Tag Archives: heaven

Be Keeping SH*T Real

There is a pervasive message in our culture that is saying “stay positive”, “think positive”, shift your mindset to be more positive and everything will be AWESOME!

Those that know me, know that I do have a positive mindset, but I did not, I repeat, I DID NOT, get there by being positive all the flipping time.

Rails and Trails, 2018

Let me tell you a little story about these three geniuses above:

My boys were 7,4 and 2 years old when my mom was dying. This grief experience would become the greatest gift that our family has been given! Plus, isn’t it amazing to know that we all having the incredible Nana waiting for us in heaven. When we were given this gift of grief, I spoke with my counselor, a tremendous amount, about how we grieve as human beings She taught me, and my children showed me, that the very best grievers are actually children. What they do is feel things very deeply, stay in each moment and move in and out of grief very quickly. This was exactly our experience. They would see or remember something from Nana, wham, the tears would come. Then they would see their favourite LEGO and wham, they are smiling and playing again. My counselor taught me that the best thing I could do for them, and myself, was to sit with them in their grief, feel things with them and wait for them to shift or helps them slowing shift after being present with them. Rarely, did I need to do anything but merely sit and be present with them.

Imagine this same grief journey, if I constantly put on a positive face, ignored their feelings and told them to be positive. “Just be positive” said over and over and over again.  In a child’s world, this would be completely invalidating their feelings and not give them the permission to feel or grieve. I wonder what counselling they would need later in life to get over not feeling the feelings they had during this time?  

This year is going to be our fifth Christmas without my marvellous mama and I must admit that I have become an expert at negotiating grief. I sit with myself. I feel things deeply and then gently move myself when I know I am ready.  I cried in the pool this morning while swimming lengths. I feel the feelings, I let the tears flow. 

Germany, 2003
Robyn’s wedding, 1998

I am blessed because I can now see and sense this grief process working in others and I easily give them space to move through the process. We do this often with relationships, situations, and even with our food.  I can see people giving themselves lashes for not being positive enough or at all.  I can see people trying so hard. 

This brings me back to the positive rah rah that is overpowering our culture.  I WANT TO BE A PERMISSION BEARER.  As I observe and grow a business in this culture of a constant positivity, my message has clearly become “keep sh*t real”. The more honest my customers can be with me, the more I can walk with them. The more we can sit with each other in the real sh*t that exists in this world, the more we can move each other into positive places. We have to sit together, listen together and then move!

Feel the feels. 

Sit in them. 

Then look, seek and find solutions and that positive place. 

When you look around and feel like sh*t because you aren’t positive enough, pretty enough, doing enough or…. <insert what it is for you here>… keep it real and sit with your sh*t. And realise that when I look around and see the pervasive positivism overwhelming my feed, it’s usually being put out into the world by men, young couples or empty nesters. You don’t often seen mom’s waking up to puking kids or having to put every single thing they had planned that day on hold because of a child with a fever, spewing the positivity message 24/7.

It’s about keeping sh*t real. Finding a way to keep taking one step forward every day towards where you want to go. Surrounding yourself with people who will cheer you on and be positive even when you have spit up on your shoulder and haven’t combed your hair.  Find that tribe that keep things real and can be positive when you can’t be.  

If you aren’t feeling that you are good enough, positive enough or that you are doing enough, STOP that sh*t.  Remember my lessons from grief that my boys taught me.  

God has given you many talents that you may not be able to see right now.

That’s okay.

God is taking you through a season that is going to give you great strength.

That’s amazing.

God is going to reveal everything to you in EXACTLY the right time.

That’s incredible.

BUT, life isn’t always okay, amazing or incredible.

But you “Cann”: 

Always hold hope.

Always brings peace.

Always hold love.

Always keep sh*t real.

Even when the positivity police try to overtake you.

Learn from my greatest teachers, my boys, in this upcoming season.

Sit exactly where you are.

Feel things deeply.

Move when you are ready.

Always hold hope.

Always bring peace.

Always hold love.

Always keep sh*t real.

😘 Joanna Cann

Be Seeing Green!

We went to visit Papa.

We saw one of these:

images (6)

But it was green.

It was the exact green transport ambulance that brought my mom from the hospital to hospice house last Christmas.

And what did my three year old say as we drove by this green transport ambulance:

“Mom, look! An ambulance! We can tell it to go to heaven, get Nana and take her to Papa’s house!” 

I wish son!  I wish!

My three year old thinks an ambulance took Nana to heaven.

He now calls my parent’s house, Papa’s house.

He wants to bring Nana back to Papa too!

Me too, son! Me too!

In sadness.

With gratitude for these moments with my boys.

Goodnight!

Be Hearing Night Night from Nana

I looked out the car window and saw the sun setting through the cloud. I exclaimed, “A slice of heaven!”

