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Be Multiplying in Multitudes in KCity

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This summer marked our tenth year of living in KCity. We chose a 1960’s fixer upper home in a beautiful older area of town which is 3.5 kilometres from downtown and the beach. In these ten years our property price has doubled, the traffic has become something you need to plan for/think about and the amount of portables at schools are often more than you could imagine that are allowed as they don’t have water or washrooms in them. 

The last five years in KCity has brought a serious housing shortage and an equal inflation of prices for every home and apartment. Our last two mayors and city councils have had a mandate to try and fix this problem. They have allowed secondary suites in most neighbourhoods and now they are choosing to allow homes morphing into grotesque cookie cutter monoliths called six story wooden framed apartments. (Yup, because of construction practices wooden frame apartment buildings can now go higher than four stories!)  

And this is why I chose to write my thoughts down today: Two years ago, City Council almost gave a building permit to a local chiropractor to change 3 homes, down the street from us, into an over fifty suite apartment building. It didn’t pass by one vote. From 3 homes to over 50!

Last week I saw this article: Enroute to our son’s trampoline gym, four homes are becoming 124 units AND there is a similar apartment building being built right across the street. The craziest part, which I have talked to one city councillor about, is that our city building code only requires 1.5 parking spots per apartment building. I am not sure why builders aren’t required to round up or even what 1.5 cars look like, but I do know the aftermath of this. More cars on the streets and less streets to bike on safely. Yes, as you know, we are a biking family. We love to bike as much as possible and this is why we chose where we live.

I am having a hard time with this city development and parking spot math. Properties are not simply doubling by adding a secondary suite, but they are growing more than 30 times the original vision and planning for our city with its roads, schools and parks. 

Things are multiplying by multitudes in our city, but I am not hearing anything about multiplying our current infrastructure that includes roads, parks, water, sewage, schooling or even how this is all going to impact our recycling program and garbage dump. 

I am concerned.

As one of the fastest growing cities in North America, how is this growth going to envelop and change our dry climate and mountain-bound valley?

How much growth would you want to see in your own city? What do my fellow Kelownites feel about this?

Happy third week of Advent my friends. I pray that God is bringing the JOY into your life. Love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, friendship, health & fitness, Jesus Christ, Wordsmith

Be Writing a Controversial FB Post (Oct. 29th, 2021)

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Two years ago, during C@vid, I made this post to encourage every single person in my life. Back then and now, I made a commitment to never share my personal opinion or share anything about my personal health during this time of the greatest science experience during our family’s life. We made the commitment to watch without judgement, to pray without ceasing and to support every single person in our lives.

After I posted these words, I received emails about waxing and masks plus judgement that I was anti-wax and anti-mask. I found this very interesting.

Here is the post from two years ago, and you can take a look for yourself and reflect on where you were at two years ago with your friends who were stressed working in health care, friends who were stressed in general and others that were discriminated against here in British Columbia because they wouldn’t share their health status.

Humbly, here we go with sharing the FB post that included my smiling face and a big old high five hand in the front of the frame:

“High five on this Friday 🖐🏻 to the people who are waxed and unwaxed. To people who are doing their best every day. 😅🤗 To the people grieving deep loss from C, to the people afraid to see their doctors because of C, to the friend who’s family won’t speak to her because she isn’t waxed (even though she is now waxed but isn’t telling them!), to people supporting children with new neurological issues and cousins with enlarged hearts due to waxing. To people’s whose passion is coaching, but no longer can because their doctor is not recommending they get waxed. I SEE YOU!!! 🤩😍 I am NOT a fan of coercion or incentives for people to get waxed. I am NOT a fan of people having to police 👮🏻 other people (unless you are a police officer, of course)🙏🏻It’s obvious to me looking at numerical data and the hearts of my AMAZING friends, we need to do something different than the 100% focus on waxing. 😳😳😳😳 I am a FAN of seeing people healthy and free!

🥰 Thank you to ALL our coaches TODAY, and ALWAYS, who pour into our children and inspire them daily. Sending you LOVE today. 💞💞“

… and that’s all folks, that was the post that I am sure has some of the people in my life judging me in a certain light. It simply is a reminder for me that “we don’t see things how THEY are, we see things how WE are.”

