All posts by Be Enough

author, blogger, Boys, Education, homeschooling

Be Lacking Socialization in Home Learning

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The biggest question that I get as a home-based learning parent and teacher is: “How is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting?” This genuine, heartfelt and often “worry-filled” question from many people close to us always comes from a place that we are ‘lacking’ socialization in home-based learning. My most recent question about socializing my kids came while sitting in a dentist waiting room. It had me pondering what does socializing mean and what do we actually do to “socialize” the boys. This is a long one, and may shock some, so strap yourselves in folks!

According to Merriam-Webster we have two definitions of “socialization” that fit for this question:

  1. “The process, beginning during childhood, by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society
  2. “Social interaction with others”

After being at the receiving end of this question for over five years, I now want to laugh out loud, but I don’t because I know that this question comes from a lack of understanding on what home-based learning looks like.

Do we believe that children can be socialized best, “acquiring the values, habits and attitude of society”, by being in a classroom with the same teacher with their same gifts/talents plus the same 30 students for ten months a year for 6 hours per day? *******Remember: These children and their families often have no say with whom their children will share their days with.

Okay then Joanna, how is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting? I simply respond with sharing that I believe that children are best socialized when they are interacting with many ages and generations of people with variegated ideas and passions. Imagine having many “teachers”, on a daily basis, that have assorted gifts? I am going to share what our family currently did for learning activities “beyond the books” and online programs that add to their “socialization” that many people around us are worried about. Strap yourself in, as even I am shocked at what I realized my boys experience on a weekly/monthly basis for “socialization”.

SIDENOTE: Please carefully remember that because my children don’t sit in a classroom all day and have to “live by someone else’s schedule”, we can truly create the schedule that is unique to them, their abilities and their energy levels. They have more “time” throughout their days to do the activities that I am listing plus more downtime to read on the couch, sit in the yard, climb trees and play random games of tennis, soccer, basketball… Learning happens from waking until they go to bed twelve months of the year. Home-based learning is the term that I often use, as home is the base, but learning can and does happen everywhere we go. The ADDED BONUS in this home-based learning lifestyle is that the boys can sleep in when they are tired and we also don’t hesitate to change our schedule or skip things, if they feel a cold coming on or simply need a break.

Here are our list of activities where opportunities for “socialization” occur during this current season (Spring, 2023):

Grade 10 Son’s Activities:

  • Goes to campus school every second day
  • Trampoline gymnastics 3 x per week
  • Trampoline competitions 5 x per year
  • Chiropractor 1 x per month
  • Physiotherapy 4 x per year
  • Ultimate frisbee team 3 x per week
  • Soccer referee 1 x per week
  • Helps our neighbour in her yard 1 x per week
  • Drivers training and classes 1 x per for 8 weeks
  • Talks to our other neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Video editing and making movies (Learning from Youtubers)
  • Play VR with a home learning friend 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 8 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 3 x per week
  • Taekwondo events 2 x per year
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Soccer Referee 2 x per week
  • Voice/Music lessons 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Youth Group
  • Speech therapy 1 x per week
  • Tutoring 1 x per week
  • Occupational Therapy 1 x every 2 weeks
  • Physiotherapy 1 x per month
  • Orthodontist 1 x every six weeks
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Hangout with a neighbour 1 x per month
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 6 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 2 x per week
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Trumpet lessons 1 x per week
  • Take mail over to our neighbours 1 x per month
  • Drawing/Cartooning class 1 x per week
  • Grass volleyball league 2 x per week
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

This doesn’t include other arbitrary visits with people in the grocery store, when we give friends a ride home, someone comes to the front door and the hours of conversation that we have as a family eating dinner every night together, pouring love onto each of the boys’ lives, building them up, coaching them individually, working through problems and simply being a perfectly imperfect family. We are truly blessed.

If you are personally worried about the socialization of a home-based learning student, ask them: “What do your days look like?”

Many home learning families have more time for interactions with their extended family that adds richness and value and others, like us, bring in ‘experts’ from the community around them with their unique talents to pour into their children. Every family’s learning schedule is unrepeatable and socialization opportunities are truly unfathomable. What our kids experience on a daily basis could never be repeated inside a campus classroom.

