Category Archives: life

Be Awake 

Awake.  

The world around me sleeps. 

Calm, rhythmic breathing, like a heartbeat.  

Steady.  

Predictable.  

Breath.  

Awake. 

Pondering the dying.  

Their raspy, grasping breath, like a tight fist holding on.  

Wavelike. 

Unpredictable.  

Breath. 
Awake.  

Allowing my thoughts to tumble.  

My thoughts to jumble. 

My heart to mumble.   

Mumbo jumbo. 

Awake.  

Allowing myself to be, just as I am.  

Awake.  

Open. 

Pondering.  

Unafraid to feel. 

Deeply.  

Awake.  

Alive.  

Outside in. 

Coming out of the fog of oversaturated information from the world around me. 

Going within. 

Fully alive and awake to what is happening around me.  

Living inside out.  

Rightside up.  

Standing strong. 

Weak in the knees.  

Pondering a future on earth without one of my role models, my overcomers, my heros! 

Awake.   

Steady.  

Feeling.  

Inside out. 

Facing forward.   

Looking into the unknown.  

Be Having a New View 

When do you feel your knees shake or your mouth turn to sandpaper?  What makes your mind spin with emotionally charged random thoughts? 

For me, up until today, it was that building with the gigantic H on the top of it. Yessiree Bob, the hospital. 

Knee shaking. 

Sandpaper mouth. 

Mind blowing. 

Emotional muscle building hospital. 

I walked through seven years, um I mean days, of hospital time with my mom exactly three and a half years ago. If you followed my blog back then you know this meant pain, excruciating pain, worried nurses who thought they were going to kill my mom with pain meds, a stolen chair, sleeping on said chair and a final ambulance ride in the snow with my mama to the incredible hospice house. 

Hell 

Healing.  

Stretching. 

Restoring. 


Today, I walked into the hospital to see another dearly beloved family member.  I didn’t want to go, but my peeps are so much more important than any discomfort that I may feel.  I put on my armour, remembered what I learned in my last journey and walked through the doors.  

Walked through the doors with a “New View”, knowing that I had experiences that could help, a story that could support others and the keen sense to find tea, be in the right place at the right time and know the questions to ask when that magic right time happens. 

Shit, I have learned something and grown into it!  

I walked through the valley of he shadow of death, embraced it, rowed the waves of grief through it and now I can see the sun! I can see hope!  I can see a completely New View.  

Standing strong. 

Calm, steady words. 

Mind calming. 

Emotional muscle built hospital. 

The gift of grief keeps on giving and will for the rest of my life. My mom’s life and death had been one of my greatest teachers.  It brought me to my knees and helped me learn to stand.  Let this five all my fellow grief journeyers hope.  

Standing in my truth. 

With my experience. 

Soaring in my gifts. 

With my journey. 

Soaking in my New View. 


With love and gratitude for all that I can do and share. This post is dedicated to a beautiful couple who are our role models and the hospital that is supporting them in their journey. 

Be You/Do You 

Yup, do you!  

Two words that I heard a few weeks ago and they have been spiralling around in my brain like a bad swear word that you wouldn’t want to say in front of your mom.  It kind of sounds dirty but it was profound for me. 

I realized, in a light bulb moment that, I am doing so many other people in my daily life that I am forgetting to ‘do me’! 

Nothing like a good sexual innuendo, isn’t there!  

But, you know me and my fairly open-minded conservative diatribes, so what in the world am I talking about. 


What I am actually talking about is the beautiful metaphor of putting the oxygen mask on yourself before helping those around you.  

As I walk through my life I literally see people running out of air.  I watch them rush to drop off their children at school. Rush to pick them up.  Rush to activities.  Rush to make dinner.  I think you can see the ‘rush’ I am showing you.  This ain’t one of those good ‘rushes’, if you know what I mean!  They are holding their breathes through life, like I have the last few weeks.  

So, what am I suggesting that we do with this naughty analogy? 

🥇 First, stop doing everyone else.  Look around at the people in your life, look at your “to-do” list that you are creating on a daily basis and ask yourself “How many of these things on the list do I want to do?”  

🥈 Second, find a way to ‘do you’.  

Be you.  

From within you and then out to others.   

What pleases you? 

What do you enjoy? 

Doing you. 

How did I figure out how to live this “Do you” philosophy in life? Because really inspiring quotes and words are only great when we create some ‘action’ to go along with them.  Right?  Here’s what I did: 

I looked at the ambiance I wanted to create in my everyday life: I realized that I like having music playing while I make dinner and a candle lit when I am on Zoom calls for my nutritional coaching.  

I wondered about who I do in my life: I saw that I am able to have authentic, real and beautiful relationships without shame. I don’t have to stroll down the ‘walk of shame’ no matter what happens!  That shame thing was old stuff for me.  

Lastly, I looked at my assets and what I could give to the world: I realized I was giving away my greatest gift like a floozy, my time. I can choose what I want to do with my day and what I want to wear while doing it.  I am 100% responsible for my greatest asset, time.  I have started to treasure, organize and find freedom with my 86,400 seconds each day (and not be so free in throwing it away to anyone that walks by.) 

