Category Archives: blogger

author, blogger, friendship, health & fitness, Jesus Christ, Wordsmith

Be Writing a Controversial FB Post (Oct. 29th, 2021)

2 Comments

Two years ago, during C@vid, I made this post to encourage every single person in my life. Back then and now, I made a commitment to never share my personal opinion or share anything about my personal health during this time of the greatest science experience during our family’s life. We made the commitment to watch without judgement, to pray without ceasing and to support every single person in our lives.

After I posted these words, I received emails about waxing and masks plus judgement that I was anti-wax and anti-mask. I found this very interesting.

Here is the post from two years ago, and you can take a look for yourself and reflect on where you were at two years ago with your friends who were stressed working in health care, friends who were stressed in general and others that were discriminated against here in British Columbia because they wouldn’t share their health status.

Humbly, here we go with sharing the FB post that included my smiling face and a big old high five hand in the front of the frame:

“High five on this Friday 🖐🏻 to the people who are waxed and unwaxed. To people who are doing their best every day. 😅🤗 To the people grieving deep loss from C, to the people afraid to see their doctors because of C, to the friend who’s family won’t speak to her because she isn’t waxed (even though she is now waxed but isn’t telling them!), to people supporting children with new neurological issues and cousins with enlarged hearts due to waxing. To people’s whose passion is coaching, but no longer can because their doctor is not recommending they get waxed. I SEE YOU!!! 🤩😍 I am NOT a fan of coercion or incentives for people to get waxed. I am NOT a fan of people having to police 👮🏻 other people (unless you are a police officer, of course)🙏🏻It’s obvious to me looking at numerical data and the hearts of my AMAZING friends, we need to do something different than the 100% focus on waxing. 😳😳😳😳 I am a FAN of seeing people healthy and free!

🥰 Thank you to ALL our coaches TODAY, and ALWAYS, who pour into our children and inspire them daily. Sending you LOVE today. 💞💞“

… and that’s all folks, that was the post that I am sure has some of the people in my life judging me in a certain light. It simply is a reminder for me that “we don’t see things how THEY are, we see things how WE are.”

Keeping being you and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Grief, Parenting, words, Wordsmith

Be Having a Transplant after trying some Bandaids

12 Comments

Within the last six months our family’s life has flipped upside down.

🚴🏻‍♀️ This morning on my bike ride, I was thinking about this transformation and the best metaphor that my mind could come up with was living with a really “bad oweee” (or hurt place) and healing it with bandaids versus having a transplant.

Ten years and one month ago we moved to K-City. The boys were almost 2, 4 and 6 years old. The day after we moved, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I spent the next six months doing all that I could to support her and my dad, while living in a new city with very young children. At this time my family of origin was unravelling before my eyes. I have an older sister and that’s all I would say about that plus a father whom simply wasn’t coping well with a partner who “did it all”, but now was dying before his eyes.

After my mom and Super Nana died, I gained weight and lost it. I was alone and lonely. I taught at an online school, substitute taught at our local public schools, taught physical education and also ventured into the business world as an entrepreneur selling two different products. I supported Sexy Neck as he moved from high school to middle school, to being in charge of an International program an hour away and then our local International program within K-City. Steve’s mom died as well as his beloved grandparents, and uncle. We said goodbye to our sweet Labrador, Summer and said hello to our Goldendoodle, Winter. I did all this on top of taking care of our beautiful, busy, athletic three boys while trying to make friends in a new city, be good friends to those I knew and going through a grieving process that is still often difficult to put into words.

Throughout this last decade, I was using a lot of bandaids.

Bandaid #1: Exercise was one of my favourite. Did you know that I was training for an Ironman when Covid hit? I was training over 20 hours per week during those years after I did a 70.3 triathlon (half Ironman) in 2018. Yup, exercise was a great bandaid for me to keep me going.

Bandaid #2: Busyness – By simply rocking my to-do list, I was able to hold things together. The list was never ending as I did 90% of the things around our home and it made me feel like I was “getting” somewhere, but really getting nowhere. It was just a bandaid.

Bandaid #3: Going down the social media “scroll hole”. I am not sure if this is an entrepreneurial thing, but social media because a bit too much for me throughout the middle part of this last decade. I would spend hours on Instagram or Facebook. I would plan what I wanted to share and it began to takeover my mind in many ways. Sidenote: I am very, very glad that I didn’t live in the era of social media as a teen. I think that would have really messed me up mentally. Comparison is truly the thief of joy.

I am not saying that Bandaids are a bad thing. They got me to where I am today and helped me realize what I wanted my life to look like on a daily basis. I now believe we need to rip these bandaids off to do the true, deep transplanting that our bodies, mind and spirits needs.

Over these last six months, I have gotten a transplant.

Transplant #1: Both Sexy Neck and I have changed jobs. Steve stepped down and I stepped up to serve our schools in unique and fun manners. We are both blessed to be able to serve teachers, students and their families in very interesting ways. It has been transformative for us both.

Transplant #2: We have started to share the responsibilities around the house and the boys are helping more. We are living in the “15 minutes per day” of everyone “helping the family” and we are finding a great rhythm to help our home hum with happiness and peace. It is waaaaaaay better than having one person, namely moi, do it all! Even going through the busiest week of the year last week, we had a tremendous seven days with no major stress or meltdowns. We were “humming”.

Transplant #3: I took social media off my phone and it hasn’t come back on. I barely exist on there anymore and I feel more present and peaceful in my daily life. I hear from friends in different ways now, in a more one-on-one authentic way. I have also let many “friends” go virtually and physically. My heart is happy.

Transplant #4: This summer, we watched our city go through a horrid wildfire where over 200 people lost their homes and our church camp, that the boys were at weeks before, burnt to the ground. This made us reflect on many things, including our physical needs, what we value and our ongoing spiritual life with Jesus.

Transplant #5: Sexy Neck and I joined a gym. We are simply committed to going 30 minutes, 3 times a week. It is a beautiful balance for us to get off the metaphorical treadmill and simply enjoy throwing around some weights and being together. Just like Goldilocks, not too much, not too little, just right. It is a major transplant for two recovering high performance athletes who have gotten grossly “out of shape”.

In ALL ways, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and professionally, it has been a transformative transplant. I feel like the bandaids in all areas of our lives have been ripped off and as a family we are experiencing a “transplant”. There is a newness to our lives, almost like we are moving to Kelowna for the first time, but this time we are healed and whole and not simply living in a deep hole of grief. I am excited to see what God has in store for us in this next decade.

If you are in the state of slapping on some good old bandaids, I hope you know that that works. For the season you are in, the bandaids will hold things together, but hold hope for the transplant. Sitting where I am today, I have to tell you that this is a pretty sweet place to be within my mind, body and spirit. Not perfect, but I feel like I can breathe again.

Bandaids.

Helping

Holding.

Breathe.

Hope.

Newness.

Wholeness.

Transplant.

And that’s all for me on this Sunny Sunday. I pray that you love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Boys, Education, homeschooling

Be Lacking Socialization in Home Learning

Leave a comment

The biggest question that I get as a home-based learning parent and teacher is: “How is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting?” This genuine, heartfelt and often “worry-filled” question from many people close to us always comes from a place that we are ‘lacking’ socialization in home-based learning. My most recent question about socializing my kids came while sitting in a dentist waiting room. It had me pondering what does socializing mean and what do we actually do to “socialize” the boys. This is a long one, and may shock some, so strap yourselves in folks!

According to Merriam-Webster we have two definitions of “socialization” that fit for this question:

  1. “The process, beginning during childhood, by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society
  2. “Social interaction with others”

After being at the receiving end of this question for over five years, I now want to laugh out loud, but I don’t because I know that this question comes from a lack of understanding on what home-based learning looks like.

Do we believe that children can be socialized best, “acquiring the values, habits and attitude of society”, by being in a classroom with the same teacher with their same gifts/talents plus the same 30 students for ten months a year for 6 hours per day? *******Remember: These children and their families often have no say with whom their children will share their days with.

