Category Archives: Boys

author, blogger, Boys, Education, homeschooling

Be Lacking Socialization in Home Learning

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The biggest question that I get as a home-based learning parent and teacher is: “How is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting?” This genuine, heartfelt and often “worry-filled” question from many people close to us always comes from a place that we are ‘lacking’ socialization in home-based learning. My most recent question about socializing my kids came while sitting in a dentist waiting room. It had me pondering what does socializing mean and what do we actually do to “socialize” the boys. This is a long one, and may shock some, so strap yourselves in folks!

According to Merriam-Webster we have two definitions of “socialization” that fit for this question:

  1. “The process, beginning during childhood, by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society
  2. “Social interaction with others”

After being at the receiving end of this question for over five years, I now want to laugh out loud, but I don’t because I know that this question comes from a lack of understanding on what home-based learning looks like.

Do we believe that children can be socialized best, “acquiring the values, habits and attitude of society”, by being in a classroom with the same teacher with their same gifts/talents plus the same 30 students for ten months a year for 6 hours per day? *******Remember: These children and their families often have no say with whom their children will share their days with.

Okay then Joanna, how is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting? I simply respond with sharing that I believe that children are best socialized when they are interacting with many ages and generations of people with variegated ideas and passions. Imagine having many “teachers”, on a daily basis, that have assorted gifts? I am going to share what our family currently did for learning activities “beyond the books” and online programs that add to their “socialization” that many people around us are worried about. Strap yourself in, as even I am shocked at what I realized my boys experience on a weekly/monthly basis for “socialization”.

SIDENOTE: Please carefully remember that because my children don’t sit in a classroom all day and have to “live by someone else’s schedule”, we can truly create the schedule that is unique to them, their abilities and their energy levels. They have more “time” throughout their days to do the activities that I am listing plus more downtime to read on the couch, sit in the yard, climb trees and play random games of tennis, soccer, basketball… Learning happens from waking until they go to bed twelve months of the year. Home-based learning is the term that I often use, as home is the base, but learning can and does happen everywhere we go. The ADDED BONUS in this home-based learning lifestyle is that the boys can sleep in when they are tired and we also don’t hesitate to change our schedule or skip things, if they feel a cold coming on or simply need a break.

Here are our list of activities where opportunities for “socialization” occur during this current season (Spring, 2023):

Grade 10 Son’s Activities:

  • Goes to campus school every second day
  • Trampoline gymnastics 3 x per week
  • Trampoline competitions 5 x per year
  • Chiropractor 1 x per month
  • Physiotherapy 4 x per year
  • Ultimate frisbee team 3 x per week
  • Soccer referee 1 x per week
  • Helps our neighbour in her yard 1 x per week
  • Drivers training and classes 1 x per for 8 weeks
  • Talks to our other neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Video editing and making movies (Learning from Youtubers)
  • Play VR with a home learning friend 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 8 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 3 x per week
  • Taekwondo events 2 x per year
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Soccer Referee 2 x per week
  • Voice/Music lessons 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Youth Group
  • Speech therapy 1 x per week
  • Tutoring 1 x per week
  • Occupational Therapy 1 x every 2 weeks
  • Physiotherapy 1 x per month
  • Orthodontist 1 x every six weeks
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Hangout with a neighbour 1 x per month
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

Grade 6 Son’s Activities:

  • Taekwondo 2 x per week
  • Soccer 2 x per week
  • Trumpet lessons 1 x per week
  • Take mail over to our neighbours 1 x per month
  • Drawing/Cartooning class 1 x per week
  • Grass volleyball league 2 x per week
  • Visit the public library 1 x per week
  • Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
  • Swimming lessons set
  • Walk the dog and run into random people
  • Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
  • Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week

This doesn’t include other arbitrary visits with people in the grocery store, when we give friends a ride home, someone comes to the front door and the hours of conversation that we have as a family eating dinner every night together, pouring love onto each of the boys’ lives, building them up, coaching them individually, working through problems and simply being a perfectly imperfect family. We are truly blessed.

If you are personally worried about the socialization of a home-based learning student, ask them: “What do your days look like?”