Ambiance. 

Relationships. 

Assets.  

How to ‘do you’! 

What are three simple things you could think of to ‘Be You/Do You’? I know it will be simple.  It may even be fun along the way.  Ponder all the energy and vitality you will have to share if you ‘do you’ first.  

No one else. 

100% you.  

Just you.  

Getting to know you.  

All day long. 

Do you! 

Be Living Reality 

Ask anyone I taught with, I was a reality tv junky. 

Addicted? 

Probably! 

The Bachelor.  

Big Brother.  

American Idol.  

Survivor. 

At the schools I worked at, I used to organize Survivor Pools where we each would ‘be’ a character and we would see who would be the ‘Sole Survivor’! 

Hours upon hours of reality tv, where my week would be organized around the specific day and hour the show would be on. 

Survivor was Thursdays.  

8:00pm. 

5:00pm if you had an eastern channel!

I loved it when my mom moved to town because she had that eastern time zone channel. 

Yup, imagine revolving your whole week around a reality tv show?  I did it!  Yes, I did! 

When my oldest, who is now nine, was four months old, I knew I had a wake-up call from tv land and I realized I had to make a decision.  

I had just started maternity leave and was home full time with JC!  I was moving from an incredible, full 14 hour days as a teacher, to home and my Reality tv land.  Can you see where I was going?

I knew I had to make a choice: watch reality from the couch or live it everywhere I went.   We decided to live it.  We stopped paying for cable television.  We started being intentional about what and when we wanted to watch tv shows on the Internet or via DVD’s.  We saw less commercials.  Our boys have rarely seen a commercial in their lives and often find them annoyingly interrupting to what they are watching.  

(Sidenote: The constant Oil of Olay commercials on the children’s network, Treehouse, also persuaded me to cut cable. Did I want my boys to think that women’s faces looked like that?)

Now, I live in reality every day with my brood of boys.  

I live it everywhere I go.  

Television shows and movies are rare. 

Connecting with others and creating space to be is happening every day. 

I have space to let my mind meander.  

I have nothing ‘pulling’ me away from my vision of what I want my daily reality to look like.  

My living ‘reality’ involves copious amounts of food in somewhat strange combinations, refereeing wrestling matches, going off the beaten path and lots of high energy activities.  That sounds exactly like reality tv, doesn’t it? 

Survivor anyone? Who will be the sole survivor?  Some days it’s me!

Big Brother? Me and my houseful of boys.  


Really real. 

Living life.  

Awake.  

Aware. 

Alive.  

Perfectly imperfect.  

Being me.  

In my reality.  

Hmmmm…. maybe it’s time to get rid of Facebook?  But that’s really real, isn’t it? 😂

Be Wondering About Writing

As I wonder and wander through my daily life and hangout with my peeps, many of you have asked, “What are you going to be writing next?”

A few of you might now be wondering, “What do you mean next? What happened to the book that I have been editing for the last year?”  Well this happened:

i-am-free-book

I decided that this beautiful book about finding freedom on the inside and outside as a human being was just for ME!  And here is the book cover:

i-am-free-book-cover

Yup, it took me slightly over a year to edit and I decided to put this little baby into the filing cabinet.  And I feel free!  It was just for me.  It has been an incredible year of growth and seeing it written on the pages of a book over twelve chapters has been humbling and freeing!  I released it into the filing cabinet and for the last two weeks I have been wondering what WILL I be writing next?

I write every morning to pray and meditate over.  I write to hold and create my vision.   I write to pour out from within.  I allow my words to come out from pen to paper without judgement and without stopping.  It just flows from within, uninhibited, flowing wherever it wants to go.  I write to edify others.  I write to pour out inspiration on facebook.  I write because words do matter, they are the sword of the spirit.  They come from within and wield power.  My sword is covered with white chocolate and is meant to be sweet and easy to savour.  I pray my words always fill the sweet spot in your soul!

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Now what am I going to write, I wondered? And then I remembered these beautiful journals!  Letters to my boys that I started writing when I was pregnant with each of them.  Letters that I wrote daily or weekly about what I was observing as I have the privilege to watch them grow.  Writing between a mama and her boys, from my heart to theirs.  I stopped writing when my mom was living with cancer and since 2013 these journals have moved homes and sat in a cupboard.   And now as I have been set free from the book I completed, I am now going back to my boys.  Backwards to move forward.  Slowing down to speed up.  Writing to them, for them and with them as I watch them grow!

If writing isn’t your thing, what will you wonder about and where will it take you?

Wonder.

As you wander.

Be a human being.

Be present.

Be awake.

Be.

Enough.

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Be Doing Imperfectly Great Things

Striving to be “perfect”?

Without flaws.

Without mistakes.

Living the perfect life.

Making the perfect decisions.

Constantly striving to live in a state of “being” perfect!

Are you exhausted just reading that?

I feel fatigued just writing it as I think about my former mindset and my former decision-making process.

I am now striving to do imperfectly GREAT things.

Just doing the do.