Keeping being you and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Christianity, Education, encouragement, Family, fun, God, musings, teenagers

Be Shifting a Grump

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🤔 Have you ever come across an Air Canada flight attendant that is obviously tired and grumpy? 

🤔 Do you have a relative that has an expiry date of one hour when your family visits and then they turn into a harsh, grumpy person? 

🤔 Are one of your teenagers waking up in a grumpy mood or bringing one home from school? 

💫 I have encountered all of these things and wanted to share some diddies today on what I like to do when coming across each of these grumps. 

✅ Ask them a question. This was my strategy for the flight attendant. I looked them in the eyes and simply asked: :Where is the best place you have flown?” She talked about when she used to live in Toronto and her trips to Boston, all with a smile. Boom shakalaka.  

✅ Remove yourself. Over the last 30 years as an adult, dealing with grumpy relatives has been a dance I have learned. Sadly, the best thing I have come up with has been to remove myself from the dance. I have tried asking questions or accommodating what they want to do or bringing gifts or food and try to be a lesser version of myself, but alas the removal from that person has been the best way to shift the grump.  A wise counsellor has also recommended meeting at neutral spots, (parks, coffee shops, restaurants etc.), but I have found that this only expands the expiry date by minutes not hours and is often not worth it.  Boo!  

✅ Smile and pray for them (or send them positive thoughts, if that’s more your jam). Ah teenagers. We are currently living with a tremendous trio of boys aged 16, 14 and almost 12. I feel as a parent, my job is to simply hold space for them as they deal with big emotions. Also, I want my teenagers to simply know I am here for them no matter what.  I really feel that a radiating smile and powerful prayers are like a force field that helps them and protects us as parents from being slimed by their “green, mucousy” grumpy ways. Yes, overall in life, I do think of grumpy people as being green and slimy. 🤣💚 

Don’t let anyone get their “stuff” on you.  

Random flight attendants. 

Relatives. 

Teenagers. 

All people that can slime you with their green grumpiness. 

As I say to my boys: Who’s in charge of your emotions? 

I am. 

I pray that my words will encourage you as you “live with” the people in your life with JOY and PEACE.  

Do you have a strategy for living a positive, joyful life no matter the emotional state of the people around you? Let me know. I always love to add tools to my emotional toolbox. 

Have an epic week folks and love what you do.  

Xoxo 

Joanna 

author, blogger, Grief, Parenting, words, Wordsmith

Be Having a Transplant after trying some Bandaids

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Within the last six months our family’s life has flipped upside down.

🚴🏻‍♀️ This morning on my bike ride, I was thinking about this transformation and the best metaphor that my mind could come up with was living with a really “bad oweee” (or hurt place) and healing it with bandaids versus having a transplant.

Ten years and one month ago we moved to K-City. The boys were almost 2, 4 and 6 years old. The day after we moved, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I spent the next six months doing all that I could to support her and my dad, while living in a new city with very young children. At this time my family of origin was unravelling before my eyes. I have an older sister and that’s all I would say about that plus a father whom simply wasn’t coping well with a partner who “did it all”, but now was dying before his eyes.

After my mom and Super Nana died, I gained weight and lost it. I was alone and lonely. I taught at an online school, substitute taught at our local public schools, taught physical education and also ventured into the business world as an entrepreneur selling two different products. I supported Sexy Neck as he moved from high school to middle school, to being in charge of an International program an hour away and then our local International program within K-City. Steve’s mom died as well as his beloved grandparents, and uncle. We said goodbye to our sweet Labrador, Summer and said hello to our Goldendoodle, Winter. I did all this on top of taking care of our beautiful, busy, athletic three boys while trying to make friends in a new city, be good friends to those I knew and going through a grieving process that is still often difficult to put into words.

Throughout this last decade, I was using a lot of bandaids.

Bandaid #1: Exercise was one of my favourite. Did you know that I was training for an Ironman when Covid hit? I was training over 20 hours per week during those years after I did a 70.3 triathlon (half Ironman) in 2018. Yup, exercise was a great bandaid for me to keep me going.