Many home learning families have more time for interactions with their extended family that adds richness and value and others, like us, bring in ‘experts’ from the community around them with their unique talents to pour into their children. Every family’s learning schedule is unrepeatable and socialization opportunities are truly unfathomable. What our kids experience on a daily basis could never be repeated inside a campus classroom.

If after reading this blog post and talking with your home-based learning friends/ family members you are still personally worried about the socialization, I would turn this worry into the socialization that is happening with a campus setting. We are grateful to be “skipping” many of the social behaviours that are happening in the middle school years in our community.

The moments are endless for home-based learning young people, learning outside the constraints of a campus building, with a schedule that is designed personally designed for them. This isn’t a lifestyle of learning for everyone, but it is for anyone who has the desire and time plus wants to learn from a variety of people with a variety of gifts all year long.

Have a sunny Saturday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

P.S. Can anyone tell that my boys were at camp this week? 3 posts in 3 days. I really missed them a ton and enjoyed the time to ponder and think.

Book, Boys, gymnastics, mindset, mom of boys, Parenting

Be Writing a Letter to Trampoline and Artistic Gymnastic Parents (April 16th, 2023)

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It’s been an incredibly busy season for athletes involved in trampoline and artistic gymnastics. From February til now there have been many competitions. Since February Family Day weekend there have been three major competitions for our oldest son. The highlight was two weeks ago at Provincials where he achieved his goals for this season by moving up, aka mobilizing, into the National levels in all three events: trampoline, Double-mini trampoline and tumbling. He also achieved fifth all around for both male and female athletes in British Columbia in the national level. WAHOO! This young man will now represent British Columbia at Nationals in July.

This letter is being crafted to all the parents of these hardworking athletes, including myself, who have achieved their goals in months, years or failed to reached them by a score of 0.1. Yes, this sport is won and lost on very fine margins. I am throwing out some advice from my background in Kinesiology today and topping it off with some insight from Education.

Please give your child a week or two or even a month where scores or wins/losses don’t come into account.

Read to them or have them read to themselves, if they don’t see it as a chore. You could even buy them a copy of their favourite graphic novel.

Put out some clay, play dough or slime for them to play or create with.

Do a puzzle together.

Have a kitchen dance party and play their favourite music.

Draw together. They could draw what they feel or what they see. We love the Art for Kids Hub Youtube channel as you can find almost anything you would like to draw with helpful video lessons that are geared for kids. Even I can follow these directions! It’s so fun!

Go for a hike in nature together. This is our favourite and we try to do this weekly throughout all seasons of the year.

Build something together – Do you have Lego? How about the project you have always been wanting to build together in the garage?

Last but not least, why not embrace an old classic and play the cloud game. Sit on your backs in the grass and look for pictures in the clouds?

And that’s it folks! I hope that these amazing gymnasts that compete with such incredible intensity can steal from this list to calm their nervous systems and create a body and mind that can compete for years and years to come. What an incredible sport. We put out children in gymnastics at 18 months to build physical literacy. We never thought nor imagined that we would be fortunate to have a gymnast in the family. What a fun and exciting new sport to learn about and ponder today post-competition.

Have a marvellous Monday everyone and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Aging, Boys, cancer, Grief, love, musings, Wordsmith

Be Asking Your Mom Five Questions

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I love it when “not-so-random” moments come across my path.

I have been experiencing some deep grief moments about my mom lately as her birthday is tomorrow. She would have been 80 years young this year. Man, she was epic. Did you know that six months before she died she was on a cycling tour in Mallorca riding more than 90 kilometres each day? Did you know that I never cycled long distances with my mom? I took up cycling about two years after she died.

One of the best memories involving my mom was when I was playing in the backyard with our three boys, all under the age of 4. My mom came through the side gate all sweaty and red-faced pulling in her bike beside her. She say, “Hi, I just popped in for some water!” I asked her where she rode today. She stated that she had just ridden to Enderby and back, a mere 70 kilometres (@44 miles) and then went into the house to get some water. She was always doing crazy things like that that seemed like a walk in the park to her. My mom was an exceptional athlete, teacher, friend, mom and so humble too!

Back to the reason for this post: My “not-so random” moment this week was when I stumbled across this article about a daughter who lost her mom and the five questions that she would have liked to ask her.

I have been pondering my own five questions and here they are:

  1. What legacy/memories/values do you want to leave for your grandsons and great-grandchildren? (We will always talk about you Super Nana!)
  2. What did your body go through as you moved through menopause?
  3. Are you afraid to die? What are your thoughts on dying?
  4. What parenting advice would you give me as I move through the different ages and stages with the boys?
  5. What are some of your best memories as a child, other than Jimmy the horse?

And that’s all folks. Be sure to hug those people you love and ask the questions that are on your own heart to the people that matter most.

Have an epic Wednesday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Boys, Communication, Parenting

Be Talking about Anger/Sadness (A Letter to My Boys)

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Hi boys,

Do you remember Thanksgiving 2023 when you boys were in grades 10, 8 and 6? Do you remember the Friday night when I drove away to give myself a few hours “timeout”? I am sure you do as I know that this was an upsetting moment for you as you could sense my sadness and could feel that I was angry.

Before I throw a piece of paper in the garage that I hastily wrote on, with stick people drawings, once I came back home, I wanted to enshrine it here:

What do you do when people feel sadness or anger?

  1. Be annoyed and get angry back?
  2. Try to make them happy?
  3. Allow them to feel. Show empathy?
  4. Any other options?

After I shared my little diagram, I love that all of you were able to to allow me to feel what I felt and even show me empathy. Oxford Languages says that empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Before my timeout, all three of you tried one of these different strategies above when you saw my sadness and anger. One of you started getting angry with me, another tried to tell a joke and lighten the mood and one of you was looking at me with sadness in their own eyes.

After I shared this diagram and we talked, you were all solidly in the empathy category with what I was experiencing in that moment and it was such a gift!

Allow people to feel.

Hold space for them.

Allow people to heal.

Be empathetic for them.

Allow people to deal.

Give time for them.

To be.

To rest.

To process.

Thank you boys for walking that weekend with me and for being open to learning about empathy.

Enjoy your day. Love what you do.

xoxo MAMA

author, blogger, Boys, Business, dreams, Education, encouragement, fun, Goals, homeschooling, love, mom of boys, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Finding Your Dream Job (A letter to my boys)

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To my Blue Crew,

I want to write this letter to each of you after a few years of working in my “dream job” as an online teacher as I know you have watched what has unfolded for me as a mom and teacher.

Right now you want to be a movie producer, a truck driver/inventor and a RCMP Member or Conservation Officer in the K9 unit. I am so excited to see what unfolds for you hardworking, heartfelt human beings.

My dream job involves working with and inspiring other human beings, particularly young people starting with EACH of you three boys. From teaching my first amazing job in Cherryville to teaching in Switzerland to working in the online system, my career journey has been an interesting one. How did I find all my dream jobs for each season of my life?

First and foremost, I wanted to find a job that I could work around you and daddy’s schedule. Someone had to “hold down the fort”.

Second, I wanted to work within my passions of learning and growth.

Lastly, I wanted to ensure that the exchange for my time, which is our greatest currency, was in balance with the money that the job was going to pay me.

Family first.

Life long learner.

Time for money.

What will be important for your dream job? The clearer you are, the quicker the job will come. It was only after you were born and I stepped away from the education system that my journey towards my dream job began.

Family first.

Life long learner.

Time for money.

As with any dream job, there is always, always some friction involved. The friction or “emotional heat” can be caused by a colleague that you work with, by one task that you don’t particularly like or even how your mind can’t settle down after your work day ends. For every job the friction created is different and you will have to make a conscious decision if these “rubs” are worth it to pursue and go after your dream job.

Go boys.

Find your dream job.

Be aware of the friction.

And have as MUCH FUN as I am in my job.

God bless everyone that reads this blog post and especially bless our growing boys: 15, 13 and 11 year old young men.

Have an epic Wednesday folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Boys, career, radical sabbatical, Teaching, Wordsmith

Be Changing Your Career in an Exorbitant Way

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Hi Mom’s and Dad’s that have chosen to give up or change their careers because a wee one came into your life, I am sitting with you as I write this. Grab a cup of tea and strap yourselves in… I have a major wondering today.

