Category Archives: author

author, blogger, Grief, Uncategorized

Be Living In Between 

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⚡️I had always thought that if you worked hard enough, you will get where you want to go.   Magically, everything would just all fall into place.  Nope I am still living “in between”. 

⚡️I had always thought there was a magic wand where “poof” healing would come after my mom had died and all would be well.  But all isn’t well. I feel things incredible deeply when I find out a friend’s mom has cancer or a preschool friend has cancer or a surgeon treats a friend poorly, just like what happened to my mom.  Sometime “in between” just sucks.  

⚡️I had always thought that if I did ‘my work’, communicated kindly and directly that all would be well.  I thought my relationships would flourish and we would all sing “kombiya” together.   I have some relationships with my family of origin that I couldn’t even consider “in between”, they are non-existent.  

⚡️I had always thought that if I reached certain goals in my life that all would be well.  I envisioned that life would be more fun and that there would be an ease or flow to it.  I have reached those goals, but I still sit “in between” as those goals have now changed.  


THIS I NOW KNOW FOR SURE… 

✨ I am “doing less” throughout my days, but I have never experienced so many more incredible opportunities coming into my life. These “in between” places are BEAUTIFUL.    I have more quiet times, more moments of “no coincidences” where I have to lie down and less ‘busyness’.

✨ My healing is a journey not a destination to be tackled. Actually, I don’t even know where my healing journey is going to take me next! Being “in between” the healing journey creates MIRACLES.   It has deepened my relationships, helped me focus on what’s important and allowed me the privilege to see into the beautiful hearts of women like Heather, whom I met today.  

✨ Relationships are like a game of baseball, each person needs to be willing to catch the ball.  I have been playing a ton of catch with my “people’s” back to me.  Imagine a baseball game looking like that?  You can only apologize so much, talk so much, and try to get someone to play for so long.  “In between” relationships are RAD because they mean I am REALLY free to be me.  

✨ It is truly each moment that makes life sweet…moment after moment.   Every day I love savouring the weather, the age of my boys, the laughter at myself when things go wrong, the watching as our dreams unfold.  Step by step, one lunch box making, wrestling match breaking, toy taking and sheer joy making day at a time.  “In between” is a SWEET place to be. 

Life is powerful when we are awake to the processes “in between” 

To the beauty and spaces that surrounds us every day.  

To people’s eyes. 

To people’s stories.  

To the sheer grandeur of the non-coincidences that unfold before me.  

The presence of God. 

Doing less. 

Being more. 

Healing and… 

Being broken. 

Playing catch. 

Facing forward. 

Leaning in. 

Moment by moment. 

In between. 

Awake. 

Savouring. 

Tasting.  

Enjoying.    

Knowing for sure that RIGHT NOW… 

I am ENOUGH! 

Living “in between” 

author, blogger, musings, positivity

Be Living Lavish (not lacking a thing!)

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Lavish luxurious living.

Not lacking a thing.

Could you imagine it?

Really?

I am living it!

Truly!

My mind has shifted from living in lack, in scarcity.

It has moved into a place of abundance, of lavish luxury!

I have realized that I have everything I need, in this moment.

I am listening, looking, learning and living as I talk about in my book, “I Am Free!” 

Inside and Out!

I previously believed,  I never had enough time or that time was ‘slipping’ away.  My lists seemed endless and my priorities were blowing in the wind by others visions for me.  I was flitting here and there trying to get things done and make up for “lost time”.   Now I know that I create my time and I have enough each day.  I enjoy and savour moments throughout the day.  The moments create a beautiful life.  I know that I have enough time.

FAITH! (not lacking faith!)

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Before, I would worry about spending money $$$$, didn’t enjoy spending it nor never thought that we would ever have enough.  I budgeted, spreadsheeted, pondered and prayed about how to make our finances “work”.  Now I know that we can create the financial future that we want by being awake to how we are spending money, by saving practically and enjoying the journey along the way.  I now find money EVERYWHERE and my boys do too!  It is fun to see how this currency we have created is coming our way.

FINANCIAL FUN! (not lacking a cent!)

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I used to think, that I was a border collie when it came to relationships.  My role was to herd everyone together and to make sure that everyone was okay.  I would endless reach out to people and communicate in a way that I thought would “make things better” by often listening to gossip or by saying I am sorry are just a few examples.   I now know that I am a loving, strong woman with a wonderful tribe of people surrounding me, with their own personalities and traits.  Everyone is responsible for themselves.  I no longer am responsible for the herd, but choose to enjoy those that are attracted to my golden retriever personality.

FRIENDSHIP (definitely not in lack here!)

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I am humbled to admit that before I never thought that I could do enough. EVER!  I ALWAYS felt that I was at fault if something went wrong. I ALWAYS felt that I was never able to meet anyone’s standards, even my own.  It was pressure, my friends, pressure to perform to the MAX.  I rarely rested.  I never let my mind sit, afraid of the lengthy to-do list that would push my face down into the pavement.  I now know, that I am enough.  I am doing enough, each day, with my gifts and imperfections.  I ALWAYS know that I can add value to people.  I ALWAYS feel freedom just to be.  My mind can sit and I often find myself lying down on the ground in awe of the divine moments that come my way!

FREEDOM (soooo much freedom)

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What are the possibilities for you to move from lack into lavishness?  Is it related to your thoughts on food, friends, exercise, sleep, sex, communication, spirituality, writing…?

As we enter the season of the new school year, may we all move into a place of lavish luxurious living!  This is my hope for everyone who reads this post!

SMOOCH, Joanna

author

Be Within

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When the storm roars around you.

Stay within.

When words come furiously your way, like the wind.

Go within.

Allow yourself to sit with your sadness, your deepest feelings.

Be within.

Previously, I would blow like the wind in a soft summer’s breeze.

Any words said with blame, shame, anger or hurt would topple me over.

Now, I know that I can “be within”.

Within myself.

Knowing my great failures and great strengths.

Knowing my wrongs and my rights.

Fully awake and knowing myself.

Within myself.

Previously, I would run like the wind not allowing myself to see my wrongs nor my greatness.

I tried to run life along the fence, neither swaying to the right nor the left.

But ALWAYS trying to do the right thing.

Within myself.

The struggle was fierce.

Trying to do the “right” thing in everyone’s eyes.

This took a lot of work.

Within myself. IMG_6433[1]

NOW, I have found freedom.

Within myself.

Freedom to be me.

Allowing the words blown at me to topple me over, feeling them deeply as I always will.

Allowing them to float by like that summer’s breeze.

Allowing the fence to be a place of doing cartwheels, of being silly and not being perfect  (and, of course, sometimes falling off).

My VISION is freedom.

My tears flow.

My message is deep.

My words are clear.

Stay within.

Go within.

Be within.

 

Glory to God alone.

(Photo credits to 4 year old OC!)

author, Family, Triathlon

Be a Swim, Bike, Runner…

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The beautiful summer days of adventure, creating, dreaming, reading, eating, movie watching as well as swim, bike and running followed by a fantastic Sun Rype buffet to finish it off.

A few weekends ago, our four, seven and nine year old boys embarked on an athletic event that is so delightful.  It took our youngest 8:49 to get to the Sun Rype buffet table where they can choose any Sun Rype products.  Our seven year old was 10:18 and our oldest zipped around the course in 21:07.   They had a fantastic morning!  Look at those medals too!  This kids triathlon knows how to create magical memories for kids!  And that is what our family is all about!

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OC – age 4.

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CC – Age 7 + one day

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JC – Age 9

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Our Cheering squad and our amazing racers!

Love these summer days!  Love these moments.

May you create magical moments each day.

In words.

In actions.

In being.

In thought.

In spirit.

With intention.

In being.

You!

author, blogger, psychology, women

Be Getting Untangled by a Weed

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When I was a child, I never wanted to jump off the boat into the water.  The only way that I learned how to water ski was because I was afraid to fall into the weeds, so I decided to never fall.  I wouldn’t swim out to the buoys because I couldn’t see the bottom or I could see the weeds down below.  I am not sure which was worse.

Today, I swam two point one kilometres (1.3 miles) across our local lake with over 1200 other swimmers.  Six weeks ago, I couldn’t swim longer than 300 metres (984 feet) without putting my feet on the sandy, shallow bottom.  Yup, swimming along the kiddy area trying to keep my heart in my body!

Over the six week, I trained with a group who met every Saturday.  I listened.  I watched.  I put my head down into the water and did my best.   Throughout the week, I swam with a new friend who was in a similar place as me.  We made shrill shrieks as we entered the cool water.  We swam together.  We drank some lake water.  We eventually went around and around those buoys, but we had never swam across the lake.

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Until today.

Today, I awoke to the still lake water.  I watched it shimmer as the sun peeked out from behind a cloud.   I watched excited, nervous, wide-eyed people, over five hundred newbies, get ready to swim across this lake.

And you know what happened?  Within a few moments of starting the race, my leg got tangled up with a week.  Right leg started kicking, my mind was annoyed.  I had a choice.

Carry this weed throughout the race or shake it off and move on.

I kicked my right leg and off it slid and on I went.

Full of strength and grace.

Supported and lovingly held by this beautiful water.

Feeling like a dolphin, a mermaid or even a fish heading home.

I untangled more than that weed today.

As I swam head down, stroke by stroke,

I realized that that weed was a symbol of my emotions.

Am I willing to acknowledge where I am at in any given moment?

Am I will to shake it off, untangle the emotion and let it go?

Am I willing to swim my race, allowing the emotions to come, and just continue?

When you are swimming, there really isn’t much choice, but swim.

In life, there really isn’t much choice, but to live.

With our emotions.

Wherever we are in our stroke on the lake of life.

Riding the waves, like I did with my grief.

Finding camaraderie among people on the same journey, listening, learning.

With the strength and grace of practice, mental mindset and allowing myself to be.

Being me.

Being enough.

While getting untangled by a weed.

I am post-race untangled here!  Oh what a beautiful feeling!

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(Note from the author: Thirty-nine minutes swimming in a lake will bring up such metaphors.  I had the most mental clarity and mental “stillness” in that water today than I have ever had in any moment in my entire life! WOAH)

 

 

author, blogger, friendship, Goals, humour, philosophy, Wordsmith, writing

Be Saying Goodbye to the Backup Boyfriend

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You remember in high school when you dated that guy?

That guy that you kind of knew was not the ideal match for you?

That guy that made you look around and think, “Well, if this doesn’t work out, no worries, I could date  _______________ (insert name of another guy)!”

Do you remember your backup boyfriend?  That OTHER guy that was your friend and that you knew you could always fall back on.  Perhaps its the same backup boyfriend that you made a pact with to marry if you were both single at thirty?

Well tonight, I am saying goodbye to a whole bunch of backup boyfriends.  There are no more backups for me.  I am taking 100% responsibility for my life.   My decisions are mine.  I run my thoughts.  I create my actions.  I can do whatever I want.  I am closing the book on a whole bunch of backups in my mind!

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Goodbye to my beautiful backups:

  • My job that was ‘safe’ but not fulfilling, but had a good pension and benefits too!
  • The stuff I keep holding on to because I may “miss it”!
  • A mindset with certain family members that they will always be there if I “need them”!
  • Clothing or workout equipment that I keep around because I may wear it or use it one day!
  • People in my life that are beautiful to look at, but really don’t add any value.  People who aren’t fun nor stretching themselves.
  • Food that stuffs me down, rather than fueling me to rise up.
  • Trying to swim close to shore because “you never know”.
  • Any backups that you could add as you let this land on you?

I can no longer doubt my abilities relying on the backups to help me move forward.   I need to believe 100% in myself, letting go of the backup mindset!

Doubt and belief cannot live in the same space that I am creating.

Growing.

Without backup.

With excitement.

With gratitude.

For all that I am and all that I can do.

Being enough.

Being me!

author, encouragement, poetry, positivity, Uncategorized, words

Be Living Your Light 

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Thrown down. 

Living looking down. 

Feeling down. 

While looking around. 

Eyes darting. 

Heart dying. 

Words cursing. 

Running. 

Playing 

All over my mind. 

BUT NOW LIGHT. 

My light shining. 

Pushing up. 

Living as me. 

While looking within. 

Eyes glowing. 

Heart overflowing. 

Words pouring. 

Lying down. 

Living. 

All over my mind. 

BUT NOW LIGHT. 

 
All our lights shining. 

Pushing out. 

Living out loud. 

While looking around. 

Eyes soaring. 

Heart bursting. 

Words blessing. 

Flying. 

Present. 

All over the world. 

MORE AND MORE LIGHT! 

This night do not allow the light of others to diminish all that you can do.  Allow your light to find strength in their light.  Be strong in who you are and build up those around you also living in their light!  Shine my beautiful friend! Light it up! 

 Smooch, Joanna  
Glory to God whose power in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine! (Eph 3:20)  

author, dreams, mindset, Teaching, time

Be Retiring and Releasing

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Do you know when you have been holding onto something for too long?

It just sits in the back of your brain, popping up in your head like an annoying old boyfriend.   As these thoughts roll through your mind like a movie, you have to decide to continue to let them float on by or to let them go.

Often if you sit with these thoughts, you just know when it is time to let things go!

For over six years, I have been fortunate to have a leave of absence from a teaching job.  And it was an amazing teaching job, which makes it hard to let go of.  I hold no regrets.  Only fabulous memories with inspiring people surrounding me.

I taught in towns and villages all through the school district.

I had students get picked up via dogsled and horseback.  I had students create the most amazing projects and share the most incredible stories.

I had a custodian that inspired me daily, saran wrapped my entire classroom and help me survive my first classroom teaching experience.

I had families that I was fortunate to know well and even teach many of their children.

I had the very best CEA’s (Teacher’s Assistants).  These women were the best teammates you could ever ask for when teaching children. They were even willing to dress up with me in PJ’s to help teach the children a lesson on responsibility. Oh that was a fun day!  The tolerated my math lessons as Grandma Cann and cried with me when students were having a hard time.

My colleagues were superior and they continue to inspire me living their lives on Facebook and Strava or when I head back to VCity and run into them on the street.  These colleagues are the ones creating amazing drama productions, music performances, coaching teams, creating community schools, teaching en francais and so many other incredible educational feats during this season of teaching children.

And oh my Principals, they were bar none the best.  Servant-hearted, caring Principals.  People that Sexy Neck and I often talk about and ask, “What would Linda or Jim or Tom or ________ do?  I was so fortunate to have the best leaders.

So as I let go, I am fully awake and completely saddened.  The ebb and flow of life, I am realizing.   A chapter in my teaching story is complete!  I am releasing and allowing new space for things in my mind, in my life and in my wildest dreams.  I am grateful to be alive!

My resignation letter is in:

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