Category Archives: blogger

blogger, friendship, teaching, Wordsmith

Be Talking TO or ABOUT People

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I was a “full-on”, “on purpose” teenager.  I played volleyball, basketball and ringette.  I travelled all over western Canada for my sports. I played flute in the band as an out-of-the timetable course. I had a boyfriend in grades 10 through 12 and a large circle of friends in my neighbourhood and around the city. I enjoyed Wing Wednesday at Earls on the bypass and even went to park my car at McDonald’s to see what everyone was doing on weekend nights that I was in town.  I am not sure if I was oblivious to gossip, but I definitely lived on the outside of it as I was having too much fun living life. 

Lately, as I contemplate my last few years, I realize that there are two kinds of people in life: Those that talk TO you and those that talk ABOUT you. (I am not sure how I skipped learning this in high school, but perhaps I got lucky learning this now!) 

If you are saying my name and I am not physically within ear shot, yup that’s talking ABOUT me.  If you have an encouragement or thought about something I did and you tell me directly, with no third party involved, that’s talking TO me.  For me, there is not a grey area for talking about and to someone, even if you are praying for them.  One can build someone up and the other rips them apart, step-by-step.  

Why did I decide to write this today. Well folks, I am hoping that as you walk through life that you will have people around you that always talk TO you. I would rather be around people that are busy bodies than spend five seconds with a busybody.  

I hope this encourages you on your walk through life today. Have a terrific Tuesday and love what you do. 

Xoxo Joanna 

blogger, Flexibility, Wordsmith, writing

Be Wondering about the “To Me”

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I have always loved the perspective of things happening “for us” rather than “to us”.  Lately, I have been wondering about the mental benefit of making this division in my mind between the words “for me” and “to me”. (You know how much I love words and my mind often does play mental gymnastics with words.)

In the last four months, I have had three things happen in my professional and personal life that I feel were definitely done “to me”.  Things that affected my life, without any type of discussion or collaboration beforehand. In one single moment, my life shifted. 

Fundamental.

Unprovoked.

Future shifting.

Life altering changes.

They have all ended up progressing me towards a positive, as I know when unforeseen things happen we can either become wounded or wise. I always choose wise.  But it still feels like these three things were foisted on me.

The latest example was my childhood kitchen table. The wooden, handcrafted fifty year old table that we ate every dinner at together as a family, celebrated birthdays and Christmases at, where my mom did her marking and my dad did his bookkeeping for his business. The hub of my family home growing up in Northern British Columbia where many memories were made. One night, a few weeks ago, I received a text from my dad with a picture of a new dining room set. Where had the kitchen table gone you ask? My father had suddenly decided to gift it to his girlfriend’s son. This one moment with the loss of my childhood table, which symbolized so many things about my sweet mom, brought me to my knees and made me reflect on all these moments in the last four months where things were simply done.

Gone.

Without thought of me.

Without any conversation beforehand.

Nothing I can say to change things “back”.

Done.

Unrecoverable.

Unchangeable.

Simply done and done.

As I sit in the sun today, I am not reframing these three events so that they sit better in my soul, I am simply sitting with this feeling and becoming wiser in who I allow into my life, what I hold tightly to and how I am spending my time.  Time is our greatest commodity friends.

Who? 

What? 

When? 

These are all up to me and allow me to live with JOY even when things happen “for” and “to” me.  

I am enough. 

You are enough. 

Keep being conscious of your who, what and when. 

Happy wonderful Wednesday folks and love what you do.

Xoxo Joanna 

Aging, blogger, Grief, life, love, positivity, women

Be Having Grandma Hands 

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I was hanging out with twin three years old last week and one of the sweet souls grabbed my hand and exclaimed, “You have grandma hands!” 

I wanted to cry as I looked down at my hands. 

I realized in this moment that I have MY MOM’S HANDS! 

I almost bawled. 

I cannot even put into words the pure JOY that I felt. If I can pour a portion of the love that my mom poured into the world through her life AND her hands, I will be blessed.  

Grandma hands. 

To bless. 

To give. 

To share. 

To love. 

Thank you Jesus for giving me this vision about my hands. 

Thank you for the privilege to live long enough to have Grandma hands.

