Tag Archives: psychology

Be Walking on YOUR Path

Do you feel your chest beating faster?

Or maybe you are holding your breath?

Perhaps you think your heart is going to jump out of your body?

Or maybe you mind is a swirling mess?

I am going to take a guess.

You aren’t walking on your own path.

The external becomes the internal.

It almost crushes you from the inside out.

The words and actions of others around you, blow you around like a hurricane.

One cruel word.

One harsh no.

One insensitive criticism.

One perceived snide look.

One RBF.

And your heart beats faster.

You feel like you may need to sit down.

This is a sign.

Your body is talking.

Your mind is listening.

Your spirit is guiding.

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Sit.

Listen.

Ponder.

Find out how to get back onto YOUR path.

This magical place where you will soar.

No matter what anyone says or does.

Where you can dance like no one is watching.

Walk fast or slow.

Your heart will be home here.

Above your feet step by step.

Yes, you may feel uncomfortable here on this path.

BUT, it will be magical.

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The most exhilarating ride of your life.

Listening to what you were created to be.

Without comparison.

No judgement.

Only you being you.

Exactly how you were meant to be.

Walking on YOUR path.

This week, my wish for myself and everyone reading this, is that we will find our steps to take.

Breathe by breathe.

May our no be no and your yes be yes.

May excitement and joy find us around every corner that we take.

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Walking out our days.

Every step of the way.

Savouring everything that passes by.

Just as we are.

Who we are.

Being.

us.

On OUR path!

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Be Learning About Shame/Guilt 

Brene Brown is the shame expert in our generation, but I want to add my two sense as shame has been my game for most of my life.  I have been shamed, shamed others and watch people shame.  It’s powerful emotion and one that can be used as a tool to destroy! 

Your spirit.  

Your belief in yourself. 

Your belonging.  

Your being.  

First, let’s talk about the difference between shame and guilt to get this emotional, mindset roller coaster rolling down the track.  


For me, the difference between shame and guilt involves the external versus the internal.  Have you every had anyone ‘put’ something on you, that’s most likely shame.  My most recent example was when someone criticized what I said during a conversation they overheard and then, without me asking for feedback, they told me what I ‘should’ have done.  When I get ‘should’ on, I know it’s shame.   Someone is trying to tell you what to do and wielding the shame sword to get you to do it.    My father recently told me that “I thought mom and I had brought you up better than that.” Yup, I am 43 years old and that is called good ‘old’ shame.  

No should.  

Just could.  

No shame.  

Just guilt.  

No swords. 

Just freedom.  

Guilt for me is a super power that comes from within.  It moves you to deeper places.  It helps you grow.  It’s the feeling inside, “Oh, I could have done that!”  You realize your mistake and seek answers to make it better for next time.  It completely happens within.  It could have been triggered by an external event or conversation but no one ‘put’ anything on you.  It’s 100% coming from you.  This happened recently with something I ate.  I felt guilty afterwards because it wasn’t fueling my body but instead was feeding an emotion.  My guilt allowed me to move into a new place thinking about fuel versus feeling foods.  

Your spirit. 

Your belief in yourself. 

Your belonging.  

Your being.  

Free to live your life.  

Free to make mistakes. 

Free to listen within. 

Everyone living without shame ‘put’on each other.  

Free to get off the shame roller coaster.  

Free to step aboard the guilt train. 

Be Free.  

Be Enough.  

Be Giving Birth…

…to a book! 

  
I have given birth three times, twice at home and once at the hospital. All were beautiful labour-intensive moments that I would do again tomorrow.  They were all miracle moments after nine months of growth and preparation. 

And now after nine months, I am giving birth to a book baby.  Twins actually.  The first book will be birthed into the world sharing my inner journey through the gift of grief and then my outer journey book will be ‘pushed out’ shortly afterwards. 

Putting my thoughts into words involved early mornings, late nights, many uncomfortable moments and back pain from sitting in a chair.   It caused endless hours of introspection as I prepared to plunge my words into the vast unknown of Amazon and people paying to read my words.  

I know I am awaiting the time.  

I have prepared.  

I have pondered.  

I am ready to live my miracle moments. 

Knowing I am enough.  

I can be enough.  

Just being. 

Me.  

Giving birth to twin books. 

Be Knowing What DRIVES You!

Have you ever wanted something so bad that all you could do was talk about it, think about it, dream about it?

Perhaps you wanted a pony as a child.

Maybe it was to make it to the Olympics.

I wonder if it was thinking about getting married.

What was that “something” that just drove you into perpetual conscious and unconscious thought which caused you massive action?

This morning it started with a question from a personal development course that I am doing: What drives people?

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Luckily I have an inner circle that is very tolerant of my philosophical questions coming out of thin air, so I started by texting one person.

Princess P ended up saying: “People that I love and enjoy, nature, adventures… Celebrations and traditions power me.”

Next I texted another person, Dr. K to hear what she had to say: “Before coffee: coffee”. (I must admit that I get up so early and excited for each day that I forget people may still be sleeping.)  After coffee, she text back and said, “Health and Happiness”. And then Dr. K asked her mom and she said, “Live in the moment and look to the future… not stuck in the past with regrets.  Also strive for excellence not perfection.”