Do you ever have a sense that your career changed in an exorbitant way because of your wee ones arrival on earth?

I have been thinking about my time on earth and my career a lot lately as I continue working through the gift of grief that my mom gave me in 2013. Yup, almost 10 years since that fateful day that our Super Nana died and I began my personal journey experiencing the finality of death.

With incredible clarity, I took leave from my career when our oldest came into the world almost sixteen years ago. I was a teacher, coach, volunteer and an advocate of campus education, but when that blonde haired boy with that straight edge part and blue eyes came into the world, my life pivoted and my career path changed forever. I never stepped back into a campus classroom full time and I have never wanted to. I am proud of the fact that I could help keep things simple in our family’s life by being the person “on the home front”. I never wanted someone else to raise my children or see their “firsts” or major milestones. I wanted to be the person to spend the most amount of time each day with them. We are only give twenty-four hours in each day. Those first few years on one income as we added wee one #2 and #3 were years of focus and frugalness, but our family never did without. We went down to one car, bought a home with a suite, took in international students, cut cable and reduced our expenses, by as much as possible, through figuring out what our needs versus wants were.

As the kids grew older, I took forays into selling Hawaiian Green tea directly to customers, ventured into Referral Marketing of health products, worked as an online teacher at a Vancouver-based school and even worked in my dream job as a part time Physical Education Teacher at an elementary school. This is what I wanted to share about today and is the reason I decided to write this blog post . This P.E. teaching job was absolutely perfect for me. I worked a half day Monday and full days Tuesday and Wednesday. I had the gym doors open every single day at lunch for the students. I felt that I could be creative in the physical literacies that I taught and truly impact the school as a whole in terms of health and wellness. I had personal time to train for and race small triathlons on the weekends. PLUS, I could be there for my own blue crew on the four days I wasn’t working as well as not work momentously long days doing prep for my teaching job. BUT, the boys didn’t enjoy getting themselves to and from their own campus school in grades 1, 3 and 5. They began fighting a lot and being unkind to each other on a level that reminded me of growing up when my mom went back to teaching when I was in grade 1. My dream job was no longer my dream job as I left to work with upset kids at 7:45am or came home to chaos at 4:00pm. Due to my family of origin and sibling experience, I have a very low tolerance for my boys treating each other like a-holes just because they are related. The dream career came to a clear closure.

I changed my career in an exorbitant manner yet again. I said no to a returning contract as a Physical Education teacher and came back home full time for the next few years. During 2020, I was drawn back to work as an online teacher again at a new K-city based private school, which I love, but isn’t without some friction within my family.

During this winter season, I have often wondered, what would I be doing if I hadn’t changed my career in such drastic ways. What would my days look like? Where would we be living? Who would I be surrounded by? I am not sure if any other mom’s or dad’s can relate, but I sometimes wonder if I have given up too much. This life I lead working from home is often lonely, isolated and takes a lot of personal motivation/momentum as I don’t walk the halls or share daily energy with any colleagues anymore. I have always had big dreams, an ever growing thought life and a vision of making a major, positive impact on the world around me. By keeping my vision narrow and focused on my family, perhaps I have lost the bigger picture of my life.

Career change

On top of more career change.

With three children.

Narrow focus.

Big picture.

Exorbitant.

Or not?

I am not sure.

Have an epic Sunday folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

author, blogger, Boys, Education, Family, homeschooling, mom of boys, radical sabbatical, school, teaching, Wordsmith, writing

Imagine ~ Campus Education System vs. Home Learning Education System

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Imagine a learning world where you are amongst 29 other young humans that are your age, not your learning ability, but simply your age. Next add into this scenario one or two adults, that we call “teacher”. This is the campus system.

Now, imagine a learning world where you are amongst your family, learning in your neighbourhood, community or even travelling around the world. Next add into this scenario people of all ages, that we call “teacher”. This is the online learning system.

Imagine a learning world where you must be “present” and ready to learn between 8:25am and 2:30pm every Monday through Friday. Next add into this scenario when you are able to have holidays or days off.

Now, imagine a learning world where you can listen to your body and wake-up later in the winter and earlier in the summer. Next add into this scenario that you are able to take holidays when you choose to.

