Well folks… it has taken slightly more than seven years and a weekend in a narrow hotel conference room to come to the realization about this blog and my life. These last seven years have been about feeling like I am never enough and the journey to be enough. Yup, all these post have been all about me trying to figure out what the f*** is going on from the inside out but my lense was focused from the outside in.
I was trying to figure out how to be enough, do enough and to truly find fulfilment and meaning while being enough.
But I was blowing in the wind.
By the season.
Without any reason!
Two and a half weeks ago, I was sitting in a hotel conference room at a weekend event with my nutritional company and incredible teammates. (And as you read this you will realize that my business is built on so much more than a brown box of super foods but the super foods were what got it all started three years ago.)
This weekend, for me, was about getting honest with who I really am and how I wanted to show up in the world every single day. The little sister, the high performance athlete, the mediocre student who wanted to be enough was going to be found that weekend and transformed from the inside out.
At the beginning of the weekend, I shared how I always felt bad. Really bad! Truly, feeling like I never could be enough to anyone nor myself. I spoke this out loud.
I was brave.
I dove all in.
I shared my journey.
Always trying to figure things out.
Well folks, I figured it out! The heavens parted and the light poured in. I saw this Vision Triad:
Three sides of a triangle and wham, I had figured it out.
My identity was broken and a burden to me! I hated myself and who I perceived myself to be through other people’s lenses. My vision and my purpose have always been strong and joy-filled with thinking about where I want to go with my life and why.
I am a wife to Sexy Neck and a mama of boys.
I am a jock.
I am a wordsmith who loves to play with words and record peoples stories.
I am a heartfelt friend who is very loyal.
I am a child of The Father.
I am a growth junkie.
I am business builder for the most integral health and wealth company in the world.
I am a guide in seeing people be set free.
I am a millionaire who is a reservoir and river of money.
BUT, why was I feeling held captive and why was I feeling bad all the time? I was missing my identity. The third corner of my triangle was a crumbled mess focused on broken relationships, performance, perfection, peoples words and never being able to be enough.
Cue angels signing.
Cue butterflies fluttering.
Cue laughing children.
Cue zoom shot to my face.
IDENTITY discovered! Yup, that’s what this smirk is about.
I found my fulfillment and meaning through many years of playing with words here with you alongside intentional growth all brought together in one weekend.
What MUST I do in my life? What MUST you do in yours?
I MUST be with Sexy Neck and my three boys creating magical memories and peaceful, joyful mundane moments.
I MUST express my energy with movement and set goals with a little bit of competition intertwined. Do you want to make a bet on it? Yup, always a competitive jock!
I MUST share my love of words, my teacher’s mind, my growing mama’s heart by sharing my stories and others.
I MUST surround myself with likeminded heartfelt friends who are honest and loyal
I MUST remember my ancestry, my scrolls and that I am a child of The Father.
I MUST always be growing.
I MUST always share mine and others transformational stories as a business builder for the most integral health and wealth company in the world. How is it possible the same systems can help people release a hundred pounds or gain twenty pounds in lean muscle mass? Yup, that is integrity.
I MUST help set captives free as I know this former prisoner life.
I MUST be a multi-millionaire who creates change in the world starting with our family, city, province and country.
I am a strong, kind, intelligent woman.
I am a shit disturber.
I am significant.
I am valuable to others.
I am standing.
I am grateful.
I am a lighthouse.
I am a Big Spirit.
Success is lovely and I am having the time of my life.
I am freeeeee!
I am enough!
The bathroom mirror at Cafe St. Germain told me too:
Thank you Rod, Ashley, my fellow Top 50 teammates and especially to Sexy Neck and my brood of boys for giving me grace and enthusiasm to be catapult me into exponential growth.
✨🙏🏻Glory to God who’s power in us is infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.
And that’s all folks. Til we meet again on the other side of being enough.
With gratitude for this journey with you. This isn’t goodbye, it’s a see ya later alligator.
Xoxo 😘 Joanna