Almost three year old OC said, “Nana in heaven!”

Then we had a family discussion on what being dead means.

OC piped up, “Nana talk to me.”

Our seven year old added, “She talks to me too!”

I asked them what does she say.

OC said, “Night night. From her house in heaven.”

Enough said.

Night night everyone. 20140725-212805-77285465.jpg

Be Wanting To Call Papa and Nana

Here’s the conversation we had when two year old OC told me he wanted to call Papa and then Nana on the telephone. Papa was up cross country skiing, so I knew he was out of cell range. My dear, ever-present mom died on Boxing Day.

OC, who do you want to talk to on the phone? (YouTube video link!)

Sweet child working out his sadness of why he can’t call his Nana. These are his very own words.

I was Surprised!

I was humbled!

I am amazed!

Be A Golf Camper

I love the order of golf.   The manicured lawns (Don’t want to think about how they get that way!), the beautifully placed flowers, the nicely layed out sand traps (at least when you aren’t playing.) and the friendly atmosphere like you are part of one big “Club”.

P1010038

Our oldest got a taste of golf course life this week as he did a three day mini-camp at a local golf resort.  He loved hitting his “big dog”, riding in the cart and the ice cooler with cold water on the side.  Amazing!

In the “Easy Guide to the Etiquette and Rules of Golf” that my son got on the first day, it states that you introduce yourself on the first tee AND when you finish playing you thank them for their company and shake their hand.  Plus they don’t allow cell phone on the golf course.  Can you imagine that skills and conversations that these players are able to have without any distractions from technology?

P1010043

While JC was at camp, I have had the opportunity to walk around with CC and OC.  We have had a relaxing time.  First, it is so peaceful.  No cars within the pathways surrounding the golf course, just my feet pounding along the path.  Second, we have seen amazing wildlife: birds, butterflies, marmots, ducks and even a few turtles came to say hello.

P1010044

P1010049

We eagerly awaited JC’s return from the practice range.

P1010052

The little brothers were very excited to see him pull up in the golf cart, especially when it was the hockey cart!

P1010053

Be Wearing High Heels in Heaven

I love high heels! Love. Love. Love. 

They make women look so elegant, almost like they are floating down the street. 

The legs of high heeled women look a mile long.

Women’s feet in high heels look dainty and small no matter the size of the feet.

I hate how high heels feel.  THEY HURT! 

Recently, I went shoe shopping to replace the two shoes on the left:

Image

I tried on a few pairs of high heels, and I think I am going to have to save my high heel wearing days for heaven.  

This six foot tall girl can’t squeeze her size nine feet into high heels without pain in her feet, legs and I am sure one day, my neck.  Plus, how do you walk in them and look elegant instead of a giraffe waiting to topple over?  

So, I will stick with my two new pairs of shoes on the right, my “sensible” shoes I will call them.   

Be A Declutterer

I read in the Four Hour Work Week that we only use twenty percent of the things that we have.  Actually Tim Ferriss has an interesting perspective on the 80 20 rule.  Check him out:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_4-Hour_Workweek

The last three weeks, I have spent decluttering and going through our stuff so that we can put our house up for sale.

Here are the results:

ImageImageImage

These are the main “kid” areas of our house and they were overflowing with toys.  There were toys on top of shelves, stuffed into corners.  Now everything has a place to go.  We had a great morning of playing and it was amazing to see my boys putting things back into their places (without being asked)!

All this decluttering makes me thinking of the verse in Matthew 16:19 where Jesus says: “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”  

I want to hold loosely to my stuff on earth because it is only “stuff”.

It is the people in my life that truly matter.  JC running into my arms after Kindergarten with a huge smile.  CC giving me his little smirk as he tells me a joke and baby OC’s squawk as he yells from the top of the bunkbed. Sexy Necks presence as he holds us all together!

Beautiful moments.

 

P.S. Don’t ask me to show you our parents basement where alot of this “stuff” has gone.  I am thinking we should just have a garage sale instead of moving it.  Cann boys, what do you think?

Be Letting Go

Tis the Season of Rushing… I am starting to feel things rev up inside of me as the calendar becomes packed up and the to-do-list gets longer.

Thank God for the insight of children.

We were playing at the playground last week and JC looked across the lake and exclaimed: “There is a piece of heaven!” Here is the photo I took of what JC was looking at:

Image

Amid the storm that often brews for people during this season, the light of God shines through.

I am definitely in the eye of a storm. I need to keep focused on His light and His love and His ways.

Tomorrow is week two of living 60 kilometres down the lake. When our family of five was staying in this lovely basement suite beside the vineyard, I felt calm and relaxed. But this weekend, we stepped back into our life and I feel confused trying to figure “things” out and I feel ‘harried’.

I am reminded of a saying that I heard when I first became a Christian because I definitely can’t figure this one out.

“Let Go and Let God.”