Should
Always
Never
Bored
Busy
What words would you add to my list?
Have an epic Tuesday and love what you do.
xoxo Joanna
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Be Thriving with the six to eight day per year peeps
Summer 2019 is here!
And its SURVIVAL mode for those people being inundated with company, people they see six to eight days per year. I had an epiphany to share with you, one to make you THRIVE this year.
First, start by thinking about those 365 day per year peeps in your life. Who are the people you live with or choose to have in your inner circle? What do you have in common with them and why do you choose to hangout with them? What do you talk about and what do you love to do together?
Now, think about those six to eight days per year people. Next proceed to throw everything that you thought about and love about your 365 day per year people and fling it directly into the bottom of the swimming pool. These peeps that are in your life six to eight days per year, may be old friends or family. They may be colleagues from your spouses work that you attend conferences with or neighbours you only see in the summer.
Here’s my secrets to not only SURVIVE but THRIVE with these peeps.
Remember that everything that you thought and love about your 365 day per year peeps has been flung to the bottom of the swimming pool, now throw any negative thought or judgement about the six to eight days per week peeps in there too!
Get ready to look at you: What are your standards for healthy relationships and how do you want to interact with all people, no matter how often they are in your life? For me, this is pouring love and bringing the joy. I don’t share much about my life or even feelings at all, with my six to eighters, I save this for my 365 days per year peeps. But I do have fun with everyone. We eat nourishing delicious food. We go on and find adventures. We talk about travel. We discuss health. But I do not go into the deep end! Remember all that stuff that you had flung down into the deep end of the pool? Don’t go there! Oh I used you and boy what a mess it made.
These six to eighters can’t keep up with the change that happens in the other over three hundred and fifty days of your life. They can’t embrace the change because it would be like getting hit by a fast moving train. The people who can keep up, are on the train. Invested in you. In your inner circle. Those every day peeps who support and love you. The six to eighters receive the benefit of your high standards and love-filled hospitality. But that’s it folks. You may end up talking about things you don’t give a shit about for hours, but you ask questions and listen. You probably will end up doing mind numbing activities that were never on your wish list, but you will discover the joy and enjoy the ride. You will create space to recharge with who you are as you live these six to eight days per year. I exercise. I read. I spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom. I bring games I enjoy playing. I bring up new topics of conversations and then change it back once I see the six to eighters eyes start to gloss over.
Imagine….
Pure joy.
Overflowing love.
Judgement thrown away.
Negative thoughts too!
Thriving with the peeps who show up six to eight days per year.
Staying on your train, but diverting long enough to embrace other peoples rides.
THRIVING!
Be a Grower or a Grumbler
Last night, I was talking to an old student of mine about her new job working in a retirement home for the local health authority. I used to work full time in education. Both of these union jobs are where wages are not determined by your performance but dependant on how long you have worked there and what level of education or specific job title you have. Again, how much you are paid is not dependent on how well you do your job.
In this type of occupation where the monetary value is not determined by performance, I have personally witnessed that we end up with two types of employees: Growers and Grumblers.
Growers have their focus on always learning first and growing themselves then they have their eyes focused on exactly who they are there to serve. They embrace visionary leadership that may be different to how they do things. If they see problems, they have solutions to go along with them, plus they take action to solve those problems. Growers live in a constant state of being able to adapt, see the change and be the change. They overflow with gratitude and enjoy 99% of their time in their position.
Grumblers have their focus solely on how things “used to be” or how things “ought to be”. They love talking about what’s wrong. That’s it, they just love talking about what’s wrong. Leadership that involves any type of vision, change or growth is not embraced, but rather seen as another thing to add to the “what’s wrong” list. They live in a constant state of stress, worry and fear. Grumblers clearly do not enjoy most things about their jobs and they are sure to let everyone know when it’s almost Friday. I have been both a Grower and a Grumbler so I speak these words from personal experience.
Three things I discovered reflecting on these two types of employees were:
~ Grumblers tend to stick together. Growers seems to stick together. It appears they don’t often have a high tolerance for each other.
~ Inside this type of employee structure, the Grumblers are often the loudest and have the largest amount of influence.
~ Outside of this employee culture, Growers prevail. The Growers are the ones that most people gravitate towards, even the Grumblers. Where performance matters, Growers shine. Grumblers fall behind.
Since leaving the education world full time, I have full embraced and now thrive in the performance-based structure of creating income. As an entrepreneur, I know, with certainty, that my business will only grow to the rate that I grow myself. As an entrepreneur, I am paid by the value that I provide to my customers and the world around me. I don’t have a set income. I can choose who to surround myself with. Truly the opportunities are endless.