Imagine a learning world where you are required to follow a certain book or program because everyone else is doing it in your group. Next add into that your individual learning style that is different from how the book or program teaches.

Now, imagine a learning world where you choose the book or program based on your learning style and what you are interested in. Next, add into the program, deletions or additions that continue to build on what you already know and don’t know.

Imagine a learning world where you are embarrassed to go to the washroom or able to eat when your stomach is growling. Next, add into the program other young people that might verbally tease you or simply comment on these two natural functions of being a human being.

Now, imagine a learning world where you have cold or hot food available to you all day and your personal washroom is just down the hall. Next, add in an environment where listening to your body and your bodily functions are encouraged and praised.

Now, imagine this woman writing this post growing up in this campus learning world and now being blessed and fortunate enough to give her children a very different learning world.

That’s what I did.

I am privileged to have discovered this second world in 2014 as teacher. And now, I have had the privilege to experience it with our own three boys the last four year. It is very humbling and it is incredibly profound. I do not take these years learning in the world with our boys for granted. I do know that this isn’t for everyone, but I am FOR everyone to have an incredible campus or home learning experience whichever system you choose.

I love you.

Have an epic Sunday folks and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

blogger, Boys, Christianity, homeschooling, life, mom of boys, Parenting, radical sabbatical, Wordsmith

Be Finished Grade Seven

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Do you find your middles are always stuck in the middle? I thought that I would begin this sequence of blog posts by updating everyone on our middle guys journey over the last few years of this home learning life. Yeah for middles for adding spice to our lives.

CC moved out of French Immersion in grade four and came home starting in grade five. This was an influential time for him. His confidence was at an all time low as there were some boys that were very unkind and we realized that his learning changes were far beyond what we thought. He was receiving sporadic support at school, but nothing like he needed. He now receives weekly tutoring for one hour plus I work with him daily for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. In all areas of learning, his confidence has grown and he is seeing himself as a capable learner now. WHEW! We dodged a bullet on this one. We really didn’t leave the “campus school system” because we were unhappy. Our sole purpose was to create flexibility to travel with Sexy Neck and to take a “radical sabbatical” from the grind of everyday life. Here’s the full story! God really did have us in the palm of His hand, in more ways than one, when we started this in the fall of 2019, especially for our middle guy who’s life has been enriched by all the people who have loved on him, listened to him and shared in his learning over the last three years.

As CC finished off grade seven on June 10th, we realized that he had so much life and love POURED into him this year. He achieved his green belt in Taekwondo at Quest Martial Arts and now has his name on the wall as a member of the Black Belt Club with Mr. Rowe and family guiding CC in such a loving and disciplined way. CC was able to experience his first bus field trip when he went with Daddy and his international students to Vancouver. For fun, CC played soccer and basketball, did his first rail jam event up at Apex ski resort, and started refereeing in soccer. CC also did scuba diving, golf and swimming lessons this spring. CC LOVES his Goldendoodle 🐶, his new hat from Village Hat Shop in San Diego and every second with his brothers plus singing with his teacher Janel. He is very proud of the fact that he finished his first album “Sensation” containing 10 original songs. This guy really does love performing! He also staged a strike against a movie choice, strongly disliked our squid and eyeball dissection, as well as skied, skated, hiked and enjoyed every second learning in the world!

If you ever can’t find him, CC would be found working on his remote control cars or building one of his ideas in the garage using his hot glue gun or one of his daddy’s tools. It is a fun ride with this guy’s quick wit and super sense of humour. CC’s current goals are to be a truck driver, inventor or “puppy hugger”. As you will see over the next three blog posts, we definitely aren’t raising robots or mini-me’s. Helping the boys find their passions while exposing them to as many different situations and activities is our mission. This homelearning life has literally and metaphorically exploded since taking the boys out of a large box called “campus schooling”. We are grateful we were brave enough to give it a shot and grateful that our country allows choice for how students learn. Thank you Canada!

😘 Joanna

P.S. Sorry for the no photos. WordPress is really not allowing much storage on my ten year old ++ blog and I don’t want to stop this writing train now that I have gotten it started again. TOOT TOOT!