Tag Archives: Family

Be Rejected 

Sit with me today and ask yourself if you have ever been rejected. I mean really rejected, back-turning, door slamming, get the f* out rejected?  I also want to talk about the simple rejections that happen every single day as we live our lives.

Have you ever been dumped?

Rejection.

Have you ever applied for a job and not hired?

Rejected.

Have you ever apologized and had that person never speak to you again?

Rejection.

Have you put in a business or book proposal and received a denial letter?

Rejected.

rejected
In the sadness, anger and humbleness of rejection, what do we find?

A new way.

A new path.

A new resiliency.

A letting go.

Or holding tighter.

A fortitude to persevere.

Or a desire to walk away.

Rejection is a true gift, a branch of the gifts of grief.

It is ready for us to unwrap in every rejected moment.

gift-giving

We can choose our path with rejection.

We can envision rejection as a branch of a metaphorical tree.

Ponder, with me, how this gift of rejection can help us grow!

Perhaps rejection has come into our life because we have been growing roots in places that weren’t in rich soil.  We may have needed more light rather than darkness.  Or maybe something or someone new may have been needed in our life to bring us new living water. Rejection needed to create space.  Our branches may have needed some pruning so that we could have new growth in our life.

Rejected.

Rejection.

Light.

Growth.

Life.

All symbiotic and much needed in our lives.

Gratitude today for EVERY time I have been rejected in word, thought or deed.

Life-giving.

Gratitude-living.

Rejection.

Be rejected.

Be Retiring and Releasing

Do you know when you have been holding onto something for too long?

It just sits in the back of your brain, popping up in your head like an annoying old boyfriend.   As these thoughts roll through your mind like a movie, you have to decide to continue to let them float on by or to let them go.

Often if you sit with these thoughts, you just know when it is time to let things go!

For over six years, I have been fortunate to have a leave of absence from a teaching job.  And it was an amazing teaching job, which makes it hard to let go of.  I hold no regrets.  Only fabulous memories with inspiring people surrounding me.

I taught in towns and villages all through the school district.

I had students get picked up via dogsled and horseback.  I had students create the most amazing projects and share the most incredible stories.

I had a custodian that inspired me daily, saran wrapped my entire classroom and help me survive my first classroom teaching experience.

I had families that I was fortunate to know well and even teach many of their children.

I had the very best CEA’s (Teacher’s Assistants).  These women were the best teammates you could ever ask for when teaching children. They were even willing to dress up with me in PJ’s to help teach the children a lesson on responsibility. Oh that was a fun day!  The tolerated my math lessons as Grandma Cann and cried with me when students were having a hard time.

My colleagues were superior and they continue to inspire me living their lives on Facebook and Strava or when I head back to VCity and run into them on the street.  These colleagues are the ones creating amazing drama productions, music performances, coaching teams, creating community schools, teaching en francais and so many other incredible educational feats during this season of teaching children.

And oh my Principals, they were bar none the best.  Servant-hearted, caring Principals.  People that Sexy Neck and I often talk about and ask, “What would Linda or Jim or Tom or ________ do?  I was so fortunate to have the best leaders.

So as I let go, I am fully awake and completely saddened.  The ebb and flow of life, I am realizing.   A chapter in my teaching story is complete!  I am releasing and allowing new space for things in my mind, in my life and in my wildest dreams.  I am grateful to be alive!

My resignation letter is in:

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Be Celebrating Another Nana

This post has been percolating in my mind for many months.  Stewing, forming, mashing all up together in my head and within the deepest part of my heart.

How could I best pour out my words for another beautiful, vibrant, gardening Nana?

Tonight, I just decided to sit down and write.

Tonight, I am celebrating another Nana.

I remember one day after dropping JC off at school in Vtown, a very good friend of mine K walked up to me in the parking lot.  I am not sure where the little boys were, but K and I ended up standing in the parking lot and she shared her news.

Her beautiful mom, Wendy, was diagnosed with cancer and they didn’t think it could be cured.
WUMP!

If you know my friend K, you know both her mom and her dad.  Like my parents used to be, their lives were woven throughout the fabric of their grandchildren and children’s lives.  Nana Wendy was a Super Nana, just like my mom.

I didn’t know at the time, but K and I would walk similar journeys as grieving daughters and mom’s of young children as we watched our Super Nana’s and mom’s live and die with cancer.  My mom wouldn’t be diagnosed until many months later and would pass away two years before Nana Wendy.

On December, 29th, 2015, just two short months ago, I was able to be present and sit as K and her family celebrated Wendy’s life.  Ironically, it was two years to the day that we had celebrated my mom’s own life.

Wendy’s celebration of life was truly remarkable and not something that I soon will forget. Candles were lit.  K read a beautiful poem.  Her brother shared his mom’s life story and some humour to go along with it.  K’s daughter shared her heart.  Family and friends shared stories.  It was the most lighthearted, beautiful, inspiring, celebration of life I had seen.  I felt like I had the opportunity to sit with Wendy, getting to know her more through her family, while in her garden.

This moment reminded me about the depth of character, which we all have, that allows us to grieve deeply, yet celebrate a life.   This same depth allows us to smile at little children and be grateful for an unborn baby that K’s brother’s family was expecting, while feeling sadness about the loss.

Life is created in these beautiful seeming “opposing” moments, created by amazing families, like K’s!

It is about embracing all of lifes beauty at all times.

I am extremely humbled to call K my friend and to have journeyed this passage of time with her through cancer treatments, hospital stays, time in hospice and celebrating our moms lives and deaths.

With gratitude, I pour out these words.

With humbleness of heart for being able to watch this journey unfold.