Writing.

Talking.

Loving.

Being.

Present to whatever comes my way and knowing that I will NEVER be free from flaws nor mistakes, but I have a depth of spirit that will allow me to apologize and change course as needed!  I am easily adaptable because of the grace that I am constantly given and the grace that I can give others.  I know that great things come out of just being present and imperfect.

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Tuesday and Thursday mornings are the time when I have all three boys in school. I fill my time with a bit of exercise, writing, and connecting with people.

This morning, I awoke to one sick, JC, my current sidekick for the day!

Previously, I would feel deep anguish over the plans for my day having to be adjusted.  I would feel stress in my shoulders and a turning in my tummy as I pondered how to make the day work.

Today, I felt InCrEdIbLe! An opportunity to hangout with my oldest.  My “to do” list was thrown out into the abyss to be pondered for another day.   I love being able to spend time with each of my boys together and individually.  My “doing” can always wait, but my “being” is the greatest gift that I can give to myself and others.

Being present.

Doing great things.

Through the imperfections of life.

With flaws.

With mistakes.

Loving.

Being.

(Toque courtesy of UofAlberta Alumni!  Huge hugs going out to my UofA Panda Alumni that are celebrating the retiring Panda volleyball players this Saturday and are hosting an Alumni auction in Edmonton, Ab. Drop in and bid on something if you are close to the game!)

Be a Super Nova 

One more peruse of facebook as I lay my head down on the pillow.  

One scroll. 

One glimpse. 

With shock and awe I read this incredible comment from Jodi who has just finished my book.  She told me she had to share this quote as it reminded her of me: 

  
For any fellow human being to take the time to send me a quote, I am honoured. 

I have had three beautiful peeps forward “word love” my way this week! 

The greatest gift we can give each other is time.  

Time to shine light.  

Time to share inspiration. 

Time to share words. 

Time to be our sparkly star-shaped selves. 

Time to pray and sit holding space with each other. 

Time to embrace our ridiculous awesomeness. 

Time to shine like a freaking supernova. 

Love a duck! 

A supernova. 

Me? 

Gotta love the “facebook love” as you lay your head down to sleep. 

life, 

Be Miraculously Meditating

I have begun a miraculous journey in my mind.

Led by many loving, successful mentors.

Meditation.

What does this word conjure up for you?

I never thought I would be doing it!

For me?

It is allowing my thoughts to come and go, but always trying to come back to the present moment

To being.

To breathe.

Have you ever tried this before?

WOAH!  I can see why successful human beings have this as part of their morning routine.

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November 2nd, 2015, I began a journey with Oprah and Deepak Chopra at the helm, leading the way as I declutter my mind and look at my beliefs.   This short twenty minute intentional “mind” time, is definitely getting some of the cobwebs from the corners shaken off.   My mind feels lighter and simpler.  The thoughts no longer zing around, they are down to a slow zap!

My body is the healthiest it has ever been and now my mind appears to be moving into the same direction.

Health.

Mindfulness.

Being.

Present.

Meditation.

Being.

Me.

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Be Giving Leftovers Away

I am wondering why we always give our families “leftovers”.

Our best selves are often given to those people we work with, see at the gym or in the line-up at the grocery store.

We smile.

Say a friendly hello.

Display consistent kindness and consideration.

We rarely raise our voices or yell in our workplace.

But, when we are at home, a different menu is being served.

The ‘leftovers” go to our families.

These lovely people that we have given birth to or have given birth to us.

Those people that we are placed on a family tree with.

Yup, those ones.

Can’t just erase a name off of there, can we?

The ones that get our grumpiest selves and our often complaining selves.

Those same ones that we show our ‘true’ colours to.

The ones we ignore, avoid and can’t say one kind word to or pretend to say kind words to, but it is meaningless.

The ones that we visit with and then nap for one hour on the sofa.

My journey, as I have watched my family of origin evolve over almost two years since my mom’s death, is that it is no longer okay to give my brood of boys my leftovers.

I want my family to know me the best.

My boys will get my best self.

I will give them the most smiles, the friendliest eyes and the kindest words.

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My family.

The one I chose.

Sexy Neck.

The boys I birthed.

JC, OC and CC.

8, 6, 4.

My brood of boys.

My best self.

All of my love.

All of my life.

Allowing space for them to be themselves.

Allowing myself to be me.

The full meal deal.

Me.

Be Watching Time… Tick Tock Tick

Is time rushing by you?

Do you fee the years slipping through your fingers?

What do you think and feel about time?

I have been reading a book called “The Big Leap” and his premise is that “time is not a pressure from outside, that we can make as much time as we need.”   As I read this last night, it was a profound moment.  The examples that he had in the book as well as his thorough explanation on time made me take off my Ironman Timex watch for the first time since I was a pre-teen.

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The gloves are out.

The watch is off.

I am taking my time back.

Getting rid of the words, “I don’t have time….”

I am going on a diet recommended by Gay Hendricks of “No complaints about time!”

Feel free to join me on my diet or help me with ridding myself of those words above.

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Tick.

Tock.

Tick.