Happy Saturday lovely folks and love what you do. Xoxo 

Joanna 

blogger, Goals, musings, Wordsmith

Be Adding More Fun F’s to 2024

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In early January, I posted five F’s that were my goals for 2024:

1️⃣ Fitness

2️⃣ Have Fun with Friends

3️⃣ Find Fantastic Fiction

4️⃣ Flourish in the Fine Art of Frosting a Fabulous Cake

5️⃣ Frolic Across Canada

I feel eager to share that that I am rocking and rolling through the top 3 F’s. 6 workouts done, lots of fun with friends and I have been reading some fantastic fiction. WOOP WOOP! We have our first birthday in the house in April, so I have a few months to find someone who will lead me in the art of frosting a cake and our frolicking across Canada dates are booked! Can I get another woop woop?

I had left my goals out on the kitchen counter for a week or so and suddenly I started seeing more F’s for 2024, so I have added to my list.

Here are the latest F’s I am excited about for 2024:

🤩 Faith-filled, festive fun with the boys: I have been trying to play more games, plan more get togethers and surprises for the boys the last few weeks. It’s brought a beautiful lightness and joy to our home.

🤩 Flourishing romance with Sexy Neck: After Steve was able to take a whole two weeks off at Christmas, the first in seven years, I realized how much I really missed spending time with him. We have been enjoying working out together, doing projects together and talking about daily life on a regular basis. What a gift!

🤩 Fun with Finances: As a girl who loves a good spreadsheet budget, this is a really fun activity for Steve and I to do together. We are updating our expenses and especially looking at our grocery bill and “extras” that we spent our money on. I am excited to see what shakes down and how we can save and give away more. Earn more, give more! That’s fun!

And that’s all folks, just a little update on the F’s goals that keep morphing into more in twenty twenty-four.

If you have a word or goals or some F’s to share for 2024, I would love to hear them. Big hugs to you all.

Have Sunday funday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Boys, fun, musings, Wordsmith, writing

Be Sharing Random Shower Thoughts

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Let’s kick off 2024 with some fun!

Our twelve year old, OC, has been sharing “random shower thoughts” from various websites he has found through his searches. (Sidenote: Through writing this blog, he showed me he has a whole files section on his device with these random shower thought jokes.) OC will share these thoughts at meals and on car rides and it’s always fun to see what makes our family howl. Here’s a few that made me chuckle out loud:

😂 “Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”

🤣 “Beans bags are just boneless sofas.”

😅 “Math is the only place where someone would buy 60 watermelons and 40 cantaloupes and no one asks any questions.”

😉 “If the earth was flat, the edge would be a tourist attraction.”

😝 “I correct autocorrect more than it corrects me.”

🎢 “Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster going 100 km/h, but a security camera can’t get a clear photo of a robber standing still.”

🍅🤮”If tomatoes are fruit, then ketchup is jam.”

🍎”Why aren’t iPhone chargers called Apple juice?”

💪🏻 “Pregnant women are the only true body builders.”

🤣”Maybe urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by the sinks and asked, ‘Why not?’.”

😂 Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that’s entirely credits.” (Shoutout to all my friends with Grad’s this year – both high school and university. There are quite a few of you!)

🤣 “Remember when teachers use to say, ‘You will never be walking around with a calculator in your pocket!’. Well look at us now.”

🌮 “If you weigh 99 pounds and you eat a pound of nachos, are you now 1% nachos?”.

🧼 “If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor now clean or is the soap dirty?”.

💻 “If Apple made a car, would it still have windows?”

😜 “If you are waiting for the waiter, are you the waiter?”.

🤣 “If you work as security at a Samsung store, does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?” (Throwback to our Disneyland trip in 2023.)

😂 “Why is the pizza box a square if the pizza is a circle and the slice is a triangle?”

And that’s all folks, I hope you have a fun start to the year in all ways.

Happy Monday and love what you do.

Xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, writing

Be Multiplying in Multitudes in KCity

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This summer marked our tenth year of living in KCity. We chose a 1960’s fixer upper home in a beautiful older area of town which is 3.5 kilometres from downtown and the beach. In these ten years our property price has doubled, the traffic has become something you need to plan for/think about and the amount of portables at schools are often more than you could imagine that are allowed as they don’t have water or washrooms in them. 

The last five years in KCity has brought a serious housing shortage and an equal inflation of prices for every home and apartment. Our last two mayors and city councils have had a mandate to try and fix this problem. They have allowed secondary suites in most neighbourhoods and now they are choosing to allow homes morphing into grotesque cookie cutter monoliths called six story wooden framed apartments. (Yup, because of construction practices wooden frame apartment buildings can now go higher than four stories!)  

And this is why I chose to write my thoughts down today: Two years ago, City Council almost gave a building permit to a local chiropractor to change 3 homes, down the street from us, into an over fifty suite apartment building. It didn’t pass by one vote. From 3 homes to over 50!

Last week I saw this article: Enroute to our son’s trampoline gym, four homes are becoming 124 units AND there is a similar apartment building being built right across the street. The craziest part, which I have talked to one city councillor about, is that our city building code only requires 1.5 parking spots per apartment building. I am not sure why builders aren’t required to round up or even what 1.5 cars look like, but I do know the aftermath of this. More cars on the streets and less streets to bike on safely. Yes, as you know, we are a biking family. We love to bike as much as possible and this is why we chose where we live.

I am having a hard time with this city development and parking spot math. Properties are not simply doubling by adding a secondary suite, but they are growing more than 30 times the original vision and planning for our city with its roads, schools and parks. 

Things are multiplying by multitudes in our city, but I am not hearing anything about multiplying our current infrastructure that includes roads, parks, water, sewage, schooling or even how this is all going to impact our recycling program and garbage dump. 

I am concerned.

As one of the fastest growing cities in North America, how is this growth going to envelop and change our dry climate and mountain-bound valley?

How much growth would you want to see in your own city? What do my fellow Kelownites feel about this?

Happy third week of Advent my friends. I pray that God is bringing the JOY into your life. Love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, friendship, health & fitness, Jesus Christ, Wordsmith

Be Writing a Controversial FB Post (Oct. 29th, 2021)

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Two years ago, during C@vid, I made this post to encourage every single person in my life. Back then and now, I made a commitment to never share my personal opinion or share anything about my personal health during this time of the greatest science experience during our family’s life. We made the commitment to watch without judgement, to pray without ceasing and to support every single person in our lives.

After I posted these words, I received emails about waxing and masks plus judgement that I was anti-wax and anti-mask. I found this very interesting.

Here is the post from two years ago, and you can take a look for yourself and reflect on where you were at two years ago with your friends who were stressed working in health care, friends who were stressed in general and others that were discriminated against here in British Columbia because they wouldn’t share their health status.

Humbly, here we go with sharing the FB post that included my smiling face and a big old high five hand in the front of the frame:

“High five on this Friday 🖐🏻 to the people who are waxed and unwaxed. To people who are doing their best every day. 😅🤗 To the people grieving deep loss from C, to the people afraid to see their doctors because of C, to the friend who’s family won’t speak to her because she isn’t waxed (even though she is now waxed but isn’t telling them!), to people supporting children with new neurological issues and cousins with enlarged hearts due to waxing. To people’s whose passion is coaching, but no longer can because their doctor is not recommending they get waxed. I SEE YOU!!! 🤩😍 I am NOT a fan of coercion or incentives for people to get waxed. I am NOT a fan of people having to police 👮🏻 other people (unless you are a police officer, of course)🙏🏻It’s obvious to me looking at numerical data and the hearts of my AMAZING friends, we need to do something different than the 100% focus on waxing. 😳😳😳😳 I am a FAN of seeing people healthy and free!

🥰 Thank you to ALL our coaches TODAY, and ALWAYS, who pour into our children and inspire them daily. Sending you LOVE today. 💞💞“

… and that’s all folks, that was the post that I am sure has some of the people in my life judging me in a certain light. It simply is a reminder for me that “we don’t see things how THEY are, we see things how WE are.”

Keeping being you and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Grief, Parenting, words, Wordsmith

Be Having a Transplant after trying some Bandaids

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Within the last six months our family’s life has flipped upside down.

🚴🏻‍♀️ This morning on my bike ride, I was thinking about this transformation and the best metaphor that my mind could come up with was living with a really “bad oweee” (or hurt place) and healing it with bandaids versus having a transplant.

Ten years and one month ago we moved to K-City. The boys were almost 2, 4 and 6 years old. The day after we moved, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I spent the next six months doing all that I could to support her and my dad, while living in a new city with very young children. At this time my family of origin was unravelling before my eyes. I have an older sister and that’s all I would say about that plus a father whom simply wasn’t coping well with a partner who “did it all”, but now was dying before his eyes.

After my mom and Super Nana died, I gained weight and lost it. I was alone and lonely. I taught at an online school, substitute taught at our local public schools, taught physical education and also ventured into the business world as an entrepreneur selling two different products. I supported Sexy Neck as he moved from high school to middle school, to being in charge of an International program an hour away and then our local International program within K-City. Steve’s mom died as well as his beloved grandparents, and uncle. We said goodbye to our sweet Labrador, Summer and said hello to our Goldendoodle, Winter. I did all this on top of taking care of our beautiful, busy, athletic three boys while trying to make friends in a new city, be good friends to those I knew and going through a grieving process that is still often difficult to put into words.

Throughout this last decade, I was using a lot of bandaids.

Bandaid #1: Exercise was one of my favourite. Did you know that I was training for an Ironman when Covid hit? I was training over 20 hours per week during those years after I did a 70.3 triathlon (half Ironman) in 2018. Yup, exercise was a great bandaid for me to keep me going.

Bandaid #2: Busyness – By simply rocking my to-do list, I was able to hold things together. The list was never ending as I did 90% of the things around our home and it made me feel like I was “getting” somewhere, but really getting nowhere. It was just a bandaid.

Bandaid #3: Going down the social media “scroll hole”. I am not sure if this is an entrepreneurial thing, but social media because a bit too much for me throughout the middle part of this last decade. I would spend hours on Instagram or Facebook. I would plan what I wanted to share and it began to takeover my mind in many ways. Sidenote: I am very, very glad that I didn’t live in the era of social media as a teen. I think that would have really messed me up mentally. Comparison is truly the thief of joy.

I am not saying that Bandaids are a bad thing. They got me to where I am today and helped me realize what I wanted my life to look like on a daily basis. I now believe we need to rip these bandaids off to do the true, deep transplanting that our bodies, mind and spirits needs.

Over these last six months, I have gotten a transplant.

Transplant #1: Both Sexy Neck and I have changed jobs. Steve stepped down and I stepped up to serve our schools in unique and fun manners. We are both blessed to be able to serve teachers, students and their families in very interesting ways. It has been transformative for us both.

Transplant #2: We have started to share the responsibilities around the house and the boys are helping more. We are living in the “15 minutes per day” of everyone “helping the family” and we are finding a great rhythm to help our home hum with happiness and peace. It is waaaaaaay better than having one person, namely moi, do it all! Even going through the busiest week of the year last week, we had a tremendous seven days with no major stress or meltdowns. We were “humming”.

Transplant #3: I took social media off my phone and it hasn’t come back on. I barely exist on there anymore and I feel more present and peaceful in my daily life. I hear from friends in different ways now, in a more one-on-one authentic way. I have also let many “friends” go virtually and physically. My heart is happy.

Transplant #4: This summer, we watched our city go through a horrid wildfire where over 200 people lost their homes and our church camp, that the boys were at weeks before, burnt to the ground. This made us reflect on many things, including our physical needs, what we value and our ongoing spiritual life with Jesus.

Transplant #5: Sexy Neck and I joined a gym. We are simply committed to going 30 minutes, 3 times a week. It is a beautiful balance for us to get off the metaphorical treadmill and simply enjoy throwing around some weights and being together. Just like Goldilocks, not too much, not too little, just right. It is a major transplant for two recovering high performance athletes who have gotten grossly “out of shape”.

In ALL ways, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and professionally, it has been a transformative transplant. I feel like the bandaids in all areas of our lives have been ripped off and as a family we are experiencing a “transplant”. There is a newness to our lives, almost like we are moving to Kelowna for the first time, but this time we are healed and whole and not simply living in a deep hole of grief. I am excited to see what God has in store for us in this next decade.

If you are in the state of slapping on some good old bandaids, I hope you know that that works. For the season you are in, the bandaids will hold things together, but hold hope for the transplant. Sitting where I am today, I have to tell you that this is a pretty sweet place to be within my mind, body and spirit. Not perfect, but I feel like I can breathe again.

Bandaids.

Helping

Holding.

Breathe.

Hope.

Newness.

Wholeness.

Transplant.

And that’s all for me on this Sunny Sunday. I pray that you love what you do.

xoxo Joanna