Tag Archives: grace

Be Having Dreams and Nightmares

I am not sure if you are a dreamer when you sleep or if you have ever experienced nightmares, but I am full entrenched in the dream/nightmare camp. For my entire life, I have always had vivid dreams and nightmares that I can remember even after I wake up. I can even still remember my nightmares from when I was child.

When I was a child, I would often have a nightmare of being in a wooden cabin where the floor would fall open, In other nightmares, there would often be fires in this same cabin. In grade six, I had a dream I could fly. I thoughts this dream was so real, I tried to fly away from a confrontation outside my grade six classroom. Let’s just say that it didn’t work and I couldn’t fly. On top of these dreams/nightmares, I would sleep walk. One time my mom caught me standing in front of my door knob screaming with my hand stretched out. (It was hot from the flames from the fire in my nightmare.) I also once went for a sleep walk out our front door. I don’t remember this, but I have often been told the story. Our neighbour Mrs. Wood was having her “bridge ladies” over for game night when my dad ran out our front door in his “tightie whities”. Mrs. Woods saved my dad and told him that she would turn me around. She gently guided me back into the house. I don’t remember a thing about what happened that night.

On top of some really vivid nightmares, I have also periodically had realistic dreams throughout my life. The main reason that this topic of dreams/nightmares came to mind today was because I have had many dreams about Jesus, the reason we celebrate Easter. If you haven’t checked out the story behind Easter, I highly recommend doing some research and especially learning about Jesus, Judas, Pontius Pilate, Barabbas, the 3 Mary’s at the empty tomb and Joanna. (I was named after my mom’s friend Joanna, but I don’t think it is a coincidence that my name shows up in the bible here!)

Growing up, I didn’t know about Jesus. I attended the United Church a few times with my family and I did piano recitals at my grandparents Anglican Church, but there were no deep conversations about faith or bible reading or any type of spiritual discussions around the dinner table. Once I headed to the University of Alberta to play volleyball (and kind of go to school. haha!), I was fortunate to get connected to Athletes in Action and a very spiritual family that was leaving a very legalistic, rule-based church. They taught me about the love of Jesus and the grace of God. They took me to church where the donation bucket that was sent around was a KFC bucket and the pastor was gay. Remember this was the early 1990’s, so this was rare. This led to a beautiful journey starting at 18 years old involving knowledge and experiences in my waking life and dreams about Jesus when I slept. I have had Jesus driving me in a car and been face-to-face with him in my dreams.

The craziest thing that happened in regards to my Jesus dreams is that I once went to a retreat centre in the early 2000’s in the hills of our city called “Seton House of Prayer” and when I was sitting in the retreat centre, I looked at the wall across from me. There was a painting of the face of Jesus from the dream that I had a year previously. (BTW, Jesus is not caucasian!) In this moment, I actually had to leave the retreat for a few hours and lie down. Shortly after the retreat, I was able to find a print of this painting and it now sits in our house. If you are ever wondering what my dreams of Jesus look like, feel free to come on over.

As we celebrate Easter and all that Jesus did for us as human beings, I pray that your heart overflows with peace, that your mind is filled with knowledge beyond your own understanding and that your body would be surrounded by God’s love. You are a treasure to him.

Have an epic Sunday and love what you do.

xoxo Joanna

Be Stealth with Hot Chocolate

Last week, we were tired and maybe a bit cranky.

We were having an ordinary, grumpy day, but then…

We drove by the high schoolers waiting for their morning school bus ride.

The boys and I started talking.

We noticed they were cold.

We thought they needed some hot chocolate.

We talked about surprising people.

Yup, they definitely needed hot chocolate.

I talked about how special high schoolers are and how hard they work at school.

Definitely they will need donut holes too!

This morning at 7:45am, we sprang into action.

We brought our kids table, picked up some hot chocolate and donut holes and we stealthily dropped them off.

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And look at our faces…

2015/03/img_8559.jpg No more grumpiness. We gave freely and we were blessed!

Then we stealthily drove by to see the faces of our high school hot chocolate drinkers. (JC took the picture)

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Happy day to our high school neighbours! We really hope you enjoyed the fourteen hot chocolate and fifty donut holes we stealthily dropped off for you.  The boys are into playing spies right now, so that made it extra fun!