Bandaid #2: Busyness – By simply rocking my to-do list, I was able to hold things together. The list was never ending as I did 90% of the things around our home and it made me feel like I was “getting” somewhere, but really getting nowhere. It was just a bandaid.

Bandaid #3: Going down the social media “scroll hole”. I am not sure if this is an entrepreneurial thing, but social media because a bit too much for me throughout the middle part of this last decade. I would spend hours on Instagram or Facebook. I would plan what I wanted to share and it began to takeover my mind in many ways. Sidenote: I am very, very glad that I didn’t live in the era of social media as a teen. I think that would have really messed me up mentally. Comparison is truly the thief of joy.

I am not saying that Bandaids are a bad thing. They got me to where I am today and helped me realize what I wanted my life to look like on a daily basis. I now believe we need to rip these bandaids off to do the true, deep transplanting that our bodies, mind and spirits needs.

Over these last six months, I have gotten a transplant.

Transplant #1: Both Sexy Neck and I have changed jobs. Steve stepped down and I stepped up to serve our schools in unique and fun manners. We are both blessed to be able to serve teachers, students and their families in very interesting ways. It has been transformative for us both.

Transplant #2: We have started to share the responsibilities around the house and the boys are helping more. We are living in the “15 minutes per day” of everyone “helping the family” and we are finding a great rhythm to help our home hum with happiness and peace. It is waaaaaaay better than having one person, namely moi, do it all! Even going through the busiest week of the year last week, we had a tremendous seven days with no major stress or meltdowns. We were “humming”.

Transplant #3: I took social media off my phone and it hasn’t come back on. I barely exist on there anymore and I feel more present and peaceful in my daily life. I hear from friends in different ways now, in a more one-on-one authentic way. I have also let many “friends” go virtually and physically. My heart is happy.

Transplant #4: This summer, we watched our city go through a horrid wildfire where over 200 people lost their homes and our church camp, that the boys were at weeks before, burnt to the ground. This made us reflect on many things, including our physical needs, what we value and our ongoing spiritual life with Jesus.

Transplant #5: Sexy Neck and I joined a gym. We are simply committed to going 30 minutes, 3 times a week. It is a beautiful balance for us to get off the metaphorical treadmill and simply enjoy throwing around some weights and being together. Just like Goldilocks, not too much, not too little, just right. It is a major transplant for two recovering high performance athletes who have gotten grossly “out of shape”.

In ALL ways, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and professionally, it has been a transformative transplant. I feel like the bandaids in all areas of our lives have been ripped off and as a family we are experiencing a “transplant”. There is a newness to our lives, almost like we are moving to Kelowna for the first time, but this time we are healed and whole and not simply living in a deep hole of grief. I am excited to see what God has in store for us in this next decade.

If you are in the state of slapping on some good old bandaids, I hope you know that that works. For the season you are in, the bandaids will hold things together, but hold hope for the transplant. Sitting where I am today, I have to tell you that this is a pretty sweet place to be within my mind, body and spirit. Not perfect, but I feel like I can breathe again.

Bandaids.

Helping

Holding.

Breathe.

Hope.

Newness.

Wholeness.

Transplant.

And that’s all for me on this Sunny Sunday. I pray that you love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, Christianity, encouragement, Family, God, life, Wordsmith

Be Sleepless in Edmonton

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Last week, I returned to the town where I went to University as our oldest was competing in his first trampoline nationals. (Sidenote: You can see his journey unfold starting tonight on his Youtube channel: jcanflip) I hadn’t been back to the University of Alberta in at least a decade and I was giddy with excitement for this trip. Our oldest was going to be staying in the Lister Hall residence, where I spent two “University years” of my life. JC was competing in the Butterdome, where I did many courses and also spent time working out. We managed to stay at the campus hotel about a ten minute walk from the venue which was the hotel where my mom cooked many Thanksgiving dinners when I was playing volleyball. Did I set the scene on what a special trip this was going to be?

I spent the whole week of our time in Edmonton, sleepless. My mind wouldn’t shut off at night and I often woke up feeling unsettled and unrested. I have never had a stretch of sleeplessness this long in my entire life. Previously, after a few nights of sleeplessness, I would often fall asleep out of pure exhaustion, but this never happened last week. I didn’t sleep well and wake up rested until eight nights later when I fell asleep in our bed at home.

These were my few lessons from these eight days and nights:

✅ It is one hundred percent okay if I have sleepless nights. It didn’t affect my mood or any of my relationships with myself or others. I shouldn’t have “worried” about my lack of sleep so much when I was lying in bed nor when I was awake during the day.

✅ It is really important to be excited about the things we are able to do, but to also manage my personal expectations. I was excited to “go back”, but my expectations didn’t line up with reality. Can we ever really “go back”?

As I continue to recover from these eight days away, I know that more lessons will come my way, but I wanted to encourage anyone that may be having “sleepless nights” right now. Your body will get the rest it needs and it’s okay to lie in bed resting and awake. Our bodies and minds are truly incredible. Plus, you know me and I believe that God’s got us and can work through these sleepless nights. I know He did some deep work in me through these nights.

That’s all for this Friday night folks. Have an amazing weekend and love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

musings, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Living Through Bumper Cars in a Car Wash

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If you have ever had this experience or know someone that has, I would like to know.

It was something that I didn’t even know could happen. I had never spent a single second of my 49 years here on earth thinking about this and I will admit I have thought of quite a few other catastrophic situations.

Yesterday, I had a very bizarre experience.

I had decided to take my friend’s daughter’s car to get a car wash and fill her tank up with gasoline for her birthday. (It was parked at our house for the weekend.) I filled the car up with gas and then was driving to the car wash. I was going to wand wash it, but was feeling lazy so I decided to zip into the new car wash with the double bays of fancy automatic, colourful, cleaning apparatuses.

The next part of this story makes me feel physically ill: As you are told to do, I drove the car into the track with my left tires perfectly place in the rollers. I put the car in neutral, took my hands off the wheel and enjoyed the gift of an automatic car wash. I may have even let out a sigh at this point.

I was in the soap cycle, with the colourful splatters of foamy soap hitting the front windshield and the big, floppy rollers whipping by the windows, when I felt a “thump”. It felt like I hit something. Then a few moments later I felt another “thump”. I immediately knew after the second thump that something wasn’t right. My heart rate went up and I was sweating. I couldn’t see a single thing. It wasn’t until I felt a “bump” from behind that I knew that something was really wrong. And then there was another “bump” from behind. I now put my foot on the brake to try to get all this thumping and bumping to stop. And then the car wash finally turned off.

The soap started streaking down the windows and I could see. I opened the window. The car in front appeared to have come off the track and wasn’t moving forward. The car behind was directly behind me. Three cars all within one section of the carwash.

Playing bumper cars.

No sight.

Just thumping.

And bumping.

In the hot, colourful, foam-filled car wash.

Apparently this isn’t called car wash bumper cars, it is called “a tunnel collision”, according to the car wash where this happened. The fault lies with the person who held up the tunnel and who caused the crash, even though we were all, hopefully, in neutral and running on a track that the car wash had created. According to the manager, the person in front may have taken their car out of neutral, grabbed the steering wheel or had done something else for us all to get jammed up and thus bumped around. But the car wash never stopped. We all keep moving along and thumping and bumping.

Our friend’s daughter’s car ended up with three scratches on the back bumper from the license plate of the car behind it bumping into it over and over. I found at that the car in front was an older gentleman had turned the wheel and therefore knocking his tires out of the track. He took off before anyone could talk to him.

I was given an ultimate wash to go back through the “tunnel” to get all the soap off. I did do it because I didn’t want to return the car with soap and streaks all over it, on top of the three scratches. I did make sure there was no one in front of me in the “tunnel” nor anyone behind me, but I will admit it was a stretch for me to go back through that automatic car wash, aka bumper car car wash. I am not sure this will be a service that I use again. I did ask the manager of the car wash, “How often does this happen in the car wash?” They handled the entire incident beautifully, but this question they didn’t answer. Hmmmm….