If after reading this blog post and talking with your home-based learning friends/ family members you are still personally worried about the socialization, I would turn this worry into the socialization that is happening with a campus setting. We are grateful to be “skipping” many of the social behaviours that are happening in the middle school years in our community.

The moments are endless for home-based learning young people, learning outside the constraints of a campus building, with a schedule that is designed personally designed for them. This isn’t a lifestyle of learning for everyone, but it is for anyone who has the desire and time plus wants to learn from a variety of people with a variety of gifts all year long.

Have a sunny Saturday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

P.S. Can anyone tell that my boys were at camp this week? 3 posts in 3 days. I really missed them a ton and enjoyed the time to ponder and think.

author, blogger, Family, finance, Flexibility, home learning, Parenting, Wordsmith

Be Compartmentalizing your Life

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When I was a ten years old, I remember lining up at the Scotia bank in Spruceland strip mall with my dad on Friday afternoons so that he could get cash for the weekend before the bank closed. This is such a vivid memory that I can even remember some of the clothes I was wearing when I went and some of conversations we had with people as we lined up (weekend fishing trips, accidents that happened in the bush, local hockey scores…).

When was the last time you lined up or were at the bank in person?

This week?

Last week?

A month ago?

A year ago?

I am genuinely curious. Would you let me know?

My bet is that you are like me and you are checking your banking online at home, scanning in any cheques you receive and receiving and sending e-transfers rather than going to the physical bank building. And this story about banking is exactly why I want to talk about “compartmentalizing your life”.

(Sidenote: I am actually speaking to myself about this topic, but I thought you would all like to be a part of my musings and unconnected thoughts and personal stories as I connect them.)

August 1st, 2023, I am starting on a new teaching/work adventure and right now I am dialing in my schedule and thinking about what I do during each day that I really need to account for and compartmentalized. I am not only thinking of every single thing that I do throughout my day in person, but also what I am doing online. My brain hurts a bit. Have you ever tried to account for everything you do within a week?

My first stop on this brain train has started with banking. I do banking throughout my days as bills arrive, as e-transfer requests come through and check our banking regularly as money moves in and out of our account monthly. Banking is now moving over to Sexy Neck. Boom shakalaka. He now has a handy-dandy chart with everything that regularly moves in and out of our account plus a lovely storage system for the boys and I to use to place the bills. Viola, first stop done.

My second stop has been around regular house cleaning. What currently happens around our house, well until yesterday, is that I do cleaning during the weekdays so that we don’t spend the evenings and weekends doing this chore. What did I do with this gargantuan list? I hired a cleaner. Yup, I did. This goes back to my first year of teaching when we had our beautiful friend Faye clean for us. It was such a gift. I decided to take on a few extra students and give myself the gift of a clean home every two weeks. Write a Student Learning Plan and report cards or clean? I am choosing SLP’s and report cards any day of the week!

My last stop as I have gone down this list making exercise to compartmentalize what I do in my day-to-day life involves redefining the blue (Sexy Neck) and pink (mine) jobs in our lives as parents as we raise three amazing young men into adulthood. (It makes me incredibly happy-sad that our oldest is graduating in two years!!) At one of our weekly chats, Sexy Neck and I sat down and redid this list from over five years ago. The blue/pink job list now sits proudly on the fridge. I know what things I am taking care of and he knows what he’s doing. We always try to help each other out, which is a beautiful thing, but when we are in the busy seasons that happen in the magnificent world of education, we can always fall back on this list to keep things running smoothly.

Banking.

Cleaning.

Parenting jobs.

Compartmentalizing these three things so that I can find space to add a 28 hour work-week into our home learning, dog walking, movement loving family!

Have a fabulous Friday folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, Christianity, God, Jesus Christ, life, musings, Self-help

Be Knocking Off the Big Chunks

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Overwhelm? Have you ever felt it?

Our family has lived the last few years in overwhelm with a plethora of multi-faceted situations

Death of multiple family members and then grief.

Moving.

Full on jobs.

Changing jobs.

Boys growing up and the adjustment that takes.

Health issues.

And now here I sit today miraculous typing on my computer about what shifted for me.

