Category Archives: Jesus Christ

cancer, Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Learning Lessons From A Hospital Bed

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Be present.

Be making a will.

Be asking people to pray for you.

Be honest.

Be talking about the hard things.

Be enjoying my mom’s breath.

Be letting go of expectations.

Be talking about God.

Be talking about death.

Be talking about poo.

Be real.

Be honest and say what you feel.

Be sitting.

Be listening to and learn from other people’s cancer stories.

Be loving.

Be open to any help you can get.

Be humble and gracious.

Be watching for where God is working.

Be eating even if you aren’t hungry.

Be having a good old cry.

Be asking for a hug and let the other person hold you up.

Be letting God hold you in the palm on His hand.

Be full of faith and trust.

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cancer, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Rooted

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My mom has had her pain and nausea under control for the last two days.

On Friday, she was moved into a private room on the women’s and children’s floor in the new hospital tower. It like a hotel compared to the hell hole she was in before. (Sorry I have racked my brain and I can’t think of another descriptor for her four person room in an incredibly busy ward.)

I am starting to move out of flight and fright status or “game face” as my sister and I call it. I feel my body relaxing. I am feeling my body again. Man I am hungry.

The exceptional nurses on this floor have everything under control. Our amazing angel Dr. Daniels has been checking on mom. Yesterday she visited three times.

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Dr. Daniels talking with mom and dad this morning.

Moms blood clot in her lung is dissolving, her bowels are moving and she even walked down the hall today.

My boys feel loved surrounded by all their cousins, aunts and uncles even though their mama is at the hospital many hours and is a tad bit distracted and teary.

God is good.

But none of this makes sense.

We continue to live in shades of grey, but I continue to reach down into the roots God has established for me in His word and with my family and friends.

” And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Bring on the chemo.

May we all know the fullness of God and just how wide, long, deep and high Christ’s love is.

Family, health & fitness, Jesus Christ

Be Questioning Cancer

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Cancer, I have a few questions for you that I want to ask you:

Why can’t the doctors find your origin?

Why are you wreaking havoc on my mom’s body?

The bloating. Pain. Discomfort. Hardness in her belly. The new aches and pains. The sleeplessness. Pain.

I am mad! If only they could find the origin they could then treat the cancer. Did you know that if you have cancer that began in the uterus that is also in the lung that the cancer in your lung is not lung cancer? Nope that cancer in there would be uterine cancer cells.

These are the little tidbits that I am finding out as we wait and wait and wait to find out where this cancer started. It is only when we know where it begun that treatment can begin.

Now what am I taking from all this? My life has become very small. My husband, my boys, my parents and a few very close friends.

Sorry new neighbours I will have to get to know you when this is all over. Sorry friends on the fringe, you fell off my rattley old turnip truck. Sorry relatives that I infrequently talk to, you too will have to wait.

What else can I take from this, every day is important! I love sitting by my mom in her bed while she rests. I love seeing my boys there too! I love hearing her laugh and man do I love to tease her. Every moment is special. Every moment has meaning. Every breath has hope. With God anything is possible.

May The Lord bless and keep my mama in this time of pain.

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Boys, Family, Flexibility, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Enjoying A Move From A Small Town To THE Big City

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We have moved! After two months and fourteen days of living in my awesome parent’s basement while doing renovations, our family of five and all our stuff has arrived at the new house.

Bye bye twenty foot storage container

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Hello to life with a swimming pool

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Yum for cheaper sushi. Our family’s favourite food! JC even ate Miso soup with me.

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Yeah for new discoveries: a frozen yogurt buffet where you choose from twenty different frozen yogurts, add a topping if you want, then weigh it to find out the damage.

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Now to just get everything into their rooms in a somewhat organized fashion.

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Stay tuned!

Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Not Knowing

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Hmpppff, we are two months and ten days into a six week renovation project.  We bought a “smokers” house.  Here and here are the sordid details.   It has been a difficult process for me.  More of the groaning and moaning here.  But nothing compares to the constant not knowing of the “mass” that lays in my mama’s abdomen.

Here’s my mom!

As we have been renovating, we have been living with my parents in their basement.  (No we don’t play video games!)

I have been completely baffled watching my mom in pain, on the couch or in her bed.

MY MOM RODE HER BIKE IN SPAIN IN APRIL WITH PEOPLE TRAINING FOR THE TOUR DE FRANCE!  MY MOM WAS RIDING 90KMS PER DAY.  MY MOM EVEN FELL OFF HER BIKE THREE TIMES!  HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING? Now my yelling will stop, sorry about that.

Anyways, the ebb and flow of my parents lives has changed into this every day living of “unknowing”.  Unknowing of whether my mom will get out of bed or will be able to fall asleep.  Not knowing what she will want to eat that day.  Unknowing of how to help or not to help depending on what she needs.   When to sit beside her and when to step aside.

I am living between two words right now, the one we are trying to create in our new home 60kms down the lake and my life here living with my parents and trying to support my mom and dad through their pain and grief.

Every day though, I have hope.  Hope knowing that God does know.  Hope knowing that He has placed people around me who can empathize, who really listen and hear what I am trying to convey.  I have hope that God wants to prosper us all, not by the words standards, but by His!

Glory to God alone.  It’s okay that I don’t know.  It is going to be very interesting to see how everything works out.

(This post has been percolating for awhile in my hamster wheel brain and I pray that it conveys the strength of my parents, the shock of this illness and the hope we place in God. )

Boys, Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Knowing About Alcoholism

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Boys, come sit down on our virtual couch tonight, we need to have a heart-to-heart chat.   I am going to tell you something very serious, very heartfelt and very important.

(BUT first, a cute  photo of one of Nana and Papa’s many costumes.)

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Alcoholism is in our family, our blood and it is something you need to be aware of.  No, don’t be afraid of it, just be aware.

Alcohol, like any addiction, will steal your days away, create a barrier between you and your loved ones and will make you do things you never thought you would do. 

We have a loved one that “relapsed” the last few days.  They went on a drunken binge.  They hit their head, which caused a gash that will probably need stitches or glue.   We know that they feel shame, guilt, sadness and all the hopelessness in their world.  

Unfortunately boys, there is nothing we can do.  They need God’s help.  

Addictions are powerful.  I know because I battle my daily addictions to certain foods, reality TV, Facebook and I am sure a myriad of other small things I rely on for comfort when my emotional storm comes.  Every day I need to be open to relying on God and those He has placed around me.  

I feel strongly that anything that harms your close, authentic relationships may be an addiction.  Are you playing too many video games instead of talking to your friends?  Do you think about playing video games all the time?  Or how about when you start drinking alcohol, you drink too much too often? Do you hide your drinking?  Do you think about when you can get your next drink?  Has anyone close to you mentioned that you may be drinking too much? 

Boys, please know that you are not alone, if you do end up struggling with alcohol.  Yes, alcoholism is in our family.   BUT,  it can be overcome, just ask your Great Grandfather who has been sober for over thirty years.  

May God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.  (From the Serenity Prayer that hangs on our bedroom wall)

Boys, I pray this day and many more days, that you will never know the sadness of alcoholism like we know, that you will never know the worry about what will happen next to your loved one with alcoholism and that you will never know the deep sorrow of coming out of a drunken binge.