Okay then Joanna, how is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting? I simply respond with sharing that I believe that children are best socialized when they are interacting with many ages and generations of people with variegated ideas and passions. Imagine having many “teachers”, on a daily basis, that have assorted gifts? I am going to share what our family currently did for learning activities “beyond the books” and online programs that add to their “socialization” that many people around us are worried about. Strap yourself in, as even I am shocked at what I realized my boys experience on a weekly/monthly basis for “socialization”.

SIDENOTE: Please carefully remember that because my children don’t sit in a classroom all day and have to “live by someone else’s schedule”, we can truly create the schedule that is unique to them, their abilities and their energy levels. They have more “time” throughout their days to do the activities that I am listing plus more downtime to read on the couch, sit in the yard, climb trees and play random games of tennis, soccer, basketball… Learning happens from waking until they go to bed twelve months of the year. Home-based learning is the term that I often use, as home is the base, but learning can and does happen everywhere we go. The ADDED BONUS in this home-based learning lifestyle is that the boys can sleep in when they are tired and we also don’t hesitate to change our schedule or skip things, if they feel a cold coming on or simply need a break.

Here are our list of activities where opportunities for “socialization” occur during this current season (Spring, 2023):

Grade 10 Son’s Activities:

  • Goes to campus school every second day
  • Trampoline gymnastics 3 x per week
  • Trampoline competitions 5 x per year
  • Chiropractor 1 x per month
  • Physiotherapy 4 x per year
  • Ultimate frisbee team 3 x per week
  • Soccer referee 1 x per week
  • Helps our neighbour in her yard 1 x per week
  • Drivers training and classes 1 x per for 8 weeks
  • Talks to our other neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Video editing and making movies (Learning from Youtubers)
  • Play VR with a home learning friend 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 8 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 3 x per week
  • Taekwondo events 2 x per year
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Soccer Referee 2 x per week
  • Voice/Music lessons 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Youth Group
  • Speech therapy 1 x per week
  • Tutoring 1 x per week
  • Occupational Therapy 1 x every 2 weeks
  • Physiotherapy 1 x per month
  • Orthodontist 1 x every six weeks
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Hangout with a neighbour 1 x per month
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 6 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 2 x per week
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Trumpet lessons 1 x per week
  • Take mail over to our neighbours 1 x per month
  • Drawing/Cartooning class 1 x per week
  • Grass volleyball league 2 x per week
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

This doesn’t include other arbitrary visits with people in the grocery store, when we give friends a ride home, someone comes to the front door and the hours of conversation that we have as a family eating dinner every night together, pouring love onto each of the boys’ lives, building them up, coaching them individually, working through problems and simply being a perfectly imperfect family. We are truly blessed.

If you are personally worried about the socialization of a home-based learning student, ask them: “What do your days look like?”

Many home learning families have more time for interactions with their extended family that adds richness and value and others, like us, bring in ‘experts’ from the community around them with their unique talents to pour into their children. Every family’s learning schedule is unrepeatable and socialization opportunities are truly unfathomable. What our kids experience on a daily basis could never be repeated inside a campus classroom.

If after reading this blog post and talking with your home-based learning friends/ family members you are still personally worried about the socialization, I would turn this worry into the socialization that is happening with a campus setting. We are grateful to be “skipping” many of the social behaviours that are happening in the middle school years in our community.

The moments are endless for home-based learning young people, learning outside the constraints of a campus building, with a schedule that is designed personally designed for them. This isn’t a lifestyle of learning for everyone, but it is for anyone who has the desire and time plus wants to learn from a variety of people with a variety of gifts all year long.

Have a sunny Saturday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

P.S. Can anyone tell that my boys were at camp this week? 3 posts in 3 days. I really missed them a ton and enjoyed the time to ponder and think.

author, blogger, Family, finance, Flexibility, home learning, Parenting, Wordsmith

Be Compartmentalizing your Life

8 Comments

When I was a ten years old, I remember lining up at the Scotia bank in Spruceland strip mall with my dad on Friday afternoons so that he could get cash for the weekend before the bank closed. This is such a vivid memory that I can even remember some of the clothes I was wearing when I went and some of conversations we had with people as we lined up (weekend fishing trips, accidents that happened in the bush, local hockey scores…).

When was the last time you lined up or were at the bank in person?

This week?

Last week?

A month ago?

A year ago?

I am genuinely curious. Would you let me know?

My bet is that you are like me and you are checking your banking online at home, scanning in any cheques you receive and receiving and sending e-transfers rather than going to the physical bank building. And this story about banking is exactly why I want to talk about “compartmentalizing your life”.

(Sidenote: I am actually speaking to myself about this topic, but I thought you would all like to be a part of my musings and unconnected thoughts and personal stories as I connect them.)

August 1st, 2023, I am starting on a new teaching/work adventure and right now I am dialing in my schedule and thinking about what I do during each day that I really need to account for and compartmentalized. I am not only thinking of every single thing that I do throughout my day in person, but also what I am doing online. My brain hurts a bit. Have you ever tried to account for everything you do within a week?

My first stop on this brain train has started with banking. I do banking throughout my days as bills arrive, as e-transfer requests come through and check our banking regularly as money moves in and out of our account monthly. Banking is now moving over to Sexy Neck. Boom shakalaka. He now has a handy-dandy chart with everything that regularly moves in and out of our account plus a lovely storage system for the boys and I to use to place the bills. Viola, first stop done.

My second stop has been around regular house cleaning. What currently happens around our house, well until yesterday, is that I do cleaning during the weekdays so that we don’t spend the evenings and weekends doing this chore. What did I do with this gargantuan list? I hired a cleaner. Yup, I did. This goes back to my first year of teaching when we had our beautiful friend Faye clean for us. It was such a gift. I decided to take on a few extra students and give myself the gift of a clean home every two weeks. Write a Student Learning Plan and report cards or clean? I am choosing SLP’s and report cards any day of the week!

My last stop as I have gone down this list making exercise to compartmentalize what I do in my day-to-day life involves redefining the blue (Sexy Neck) and pink (mine) jobs in our lives as parents as we raise three amazing young men into adulthood. (It makes me incredibly happy-sad that our oldest is graduating in two years!!) At one of our weekly chats, Sexy Neck and I sat down and redid this list from over five years ago. The blue/pink job list now sits proudly on the fridge. I know what things I am taking care of and he knows what he’s doing. We always try to help each other out, which is a beautiful thing, but when we are in the busy seasons that happen in the magnificent world of education, we can always fall back on this list to keep things running smoothly.

Banking.

Cleaning.

Parenting jobs.

Compartmentalizing these three things so that I can find space to add a 28 hour work-week into our home learning, dog walking, movement loving family!

Have a fabulous Friday folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

blogger, homeschooling, school, teaching, Wordsmith

Be Praying for Yourself

7 Comments

When I started praying for the leadership of our school two years ago, I never knew that I would end up praying for myself.

On the post-it-note on my computer monitor I wrote:

🙏🏻 Wisdom

🙏🏻 Hope

🙏🏻 God to fill in the gap

🙏🏻 Encouragement/Strength

🤩 JOY

(Those that know me know that I LOVE post-it-notes.)

Yesterday, it became public knowledge that I will be starting a new job this summer. I will be the HCOS Regional Administrator for the NORTH! (Kind of like a Vice Principal in the campus system, but different because I teach and work in the virtual world of home learning.)

Yes, you heard it and no, we aren’t moving. I will be supporting and serving the teachers and families working and living in the north from our house here in KCity, but then travelling up north a few times per year for meetings and events. This northern girl will have part of her heart back in the north because of her beautiful work!

Who loves a good northern road trip? MEEEEEEEEE!

Williams Lake, Prince George, Tumbler Ridge, Burns Lake, Terrace, Dawson Creek, Fort St. John and wherever else I am lead to go… watch out, I am coming for a visit and most likely bringing the boys too! Isn’t it cool that I can bring my boys to work as well. My school truly loves and support families, including my own.

This is really the best of learning and teaching in all ways!

New job coming soon: August 1st, 2023

Have a super duper uper Saturday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, encouragement, psychology, writing

Be Wondering Why I Wrote My May 28th, 2023 Blog Post?