No longer overwhelmed.

No longer feeling that my life is overwhelming.

Here is what changed:

I knocked off some “big chunks” in my life.

First and foremost, prayer, the bible, thoughts about God and weekly church services became a priority.

Second, I cleaned up my sleep hygiene. My phone went into the bathroom. I started a wind-down time before bed and I only brought my book and Sexy Neck to bed with me. (I wrote about this back in February.)

Third, I started moving. I have a good friend that is a physiotherapist that says “motion is lotion”. I really do believe that by simply walking, I helped myself move in a positive direction. It also have me time to think and ponder my life. In February, I started off with walking for 30 minutes per day. I added on cycling in May and my husband and I started a 30 minuted 3 times per week boot camp two weeks ago. I cannot tell you how much better I feel. This big chunk hasn’t been easy. You can see where I was at a few months ago here. I am proud to say I have been again walking around in a tank top this summer and feeling confident (and safe!) to be me.

Lastly, I am sure you have read this before, but part of my journey on this earth has been to be a “human being” rather than a “human doing”. I once got a trophy from my book club for being an “Actionator”. Yes, I make things happen and relaxation is not my strong suit! haha. My last big chunk has been to really notice things and attentively listen to what people are saying, especially the boys. This has been huge for me. I have felt calmer and more peaceful simply by looking and listening.

(Sidenote: One random other thing that didn’t fit into any of my four points that helped me a ton was I decluttered my front entry. You know that part of the house that everyone sees when they come to the door? Mel Robbins in a podcast about decluttering mentioned this and it has been a GAME CHANGER! Weird, but true. So satisfying!)

Spiritual life.

Sleep hygiene.

Movement.

Immersed in the world around me.

Those were my four big chunks that helped me shift so that I can now focus on the little chunks (work/life balance, emotional health, decluttering my home, meeting up with friends, fixing a watch battery that has been sitting on my dresser for years, organizing neighbourhood block parties… plus jumping into a new job on August 1st.)

What chunks would you like to knock off to start your healing journey?

Have a wonderful Wednesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

blogger, homeschooling, school, teaching, Wordsmith

Be Praying for Yourself

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When I started praying for the leadership of our school two years ago, I never knew that I would end up praying for myself.

On the post-it-note on my computer monitor I wrote:

🙏🏻 Wisdom

🙏🏻 Hope

🙏🏻 God to fill in the gap

🙏🏻 Encouragement/Strength

🤩 JOY

(Those that know me know that I LOVE post-it-notes.)

Yesterday, it became public knowledge that I will be starting a new job this summer. I will be the HCOS Regional Administrator for the NORTH! (Kind of like a Vice Principal in the campus system, but different because I teach and work in the virtual world of home learning.)

Yes, you heard it and no, we aren’t moving. I will be supporting and serving the teachers and families working and living in the north from our house here in KCity, but then travelling up north a few times per year for meetings and events. This northern girl will have part of her heart back in the north because of her beautiful work!

Who loves a good northern road trip? MEEEEEEEEE!

Williams Lake, Prince George, Tumbler Ridge, Burns Lake, Terrace, Dawson Creek, Fort St. John and wherever else I am lead to go… watch out, I am coming for a visit and most likely bringing the boys too! Isn’t it cool that I can bring my boys to work as well. My school truly loves and support families, including my own.

This is really the best of learning and teaching in all ways!

New job coming soon: August 1st, 2023

Have a super duper uper Saturday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Education, musings, Wordsmith

Be Wondering about Water, Garbage and Plastic

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🎶 Fish and Chips and Vinegar, vinegar, vinegar. Fish and Chips and Vinegar. Pepper, pepper, pepper salt. One bottle pop, two bottle pop, three bottle pop, four bottle pop, five bottle pop, six bottle pop, seven bottle pop, pop. Don’t throw your junk in my backyard, my backyard, my backyard. Don’t throw your junk in my backyard cause my backyard’s filled. 🎶

Anyone else remember this song? It came to mind today as I took a 75 kilometre (46.6 mile) bike ride around our beautiful valley this morning. I also pondered a few things about our beautiful, healing planet.