Then I texted a few people more because I was oh so curious.  I love PEOPLE and I loved hearing what drives them.

One friend shared that she was contemplating this exact question.

Awesome A shared, “Creating a loving home for my family.”

Double D (the one who keeps giving me back my hat!), said, “My family” and

RvZ said “Work, play, laughter, kinda combo. Achievement. Getting stuff done. But the days that I spend in nature are pretty top.”

When you have great conversations like that all day long and ponder such a question like “What drives you?” the answers come clearly.

What drives me?

Harmony.

Freedom.

I seek harmony in the world around me through relationships, nature, and within myself.

I move towards freedom to be my authentic self, freedom poured out for others to be exactly who they are, time and financial freedom for my family and friends.

What drives you?

Here is my “drive” story for today: Before dinner, my boys, spied a digger down end of our road.   They had this incredible drive to go and see this digger.  The talked about this digger and wondered why it was there throughout the entire dinner. They ate without complaint and then they were off out the door without a word, just so that they could get an eye on this digger.

Drive.

Target.

Success.

The boys reached their target!

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Our brain is a cybernetic system and unless you pick a target, your unconscious brain will choose something for you.   Think about these three boys and yourself as a child, what drove you?  What did you love to talk about, think about, dream about?

Today, why don’t you find what drives you and then choose the target?

Go for it!

You “Cann” do it.

Be Open to Feel and to the Endless Possibilities

I have had my feelings hurt many times recently.

I wasn’t sure why.

I ponder these words.

Tonight, I had an aha moment when I realized I get hurt because I am open.

I allow people to tell me about myself.

I permit them to tell me things because it is easier for them.

I have heard that if I lose more weight I will look old.

I have listened as people questioned what I eat.

I have allowed conversation about how I organize my calendar. (Yes, I have colours for each wee boy so that I can keep everyone’s schedule straight.)

I choose to continue to be open.

I choose to deeply feel.

I am no longer taking the easy road or trying to make people feel “comfortable” at the expense of my feelings.

I continue to allow and encourage people to talk about themselves.

I am learning strategies to stop people from talking about and judging me.

I realize that people are hurting deep inside and makes it hard for them to talk about themselves.

I realize that being an open person makes people uncomfortable.

I realize that my life of freedom living with endless possibilities is disconcerting for some.

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And yes, I am going to die my hair a strip of purple to show remind me of my ‘shield of faith’.  (with my stylist)

Being open.

No longer hurting.

Feeling.

All things are possible!

Glory.

Be Pondering Newton’s Third Law

In Mr. Voigt’s Chemistry 11 course, I sat in the middle of the science lab room on the right hand side.

I was a mid-pack kind of kid that was really trying to hide.  Numbers and science weren’t my forte.  I couldn’t feel anything from numbers and the subject of science, well, that was a whole bunch of really long, confusing words.  BUT the quotes on the right side of Mr. Voigt’s wall were a hook for me.  In his class, I started writing down quotes.  In my sixteen year old mind, I read over and drank up these quotes every day.    These quotes were more nourishing to me than any book or writing assignment that Ms. Birdsall did in English class.  (Yes, these were actually my teacher’s names.  Quite fitting aren’t they?)  These quotes help me survive and even thrive in Chemistry 11.

My favourite quote was: “Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.”

Today, I thought of Mr. Voigt and I must confess that for the first time in my life I was pondering something science-y.

Newton’s Third Law

Every action will cause an equal and opposite reaction.  (Did I get that right?)

A good example for me right now would be when I think about swimming in our pool.  I amazingly have strength to push the water backwards and miraculously the water pushes me forward.  Viola, Newton’s Third Law.

The crazy thing is not only have I been pondering this in the physical realm around us, but I have taken it a step further and am pondering it in the mental realm we create in our minds.

Do our thoughts create equal and opposition reactions?

Could thoughts be considered actions?

The reason that I have been thinking this is that over the last three months I have infused my mind with a potpourri of positive podcasts, the discourse of thoughtful, serving people and videos that are encouraging and motivating.

Could these actions pouring into and nourishing my mind be creating a new mental picture for my life?

Newton’s Third Law for changing your mind.

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Your dreams.

Your life.

Stay tuned.

This is only the beginning of this scientific experiment!

Be Stretched

I’ve never been known for my ability to stretch. I have never been called Gumby! On my University volleyball team, I remember we used to laugh at my inability to touch my toes. I was called peg legged!

I know that I am not physically flexible, but I didn’t know how mentally inflexible I am!

I have been stretched. In the last six week, my husband has been injured, my physically home has changed, my boys have been sick and I have been holding onto to Jesus’ cloak asking for help.

Yesterday, my husband returned to the hospital because his suture was red and hot. Yes, he has an infection. He is now back on the couch at our house. We didn’t move back down the lake closer to his work. He can’t work for a few days.

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This sent me into an emotional tailspin – okay what now? Who goes where? Who is doing what and how can I get back to my yoga class?

It all “worked out”! But not before I almost had a meltdown because my expectations weren’t meeting up with reality. Boy have I been stretched!

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I may be able to touch my toes if this continues! I pray that I can!