These last few months, I have been thinking that our family needs to move back to Vernon…. almost ten years here in K-City and, well, I am not sure what to say about it. In the last three months, I have ran into four friends from Vernon at Costco, the ski hill, for walks and I have realized the deepness of these friendships I really miss.
I miss those friends who:
~ knew me before I was a mom
~ knew my own mom
~ I spent time working with and on vacation with
~ walked through years of change involving birth and death
~ did Music classes with me when the boys were in preschool. (Such a sweet season)
Ten years ago we made the decision to move here as Steve was commuting to K-City, 45 minutes away from our house in Vernon, and he was seeing very little of us due to long hours and evening meetings. One day, yup one day, after we moved to K-city my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Five months later she had died.
As I sit down and have a serious conversation with the family about moving back to Vernon, the boys are all a “hard no”. They were 2, 4 and 6 when we moved to K-City and this is really home for them. They have activities they love, a neighbourhood that loves on them and freedom to move around the city with confidence.
And now I remember a story from a wise uncle. Uncle John owned a fabulous apartment near Commercial Drive in Vancouver. He decided that he wanted to live a bit more freely and travel more than he already did. He sold the Commercial Drive apartment and moved into a great rental apartment on Chestnut Street beside the Burrard Street bridge and one block from the beach. His views were incredible and the accessibility to Vancouver was amazing. If I lived in Vancouver, this is the area I would want to live.
Uncle John loved living in this apartment building and weathered the loss of his parents and his sister. His entire family of origin died in a these short few years. Then Uncle John heard that his old apartment was for sale again, after being fully renovated. He jumped at the chance “to go back”. He rebought his old apartment, moved in and realized he had made a terrible mistake. He had bought the apartment “to go back” to a time where his parents and sister were alive. He wanted to truly turn back time. After a few short months, he resold his apartment on Commercial Drive for a second time and again moved back into his amazing rental apartment overlooking the Pacific Ocean. He was really happy and realized that you never can go back.
…and now as I ponder our family moving back to Vernon, his story has become my own. Why do I want “to go back” to Vernon? It is mostly because I want “to go back” to a time when my mom was alive and we had a wonderful circle of support around us. These have been lonely few years that have developed a deep well of resiliency and perseverance on my part raising three young men without that close support and encouragement as a mom. Even today when I receive a compliment on my role as a mother, I am always surprised because it is so rare. It often brings me to tears.
So we won’t be moving back to Vernon. The show must go on in K-City for this mom of three boys now ages, almost 16, 13 and 11. BUT, you never know where we will end up once the boys are graduated and finding their own paths in life.
Have a wonderful Wednesday and love what you do.
6 thoughts on “Be Moving Back to Vernon”
whatta tease, had me all excited for Vernon
haha… sorry Linda. I did think about this “tease” as I wrote it, but I couldn’t think of a more appropriate title that started with “Be”.
This post resounds on my heart.
In January Martin and I sold our property that was my family’s home since 1972, after both my parents passed away.
You can imagine how hard that was to let go because I wanted to keep the memories, for me and my family.
But it wasn’t healthy for me, which I didn’t realize until after walking away on the last day.
All my memories are still here. But they don’t bog me down, most days. Lol
You’ve talked about moving forward before. I think if we hang onto the sweet things and let go of the not so sweet things(kind of what you said) lol, we make room for more sweet things. 😊
Even though it’s really, really hard some days.
But thanks to you, we get positive inspiration to reflect before we leap into whatever is next.
I remember that house Terrie. I am so glad that you have broken free and that you can hang on to the sweet things… you are a sweet soul!
Just because you need to hear it……..you are a wonderful mom and a very wise woman. Glad you worked it out and learned from John’s experience, too. I enjoy reading your ramblings. Oh, yeah, you’re a very good writer, too. 👍😘
Thank you Merrilyn! I imagine that writing is like painting… it’s nice to see where your fingers/brush take you. This was a great musing for me to work through these last few months.