Do you have any teeny tiny dreams that are wriggling around in your heart right now? I have had one for years. I didn’t know how it would be possible, or even if it would be possible, but it was wiggling and jiggling around. I wanted to take our boys to Europe. To see, smell, taste how we lived for three years in Europe before they were born.
We spent our first year of marriage, at the age of 23, in a northern town in France called Harnes. Sexy Neck was playing professional volleyball and I coached and played a bit too! I used to go running around Vimy Ridge, carefully staying to the trails as I didn’t want to detonate a latent bomb from WWI.
We spent our 29th and 30th years on this earth in Germany and Switzerland.
At 32, I discovered I was pregnant with our first son while travelling in Europe for our friend’s Patrizia and Roman’s wedding in Switzerland.
And now, we are 45, our boys are 12, 10 and 8, and we are taking our radical sabbatical on the road…. to Europe!
29 days.
5 countries.
Hotels, hostels, a bible school, a mountain resort only accessible by tram, the Oberamerhof where we lived in Germany and dear friends’ homes will be our abodes for this adventure.
Over 3000 kilometres in a stick shift European automobile and on the autobahn to boot! Those little towns we lived in don’t even have a train station, so its car travel for this family.
Plus some gymnastics training thrown in for fun!
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Where would you go if you could choose an adventure for your family?
Any advice on travelling Europe with kids?
Here we go folks.
The dream is unfolding in under a week!
We know we will get lost.
Meet the most interesting people.
See castles, villages, forests and cities.
Eat interesting food.
And get hug after hugs by our amazing friends.
I am MOST excited about this last one.
Friends we have known before we had children.
Friends who grew with us through living overseas, travelling and having children.
Friends who have walked the gift of grief with us from across the Pacific.
Friends who just “know”.
The words aren’t always known, but the feeling is unexplainable.
And now they get to meet our boys.
Dreams do come true!
Let this 3000 kilometre adventure unfold in His will.
Do you like surprises? Have you ever been surprised so much that it makes you jump and shriek? (I used to love surprising my mama!)
I am jumping for JOY over this radical sabbatical right now.
As a volleyball player I was never known for my vertical, but I think I can fly right now.
The boys driving their “learning”!
I love seeing my boys happy.
Truly happy.
No more morning stomach aches before school.
I love living this small space, small refrigerator and no dishwasher life.
Hands in the warm water and our family working together to get cleaned up.
I love wandering with no direction.
Walking out the door, into the woods and then deciding which direction to head.
I love being so far away from town that I don’t pop anywhere.
At. Any. Time.
I love the relationships I have that are growing deeper through fascinating conversations and not just two minute fly bys in the school parking lot.
Facetime. Phone Call. Texts. They all keep us genuinely connected to those people who are embracing our radical sabbatical and supporting us on this journey.
I love perspective brought on by the time and space of stepping out of life’s routines and the mundane moments of life.
Time.
Space.
To do the work that I need to do to accept the death of people I have loved deeply, to accept the direction that my family of origin has taken, and to accept where I am right at this moment.
Acceptance.
I love learning acceptance.
I love less laundry. We wear pretty much the same thing every day, except when we go into town.
I love making a weekly meal plan, ordering my groceries, picking them up and sticking to it.
Like I mentioned, we don’t pop anywhere. Nothing is open at the ski hill right now, so we are flying solo or relying on the generosity of wonderful neighbours, if we forget anything from the grocery store.
I love our simple super food nutrition that gets delivered to our door.
I love saving money.
I love being stretched to try new things. Living a small refrigerator life has caused me to find an alternative to the gluten free Costco pizza crusts we used to devour. I have been making sourdough spelt bread and pizza crust from scratch. Can you believe it? And I love it. It is incredibly simple to do and takes only a bit of prep time either the night before or the morning of. Small spaces need simplicity and I am finding it through baking.