Be A Giver of Great Gifts

Look who came to visit nana and I tonight:

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Santa, the giver of great gifts!

Thank you to all the Santas in our lives right now.

Great gifts:
– Booking flights from Australia, Spain, Whitehorse, Vancouver.
– Heartfelt Prayer
– Thoughts about my mom and our family
– Food and water
– Kind, gentle care
– Good pain medication. (Just say yes to drugs when you have cancer.).
– Facebook messages/Blog comments
– Pictures to share with mom from afar.
– Michelle Miller (Pain Specialist) taking the helm.
AND so many other things.

Full of gratitude for God’s great mercy and for how He has used people in our lives today to help mom.

Be Seeing God’s Hand.

In the depth of despair, the busyness of my mind and body I carried throughout my previous days have been stripped away.

The fog that covered my eyes has been lifted, I guess anguish will do that for you.

Gently, I see God tapping me and the people around me on their shoulders, asking, “Do you see me at work?” Interesting on the first day of school, I saw a women carrying this book that I was given while my mom was in the hospital.

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Also on the first day of school, I walked into the schoolyard with our realtor who helped us buy our house as well I saw an old childhood friend, Marie.

Lovingly, I see angels surrounding my parents with love and security, protection from illness and familiar faces.

Amazingly, I sense God’s healing presence in my relationship with many people. Showing me what stuff I need to deal with in my own life and the other stuff that isn’t mine. Oh I have stuff! I need to stay out of other people’s business with God. Get out of the way so that God can do His work.

Gratefully, Jesus loves us all without comparison. We all fall short when compared to God’s glory but Jesus came to be a bridge for us all to know God’s love, forgiveness and grace.

In the depth of sadness, I see God’s hand in action touching me and those around me.

Thank you God for helping walk through my anguish.

Be Surrounded By God At The Skateboard Park

Before I had my boys, I was never one to frequent the skateboard park.

As I stood at the park today, I realize I was afraid of them because they were an unknown entity. I had a lot of fears as I have gone through my life, but now with mom’s cancer diagnosis, time in the hospital and journey home, these fears are insignificant.

Today, I chose to take my boys to the skateboard park. And not only did I get to see my boys rip around the park in the rain, but God showed me His sovereign love.

God’s love was expressed through the boys freedom to try new things, the grace they give each other when something goes ‘wrong’, and the joy that flows through them as they zip around the park.

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I don’t doubt that these words were put down in the bottom of the skateboard ramp were put there for me on this day. I also don’t doubt that the only way I can walk through these days is because of the prayers of the saints that walk this earth with me – thank you my saints!

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“Faith. Hope. Love. You are loved!” Thanks for the reminder.

Be Remembering

I remember running in fear to and from the stop sign,

searching, looking for the boogie man.

I remember monsters lurking under my bed and around every

corner and in every closet.

I remember fire, falling and blindness in my dreams,

sometimes I still remember those.

I remember being trapped in a bin, outside the house,

in closets, in darkness.

I remember being shut out, turned from, not listened to,

I ran away alone.

I remember sleepovers I didn’t want to be at,

many I came home from.

I remember feelings of discomfort, judgement, inability to live up to expectations,

oh ya, I still have those.

I remember fearing alcohol, the effect on my body and others.

I remember preaching abstinence from it.

NOW I know in my body the light,

I remember God’s light shining in my basement bedroom in 1995,

I remember God’s love, His acceptance, His peace, His kindness, His grace.

I remember His ways are not my ways.  Everything doesn’t have to make sense.

I remember God is who He says He is in the bible, in nature, in wise people around me.

I remember the fragrance of heaven surrounding me.

I remember to trust, let go of performance and to REST.

I remember the FoRest, by the pond where God meets me.

I remember His word is alive and active in ME… yup me.

I remember to swing and to allow God to push me.  Swing Joanna!

I remember that I will be healed in 2013.  Glory, Hallelujah.  Thank you Jesus.

My Favourite Song to end off this post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8welVgKX8Qo