I will leave this to you, my beautiful blogging friends, to let me know if you have heard of this happening before or am I the first?

Happy Tuesday folks. Remember cars aren’t meant to be bumper cars and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

P.S. Sorry again Bubba!

July 28th, 2023 Update ~ The car wash company had agreed to fix the scratches on our friend’s car, but the whole hard plastic bumper was going to need to be replaced. The car wash company backed out. They told us it is the fault of the person in front who went out of the track. We were all in neutral and isn’t it the fault of the employees who didn’t shut down the system when they saw me bonking the car in front and then got bonked from behind which caused the accident? We shall see what unfolds folks.

author, blogger, encouragement, psychology, writing

Be Wondering Why I Wrote My May 28th, 2023 Blog Post?

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In the wake of what I wrote on May 28th, 2023, I have had many, many people reach out via phone call, messenger and text to express their shock at what I shared about my mental and physical journey the last few years.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also a sponge. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am a good listener, but I am also not great at sharing what I am experiencing. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am realizing that I need to create a circle of support where I can be seen and heard. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am one thousand million percent grateful that I wrote what I did and shared what I went through. I know that I truly shocked some of you, but I think it really reminds us that these last few years haven’t been easy for many people, whichever side of the “fence” you chose to be on. I wrote this post and had it sitting in my “drafts” for a few weeks, but I decided to publish it for three groups of people.

First, this last autumn season we had two very remarkable young woman living in K-City, one was my niece and the other was Bubba’s daughter, my oldest friend in the world’s daughter. It was such a special time to have them here. When I wrote this post, I thought of them and our three boys. Perhaps one of them will stumble on to this when they need it the most. I hope my sharing will help them is some small way.

I never wrote this post because I needed help right now or I wanted something from someone or I wanted to bring shame or guilt onto anyone else. My message was simply to help one other person, either now or in the future when someone stumbles upon that blog. One beloved friend wrote to me a few days after my blog: “I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for sharing your last post on Be Enough about re-claiming your health (mental and physical)…. Basically all you have been through and how you’ve described it is EXACTLY how I’ve felt the past 3 years.”. The second reason was simply to help one person feel less alone!

Lastly, I was also thinking of all the young people who have committed suicide these last three years. (And no, suicide was never an option or thought for me personally, but my darkest moments made me think about the hopelessness people must feel when they attempt or commit suicide.) Every day in Canada 11 people commit suicide and 200 people attempt it. Did you know that 75% of the people who commit suicide are male? The saddest part for me as I learned about suicide rates in our beautiful and “in need of healing” country was this rate is rising, not going down, with everything we know about mental health.

I wonder what would happen is more of us shared our stories, without worrying about judgement of being labelled or worrying about being put into a box or then having people try to “fix” us. I wonder if people were exactly where they are, when they are, how they are what our communities would look like?

And that’s all for this Thursday folks. Love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

blogger, Education, Family, Grief, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Framing Your Job with One Thought

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 My one thought about my job today: I can be replaced in a minute.  The leadership of my school is so remarkable, I could probably be replaced in less than a minute.

Yes, it’s true for me and for you.  No one is irreplaceable in their work.

I recognized this shortly after my mom died and I fully grasped that she was truly irreplaceable.

Gone forever.

Never to be replaced.

Yes, we have had phenomenal people “fill in the vast gap” my mom left, but no one can restore her place in our lives as a mom and super nana.

A job is a unique arena of life as we all need to find ways to house and feed ourselves, but this great loss made me understand the temporality of work and life.

This morning, I am interviewing for a new job for the next school year. I am taking this mentality into my interview and I feel free.

Free to ponder.

Free to choose.

Free to open the door and see if this new opportunity will help me be a better wife, mom, friend, teacher and human being living on this earth.

Free to live!

So folks, as you ponder this next year ahead of you, what would you change if you knew you could be replaced in your job tomorrow, but never be replaced as a mother, father, daughter, brother, sister, cousin…?

Here temporarily.

Never to be replaced within your “family”.

Have an epic Tuesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna