Category Archives: friendship

Be Thriving with the six to eight day per year peeps

Summer 2019 is here!

And its SURVIVAL mode for those people being inundated with company, people they see six to eight days per year. I had an epiphany to share with you, one to make you THRIVE this year.

First, start by thinking about those 365 day per year peeps in your life. Who are the people you live with or choose to have in your inner circle? What do you have in common with them and why do you choose to hangout with them? What do you talk about and what do you love to do together?

Now, think about those six to eight days per year people. Next proceed to throw everything that you thought about and love about your 365 day per year people and fling it directly into the bottom of the swimming pool. These peeps that are in your life six to eight days per year, may be old friends or family. They may be colleagues from your spouses work that you attend conferences with or neighbours you only see in the summer.

Here’s my secrets to not only SURVIVE but THRIVE with these peeps.

Remember that everything that you thought and love about your 365 day per year peeps has been flung to the bottom of the swimming pool, now throw any negative thought or judgement about the six to eight days per week peeps in there too!

Get ready to look at you: What are your standards for healthy relationships and how do you want to interact with all people, no matter how often they are in your life? For me, this is pouring love and bringing the joy. I don’t share much about my life or even feelings at all, with my six to eighters, I save this for my 365 days per year peeps. But I do have fun with everyone. We eat nourishing delicious food. We go on and find adventures. We talk about travel. We discuss health. But I do not go into the deep end! Remember all that stuff that you had flung down into the deep end of the pool? Don’t go there! Oh I used you and boy what a mess it made.

These six to eighters can’t keep up with the change that happens in the other over three hundred and fifty days of your life. They can’t embrace the change because it would be like getting hit by a fast moving train. The people who can keep up, are on the train. Invested in you. In your inner circle. Those every day peeps who support and love you. The six to eighters receive the benefit of your high standards and love-filled hospitality. But that’s it folks. You may end up talking about things you don’t give a shit about for hours, but you ask questions and listen. You probably will end up doing mind numbing activities that were never on your wish list, but you will discover the joy and enjoy the ride. You will create space to recharge with who you are as you live these six to eight days per year. I exercise. I read. I spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom. I bring games I enjoy playing. I bring up new topics of conversations and then change it back once I see the six to eighters eyes start to gloss over.

Imagine….

Pure joy.

Overflowing love.

Judgement thrown away.

Negative thoughts too!

Thriving with the peeps who show up six to eight days per year.

Staying on your train, but diverting long enough to embrace other peoples rides.

THRIVING!

Be Saying Goodbye to the Backup Boyfriend

You remember in high school when you dated that guy?

That guy that you kind of knew was not the ideal match for you?

That guy that made you look around and think, “Well, if this doesn’t work out, no worries, I could date  _______________ (insert name of another guy)!”

Do you remember your backup boyfriend?  That OTHER guy that was your friend and that you knew you could always fall back on.  Perhaps its the same backup boyfriend that you made a pact with to marry if you were both single at thirty?

Well tonight, I am saying goodbye to a whole bunch of backup boyfriends.  There are no more backups for me.  I am taking 100% responsibility for my life.   My decisions are mine.  I run my thoughts.  I create my actions.  I can do whatever I want.  I am closing the book on a whole bunch of backups in my mind!

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Goodbye to my beautiful backups:

  • My job that was ‘safe’ but not fulfilling, but had a good pension and benefits too!
  • The stuff I keep holding on to because I may “miss it”!
  • A mindset with certain family members that they will always be there if I “need them”!
  • Clothing or workout equipment that I keep around because I may wear it or use it one day!
  • People in my life that are beautiful to look at, but really don’t add any value.  People who aren’t fun nor stretching themselves.
  • Food that stuffs me down, rather than fueling me to rise up.
  • Trying to swim close to shore because “you never know”.
  • Any backups that you could add as you let this land on you?

I can no longer doubt my abilities relying on the backups to help me move forward.   I need to believe 100% in myself, letting go of the backup mindset!

Doubt and belief cannot live in the same space that I am creating.

Growing.

Without backup.

With excitement.

With gratitude.

For all that I am and all that I can do.

Being enough.

Being me!

Be Celebrating Another Nana

This post has been percolating in my mind for many months.  Stewing, forming, mashing all up together in my head and within the deepest part of my heart.

How could I best pour out my words for another beautiful, vibrant, gardening Nana?

Tonight, I just decided to sit down and write.

Tonight, I am celebrating another Nana.

I remember one day after dropping JC off at school in Vtown, a very good friend of mine K walked up to me in the parking lot.  I am not sure where the little boys were, but K and I ended up standing in the parking lot and she shared her news.

Her beautiful mom, Wendy, was diagnosed with cancer and they didn’t think it could be cured.
WUMP!

If you know my friend K, you know both her mom and her dad.  Like my parents used to be, their lives were woven throughout the fabric of their grandchildren and children’s lives.  Nana Wendy was a Super Nana, just like my mom.

I didn’t know at the time, but K and I would walk similar journeys as grieving daughters and mom’s of young children as we watched our Super Nana’s and mom’s live and die with cancer.  My mom wouldn’t be diagnosed until many months later and would pass away two years before Nana Wendy.

On December, 29th, 2015, just two short months ago, I was able to be present and sit as K and her family celebrated Wendy’s life.  Ironically, it was two years to the day that we had celebrated my mom’s own life.

Wendy’s celebration of life was truly remarkable and not something that I soon will forget. Candles were lit.  K read a beautiful poem.  Her brother shared his mom’s life story and some humour to go along with it.  K’s daughter shared her heart.  Family and friends shared stories.  It was the most lighthearted, beautiful, inspiring, celebration of life I had seen.  I felt like I had the opportunity to sit with Wendy, getting to know her more through her family, while in her garden.

This moment reminded me about the depth of character, which we all have, that allows us to grieve deeply, yet celebrate a life.   This same depth allows us to smile at little children and be grateful for an unborn baby that K’s brother’s family was expecting, while feeling sadness about the loss.

Life is created in these beautiful seeming “opposing” moments, created by amazing families, like K’s!

It is about embracing all of lifes beauty at all times.

I am extremely humbled to call K my friend and to have journeyed this passage of time with her through cancer treatments, hospital stays, time in hospice and celebrating our moms lives and deaths.

With gratitude, I pour out these words.

With humbleness of heart for being able to watch this journey unfold.

With a great lump in my throat for the loss we both endure.

With sadness for our children that have lost their Super Nanas.

With love pouring out because of how our mom’s lived their lives.

To the max!

With laughter.

With a good book at their side.

A beautiful garden to tend to.

And a family that deeply misses their presence.

Hugs to our Nanas in heaven.

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Be Knowing What DRIVES You!

Have you ever wanted something so bad that all you could do was talk about it, think about it, dream about it?

Perhaps you wanted a pony as a child.

Maybe it was to make it to the Olympics.

I wonder if it was thinking about getting married.

What was that “something” that just drove you into perpetual conscious and unconscious thought which caused you massive action?

This morning it started with a question from a personal development course that I am doing: What drives people?

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Luckily I have an inner circle that is very tolerant of my philosophical questions coming out of thin air, so I started by texting one person.

Princess P ended up saying: “People that I love and enjoy, nature, adventures… Celebrations and traditions power me.”

Next I texted another person, Dr. K to hear what she had to say: “Before coffee: coffee”. (I must admit that I get up so early and excited for each day that I forget people may still be sleeping.)  After coffee, she text back and said, “Health and Happiness”. And then Dr. K asked her mom and she said, “Live in the moment and look to the future… not stuck in the past with regrets.  Also strive for excellence not perfection.”

Then I texted a few people more because I was oh so curious.  I love PEOPLE and I loved hearing what drives them.

One friend shared that she was contemplating this exact question.

Awesome A shared, “Creating a loving home for my family.”

Double D (the one who keeps giving me back my hat!), said, “My family” and

RvZ said “Work, play, laughter, kinda combo. Achievement. Getting stuff done. But the days that I spend in nature are pretty top.”

When you have great conversations like that all day long and ponder such a question like “What drives you?” the answers come clearly.

What drives me?

Harmony.

Freedom.

I seek harmony in the world around me through relationships, nature, and within myself.

I move towards freedom to be my authentic self, freedom poured out for others to be exactly who they are, time and financial freedom for my family and friends.

What drives you?

Here is my “drive” story for today: Before dinner, my boys, spied a digger down end of our road.   They had this incredible drive to go and see this digger.  The talked about this digger and wondered why it was there throughout the entire dinner. They ate without complaint and then they were off out the door without a word, just so that they could get an eye on this digger.

Drive.

Target.

Success.

The boys reached their target!

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Our brain is a cybernetic system and unless you pick a target, your unconscious brain will choose something for you.   Think about these three boys and yourself as a child, what drove you?  What did you love to talk about, think about, dream about?

Today, why don’t you find what drives you and then choose the target?

Go for it!

You “Cann” do it.

Be Living a Dream 

Our home is in another’s hand.  

We are roaming around our region in Grandma and a Papa’s truck and camper. 

No plans.  

No agenda. 

Just living in the moments that create our days and make our lives.  

It’s a dream of ours to do this.  

Creating a bit of financial freedom through sharing our home.  

Making carefree memories for our boys.  

Day one is complete with a stop for a paddle and kayak.  

  
Throw in a post-hockey camp tailgate party provided by friends celebrating their sixteenth wedding anniversary.   

 A stop at a beach then up the road for ice cream.  

Now we are tucked in and ready for sleep on our friends beautiful acreage with crickets singing us a nightly toon. 

Don’t be surprised if you see our rig pull into your driveway if you are living close by…. 

No plans.  

No responsibilities. 

One moment. 

One day.  

One life.  

Living a dream with my boys and friends.   

 

Be Blown Away on your Birthday 

It’s a windy day here on May the first, but it is not the wind that had blown me away.  

It is the incredible people that surround me closely this year at home, far away in thought and through words posted on Facebook.  I am a bit gobsmacked to be honest.   

After the deep sorrow of my last birthday celebrating my first birthday without my mom, I had expected to be sitting in a mental pit today.  I expected to be hit in the chest with sadness.  

Isn’t it great when we continue to see that our expectations are only expectations?   

   

Today, I am soaring through the air.

 

Surprised by a pond that I thought was a broken sewer pipe.   My boys   lovingly made this pond last weekend as I sold tea.  

  We even put fish in the pond! 

Surrounded at home by my wee boys who are under the weather.   

  

Soaking up the love from all the incredible people God has chosen to surround me with. 

I am blessed! 

Soaring.  

Surprised. 

Surrounded.  

Soaking it up! 

Thank you to everyone for truly blowing me away.  I am in a bit of disbelief and I am full of gratitude.  

Thank you Sexy Neck for leading our boys and for loving me.   (Wild and crazy ideas and all!)

 

Be Had by a Hat

I was gotten.

I was had.

By a hat!

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In my beautiful, handmade salad dressing!

This little ditty started way back in 2009… SIX YEARS AGO.

It started with a cake and here is the story.

For over two years, this hat has now been going back and forth between my friend Double D and I.

Last week, I kindly asked my friend Double D if I could get some of her amazing, beautiful balsamic salad dressing that I think she should sell.  I pulled into her house on Friday afternoon, looking for her to jump out of somewhere and throw the hat into my car.  Previously, I had put the hat ten feet up in her tree when she was away on a relaxing weekend away.

I searched the bag and NO HAT!  I looked under the paper in the bag and NO HAT!

Whew!
Relief!

Joy!

Peace!

The hat was STILL in her hands!

But then, alas, I opened the beautiful jar of creamy, delicious handmade salad dressing.

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I fell on the floor.

I groaned and I moaned.

And the boys laughed and laughed and laughed.

I WAS HAD BY A HAT!

A few boys are very happy about the hat!  CC has been wearing it ever since it arrived back in our home via salad dressing.  IMG_8488[1]

Dude!  Don’t mess with Double D.  She is one smart and creative woman!