Leave a comment

In the wake of what I wrote on May 28th, 2023, I have had many, many people reach out via phone call, messenger and text to express their shock at what I shared about my mental and physical journey the last few years.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also a sponge. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am a good listener, but I am also not great at sharing what I am experiencing. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am realizing that I need to create a circle of support where I can be seen and heard. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am one thousand million percent grateful that I wrote what I did and shared what I went through. I know that I truly shocked some of you, but I think it really reminds us that these last few years haven’t been easy for many people, whichever side of the “fence” you chose to be on. I wrote this post and had it sitting in my “drafts” for a few weeks, but I decided to publish it for three groups of people.

First, this last autumn season we had two very remarkable young woman living in K-City, one was my niece and the other was Bubba’s daughter, my oldest friend in the world’s daughter. It was such a special time to have them here. When I wrote this post, I thought of them and our three boys. Perhaps one of them will stumble on to this when they need it the most. I hope my sharing will help them is some small way.

I never wrote this post because I needed help right now or I wanted something from someone or I wanted to bring shame or guilt onto anyone else. My message was simply to help one other person, either now or in the future when someone stumbles upon that blog. One beloved friend wrote to me a few days after my blog: “I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for sharing your last post on Be Enough about re-claiming your health (mental and physical)…. Basically all you have been through and how you’ve described it is EXACTLY how I’ve felt the past 3 years.”. The second reason was simply to help one person feel less alone!

Lastly, I was also thinking of all the young people who have committed suicide these last three years. (And no, suicide was never an option or thought for me personally, but my darkest moments made me think about the hopelessness people must feel when they attempt or commit suicide.) Every day in Canada 11 people commit suicide and 200 people attempt it. Did you know that 75% of the people who commit suicide are male? The saddest part for me as I learned about suicide rates in our beautiful and “in need of healing” country was this rate is rising, not going down, with everything we know about mental health.

I wonder what would happen is more of us shared our stories, without worrying about judgement of being labelled or worrying about being put into a box or then having people try to “fix” us. I wonder if people were exactly where they are, when they are, how they are what our communities would look like?

And that’s all for this Thursday folks. Love what you do!

xoxo Joanna

blogger, Education, Family, Grief, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Framing Your Job with One Thought

4 Comments

 My one thought about my job today: I can be replaced in a minute.  The leadership of my school is so remarkable, I could probably be replaced in less than a minute.

Yes, it’s true for me and for you.  No one is irreplaceable in their work.

I recognized this shortly after my mom died and I fully grasped that she was truly irreplaceable.

Gone forever.

Never to be replaced.

Yes, we have had phenomenal people “fill in the vast gap” my mom left, but no one can restore her place in our lives as a mom and super nana.

A job is a unique arena of life as we all need to find ways to house and feed ourselves, but this great loss made me understand the temporality of work and life.

This morning, I am interviewing for a new job for the next school year. I am taking this mentality into my interview and I feel free.

Free to ponder.

Free to choose.

Free to open the door and see if this new opportunity will help me be a better wife, mom, friend, teacher and human being living on this earth.

Free to live!

So folks, as you ponder this next year ahead of you, what would you change if you knew you could be replaced in your job tomorrow, but never be replaced as a mother, father, daughter, brother, sister, cousin…?

Here temporarily.

Never to be replaced within your “family”.

Have an epic Tuesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

blogger, radical sabbatical, Wordsmith

Be Astounded by Top-Down Wipers

Leave a comment

I was 49 and 3 days years old when my son pointed out a Lexus with a back wiper that came down from the top.

Astounding.

Revolutionary.

Mind blowing.

Why don’t all wipers come down from the top?

The wiper was hidden up at the top under the overhang of the car. I didn’t even notice it! It wiped away the equal amount of the window as a wiper coming from the bottom, so why don’t all cars have this?

Imagine scraping the snow off the window in the winter without a wiper to contend with at the bottom?

Imagine not having that back wiper sticking out to grab onto an oversize sweater you are wearing?

Imagine less wear and tear on the wiper as it doesn’t sit in the snow/rain/hail/sun every single day?

I am guessing in the next few years that every single car will have a back wiper that comes down from the top, unless someone can tell me some negatives from this really revolutionary idea.

And that’s my random thought from this week.

Have a sunny, relaxing Sunday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna