Tag Archives: relationships

Christianity, Education, encouragement, Family, fun, God, musings, teenagers

Be Shifting a Grump

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🤔 Have you ever come across an Air Canada flight attendant that is obviously tired and grumpy? 

🤔 Do you have a relative that has an expiry date of one hour when your family visits and then they turn into a harsh, grumpy person? 

🤔 Are one of your teenagers waking up in a grumpy mood or bringing one home from school? 

💫 I have encountered all of these things and wanted to share some diddies today on what I like to do when coming across each of these grumps. 

✅ Ask them a question. This was my strategy for the flight attendant. I looked them in the eyes and simply asked: :Where is the best place you have flown?” She talked about when she used to live in Toronto and her trips to Boston, all with a smile. Boom shakalaka.  

✅ Remove yourself. Over the last 30 years as an adult, dealing with grumpy relatives has been a dance I have learned. Sadly, the best thing I have come up with has been to remove myself from the dance. I have tried asking questions or accommodating what they want to do or bringing gifts or food and try to be a lesser version of myself, but alas the removal from that person has been the best way to shift the grump.  A wise counsellor has also recommended meeting at neutral spots, (parks, coffee shops, restaurants etc.), but I have found that this only expands the expiry date by minutes not hours and is often not worth it.  Boo!  

✅ Smile and pray for them (or send them positive thoughts, if that’s more your jam). Ah teenagers. We are currently living with a tremendous trio of boys aged 16, 14 and almost 12. I feel as a parent, my job is to simply hold space for them as they deal with big emotions. Also, I want my teenagers to simply know I am here for them no matter what.  I really feel that a radiating smile and powerful prayers are like a force field that helps them and protects us as parents from being slimed by their “green, mucousy” grumpy ways. Yes, overall in life, I do think of grumpy people as being green and slimy. 🤣💚 

Don’t let anyone get their “stuff” on you.  

Random flight attendants. 

Relatives. 

Teenagers. 

All people that can slime you with their green grumpiness. 

As I say to my boys: Who’s in charge of your emotions? 

I am. 

I pray that my words will encourage you as you “live with” the people in your life with JOY and PEACE.  

Do you have a strategy for living a positive, joyful life no matter the emotional state of the people around you? Let me know. I always love to add tools to my emotional toolbox. 

Have an epic week folks and love what you do.  

Xoxo 

Joanna 

blogger, Communication, poetry, psychology, words, Wordsmith

Be Knowing the Opposite of Love 

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I am a feelings girl. 

I no longer apologize for this. 

I feel things deeply. 

I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me. 

I know this. 

Now, I harness this. 

People are powerful. 

We have emotions that fuel behaviour. 

We have passions. 

We have love!  

In my personal journey that I entered into as I walked through the gift of grief, the loss of my mama, I saw love.  

Pure love that no amount of pain could suppress. 

One moment my mama would be writhing and the next moment my boys would walk through the door.  

In that single moment, a smile would come on my mama’s face. Her eyes would open up and she would see them. She would hear them. She would be fully present and LOVING!  


On this journey, I also learned the opposite of love and it wasn’t what I had thought. 

During my four decades of life, I have surmised that the opposite of love was the feelings, thoughts and actions of hate. I realized the untruth of all of this. 

The incongruency. 

The inconsistency. 

I witnessed people, people I dearly love, be silent.  

Be unpresent. 

Eyes closed. 

Ears firmly shut. 

I asked them “why” and implored them to tell me “What could I do differently?”.

I received no responses. 

I had to sit with no answers. 

And then the moment hit me that the opposite of love had never been hate. 

Hate allows for discussion, emotion, action of some sort.  

The opposite of love has never been hate. 

It’s apathy. 

The nothingness. 

The unresponse.  

Love and hate are actions. 

Apathy is lethargy. 

Action and apathy are opposite. 

Apathy is meeting people to go sledding and one person decides to take a nap on the top of the ski hill.  This is not love! 

Apathy is inviting someone over for a two hour birthday party and they fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the party. (Note: The person is in their 30’s!). This is not love! 

Apathy is talking to someone daily and seeing someone weekly and then never being invited over to their house again.  They end up texting to tell you they are selling the house. This is not love! 

Apathy is having your phone in front of your face when someone is trying to have a heartfelt conversation. This is not love! 

Living in my gift of grief and my apathy examples, I implore you to be awake to love and aware of apathy.   


Keep your eyes open.  

Ears ready to hear.  

Be present. 

Be loving. 

I am a feelings girl 

Apathy is brutal! 

I no longer apologize for this. 

Nothingness is worse than hatred. 

I feel things deeply. 

I am impacted by the words and even vibe of the people around me. 

I know this. 

Now I harness this. 
I don’t spend time with apathetic people. 

People are powerful. 

If THEY choose to be! 

Overflowing with love, with action and knowing it’s opposite. 💖

Lessons from a Super Nana who would be celebrating her 75th birthday this week!   I love you Mama. 😘 Joanna 

Business, encouragement, Flexibility, philosophy, psychology

Be Floored by a Ted Talk 

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Creating and playing using words is my love.  

It soothes my soul and brings me great strength in moments that I feel weak.  

Today, I watched this Ted Talk TWICE and his stories, experiences and words on rejection brought me strength as I reflected on my stories, experiences, and my words. 

May this bring you as much freedom as it brought into my day! 

Jia Jiang – What I Learned From 100 Days of Rejection

author, blogger, encouragement, Family, God, love, psychology

Be Searching for Something 

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As I sit watching the sunset, I ponder that ‘something’ I search for.   That ‘something’ that will fill feelings of grief, sadness and overwhelm.  

That space that I try to fill every time I open my phone to check Facebook. 

The hole I avoid when I run away from what I am feeling.  

The darkness I turn from every time I sit in numbness, not wanting to feel, not wanting to go down old trodden paths of pain.

But sometimes life doesn’t give us a chance to avoid.  

It allows us the privilege to sit up, to notice, to see our grief journey clearly and how much pain we have turned into gratitude.  

This search for something that is really nothing outside of us at all. 

We can’t avoid living life and why would we want to. 

The privilege to be with our people, to see into the eyes of their souls and to get to know them on a deeper level. 

Yes, Facebook could do that. 

Walking away could help us reflect. 

And that darkness I talked about, well, that only helps us see the brightness of the light.  

See, I have learned to let go of my sense of judgement as things are neither good nor bad, they just are.  I have also learned to be present with what I am feeling, as these feelings are neither good nor bad, as well, they just are! 


So, as you search for that ‘something’ today may you first look within your soul, your beautiful unique self sitting within you.  Resting in your spirit.  

Being you! 

Then may you look around you at those imperfectly perfect people around you. Building Knex, asking about the birds and the bees, reading books, playing with pillows… are what my people are currently doing. 

Being them! 


Search for that something that is already within you. 

Beautiful.  

Imperfectly perfect. 

Neither good nor bad. 

Just being. 

Full of strength.  

Overflowing with hope.  

Sitting in the presence of His peace.  

Knowing you are loved.  

Searching for nothing. 

Found! 

*written for a special person in our life on this significant ‘something’ kind of day! 

author, blogger, mindset, positivity, Uncategorized

Be Rejected 

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Sit with me today and ask yourself if you have ever been rejected. I mean really rejected, back-turning, door slamming, get the f* out rejected?  I also want to talk about the simple rejections that happen every single day as we live our lives.

Have you ever been dumped?

Rejection.

Have you ever applied for a job and not hired?

Rejected.

Have you ever apologized and had that person never speak to you again?

Rejection.

Have you put in a business or book proposal and received a denial letter?

Rejected.

rejected
In the sadness, anger and humbleness of rejection, what do we find?

A new way.

A new path.

A new resiliency.

A letting go.

Or holding tighter.

A fortitude to persevere.

Or a desire to walk away.

Rejection is a true gift, a branch of the gifts of grief.

It is ready for us to unwrap in every rejected moment.

gift-giving

We can choose our path with rejection.

We can envision rejection as a branch of a metaphorical tree.

Ponder, with me, how this gift of rejection can help us grow!

Perhaps rejection has come into our life because we have been growing roots in places that weren’t in rich soil.  We may have needed more light rather than darkness.  Or maybe something or someone new may have been needed in our life to bring us new living water. Rejection needed to create space.  Our branches may have needed some pruning so that we could have new growth in our life.

Rejected.

Rejection.

Light.

Growth.

Life.

All symbiotic and much needed in our lives.

Gratitude today for EVERY time I have been rejected in word, thought or deed.

Life-giving.

Gratitude-living.

Rejection.

Be rejected.

Goals, Parenting, writing

Be at the Beginning (my 501st post!)

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Folks… How did I write 500 posts? Here is my 150th post! I wrote it almost a year ago. So, if I do the math correctly, in the last 365 days (which equals one year), I have written just shy of one post per day. Sexy Neck, am I right? Is this possible?

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As I sit and write this five hundred and first post, where am I?

I am at the beginning.

The start.

Fresh.

New.

Beginning.

Each day I fully embrace. I feel more alive with deep emotion than I have ever felt.

Life is not about living in Disneyland, but enjoying those Disneyland moment. The exciting rides, the yummy sweet food, the cleanliness and friendly people.

Life is not about running from sadness, grief and hard times, but sitting in it. Living through it. Feeling deeply. The tears, the anguish, the copious amounts of laundry and people who will never make sense.

Life is about a beautiful woven quilt like my mom used to make. The light and dark fabrics making a beautiful pattern.

Life is about forgiving and starting fresh each day. The sun and the moon providing guideposts to help us do this.

Life is about surrounding myself with healthy people who may not understand me but honour me for who I am. People make a difference in my life, both positively and detrimentally. I am a relationship person. They are important to me.

Life is about being positive and focusing on my strengths. I could ‘work on’ all my negative attributes for the rest of my life and not move one mile, but I can continue to concentrate on my gifts and talents and hit the stars. Don’t we all find it easy to do what we love? Imagine if we chose to live this way each day?

Life is about beginnings. Learning to paddle board at sixty-seven years old. Going on a Tour de France Training Camp in Mallorca at age seventy. Being the very best Nana, mom, wife, aunt, sister and friend each day.

Thank you mom for teaching me about beginnings… And for being my guide through the ultimate of beginnings here on earth as a human being, death.

And now I ponder my own beginnings: starting a business, going back to school, new stages with my boys, fitness, health, volunteering, new activities, new friends and new starts with old ones.

Anticipation.

Excitement.

Pondering.

New.

Beginnings.

Boys, cancer, christmas

Be A Giver of Great Gifts

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Look who came to visit nana and I tonight:

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Santa, the giver of great gifts!

Thank you to all the Santas in our lives right now.

Great gifts:
– Booking flights from Australia, Spain, Whitehorse, Vancouver.
– Heartfelt Prayer
– Thoughts about my mom and our family
– Food and water
– Kind, gentle care
– Good pain medication. (Just say yes to drugs when you have cancer.).
– Facebook messages/Blog comments
– Pictures to share with mom from afar.
– Michelle Miller (Pain Specialist) taking the helm.
AND so many other things.

Full of gratitude for God’s great mercy and for how He has used people in our lives today to help mom.

Boys, cancer, Family, Parenting, psychology

Be Learning How to KeepYour Foot Out of Your Mouth

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Have you ever wanted to know how to keep your foot out of your mouth when someone you know/love is suffering? I read a theory the other day that a friend posted on Facebook. I haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head.

I’m one of those people that loves to put their feet, yes both of them, in their mouth. Sometimes at night, I lay awake and wonder why I said the things that I said. Often an email apology or phone call is on my to do list for the next day.

This theory, called Ring Theory by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman, gives me a framework as my mom heals from
cancer to know who to talk to. I’ve had many pitfalls in the last couple of months talking to people in my ring or the rings above me.
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I sought out the people that were closest to me. These people were my husband and my parents. My sister also became a larger part of our lives at this time and I tried to seek out support from her. At night, I’ve often wondered why these conversations hadn’t gone well! This theory makes everything come full circle. It all makes sense.

Here’s my ring that I have started to work on. It is definitely a work in progress as I ponder those larger rings.

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My understanding of the theory is that you comfort every single person that is in your ring or in one of the smaller rings. You can complain and say whatever you want to anyone that is in a larger ring than yourself.

The Los Angeles times article on this theory had some great examples of people living with breast cancer and suffering from brain aneurysms. If you want to read more take a look at the link below.
Here’s the article!
Thanks for posting this on Facebook Shank! Shank’s other tip was from Dr. Phil a few years ago, “When you know better you do better!” You are on fire girl! Thank for sharing.