Tag Archives: Sexy Neck

Aging, God, life, love, men, Wordsmith

Be Married for 26 Years

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May 3rd, 2023

Today is our 26th wedding anniversary plus two days of me being 49 years old. The best part is that Sexy Neck’s birthday is two days from now, yes it is a fun week of celebration, at least this is what we thought when we were university students on our semester ended in April and Steve was getting ready to head to the National Team.

When Sexy Neck and I got engaged in November of 1996 at the West Edmonton Mall we were talking about a possible wedding date. We thought it would be hilarious if May the 3rd fell on a Saturday in 1997 so that could be our wedding date! Well, God knew that our brains would think like that and yes, you guessed it, our wedding day was on Saturday, May 3rd, 1997.

Sidenote: Sexy Neck was going to propose at the top of the rollercoaster at WEM, but we ended up getting in a disagreement because I didn’t want to go on it. He ended up putting the personally-designed ring in an ice cream, which I thought was the sweetest thing ever! I was shocked.

May 1

May 3

May 5

The beginning of May is a week of celebration!

On top of thinking about the date in which we decided, or God decided, for us to be married, I have been reflecting on being married for more than a quarter of a century.

It’s all about “choice”!

Yup, choice.

Not sex, love, infatuation, coercing, settling, changing someone, manipulation… it’s simply about a personal choice made daily by each person in a marriage.

I remember in the pre-marriage counselling that we did before May 3rd, 1997, the counsellor talked about marriage as being about a “daily choice”. As I sit here today, I couldn’t agree more.

My personal choices that I think about often are:

  • Do I bring out the best or worst in my husband?
  • How do I listen and also feel heard?
  • How do I show love even when I don’t feel the emotion of love?
  • How do I support my husband’s personal life journey even when it adversely affects my own life?
  • Do I want to be my husband’s biggest cheerleader or the “bring him downer” in his life?
  • How can I share my needs and also consider my husband’s needs?
  • How do you live with someone who has very different standard of timelines and schedules? (We shared a computer when doing our Bachelor of Education degrees. It worked beautifully because I always finished my projects a week ahead of time and he did everything the night before. And guess who always beat me in the marks department, yup Steve! Probably because I always stayed up with him and proofread all of his work. HAHA)

Choice.

Love.

Partnership.

Best friend.

Marriage.

Choice.

26 years baby!

Have a wonderful Wednesday folks and love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

author, Wordsmith, writing

Be an Inner #Influencer

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#influencer

Who else has noticed the hashtag and word #influencer pop up all over social media?

It is everywhere, chosen by many people as the hashtag of 2019 to grow businesses and get their message out there. I am not buying the #influencer message and here is why: We need to be an #innerinfluencer and not just unconsciously digest the #influencer around us, with their edited pictures and image of the “perfect life”!

These are my three reoccurring thoughts about why we need to be an #innerinfluencer:

First, do you remember taping up posters of famous people on your physical walls and saving them on your computer desktop? It was dreamy. It was wondrous. It was also very fake! The pictures were staged. The smiles probably were too! And now with the invention of photo filters, everyone can have these pictures too! When you open a magazine or even a friend/acquaintance’s social media page, it is most likely filtered, photoshopped and staged just like the pros. Who knows if they had a fight with their husband two minutes before or are a million dollars in debt? The pictures won’t show or let us know what’s really going on.

It’s really doesn’t matter though, because in the 21st century YOU are the star of YOUR life. Go on a journey to look at your own unique gifts and talents. Look back to your childhood and when you were free and hanging up those posters of Ricky Schroeder or Backstreet Boys. What did you truly love to do and what did you want to be? This will be the greatest influence in your life. Be an #innerinfluencer. We can no longer allow ourselves to be influenced by magazine pictures and social media posts by celebrities or friends, it truly is only an illusion.

Second, do we really know the lives of the people that are calling themselves #influencer and do we want to have them influencing our lives? I was truly shocked to hear about the divorce of the Bezos. (He is the CEO of Amazon and they had build their business together.)

I have seen the power of outside influencers over and over in education where one child and even one word from another child can shift the personality and culture of individual children and an entire classroom. For example, just this year, one of my boys walked away from a beautiful friendship. This friend of my son’s is a heart-centred, kind and so much fun. My son and I have watched this boy become mean and moody because of the influence of another student in the class. My son lovingly created space and allowed his #innerinfluence to guide him. He walked away from this friendship. This is the greatest lesson my son has had with friendship in his short life and it has been a gift.

Take time to know the people who have influence in your life. Ask yourself three hard questions: Are you allowing yourself to be influenced by people who have your values and desires? Are you choosing to be influenced by people who mirror who you are and where you want to go? Can we really know these things about people not in our inner circle? Boom shakalaka. Three hard but very important questions to ask about influence. Here they are again:

1️⃣ Are you allowing yourself to be influenced by people who have your values and desires?

2️⃣ Are you choosing to be influenced by people who mirror who you are and where you want to go?

3️⃣ Can we really know these things about people not in our inner circle?

Lastly, the greatest influencers in my life don’t even participate in social media. Where do your greatest influencers exist? My influencers are my Sexy Neck, my three boys, my mother in heaven, my Heavenly Father, and a circle of friends that share their lives with me. I love the music of many musicians. I love the acting of many actors. I love the athleticism of professional athletes. I am inspired by many social media personalities with their beautiful quotes and pictures. BUT, rarely do I allow this group of people, unless I know them personally, to influence my life. I choose to be an #innerinfluencer, leaning into my gifts and talents, looking at where I need to grow and living as a human “being” with my tribe every day of my life.

I believe we are living in a world where reality is shifting, what we see is not really the way things are. The reality is the prettiest pictures and the slickest words get the greatest amount of attention, if we choose to pay attention. I want to encourage each of us that read these words to be looking outside with eyes open wide and looking within with hearts open wide.

You are a unique human being. There is truly no single human being in the world that is just like you.

May my words be an #influencer for you to look within as an #innerinfluencer because this is where the juicy dreams live in the 21st century.

😘 Joanna

author, blogger, Grief, Wordsmith, writing

Be Learning Life Lessons from a Lab

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I was a cat girl growing up. Now, I am a lab girl for life!

I loved cats independence. Loved their gentle purrs and how they would sleep with you in the most obscure ways. My cat, Boots, loved sleeping right on top of my neck or chest.

Enter in Sexy Neck into my life in 1992 with a visit to his family home which was definitely a dog family. Their little dog, Mandy, was a sweetie. Someone to walk with, someone to greet you happily every single time you walked in the door and a great companion for everyone.

This cat girl growing up didn’t stand a chance! Nineteen years ago, I became a dog person, more specifically a Labrador retriever girl. My life would never be the same!

Over these years, I have had the privilege to learn from our two labs, KT and Summer. These are the specific lessons from Summer as this was a very Holy day celebrating her life.

💫 LIFE LESSONS FROM A LAB 💫

💫 Enjoy all the seasons, especially winter. Rolling around and sliding down slight inclines on your side is especially fun!

💫 Wag your tail at everyone but bark at the mailman.

💫 Always be on the lookout for food. You never know what you will find. Even things that you need to lick off the pavement are enjoyable.

💫 Be a baby watcher. Stand as close as you can with your wet nose on the baby blanket. Diapers are the best things to smell on babies. (We called Summer our “Nanny dog”.)

💫 Pour out love to the humans CLOSEST to you. Always be happy to see them. Always greet them at the door. Always look up to them with adoring eyes, especially when they have treats for you.

💫 Love children. All children. Always love those children that will rub your ears, your belly and play fetch with you.

💫 Take your master cross country skiing at all hours of the day. Be their companion and confidante listening to all their stories. Don’t get stuck in the powder!

💫 Be content being with, playing with and taking care of your core group of people. It’s the simple things.

💫 You are never too big to cuddle or have your ears and belly rubbed.

💫 Don’t leave the food you like unattended on the table. It might disappear! (This is a lesson from my boys: Nine and eleven year old. This is something Summer just started doing last year, which was ironic because her arthritis was so bad that we had to lift her into the car. That piece of toast on the table, though, no problem!)

💫 Don’t trust strange dogs.

💫 Be present

💫 A little mess doesn’t matter.

💫 The stuff you leave behind is meaningless. It’s the memories, the cuddles, the smells and the moments that create a MAGICAL life!

🙏🏻 LIFE LESSONS FROM A LAB 😘

Magical memories with this puppy: swimming, always being happy to see us, chasing golf balls, cross country skiing, eating every crumb off our floors, shedding a small dog every day, being my comfort and companion, witnessing the birth of all three of our boys…

Thank you faithful friend. Thank you for the life lessons that I will take with me for the rest of my life. I will miss you every day!

February 5th 10:28am 💜 Summer 🙏🏻

author, Family

Be Celebrating

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Cancer teaches you how to celebrate.

Each drink of water.