I loved education. I was passionate about learning alongside my students. And I still use the skills and knowledge that I received in that profession, but I am very happy to be outside that environment and surrounded by Master Growers every. Single. Day.
Growers.
Planting.
Looking.
Open.
Seeking.
Finding.
Grumblers.
Harvesting.
Talking.
Closed.
Sitting.
Found.
Take a look around you today and see who you are surrounded by. Are they Growers or Grumblers? This will tell you exactly where you are. Believe I know. I have been surrounded by both and lived as both. And like I said, now that I am surrounded by Master Growers. I can never go back into the Grumbler culture.
Find freedom my friends.
Exactly as you are.
Exactly where you are.
Never stop growing.
Surround yourself with Growers.
Be.
Enough.
Joanna 😘
<come hangout with me on Instagram @cannjoanna)
Dedicated to all the growers that surround me, inspire me, share what they are learning about and what they are grateful for.
Be Soil, Sun, Water and Oxygen
More today, now than ever, we need connections and people to mentor us on our life journeys. Between the smoke and mirrors of social media and the messages being portrayed in movies, streaming and in advertisements, finding our individual growth journey is more important than it ever has been. Slowly, we are inundated with the perfect lives, the neatly wrapped up stories and lives that are missing connections with the people breathing all around us. We have forgotten to look around. We are often looking at our phone missing the people around us.
Look out.
Look within.
See the beauty around you.
See the beauty within.
As I thought about people who have helped me become the “flower” that I am: colourful, a bit tattered at the edges, long, strong and loving life amongst my other flowers, I have realised that there have been four key people who have helped me on my journey.
Donna S, one of my mom’s very best friends, has been my soil. She has provided nourishment at the right time of my life. She has always held space and made space for me to be me. I have never felt judgement from her, ever. Donna has been the ground that I could stand on when growing. She, too, was married to a Principal, worked in a care giving position as a nurse and chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Donna is also a mom of three children. She makes the very best zucchini sticks, fresh from her garden. It never fails on my birthday that I will receive a birthday card from Donna. A handwritten card will often show up at other pertinent moments, like my first year of University and my first time living alone, I received a card in November. I will never forget sitting on my dorm room bed, reading the card and crying because someone remembered me and thought of me. Isn’t that a nourishing thought? Where would I be without this soil beneath my feet provided by Donna?
Who loves the sun? Jean R. was my “University mom” and she was my light and sun during my growth as a university student. She showed me how to live a life of freedom being exactly who you are. Jean gave me physical and spiritual food and she showed me how to tap into God’s love and grace. She had created beautiful rituals around the holidays and always had a handful of people home for the holidays, unrelated, but always at home at Jean and Joe’s. Jean was married to an Engineer and is also a mom of three. She, too, chose to be a stay-at-home mom and raise her three children while having a hairdressing studio in her basement. She was also the person that gave me light on my wedding day by doing my hair. Where would I be without this light-filled person in my world?
Now enter into my life, water in the form of Hilde W. or Mrs. White in English. She came to me in a season of tremendous growth, early in my marriage. Hilde was my German mom and also a mother of three. She showed me how to soak up new ideas and how she literally turned a century old barn into a thriving hotel and restaurant in a village the population of an elementary school. Living in room 25 of her hotel, she also taught me how to cook pizza on a wood oven outside and load a mean dishwasher. She was open and accepting and poured great love into both us. She watered us on a daily basis with her kind words, big ideas and hard work. What would I be without watching this clear living water pour from Hilde?
Lastly, I end with my mentor who has breathed life in me from the very beginning. She was my mom’s fellow ‘hockey wife’, one of her best friends and Wendy knew me when I was in my mother’s womb. Wendy is also one of the first people that all my boys met when they were born. She taught me how to show up in live, just be and breathe. Wendy also reminds me never to forget to laugh. She showed me how to live the gift of grief when she lost her husband in a car accident when I was in my teens. Wendy gives the very best gifts! Through her actions and her words she is like a breathe of fresh air and her hugs, ah her hugs, they literally give you life. Wendy helped in the family business, worked in schools, but mostly loved on her three children. Where would I be without seeing Wendy live with full life with full breathes and have so much fun? O’Wen!
All of us are flowers getting ready to bloom. We just need to remember or find those that are nourishing us as soil, sun, water and oxygen. I wonder who those people are for you. Conversely, I wonder who you could be those things for.
Soil.
Sun.
Water.
Oxygen.
Moms of three.
Filled with light.
Overcomers of loss.
Living life.
All very important elements and role models for me to have to truly bloom.
Note: For the article that inspired me to write this post, take a look at this article. Thanks Wendy W. for the inspiration, my fellow flower!
Be Opening the Treasure Box (Mother’s Day 2018)
Five Mother’s Days!
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
Five specific moments to ponder the gift of grief that I received when my mom died.
Five seasons of pondering, praying and seeing what my hamster mind would create with the unthinkable fact that I won’t have my mom’s physical presence with me until we meet in heaven.
Five Sundays to remember that I made a decision that nothing bad would ever come from my mom’s death.
And it hasn’t.
Ever!
The moments where the waves of grief come over me have helped me uncover treasure.
The waves have washed away the debris and clutter. Clarity has come.
These waves have made me sit or lie down and ponder what pieces of gold that my mom gave me that I am now missing.
This grief has given me the privilege to see my mom’s life in totality from a perspective I never imagined.
As a daughter.
As a neighbour.
As a teacher.
As a friend.
Watching my mom’s life come to an end allowed me to see and feel in a new way! I was able to see and feel her influence, to this day, as my fingers tap on this keyboard. My mom/Super Nana’s presence is still felt in our lives by those who knew her and people that now know us, but never met my mama.
Below are the treasures I have discovered about my mom. Miraculously, now ALL these treasures are held and given to me by different people in my life, especially Sexy Neck! The light has overshadowed the darkness of the valley of the shadow of death. I am incredibly grateful for these treasures given in DEATH to me by my mom and now given to me in LIFE by my close family and friends.
The treasure box has been flung open:
✨ My mama had a golden heart. She was always open to others and felt things deeply. Her heart was incredibly good. It was pure gold. She was the most non-judgemental person you could meet. (And she never commented on my choice of clothing!).
✨ My mama had a silver stature and posture. She could have been a President of a large company or a Principal of any school, but instead she chose family first and help raise myself, my sister, my cousins, our friends and anyone she taught. We were given the ability to hold our posture no matter what came our way. She exemplified this. She even helped me keep my posture when I said “F*ck off” to our neighbour Chris H. by washing my mouth out with soap.
✨ My mama had a shining smile and life-giving words that flowed from those lips. She always found something good to say, even when people, in the same situation, may not have found something good to say. I remember when she was close to the end of her cancer journey and we were talking about her having cancer and she responded, “Why not me, JJ?”
✨My mama was clothed in humility. Her volunteerism, going above and beyond in all her teaching job was a treasure for me that I now out on every day. She created healthy boundaries but still often found ways to put others first. We often had our cousins on family vacations, neighbours over to swim and we even had one of my sister’s friends live with us for a year just because she needed a place to live. She was always helping and connecting with her three siblings and often our summer holidays involved visiting them or having them at our house. She was incredibly thoughtful and now I aim to be a magical memory maker, like she was for our family.
(My mama always made homemade birthday cakes for me and then my boys birthdays.) 
✨ At the bottom of my mama’s treasure chest after all that gold, silver, shining words, and cloths of humility, I have found nuggets.
Not the nuggets that my boys like to talk about, but the nuggets that stick with you that you pass onto your children. Well, I guess in some way my boys did get their nuggets from me. My mom’s words about these specific topics still ring in my mind: marriage, parenting, the cycles of teaching, friendship and life.
💥 Only boring people are bored.
💥 Don’t share anything that’s negative with her (or anyone) about your marriage because they will remember and you may not tell them how you worked it out.
💥 Don’t be so hard on your oldest child.
💥 You are a great mother.
💥 Wash your hands before you eat.
💥 The same issues in teaching cycle around and around, just wait for it to correct itself.
💥Find friends who love the same things you do.
💥 Be a good person.
💥 Make your bed. (I have to admit that I still make my bed, but I really could care less if my boys make theirs.)
💥 It’s never too late to do anything. (My mama got her teaching degree in her late 40’s, took Spanish classes after my cousin moved to Spain and was cycling with a group in Mallorca, 90km per day, eight months before she died.)
💥 Make no excuses. Find a way to do what you want to do or ask for help. (I am not very good at asking for help, but I am working on that!)
💥 Be kind. Work hard. Make shit happen.
💜 MOM 💜
Her treasure box is open.
Feel free to take what landed on you today.
I thoroughly love all the treasures I have personally have been given and continue to discover.
Thank you God that light always prevails.
Always look for light, my friends! Even in the darkness, you will find a sliver.
This is my wish as we all celebrate Mother’s Day in our own way!
Take something from the treasure box of my mom’s life.
A golden heart.
Silver stature.
Shining smile.
Cloth of humility.
Nuggets. So many nuggets.
With gratitude for all the women in my life who have my mother’s loving, vibrant and thoughtful heart! I am blessed.
😘 Joanna
Be Learning from Animals and Children
One March day, I asked my boys to give me an animal. An animal I could draw! I didn’t know what I was asking at the time but it ended up creating deep conversation and insight about animals between my boys and I.
Here is how it unfolded in pictures drawn by moi in my day planner and the subsequent research that I did on the spiritual and biblical significance of each animal. The most divine aha for me was that every animal the boys suggested on each day met me exactly where I was at on that day! I wonder which animal will land on you today? May we all continue to be open to God around and within us.
May these words and imagines encourage you to be open to the divinity of children, the soulfulness of drawing and the power of words that tumble in our heads and out of our mouths.
Be free!
Be enough.
Show up as the animal you want to be today!
😘 Joanna
Be Knowing the Opposite of Love
I am a feelings girl.
I no longer apologize for this.
I feel things deeply.
I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me.
I know this.
Now, I harness this.
People are powerful.
We have emotions that fuel behaviour.
We have passions.
We have love!
In my personal journey that I entered into as I walked through the gift of grief, the loss of my mama, I saw love.
Pure love that no amount of pain could suppress.
One moment my mama would be writhing and the next moment my boys would walk through the door.
In that single moment, a smile would come on my mama’s face. Her eyes would open up and she would see them. She would hear them. She would be fully present and LOVING!
On this journey, I also learned the opposite of love and it wasn’t what I had thought.
During my four decades of life, I have surmised that the opposite of love was the feelings, thoughts and actions of hate. I realized the untruth of all of this.
The incongruency.
The inconsistency.
I witnessed people, people I dearly love, be silent.
Be unpresent.
Eyes closed.
Ears firmly shut.
I asked them “why” and implored them to tell me “What could I do differently?”.
I received no responses.
I had to sit with no answers.
And then the moment hit me that the opposite of love had never been hate.
Hate allows for discussion, emotion, action of some sort.
The opposite of love has never been hate.
It’s apathy.
The nothingness.
The unresponse.
Love and hate are actions.
Apathy is lethargy.
Action and apathy are opposite.
Apathy is meeting people to go sledding and one person decides to take a nap on the top of the ski hill. This is not love!
Apathy is inviting someone over for a two hour birthday party and they fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the party. (Note: The person is in their 30’s!). This is not love!
Apathy is talking to someone daily and seeing someone weekly and then never being invited over to their house again. They end up texting to tell you they are selling the house. This is not love!
Apathy is having your phone in front of your face when someone is trying to have a heartfelt conversation. This is not love!
Living in my gift of grief and my apathy examples, I implore you to be awake to love and aware of apathy.
Keep your eyes open.
Ears ready to hear.
Be present.
Be loving.
I am a feelings girl
Apathy is brutal!
I no longer apologize for this.
Nothingness is worse than hatred.
I feel things deeply.
I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me.
I know this.
Now I harness this.
I don’t spend time with apathetic people.
People are powerful.
If THEY choose to be!
Overflowing with love, with action and knowing it’s opposite. 💖
Lessons from a Super Nana who would be celebrating her 75th birthday this week! I love you Mama. 😘 Joanna
Be in Deep Knowing
In one moment, things can flip from flabbergasted to “aha I get it!” Today, that shift happened for me.
All week, I have been praying and setting the intention for ‘depth of insight’ on six things:
🏠 Our Home
😘 Sexy Neck, Steve
⛷ Apex Mountain
👱🏻♂️ My dad
🥛 My business
💥 My brand (how I want to show up in the world!)
Every day I have been writing at the top of my planner these goals for this week. Today, when I sat with my pen and planner, I realized that I wasn’t searching for depth of insight but more of a deep knowing. I wrote this down:
Then, in the next moment as I sat with my pen in my hand with my thoughts tumbling around my hamster brain, I decided to draw a lion. I drew this lion and then decided to google what the lion in the bible and spiritual realm represents. Can you guess?
DEEP KNOWLEDGE! 💥💥💥
Wise
Powerful
Fierce Guardian
Hearth of God
Be open to signs and wonders that show you that you are on your path.
Be open to flipping from flabbergasted in one ‘aha’ moment over words and a lion.
Be open to staying positive that your personal answers will come.
Be open to the still small voice that asks you to draw a lion.
Now, off to sit in this deep knowing with gratitude for this beautiful planner I get to write in every day. Thank you to my beautiful friend Miriam for giving it to me and for the amazing Vancouverite Danielle Laporte for creating this divine gift in my life.
😘 Joanna k
"Be" ENOUGH 