Boys, Goals, health & fitness, writing

Be Flying in the Sky

March 9, 2015 Be Enough Leave a comment

Soaring.

Laughing.

Pure joy.

Freedom.

Nothing holding him back nor slowing him down.

He is strong within himself.

He can do so many things.

He can fly through the sky.

At only three.

I wonder what he will be doing at thirty-three?

Thank you to my outdoor fitness leader, Krista, for capturing this moment while ~~my thighs were on fire~~ I was working out!

Boys, friendship, humour

Be Had by a Hat

March 5, 2015 Be Enough Leave a comment

I was gotten.

I was had.

By a hat!

In my beautiful, handmade salad dressing!

This little ditty started way back in 2009… SIX YEARS AGO.

It started with a cake and here is the story.

For over two years, this hat has now been going back and forth between my friend Double D and I.

Last week, I kindly asked my friend Double D if I could get some of her amazing, beautiful balsamic salad dressing that I think she should sell. I pulled into her house on Friday afternoon, looking for her to jump out of somewhere and throw the hat into my car. Previously, I had put the hat ten feet up in her tree when she was away on a relaxing weekend away.

I searched the bag and NO HAT! I looked under the paper in the bag and NO HAT!

Whew!
Relief!

Joy!

Peace!

The hat was STILL in her hands!

But then, alas, I opened the beautiful jar of creamy, delicious handmade salad dressing.

I fell on the floor.

I groaned and I moaned.

And the boys laughed and laughed and laughed.

I WAS HAD BY A HAT!

A few boys are very happy about the hat! CC has been wearing it ever since it arrived back in our home via salad dressing.

Dude! Don’t mess with Double D. She is one smart and creative woman!

Boys, Grief

Be ‘Out of the Mouth’ of Boys

March 2, 2015 Be Enough Leave a comment

Tonight at bedtime, we were have cuddle and talk time, like we usually do.

But this evening was quite unusual.

I was lying with seven year old, JC, and three year old OC.

OC snuggled into my neck and licked me. Yup, like a cat.

He started to giggle.

I asked, “Why did you do that?”

Seven year old JC piped up from beside of me, “He is trying to get Nana’s love into your heart?”

Wow! Out of the mouth of boys!

Family, God

Be Living with a Surplus

March 1, 2015 Be Enough 1 Comment

My previous post was me flat on my face again. I didn’t know why but the waves hit me hard and fast after my grandma’s death and subsequent interactions with others.

But the ‘hard’ things don’t push
me down for long anymore and I am grateful for the tremendous amount I am learning about myself.

I am also VERY grateful to those who walk with me, with their honest perspective, throughout these times. You know who YOU are my messengers, phone callers and texters from the last week.

As I reflect on the last few weeks, I realized it has been weeks of me being inundated by people who choose to live their lives from the perspective of a ‘deficit’.

Nothing is good enough.

No one can say the right thing, including me.

Even though they live in a first world country they are never ‘rich’ enough.

Everyone is either taking advantage of them or ripping them off.

But I am now stepping aside from these folks living with deficits because I know this doesn’t work for my life.

Time is precious.

Days are short.

Houses and money will come and go.

Time, I ain’t getting back.

The gift my mom (and dad) have always given me is living a life of surplus.

We had enough, even when my dad started his own business and the money wasn’t flowing. My parents were frugal and saved, and also generous and grateful.

They always donated their money and helped people out financially. They didn’t wait until such and such happened, they just did it.

Mom volunteered her time, was the family organizer and poured into all her relationships.

She had enough.

She was enough.

I need to remember I can ‘be enough’, but definitely NOT to everyone.

Seek those living in surplus.

See what you can accomplish together.

Give freely.

Be enough.

Hugs from the hill:

God, writing

Be Using Words as Weapons

February 27, 2015 Be Enough Leave a comment

Heat comes over my body by the words said to me.

The slice me.

Dice me.

Cut me up.

For many weeks now I have chosen to be quieter in my life.

Be still.

Use less words.

But this change makes people uncomfortable.

The one who had the words of many, now has words of few?

The change from many to few words was swift, like a swipe of a sword.

It started three and a half weeks ago…

I shared an idea, just a fun, easygoing idea with someone close, but often my ideas are questioned.

I still try to share.

Call me an optimist or perhaps even crazy.

Sometimes my explanations must be Russian due to the confusion. (I don’t even speak Russian!)

Why can’t ideas be encouraged, valued, and built up?

Why do they need to be questioned until nothing is left and all excitement is gone?

Next, I found out that my grandma died by a forwarded emailed from my mom’s sister, that I haven’t heard from since my mom died. This Aunt I spent EVERY Christmas, Easter and summer vacation with growing up! We lived in the same town.

She said my email didn’t work.

The same one that I have had since email was invented.

And then, I heard from a friend going through a very stressful time. Their body was exhausted, they felt their life was a disaster. They were overwhelmed with overwhelming life.

I told them my latest mistake and I shared a funny story but they said they didn’t need that. They told me just to pray.

Lastly, I tried to help someone out. I did something they asked me to do. I did what they were suppose to do. And all I heard were complaints about their health, their money, their stuff.

They didn’t once use the words, “thank you”.

We are thoughtless in our words that cut like a sword.

In our Western comfy world, our words are weapons.

They belittle instead of build up.

They chastise instead of praise.

They truly cut me up.

Broken.

Torn.

No words can diffuse this pain.

Off for a run!

Uncategorized

Be My Grandma – 95 plus 6 days old

February 13, 2015 Be Enough 5 Comments

I went to University to play volleyball, accidently received a degree and got to know my Grandma.

My grandpa was the best! Not the best dad, according to my mom, but the best grandpa. He always let us play in the barn on the farm, took us for sled rides in the snow and let us help him. He was patient and funny, but not the easiest man to live with.

If my grandpa was the best, my grandma should be a saint. She was my grandpa’s later-in-life bride, but my Grandma Mary ended up being my closest living grandparent and my favourite.

When I went away to University, I moved to the town where my grandparents lived. The town where they went to the horse races (my grandpa loved horses), the town where they spend almost every moment together and the town where they created a home for me to go to. My grandma was my mirror because she was so good at reflecting back my feelings. She had an inner knowing that couldn’t be explained. She was selfless in her questions. She was kind in her answers. She was forgiving and gentle. She was a beautiful singer. An awesome bingo player! A beautiful person.

She gave me a potato pot for our wedding. Every family needs a big potato pot to cook with for their growing family.

She never met my boys, but she saw lots of pictures. She was always grateful for anything I did.

She was always excited to hear what they were doing. She listened well.

She was the first person I talked on the phone to about my mom’s death and she really, really got it. She knew my mom’s heart because her heart was the same. The both sure loved curling!

And now my heart is broken again.

Shattered in pieces by loss.

Grandma Mary died six days after her ninety-fifth birthday.

Well-lived Grandma!

You lived an excellent life.

Grandma Mary… I love you more than you know. Thank you for feeding me like a queen while I lived the University life. Thank you for getting to know Steve and I and our boys. Thank you for being a peaceful presence. Thank you for welcoming me into your ways, your family and for living with my grandpa. I always wish I could have done more, visited you more up north and just spent more time in your presence. Love you Grandma!