Tag Archives: joy

Be Finding Forward

Forward.

Moving not backwards.

Forwards.

Moving in a direction.

Which one will we choose?

Moving from the west to the east.

Finding the dance that takes you forward.

Into your dreams.

Into your spirit.

Into your spidey sense.

Presence.

How does one stay present?

Moving forward?

This is what I have learned and this is what propels me forward.

Taking peeks into the tiny, narrow, rear view mirror to pour gratitude into where I came from.

Gratitude.

Love.

Letting go.

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Looking straight-forward into my large, expansive windshield watching the exciting places I am going.

Joy.

Peace.

Light.

Eyes, wide open, looking for the gold thread of hope woven throughout my day.

Holding my empty hands of faith.

God’s goodness poured out over all our lives.

Into my hands.

Will we choose to look for it?

Will we choose to have open hands to receive it?

Moving forwards.

Dancing the dance of my life.

Trusting.

Fun.

Faith.

Forward.

Smooch, Joanna

Be Riding Nana’s Bike (Post about Joy!)

Lately have you felt that happiness that just flows out of you?

Your teeth seem whiter and brighter?

Your smile is larger than life?

Joy seeps out through every skin cell in your body?

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Last weekend, we decided to get the bikes ready for a ride to a local coffee shop.

We noticed Nana’s old bike in the back of garage from when our friend Sara used it last year.

We asked our oldest, JC, if he wanted to ride Nana’s bike.

The ride was PURE joy for him and it flowed through us all.

He loved the feeling of being up on Nana’s bike.

He was mesmerized with her gears.

We talked about all the different places that Nana used to ride her bike and how she would often just miraculously show up in our backyard for a ‘break’ and a drink of cold water.

Really we knew that Nana loved a destination and she loved seeing her people!

As we watched JC ride Nana’s bike, happiness flowed out of us all.

Our teeth seem were whiter and brighter.

Our smiles were larger than life?

Joy was seeping out through every skin cell in our bodies?

A perfect joy-filled precious moment.

Just being.

Enough.

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Be Saying Goodbye to Orange 

I am not sure what happened, but I am going with it.  

Yesterday, I decided to was done with our orange walls.  They served their purpose. They helped me wail and gave me a place to ‘put’ my grief.  

Here is the story of the orange walks.  

After celebrating my birthday, I knew my pain had turned to peace.  So, I picked up a brush and roller this morning and began to pain.  

   

I was able to talk to my boys about the  pain I felt when Nana died.  I told them that painting this wall orange helped me.   I told them I wanted to paint this wall white today because of the peace, love and joy that surrounds us now. 

Peace.  

Love.  

Joy. 

Now back to the wall to no longer wail but to have a whale of a time doing something my mom loved to do.   

  Thank you God for giving me perseverance to deal with my stuff and to have such a supportive partner.  

Be Filled with JOY

I think many people are quite curious about me in this season of grief and remembering wrapped up with Christmas.

Curious as to my state of mind.

Wondering how I am doing.

I think I may ‘appear’ to be too happy for some people in my life.

But I am here to tell you I am not happy about many things…and my life has nothing to do with happiness right now.

For me, joy comes with or without happiness.

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It hits me no matter my daily circumstance or season.

Joy is not from me, but a gift from God.

Gratitude, love, joy!

Flooding me, pouring out, flowing in.

It is nothing I am ‘doing’.

I am just ‘being’.

Being present with the people God has surrounded me with.

Allowing my sadness to hit me.

It is one year, less one day, since my mom’s death.

One more ‘first’ to live without mom.

In my sadness, I know JOY will be coming.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

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Leaning into Him through my struggles.

Thanking Him for ALL I am grateful for.

Watching JOY fill this season.

Merry ‘joy-filled’ Christmas to you and yours.

Be In Calm After The Storm

Mom is at hospice. She has had a very peaceful and restful day.

Awaiting arrival of Rea, Michelle, Craig, Sydney, Abby and more loved ones.

Mom is well loved.

Time for me to Be Still.

Be with mama soaking up her love, strength, peace.

There is no fear here as we sit just love and peace.

Time for me to Be Present.

Be with mama enjoying her soft skin, her beautiful smile and the light of her eyes.

Sit with my dad in his grief.

Retell old memories.

Create new ones.

Cry with my wee boys who know Nana is going to die.

Get a big hug from my big sister. She gives the best hugs.

Accept any and every hug so that I don’t float away in grief. Thanks to Neil and Steve for doing that for me today.

Sit with my big cousins. I adore them. Admire them greatly.

Soak in my aunts and uncles deep love for my parents.

Say thank you and I love you.

Lean on anyone left standing.

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Nana and I watching Wheel of Fortune and drinking cranberry juice. Well, I watch Nana and Nana is resting.

Peace. Love. Hugs.

Be Bike Riding in -10 degrees Celsuis

We’ve had a few hurdles to overcome lately! Do you get that impression?

One of our barriers to jump over has been our cars. More than once in the last few months, I have left my interior light on which has cause my battery to die. Just over a month ago, right before my mom’s surgery in Vancouver, my husband was in a car accident.

This morning we woke up with my husband’s car leaking fluid, probably related to the accident. He then was planning on taking my car, but my car had a dead battery! With stealth speed and a positive attitude, he managed to maneuver his car into position, jump my car and then get to work! Whew!

This left me to first bike ride JC to school, then down the other way to CC’s preschool and now back home. We will do everything in reverse in about an hour.

We did it all with a smile on our faces in the -10° weather.

Here are the boys ready to go:

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Here I am on the path to CC’s preschool. CC and OC are in the chariot bike trailer.

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All I could thing about as I rode was mom’s words as she walked out of the hospital yesterday and she breathed in the cool crisp air: “ahhhh, that feels good!” I agree Mom!

Be a Waffler

My husband’s grandfather has always amazed
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He is our navy man, computer savy, duct tape selling, all around incredibly loving and nice guy.

The first time I met Gramps it was around my future in-laws kitchen table, but a few times later I was invited over to Gramps and G.G.’s for breakfast.

Who was behind the kitchen counter? Gramps was, wearing his apron and his chef’s hat, oh how he loves to wear silly things. Gramps whipped up a batch of his waffles and even threw in a few eggs or two on the side. You could see the love pouring out of the bowl into the hot pan. You could hear the playful chatter between Gramps and his family. It was an amazing meal, the first of many.

Every weekend, we try to re-create Gramps’ ritual of waffle making. Who wouldn’t want to?

Waffles symbolize for me, such joy and an amazing time together as a family.

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Thanks Gramps for passing on this ritual to our family. Plus the maple syrup and peanut butter on top isn’t too bad either. (Yup, I said peanut butter!)