With a great lump in my throat for the loss we both endure.

With sadness for our children that have lost their Super Nanas.

With love pouring out because of how our mom’s lived their lives.

To the max!

With laughter.

With a good book at their side.

A beautiful garden to tend to.

And a family that deeply misses their presence.

Hugs to our Nanas in heaven.

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Be Pondering String, Puppies and a Lion 

Lying on the ground. 

In silence. 

In peace.  

Tangled woven fabric all around me, across my face circling my body. 

Standing arms flailing. 

A puppy, playfully pulling around, like he’s chasing his tail, helping me unravel. 

Around. 

And around. 

The puppet strings are cut. 

I no longer need to wrestle or perform. 

I can be. 

Me. 

  
A lion walks beside me. 

He smells like heaven. 

Lush and green. 

Warm and luscious. 

We are walking freely.  

Together. 

Alone.  

In peace. 

Enough. 

Enuf. 

Nuf said. 

Giggle. 

Giggle. 

Giggle. 

(Thank you to lovely Linda for helping me be and amazing Ang for the inspiration! Glory!) 

Be Celebrating a “Cann”tastic Christmas 2015 

Celebrating friendship, Jesus’s birth, family, and just being together!  We had an amaaaaazing Christmas.  Love a duck, I do have to say it was “Cann”tastic! 

    
 There were so many coincidences and blessings that came our way.  The opportunities we have to talk and sit with people were inspiring.

Skiing.

Skating.

Bowling.

Road Trip.

Lego.

Sleds.

Food.

And discovering a ski sign with our last name on it.

A “Cann”tastic Christmas! 

Be on a Sunrise Ski 

Two slender boards sliding through the powder.  

A Labrador retriever frolicking at the end of a leather leash.  

A happy mama taking time to be still while gliding through the snow.  

Be.  

Be still. 

Be still and. 

Be still and know. 

Be still and know I. 

Be still and know I am God. 

Be still and know I am.  

Be still and know I.  

Be still and know. 

Be still and. 

Be still. 

Be. 

Be you.  

Your strengths. 

Your gifts.  

Your talents. 

Be present.  

Be still within. 

Be enough.     

Side note:  I think this is one of the best parts of my early morning skiis, pajama-clad boys in the window.  

May you have many beautiful smiles to come home to during this Christmas season. 

 

Be Creating a Full Time Family 

A family where we can choose to spend most of our time together. 

A family where the children have equal time with both parents. 

A family that can be full time living life together and part time at work. 

My personal definition of a full time family. 

  
A place where we choose our schedule and money is of no consequence.  (What is money anyways, but a concept of trading money for time.) We are working very hard, every day to create residual, freedom income.  Sexy Neck is working with a contractor to create a rental home on our property. I have launched a book into the world and I love coaching people using nutritional systems I love.  The company gives me rebates for supporting and loving people to reach their individual energy, performance, weight loss, healthy aging or even financial goals. 

My dreams continue to become reality as Sexy Neck and I walked our boys to school together today.  As he is an educator with similar hours, I can count on two hands how many times he has been able to walk with us to school in the last four years. 

I will hold to my full time family vision, not knowing ‘how’ it is going to unfold.   My mom’s death taught me that sometimes we can’t just figure things out, we must walk them out. 

With excitement.  

With gratitude for each day. 

With moments like this. 

As a full time family. 

  

Be Giving Leftovers Away

I am wondering why we always give our families “leftovers”.

Our best selves are often given to those people we work with, see at the gym or in the line-up at the grocery store.

We smile.

Say a friendly hello.

Display consistent kindness and consideration.

We rarely raise our voices or yell in our workplace.

But, when we are at home, a different menu is being served.

The ‘leftovers” go to our families.

These lovely people that we have given birth to or have given birth to us.

Those people that we are placed on a family tree with.

Yup, those ones.

Can’t just erase a name off of there, can we?

The ones that get our grumpiest selves and our often complaining selves.

Those same ones that we show our ‘true’ colours to.

The ones we ignore, avoid and can’t say one kind word to or pretend to say kind words to, but it is meaningless.

The ones that we visit with and then nap for one hour on the sofa.

My journey, as I have watched my family of origin evolve over almost two years since my mom’s death, is that it is no longer okay to give my brood of boys my leftovers.

I want my family to know me the best.

My boys will get my best self.

I will give them the most smiles, the friendliest eyes and the kindest words.

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My family.

The one I chose.

Sexy Neck.

The boys I birthed.

JC, OC and CC.

8, 6, 4.

My brood of boys.

My best self.

All of my love.

All of my life.

Allowing space for them to be themselves.

Allowing myself to be me.

The full meal deal.

Me.

Be Having a House Concert with RvZ

We are living our dreams right now.

Our why is clear.

Our how and what is not.

We love it!

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For almost twenty years, Sexy Neck and I have dreamed about Rachelle Van Zanten playing live in our home or yard.  Last night it happened!  We had heard she was playing at a festival a few hours away and we asked, yup, just asked, if it was possible for her to play poolside in our yard.  Thirty of our greatest new and old friends, came to enjoy this over two hour private show with one of Canada’s best slide guitar players, either female or male.

National Geographic Explorer in Residence, Wade Davis, has said, “Rachelle Van Zanten is our voice, the muse of the north, a woman as strong and beautiful as the mountains, as fluid as the sea.  She writes songs to inspire the wind, give voice to thunder and fire the hearts of all sentient beings fighting to protect the land she loves so dearly.”

What an incredible memory it now is.

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Music.

Guitar.

Hand-crafted songs.

HIlarious stories.

Talented musician.

Gobsmacked with joy!

What an incredible night!