Tag Archives: love

Be Auntie Gail

April 8, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

My mom’s sister arrived yesterday to come stay with us. Every since our oldest was born, a sure sign of spring is Auntie Gail arriving at my parents for a visit. We always looking forward to seeing her.

I have especially been grateful for her immediate willingness to come jump in with our brood of boys, her contagious laughter and depth of stories. She reminds me of my mom in so many ways – her love of her children, her thought for my children, working side-by-side with Sexy Neck drying the dishes and really just being willing to come along on our wild ride.

Auntie Gail.

Deep strength.

Huge heart.

Beautiful children.

Contagious laughter.

Here is Auntie Gail enjoying her first ever Japanese food dinner.

Auntie Gail getting settled in her room. The boys ‘helped’!

Beautiful butterfly cups she passed on to me.

Auntie Gail had us all laughing our heads off as she attempted to use the walkie talkie.

Auntie Gail brought beautiful drawing pencils and paper for the boys. They all spent many hours drawing together.

Auntie Gail read Happy Pig Day to OC while we watched CC’s gymnastics.

Auntie Gail watching our youngest at gymnastics. OC loved having her to wave up to. She watched with a big smile on her face. What a gift!

She helped us have a painting play date with friends.

We enjoyed an after dinner walk to the duck pond.

Side note:
I haven’t been back to CC’s gymnastics centre since my mom died. Five days before my mom went into the hospital in December and just over two weeks before my mom died, mom insisted that dad drive her 60 kilometres down the road so that she could watch CC and OC do gymnastics.

I knew my mom was in pain. She still insisted on getting her own blue folding chair, placing it right beside the window so that she could watch her grandsons participate in class.

She was in pain. She smiled and clapped for her grandsons.

She was stooped over but she sat up straighter every time her grandsons looked over.

Resiliency.

Love beyond comprehension.

Support.

Thank you mom. Thank you for being the most selfless Nana.

Thank you dad for supporting mom’s ideas.

Thank you Gail for passing on this loving support to my boys these days.

Boys, Construction, Family, Grief

Be Building a Maisonnette

February 24, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

What did you yearn to have in your childhood home?

A cozy place to snuggle and read?

A place to climb?

A home for your dolls and toys?

Since the day we moved into our house last summer, our boys have wanted to build a fort/Maisonnette under the stairs.

A perfect hideaway.

A clubhouse.

A special space.

My heart longs to create a healing home where we can rest. As last week unfolded, I knew our family needed a project for the weekend. I immediately thought of the fort. We must have hit the right moment as the construction gears were in motion on Friday night about ten seconds after I mentioned the fort.

JC and Sexy Neck came up with the design. I cleaned out my stuff from under the stairs. The boys found some wood and they were off.

Here is the finished product on Sunday night:

The boys want to put wood on the sides, add a rope ladder, paint, add a curtain for privacy, a bookshelf and a few more nicknacks will come and go.

The boys were incredible working with their dad. Sexy Neck was amazing at involving the boys every step of the way. The were able to measure and cut wood. Problem solve when the wood wouldn’t fit on the platform. The boys screwed in the floorboard, OC was a natural. Finally, they got to choose everything that they wanted in the fort.

Building self-esteem.

Handwork.

Creating.

Bodies and minds in motion.

Encouraging.

The boys Maisonnette designed and created by them.

Being.

Boys.

Boys, Family, Parenting

Be Painting Yet Another Wall.

February 22, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

This wall is a paint can full of love for my boys.

First my man, Sexy Neck:

And then my wee boys:

My imperfect love poured out.

God’s redeeming love making it perfect.

All that I have.

All that I am.

Love I cannot describe.

Rich.

Humble.

Grateful.

A wife.

A mother.

Poured out through paint, through words, through actions.

Freely given.

Love.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Family, Grief

Be Fragile

February 9, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Often I don’t have the words to explain the person I am morphing into or how I am doing at a given moment. As I sit and wait and watch, I am amazed by the depth of feelings I experience both good and bad.

The dreaded question for the last few months has been, “How are you?”

I never know how to answer this, but on Friday I received tremendous insight and the ideal adjective.

First, the boys received a package from our good family friend, Donna, in 100 Mile.

Coincidently, her daughter, M, who lives in KCity chose this same day to drop off a treat and a beautiful card.

In the card she wrote this:

Did you notice the word fragile? I did.

