All posts by Be Enough

Family, Grief, writing

Be Riding Waves of Gratitude

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Over two years ago, I started down a road that I never knew I would go down.  My energetic, athletic mom had cancer take over her body.  It pummelled her, humbled our family and eventually took her body on Boxing Day six months later.  

I rode waves of grief.  

Face planting.  

Knee crawling.  

Life stealing.  

Grief. 

I had never known pain like this. 

I had never lived a day without my previous mama.  

But I did.  

And I am.  

I was at the beach a few days ago and was watching this: 

  
And then I noticed a woman sitting under a tree, just like my mom used to, watching the boys play in the sand. I would have felt paralyzed by this before but now I just found gratitude in my heart for this beautiful woman who reminded me of my mama.  

  
I am living.  

Living with abundance.  

Living a life of my dreams.  

I am continually surrounded by saints on this earth.  

Friends who walk with me. 

Strangers who bless me with their presence.  

Friends who LOVE my boys. 

Friends who ask ‘how are you?’ And wait to hear the answer.  

Right now in my life, I am riding the waves of gratitude.  

It hits me every day at how blessed I truly am.  

I feel extremely grateful for who I am surrounded by, all that I have and all that I can do.  

The possibilities are truly only limited by my mind.  

My opportunities seem to flow into my dreaming mind and humbled heart.  

I am free.  

I am flying.  

I am riding waves of gratitude. 

 

Boys, Goals, mindset

Be a Dreamer

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As I grew through grade school, University, professional life and motherhood, my dreamer’s heart began to fade.   My mind became prominent in my life. Other’s words about myself and my life began to permeate my being.   My brain and other’s opinions became my driving force in what was ‘right’ for me.  It became the motor and the compass.  

Now, I am beginning to dream again.  I have found freedom to look beyond my current circumstances and be filled with wonder of ‘what if?”.  

Full on, life-changing, nourishing dreaming. 

I am surrounding myself with other dreamers and asking people about where they see themselves in five years if time nor money were a consideration.  I am dreaming every day and encouraged greatly to hear other’s dreams. 
My decision to dream combined with daily hard work and discipline has propelled us to become gypsies for a week, open our home to families affected by cancer or needing hospice care, reach my person health goals, allow our tall eight year old join a competitive gymnastics team and create a list of dreams I have looking forward to the next two years.  

Be a dreamer.  

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This post is dedicated to two incredible parents CC and TH.  We were talking about their son’s dream of playing NHL hockey.  CC said that he needed to stay in reality, but I want to encourage this whole family to dream. Remember the dream you had of owning a home and how you made it happen.  Dream of playing NHL hockey or professionally in Europe.  There is nothing holding this young man back.  He has two hardworking, dedicated parents who would help him in any way.  He has an outdoor backyard lighted rink with boards and lights!  Wow! He has a love and heart for hockey that just oozes out of him.  There is no barriers for this young hockey player. 

 Dream Zach, dream! It will propel you forward and take you to places you never thought possible.  Your dreams may change but I hope you never stop dreaming.  

  

friendship, mindset, Parenting, writing

Be Living a Dream 

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Our home is in another’s hand.  

We are roaming around our region in Grandma and a Papa’s truck and camper. 

No plans.  

No agenda. 

Just living in the moments that create our days and make our lives.  

It’s a dream of ours to do this.  

Creating a bit of financial freedom through sharing our home.  

Making carefree memories for our boys.  

Day one is complete with a stop for a paddle and kayak.  

  
Throw in a post-hockey camp tailgate party provided by friends celebrating their sixteenth wedding anniversary.   

 A stop at a beach then up the road for ice cream.  

Now we are tucked in and ready for sleep on our friends beautiful acreage with crickets singing us a nightly toon. 

Don’t be surprised if you see our rig pull into your driveway if you are living close by…. 

No plans.  

No responsibilities. 

One moment. 

One day.  

One life.  

Living a dream with my boys and friends.   

 

Business, Goals

Be Shocked at my Swimsuit

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Day by day.  

I never realized how my daily decisions could create so many changes and breakthrough moments in my life.  

One year ago… 

…I was never going back to teaching… But I found my dream job. 

…I was never going to ‘survive’ my mom’s death… But I did and my life has never been richer.  

…I was determined not to ‘give up’ on relationships… But I let them go and am finding freedom to live.  

… I was thirty pounds heavier, working out hard and wasn’t losing weight… But I am partnering with the company of my dream and have never been healthier. 

Dude! Daily choices do create huge changes.  

The proof is in the swimsuit.  

Shocked.  

Exhilarated.  

Excited.  

Savouring this moment.  

Look at ALL that extra fabric.  

Be enough, one mouthful, one relationship, one swimsuit at a time. 

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cancer, Grief, life

Be on the Water

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Two years ago, almost to the day.  I started on a journey where I needed to learn to ride in the waves.

No choice.

Just had to do it.

The waves were metaphors, but overpowering.

My breathe was taken out of me many times, but I choose to not allow it to not overcome me.

The diagnosis of my best friend and mom having cancer.

The death of my beloved mom on Christmas 2013.

My grief was like living in a boat.

Some days the journey would be surreal, warm and comforting.

But without a moment’s notice the waves would start to pummel me, push me under and make me gasp for air.

I didn’t know what to do.

I couldn’t “do” anything.

I need to just “be” in the waves.

Feeling what I was feeling.

Allowing the grief, sorrow, pain to come.

Allowing myself to learn and let go.

Two years later, I am starting to learn to ride on the water with my four boys surrounding me.

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The waves are infrequent. The water is calmer. I can truly say that I have learned to ride in the waves and am now enjoying a time of being on the water, in the water of life.

Yes, the waves still do come.

Yes, I honour those waves for what they have taught me and how they have helped me become who I am.

And I am full of overflowing gratitude.

For all that I can do.

For who I am.

I am grateful for my boys.

I am grateful for the people that God has surrounded me with.

I am full of gratitude for my mom, her life and her death.

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God, philosophy, psychology

Be Open to Feel and to the Endless Possibilities

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I have had my feelings hurt many times recently.

I wasn’t sure why.

I ponder these words.

Tonight, I had an aha moment when I realized I get hurt because I am open.

I allow people to tell me about myself.

I permit them to tell me things because it is easier for them.

I have heard that if I lose more weight I will look old.

I have listened as people questioned what I eat.

I have allowed conversation about how I organize my calendar. (Yes, I have colours for each wee boy so that I can keep everyone’s schedule straight.)

I choose to continue to be open.

I choose to deeply feel.

I am no longer taking the easy road or trying to make people feel “comfortable” at the expense of my feelings.

I continue to allow and encourage people to talk about themselves.

I am learning strategies to stop people from talking about and judging me.

I realize that people are hurting deep inside and makes it hard for them to talk about themselves.

I realize that being an open person makes people uncomfortable.

I realize that my life of freedom living with endless possibilities is disconcerting for some.

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And yes, I am going to die my hair a strip of purple to show remind me of my ‘shield of faith’.  (with my stylist)

Being open.

No longer hurting.

Feeling.

All things are possible!

Glory.

Goals, God, life

Be a Creator not a Consumer

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Created by the Creator.

To dream.

Ponder.

Live abundantly.

Love deeply.

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Our world tell us that we were create to consume.

Buy more.

Have more.

Do more.

And more.

And more.

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Make a choice to create.

Write.

Paint.

Garden.

Move.

Speak.

We are truly meant to be creators.

My heart overflows as I write each day.

Peace pours over me as I watch my children build paper cities.

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I love exploring what it means to be a creator created by our Creator of life!

life, mindset, musings, school

Be Pondering Newton’s Third Law

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In Mr. Voigt’s Chemistry 11 course, I sat in the middle of the science lab room on the right hand side.

I was a mid-pack kind of kid that was really trying to hide.  Numbers and science weren’t my forte.  I couldn’t feel anything from numbers and the subject of science, well, that was a whole bunch of really long, confusing words.  BUT the quotes on the right side of Mr. Voigt’s wall were a hook for me.  In his class, I started writing down quotes.  In my sixteen year old mind, I read over and drank up these quotes every day.    These quotes were more nourishing to me than any book or writing assignment that Ms. Birdsall did in English class.  (Yes, these were actually my teacher’s names.  Quite fitting aren’t they?)  These quotes help me survive and even thrive in Chemistry 11.

My favourite quote was: “Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.”

Today, I thought of Mr. Voigt and I must confess that for the first time in my life I was pondering something science-y.

Newton’s Third Law

Every action will cause an equal and opposite reaction.  (Did I get that right?)

A good example for me right now would be when I think about swimming in our pool.  I amazingly have strength to push the water backwards and miraculously the water pushes me forward.  Viola, Newton’s Third Law.

The crazy thing is not only have I been pondering this in the physical realm around us, but I have taken it a step further and am pondering it in the mental realm we create in our minds.

Do our thoughts create equal and opposition reactions?

Could thoughts be considered actions?

The reason that I have been thinking this is that over the last three months I have infused my mind with a potpourri of positive podcasts, the discourse of thoughtful, serving people and videos that are encouraging and motivating.

Could these actions pouring into and nourishing my mind be creating a new mental picture for my life?

Newton’s Third Law for changing your mind.

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Your dreams.

Your life.

Stay tuned.

This is only the beginning of this scientific experiment!