Every step from the bed to the couch.

Celebrating a rub on my hand.

A nuzzle.

A twinkle in her eye.

A smile and a kiss from her lips.

Yes, cancer is the great teacher of celebration!

I have learned the lesson well.

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Now I celebrate each conversation.

Send a card to celebrate a landmark in people’s lives.

Every night when my boys lie down to bed, I celebrate their days with them, nuzzle their necks, show them my twinkle for them and leave them with a smile and a kiss.

This last Saturday, we celebrated.

As a couple, as a family and as a business team!

Reaching a “Crystal” position.

We have put ourselves out there to share solutions we love.

Solutions around energy, performance, weight loss, healthy aging and wealth creation.

Solutions we believe can change lives.

Starting with us!

My boys told me that I am skinnier, kinder and that I have less vibration in my tummy!

My Sexy Neck told me that he can see my determination to reach my goals of helping people and that this is happening!

My CC told me that my pouchee tummy is gone!

I celebrate that I have something to give to the world!

I am no longer striving, I am just being.

Being me.

Doing what I love every day.

Connecting.

Coaching.

Conversing.

Being authentic.

Allowing people to be.

Celebrating!

Life!

Being!

Me!

Being who I have always dreamed that I could be!

 

 

 

 

author, blogger, Book, words, writing

Be Editing Your Own Words 

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Do you remember the day that your family got their first cordless phone?

I sure do!

I remember holding the cordless phone up to my ear and then walking to the phone with a cord that was hanging in the hallway.

I remember speaking, singing and laughter into one phone while I listened with the other.  

I remember hearing the sound of my voice for the very first time.

It was crazy!

Wild. 

Weird.  

Blew my mind. 

Now, as I read the words that I spent many months writing for my “Be Enough” book, I have the same thoughts flowing through my mind.

Crazy. 

Wild.  

Weird. 

Blowing my mind. 


I actually can’t believe that I wrote some of the things that I did.  Sexy Neck assures me that it is like taking a walk within my mind as he reads what I’ve written.

Full of gratude.  

Humbled by my experiences. 

Feeling loved for those who have leaned in. 

Excited to share my love of words that flow out of every part of who I am. 

Back to editing in bed.  

Back to listening to my own voice for the very first time.  

Family, God, Parenting

Be Introducing Sexy Neck

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This is Sexy Neck, aka Steve, one year before we got married. (1996)

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We met playing volleyball, living 785 kilometres apart, then dated long distance for four and a half years living 298 kilometres apart.  We had never lived in the same city until we got engaged.

Sexy Neck is first and foremost kind. Also very athletic.  Intelligent. Loves God.   Witty.  Sexy.   Artistic (most people don’t know he can draw and learned to play guitar by ear).  Hardworking.  Dog lover.  Gardener.    Handy.   He’s an idea guy.    I think he tells me about a new idea every day!

And he is incredibly “cool”.  He loved taking “Selfie’s” before selfies were selfies.

Here we are back in 1996!

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Full of gratitude for this man.

His strong shoulders.

The love for his boys.

His passion and care for me.

Sexy Neck,  are you blushing?

P.S. We ran into a friend’s mom that we had never met before, but she had been reading the blog.  She giggled when she saw Steve, called him Sexy Neck then asked to see his neck.  It was one of the sweetest moments in our new neighbourhood with an old volleyball friend’s mom!

Christianity, Jesus Christ

Be on a Rock

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My life currently feels like I have been living in a shaker of sand and it has all been turned upside down.

Emotionally things are tenuous as I have always been prone to exaggeration and extreme emotions, just ask Sexy Neck. The greatest thing about your Expectations being spilled out all over the earth you get to see what and who matters in life.

I am blessed with a few supportive and minimally judgmental parents and friends.

I am also blessed with good books to spur me on. The first and foremost for me is the bible, checkout Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Did you notice that word ‘enough’?

The other two books that are encouraging me right now are “Daring Greatly” and a book by John Bevere. You will have go google the title because I think it is a horrible title and doesn’t justify this great book about offense.

Here is what a read today from page 82.

“God showed my wife, Lisa, five purposes for shaking an object:
1. To bring it closer to it’s foundation.
2. To remove what is dead.
3. To harvest what is ripe.
4. To awaken.
5. To unify or mix together so it can no longer be separated.”

I found these 5 purposes oddly encouraging as I thought about my life and watched my sons playing on the rocks.

(Picture to come!)

Lord, my life feels like I am crawling along the rocks, but I know that You are my rock.

rockcrawling