune to my body due to many years of competitive sport.

My sadness comes in the form of a hollow stomach, my anger comes in sweaty hands/ battering heart and my fear come in tension in my shoulders and down my arms.   What does your body do/tell you?

My children love this new habit of me acknowledging their feelings, getting down to their physical level, naming their feeling (anger, frustration, happy, sad, excited) and giving them a hug/kiss.  This simple acknowledgement seems to diffuse almost every situation that occurs in our home.

So here is the house with the for sale sign:

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Not many people knew that we were going to sell our house.  We had an offer even before we put it on the market. Glory to God alone! The realtor had told us that it would take between six and twelve months.  God is helping us move forward, but I am not quite ready.

I am still sad.  I wish that as people found out about us selling that they could acknowledge my sadness.  The normal response is pointing out all the great things, activities, schools, people, areas about the new city that we are going to.

What is wrong with being a little sad?  Please let me grieve so that I don’t have to see a counsellor about this issue in ten years.

Today I will be with my feelings… tomorrow I will probably be jumping off the walls with excited.  I will keep you posted!