Lastly, I opened my mail later in the afternoon and had to lie on the floor once I read this beautiful card from our old PG neighbour and good friend, Ginny.

Take a look at this:

Yup, fragile again!

“How are you Joanna?”
“I feel fragile. ”

My heart breaks in two anytime someone I love gets in a car. JC’s teacher’s words at his parent-teacher conference crushed me. Any small comment hit me at the core of my being.

I cry easily and feel deeply.

I am fragile.

Today, I choose very carefully who I interact with and where I go. I treat myself gently and give grace freely. I understand that I may not be the only person in this fragile place.

I am so grateful to those people who continue to walk with our family and my dad through our grief. I am grateful how God uses those around us.

A simple card.

A word.

Fragile.

Boys, Family

Be Marrying Your Mommy

February 6, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Sweet moments with our middle guy.

CC video:

Who are you going to Marry?

I have already been praying for my boys’ partners. I feel that who you chose to marry is one of the biggest decisions a person can make.

I chose one pair of my mom’s ear rings for each of their partners. I pray that they can feel mom’s love, kindness, thoughtfulness and adventurous spirit.

Lots of interesting conversations here as we row our boats of grief together.

It is a beautiful, rich family time.

Christianity, Family, Grief, Jesus Christ, writing

Be Asking Why You Blog

January 21, 2014 Be Enough 8 Comments

Why do I blog?

I don’t blog to earn money or to succeed at a job.

I don’t blog to get on Oprah’s network or to become ‘known’.

I don’t blog because I want people to like me or have people get to know me.

I don’t blog so that I can achieve any type of recognition or medal.

Ah ha, this is why I blog.

I blog to be completely present with my family, to be with my boys, physically and mentally, as they are growing.

I blog to watch in awe as my Sexy Neck father’s our boys.

I blog because I have a teacher’s heart. I love teaching by showing others what I am learning.

I blog because I love to write. I love playing with words, thinking about synonyms and metaphors and oh I love editing. Getting rid of words, making new ideas, rewriting whole paragraphs.

I blog because sometimes the topics I think of can’t be said. And I think about a vast array of subjects. Blogging gives me the privilege of sharing what’s in my head.

I blog because I am head over heels in love with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. His presence in my life in unexpected ways is something that I want to share. I want to see His light shine in this often dark world.

Recently, I blogged to support my mom’s cancer journey and reach out to those around the world who love us. (How much love did we receive? My views went from twenty– which I was very happy with– to over 800 views per day!)

Now, I blog to stay afloat in grief.
To stay real.
To do my painful work.
To see God at work and to stay connected to my people

I blog to just be where I am and to Be Enough to my family and friends.

Why do you blog or why would you like to blog? I am curious.

cancer, Grief

Be Existing, Be Okay Today

January 20, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

I exist in a world I never knew nor imagined.

I ponder my mom’s depth of knowing, her presence in all our lives and her amazing Sunday dinners.

I wait for my mom to walk through door and say, “Hi Joanna!”

I wonder how did she die and really what the hell happened.

I think about snowflakes, butterflies and my mom’s final smile.

I talk to the people that know our story, my dad, my cousins, my close friends.

I walk away from my old ways, my old complaints, the things that no longer serve me.

I hide from sympathy. I hide from shallow words and frivolous complaints.

I sit still and rest. Feeling my body for the first time in many months.

I watch, I look for some sort of sign. A sign from heaven.

I hover, waiting to see what unfolds.

I know I will be okay today and that is enough!

Boys, cancer, Grief

Be Sharing Food Love

January 17, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

If food was love my house (and my parents) would be exploding!

I am going to give you some insight into the last week. Just the last week! This food has been personally delivered to our doors with a smile and a hug.

Strap yourselves in here we go….

Fresh bread, fresh pie, turkey soup:

Thanks D!

Apples, pears, grapes and chocolate:

Thanks retired colleague!

Now, this one I wish I took more pictures of because it was a box of Mexican bonanza: Corn bread, chili, Mexican lasagna, shepherds pie and the fixings.

Thanks KCAM mommy A!

Today, I had a box of cookies arrive from the Island. Amazing D!

And now a wonderful woman and a husband of someone who worked with Steve brought over chili.

My heart overflows with gratitude for the food and the thought.

I probably have more pictures of food on my camera in the last week than my boys. How funny is that?

Food love.

Sharing the love.

Grieving the loss.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30	31

"Be" ENOUGH