What would happen if every person in the world resolved never to buy a container that was composed of water or was water itself? Shampoo, lotion, laundry soap, cleaning products, juice, chicken broth are a few that come to mind. Imagine if products ONLY came in concentrated pacs or bars or granules and then we added the water to that product once we purchased it. I have no idea how this would work, as I sit here on a Sunday night, but I wonder how much money would be save in transporting costs and how would the world we live in change?

What would happen if everything that a manufacturer churned out, they also had to dispose of on their own property? How would our personal spending habits change if we had to dispose of every single product that we acquired in our own backyard? (Yes, now you see the connection to the song I was singing at the top. HAHA!) How would the cycle of consumerism profoundly change with these two patterns?

What would happen if every plastic product on earth was banned? I am not a scientist, but I have heard rumblings that recycling is the greatest myth of my generation. Plastics are mostly petroleum based and there are some scientists that believe that they are never destroyed, but simply get smaller… and smaller… and smaller…. (Yes, you can see what I am throwing out there!)

And that’s all for this Sunday night folks. Keep thinking, hugging and loving what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, encouragement, psychology, writing

Be Wondering Why I Wrote My May 28th, 2023 Blog Post?

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In the wake of what I wrote on May 28th, 2023, I have had many, many people reach out via phone call, messenger and text to express their shock at what I shared about my mental and physical journey the last few years.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also a sponge. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am a good listener, but I am also not great at sharing what I am experiencing. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am realizing that I need to create a circle of support where I can be seen and heard. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am one thousand million percent grateful that I wrote what I did and shared what I went through. I know that I truly shocked some of you, but I think it really reminds us that these last few years haven’t been easy for many people, whichever side of the “fence” you chose to be on. I wrote this post and had it sitting in my “drafts” for a few weeks, but I decided to publish it for three groups of people.

First, this last autumn season we had two very remarkable young woman living in K-City, one was my niece and the other was Bubba’s daughter, my oldest friend in the world’s daughter. It was such a special time to have them here. When I wrote this post, I thought of them and our three boys. Perhaps one of them will stumble on to this when they need it the most. I hope my sharing will help them is some small way.

I never wrote this post because I needed help right now or I wanted something from someone or I wanted to bring shame or guilt onto anyone else. My message was simply to help one other person, either now or in the future when someone stumbles upon that blog. One beloved friend wrote to me a few days after my blog: “I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for sharing your last post on Be Enough about re-claiming your health (mental and physical)…. Basically all you have been through and how you’ve described it is EXACTLY how I’ve felt the past 3 years.”. The second reason was simply to help one person feel less alone!

Lastly, I was also thinking of all the young people who have committed suicide these last three years. (And no, suicide was never an option or thought for me personally, but my darkest moments made me think about the hopelessness people must feel when they attempt or commit suicide.) Every day in Canada 11 people commit suicide and 200 people attempt it. Did you know that 75% of the people who commit suicide are male? The saddest part for me as I learned about suicide rates in our beautiful and “in need of healing” country was this rate is rising, not going down, with everything we know about mental health.

I wonder what would happen is more of us shared our stories, without worrying about judgement of being labelled or worrying about being put into a box or then having people try to “fix” us. I wonder if people were exactly where they are, when they are, how they are what our communities would look like?

And that’s all for this Thursday folks. Love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

author, Grief, health & fitness, life, Self-help, teaching, Wordsmith

Be Restarting Your Health Journey – vroom vroom

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I can count on my left hand those that know that in 2019, before Steve’s mom died, that I was training for an Ironman triathlon. My goal was to swim almost 4 kilometres (2.5 miles), bike 180 kilometres (112 miles) and finish it all off with a Run/walk a marathon (42 kms and 26 miles.). I gave up on that dream when she died and we spent every few weekends in Vancouver for a few months. 

I can count on no hands nor fingers those that know the depth of my physical and mental health struggles the last three years. Here’s the honest truth on what the big picture looked like for me:

🔆 Two summers of not wanting to get out of bed even when the sun streamed in my window. 

💪🏻 Two plus years of sheer willpower and “push” to get off my butt to exercise, which has been a first for me in my entire life. 

🧥700 days of hiding under extra-large clothing, even in 30 degree Celsius weather. 

🙈 700 days of hiding, to be honest. Not wanting to see people, run into people I know or even reach out to friends. 

🙏🏻Tried two different counsellors, neither were a good fit. (or is it “neither was”? hahha)

😩Reached out to no one nor shared with anyone the depth of the pit I felt that I had dug for myself. 

👀The heaviest weight I have ever been in my life, even more than my three pregnancies or after my mom died. (This sure doesn’t feel good!) 

And why I am writing about this now and what changed for me? 

Did I lose weight? Finally found a professional counsellor I could trust?  Started seeing other human beings, outside my work, on a regular basis? None of these things happened for me!  

Four things did changed for me and they all involved random conversations with other people when I stepped outside my four walls. The message I am going to share with my stories is simple: If you relate to any of the six points I wrote down above, don’t wait 700 days to reach outside of your four walls. Right now, listen to a podcast, text someone, go for a walk, ask your neighbour for an egg or simply reach out to another human being in any way that feels good for you. 

The four things that finally helped me make some really HUGE personal shifts took place over a six month period of time. 

First, I have always been someone who listens to podcasts when they do laundry or when I drive or go for a long solo walks. In October, I was introduced to a podcast that began THE shift. Mel Robbins, your twice weekly podcasts have been something that have given me so many tips, moved me to take some small steps and gave me the shovel that started my dig out of my mental and physical hole. Your life journey is powerful and I am grateful that you share with us all. I gave your ideas a try.

Second, in October, I was at my lowest point of this two plus year journey. I was in Vancouver and a friend knew I was in town. We went for a walk and she shared about an App that helped her with her eating habits and overall health. I gave it a try. 

Third, in April, Steve and I were out for our evening walk and we ran into some neighbours.  They shared that they were doing a “Couch to 5km” walk/run program that was simple and tailored to what you want to do. (This was humbling to consider as four years ago, I would run 20 kilometres for fun on a weekend!) I humbled myself and gave it a try. 

Lastly, at the end of April, I was at a teacher’s conference and three of my colleagues were sitting around a table. Suddenly, one of them shrieked about a job that was available at our school and said, “You would be amazing at that!”.  They immediately called over my boss and she wholeheartedly agreed.  I decided to apply. 

In all of these instances, I was showing up in the world as my unhealthiest, unhappiest, down in the lowest point in the second most challenging spot in my life.  (My mom’s death was and is still number one!) 

But, I just showed up and walked. 

I showed up and walked some more. 

And I simply did my job to the best of my ability! 

Now, things are shifting in radical and profound ways (more on that in a later post!). 

Be you. 

Exactly where you are. 

Show up, how and when you can. 

Reach outside those four walls around yours. 

And watch things unfold. 

Let my life be a testimony that there is always hope. 

The best is truly YET to come for me, Sexy Neck and our boys. 

And the best is YET to come for you too! 

Strap yourself in folks for what is to come and love what you do! 

Xoxo Joanna 

blogger, Education, Family, Grief, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Framing Your Job with One Thought

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 My one thought about my job today: I can be replaced in a minute.  The leadership of my school is so remarkable, I could probably be replaced in less than a minute.

Yes, it’s true for me and for you.  No one is irreplaceable in their work.

I recognized this shortly after my mom died and I fully grasped that she was truly irreplaceable.

Gone forever.

Never to be replaced.

Yes, we have had phenomenal people “fill in the vast gap” my mom left, but no one can restore her place in our lives as a mom and super nana.

A job is a unique arena of life as we all need to find ways to house and feed ourselves, but this great loss made me understand the temporality of work and life.

This morning, I am interviewing for a new job for the next school year. I am taking this mentality into my interview and I feel free.

Free to ponder.

Free to choose.

Free to open the door and see if this new opportunity will help me be a better wife, mom, friend, teacher and human being living on this earth.

Free to live!

So folks, as you ponder this next year ahead of you, what would you change if you knew you could be replaced in your job tomorrow, but never be replaced as a mother, father, daughter, brother, sister, cousin…?

Here temporarily.

Never to be replaced within your “family”.

Have an epic Tuesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna