It was snowing this morning when I woke up. 🌨
It was cold.
I lifted my head off the warm pillow, put on my work out clothes and headed out the door.
Gloves and toques on.
(Sidenote: sending love to Joan and Christina this morning💜)
And then I ran.
On the road, around the trails, under the ski lift.
I ran to work things out this Thanksgiving weekend. 🍗
I work out as much for my body as for my mind.
I have encountered grief many times in my life through friendships lost, moving, injuries, and the loss of my beautiful mama.
I have watched people journey through grief during the process of divorce, their children aging, losing a job, gaining weight, not getting a contract and even not meeting a business goal.
Grief is a daily journey. It is a daily gift to take us to a deeper place as human beings.
In this grief that I have felt and witnessed through others, I see that we have FOUR choices, daily, sometimes moment by moment choices:
1. First, we can numb ourselves with an outside substances or activity. I tried nightly alcoholic drinks for awhile after my mom died, my greatest grief journey, but this just numbed me even more, so now I rarely drink. If what you are doing is not allowing you to feel, then consider taking a break from the substance or activity. I take rest days now in my workout weeks, thank you Coach Garry. This has helped me tremendously as I choose not to numb. The greatest gift we have is to feel.
2. Create a life of busyness and be a human doing is a second choice that I had to ponder and overcome. This perpetual busyness allows us to keep going, feeling productive, going through the motions, but not living as a human being. This “get ‘r done” girl knows this one well. I now purposely take time throughout my day to pray, meditate and be. It is important to feel as we live with grief.
3. A third choice would be putting our ‘stuff’ onto other people. We need to be 100% owners of our grief journey. No two peoples will look the same. We can walk side-by-side momentarily with people, but we won’t always walk together for long. The feelings and thoughts that grief unfolds is as unique as each individual person. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. Anger showered towards other people is an energy suck. Bless and release. Thoughts about others journeys is pointless. Bless and release. Telling others how it will be is a lie. No one knows what grief will unfold for people. Who knew I would become a triathlete author who loves loves loves helping people be their healthiest selves through a nutritional system I discovered one November day at boot camp? We can only share where we are coming from and then allow other grief journeyers choose what will fit for them.
4. We have one more choice, that I see on this journey. Sit, lie, walk, workout and stand in our grief. Feeling it deeply with gentleness. Allowing ourselves to go to a deeper emotional place in whatever ‘position’ helps you grieve.
My laundry room is my sanctuary. This is where I lie. A place where I can be alone and lie on the floor, feeling my emotions. I lay there yesterday, crying, feeling, thinking and shifting. I reached out to a divine-inspired friend, shared my heart, felt, prayed and then shifted my state.
This morning, I ran. I worked out to give my mind time to churn. Space to think about my mom who always created magical holiday memories. Time to be in nature and allow myself to feel.
And now I stand. I am ready to celebrate this magical thanksgiving weekend with my boys. I have proactively processed and know I can react to anything that comes my way.
Walking alongside those fellow awake, heartfelt people.
Keep going my beautiful friends.
Working out to work things out.
You are not alone.