Our family loves to walk, no matter where we are in the world. We love to explore on foot and see what we will see. No agenda, no timeline, just walking, talking and seeing what is around us. We have noticed that there is a rhythm in the mountains that is more in touch with the seasons. There is a flow that reminds me of squirrels. Right before the season change in autumn, people were bustling around chopping wood and preparing their homes and cabins for winter. It was a beautiful thing where families worked together and often ended the day with time around a fire. The city doesn’t really have this flow. It seems that most people have similar routines and rhythms no matter the season. I encourage everyone, as you read about our radical sabbatical, consider the seasons of the year that exist where you live and what could those different seasons look like. I believe that change is a great things for human beings to feel fully alive, and noticing the seasonal changes can help us live in the present moment.
I love watching my boys learn and seeing where their learning takes them. I am surprised at how much they love learning. My boys previous love of schooling involved recess as the highlight.
Amongst ALL of these surprises the largest have been my absolute delight to step outside of the “school system” and the holiday of Halloween.
I am jumping and shrieking as I write these words.
Eeeeeekkkk!
These were scary to jump out of culturally, but oh so wonderful now.
The “school system”.
All Hallow’s Eve.
Schools are filled to overflowing with delightful teachers and parents as well as amazing kids. But anywhere that there are more than a few people gathered, there are bound to be systems in place to make things “easier”. A system meaning “procedures, principles or methods in which something is done”. These ‘procedures’ and individual teacher’s ‘principles’ often are there for the greater good of a class. From personal experience as an elementary school teacher, I know it is really hard to truly individualise learning in a school system and to really see our students every single day. Not every child’s needs can be met on a semi-regular basis. Teachers do need to have eyes on their students, so they can’t have them zipping around the neighbourhood or even the school grounds during class time. We are truly grateful to be outside of this system for this year of homeschooling. As I write these words, my eight year old is researching bakeries in Paris, my ten year old is learning about “Game Theory” in Math and my twelve year old is zipping around the online program IXL learning about Grammar. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. They are fully immersed in their learning. Soaking it up and working hard. The past seven years in the school system, I have 2 times per month, taken my boys out of school to ski or enjoy a day at home or to go visit relatives, but I didn’t feel good about it. There was this tension that they would “miss” something. As we have stepped fully away from the “school system”, I don’t feel that we are missing ONE. SINGLE. THING. Truly.
The boys meeting with their teacher.
My other huge surprise this fall has been realising the energy and thought that went into the holiday of Halloween for our family. How do you feel about Halloween? For me, it has always been a holiday with a spiritual ramification that I try to ignore. Is it a dark holiday that creates more bad than good? We may have to ask a law enforcement officer to answer that one. I don’t know the answer to this question because the optimist in me always creates good from every situation that I encounter. I have chosen to embrace Halloween because I love the opportunity it provides for my boys to be creative with their costumes and meet our neighbours. How often do neighbours get a knock from a child to say “hello”? Yes, my kids do love the candy too, but for me, I love the opportunity to say hello and get to know our neighbourhood. I wonder if my boys will miss it this year. We will be standing on the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France on October 31st and most likely walking up the 674 steps. We thought this would be a fun alternative to Halloween this year! We did have our eleventh annual pumpkin carving get together with friends, which is always a highlight. Other than that, we are stepping aside from Halloween this year. Whew!
Jumping for joy.
Happy boys.
Small space living.
Less laundry.
Simple super food.
Saving money.
Shrieking.
Jumping.
Grateful on this Thanksgiving 2019 for this opportunity to be surprised on this radical sabbatical.
What does this radical sabbatical actually look like and is Sexy Neck working? Are we divorced? Where are you? What are we doing? These have been the pervasive questions over the last month as we have lived this radical sabbatical. Some people have been inspired, some people have thought we are crazy and others have just looked at us with wide eyes as we explain how we are living.
5 people.
Yes, Sexy Neck and I are 100% in this together. (And not divorced)
900 square feet.
Condo living.
8 months.
On the top of a mountain.
At a ski hill.
With the cows.
Travelling to Europe and Asia.
Homeschooling.
Not volunteering for anything.
Taking a radical sabbatical from the life we previously knew in the city.
What does this radical sabbatical actually look like for our family of five?
The boys do formal schooling Monday thru Friday from 9:00am to Noon. This formal schooling involves the 3 R’s – reading, writing and math! And I am hitting them hard. Going over basic facts, teaching them grammar and helping them understand the basics of the english language. They are writing in a journal, writing stories and doing research. Our 12 year old is researching Ancient Rome and Tesla. Our 10 year old is immersed in simple/complex machines and robots. Our 8 year old learned everything he could about Bobcats. Did you know they pee in the water so that they don’t leave a scent? Previously, the boys have been in French immersion, so the older boys have been doing their math in french and our youngest continues to write in french. But, I haven’t been stressed about it. If we decide to dive back into french next year, we will do a bootcamp in the summer to help them get back up to speed. This year is all about filling in some educational gaps that I see and having fun learning about what they are interested in.
Now, to talk about Sexy Neck! Right now, he is in Mexico City sitting at a fair, promoting his school district to families considering international education. And he LOVES it! Sexy Neck isn’t taking a radical sabbatical this year, but we are one hour closer to his work, so he does have a shorter commute! We are looking forward to joining him on a few trips that he is going to be taking for work. Sexy Neck LOVES his job and couldn’t imagine leaving it. It is truly what he was meant to be doing: a combination of education, business, travel and working with people. His dream life! We are happy that our radical sabbatical works alongside his dreams and brings him freedom from his commute and a more relaxed mountain life. He also loves backcountry skiing, which he can do every day after work in the winter. Truly his dream life!
Everyone who knows us, knows our backgrounds in Kinesiology and our love for physical literacy. All of our boys have done gymnastics from very young to eight years old. After eight they could choose to continue in gymnastics and our two older boys have. They love the community of boys, their coach and being able to achieve their personal goals through gymnastics. Thus, our radical sabbatical involves two days per week commuting one and a half hours each way back to the city so that the boys can practice with their team. Other than gymnastics, our sporting life will involve exploring the ski hill we are living on and embracing every day of winter. The boys have a goal of skiing every single day of the ski season. We know it will be “Canntastic”!
Lots of people have been wondering about our daily routines. To recap, here are a few of our routines that we have established for this radical sabbatical:
The 3R’s Monday thru Friday from 9:00am to Noon. And yes the boys say it is hard. And yes, we do have a lot of fun and flexibility. The boys take a recess break when they choose and they also choose where they work within our 900 square feet. Sometimes it’s on the floor, on our bed, at the kitchen table and often it’s at their desk. Sexy Neck is teaching them guitar and I am doing the rest with their teacher and our friend, Michelle, from Traditional Learning Academy.
Sexy Neck is fully involved in his work as a Principal of International Programs. He continues to embrace his role working with his students, the homestay families, his amazing staff and of course travelling to promote his program.
The boys are continuing with gymnastics and loving every minute of it. It is very motivating and they love the goals they have set: our ten year old wants to do an 8 second handstand and our twelve year old wants to do a giant on the high bar all by himself. WOW!
Outside of these routines, I have been personally surprised by four different pieces of this radical sabbatical:
1. Our garbage and recycling has reduced significantly. From one large black bin of garbage per week, to one medium-sized black bag. To one large blue recycling bin every two weeks, to one medium blue Tupperware per week that I will sort at the recycling depot in about five minutes. This surprise feels pretty amazing.
2. It’s outstanding to see the people who have stepped up to support us on this journey. We know that it truly does take a village to educate our children. Not only did we take the boys to Barkerville, a town from the 1800’s to kick off the school year, we took them to Science World and the boys got a welding lesson from their beloved Papa in his beautiful garage. The two older boys learned to weld, drill, grind, sand, paint and create a rebar coat hook with their initial on it. This was really incredible to see!
3. Living in a condo with no balcony and no private outside space, I was worried about what our outside time would look like. If you know us, we spend a ton of time outside during a day, even when the boys were in brick and mortar school. The boys and I have LOVED the mountain life. We love the exploring on foot and by bike. We love the terrain. Sexy Neck has loved climbing to the top of the ski hill. Bring on the snow! I cannot wait to see what that life will be like covered in white!
4. As the daughter of a teacher and a teacher myself, believe it or not, schooling has always been a thoughtful, somewhat worrysome process. The interesting thing about homeschooling is that I am being more intuitive: watching the boys learn, seeing what lights them up and letting them lead. No yearly plans, just living in the moment and finding resources as I need them. No stress of the September startup: Wondering which friends they would be with and which teacher they would have. Throughout the boys schooling, I known the importance of a teacher and their influence on their students. We have been fortunate to have incredible teachers and we have grown through some excruciatingly inflexible and mediocre ones. I am incredibly proud and honoured to be my boys’ teacher this year for grades three, five and seven. We don’t know if we will continue homeschooling next year, but for this month, it has been magical. I have learned that my boys LOVE to learn. They have embraced all the new skills I have thrown their way, including making a meal (spaghetti and meatballs), taking them to my health and wellness conference (anyone need more energy, want to sleep better, perform better or get rid of your fluffy tummy I am your girl) and learning to sew (curtains for their triple bunk!) alongside those 3 R’s that I talked about. I have seen where my boys have gaps in their learning and I have been able to fill them: capitalization, divisibility rules, number patterns, phonics, oh my! My heart is full. And only two pencils have been thrown in the process by my ten year old! A boy after my own heart with his emotions right at the forefront. I feel very grateful for this time together. I am not surprised at how much I truly LOVE being their teacher.
On September 26th, we celebrate our youngest’s eighth birthday.
We celebrate one month of this radical sabbatical.
We sit atop this peaceful mountain and ponder the adventure to Europe in November.
The projects that we want to learn about and where our questions will take us.
I have always believed that the beginning of all knowledge is asking a question.
And I wonder where this radical sabbatical will take our family.
And it begins… THIS IS day one! Truly, we really started two months ago when we rode away from school. We rode away from a structured school system with times and schedules that often aren’t in the best interest of our children. We rode away from preconceived notions of a 9 to 5 daily life. We also rode into a life of the unknown, a life of exploring, a life where every day of the week can be similar or wildly different. A new and familiar way.
Finding our rhythm.
Exploring new places.
Learning about our boys.
Closer to nature.
Closer together.
Our radical sabbatical.
As we stepped away from school, the first step was to find a distributed learning school that would meet the needs of each of our boys. I phoned and emailed many schools. There were some that would send you weekly assignments and others where you could decide exactly what you could do with no teacher direction. There is even “unschooling” where you don’t follow any curriculum and don’t work with a teacher. We chose something in the middle, partnering with the school that I used to work for before becoming an ‘accidental entrepeneur’ with the nutritional company that changed my life and I chose to partner with. I am a trained teacher, but I know where I want my focus to be: Coaching my people to their best life and supporting my boys. The teacher we have the privilege of working with was my vice principal when I worked with as a Homeschool teacher and is also a very good friend. Once we decided on the school, the teacher and I created a student learning plan for each of the boys. These are individualized plans where myself, Sexy Neck and each of our boys would sit together and talk about our goals, and what are the strengths and needs of each of them. It was rich!
Sabbatical schooling.
Personal goals.
Individualised plans.
Rich conversations.
Dreaming big.
Keeping things simple.
One wants a Youtube channel.
Another wants to complete a standing back flip.
And our youngest just wants to play with Lego.
Every child will be heard.
Every one of our son’s will get opportunities to lead.
We will get the opportunity to learn.
More about our boys.
More about their ways.
More about what fires them up.
More about what slows them down.
Sabbatical schooling.
Once we created a plan around schooling, we knew the next step was to find renters for our home so that we could live in a smaller space, closer to Sexy Neck’s work without having to worry about being away from a house for long periods of time. We knew we were ready to live in our two room 900 square foot ski condo. Imagine a hotel with two adjoining rooms, one with beds and a bathroom and another room with a kitchen and hide-a-bed. Eh viola, you have exactly the picture of what we would be living in. We divinely found renters for our home through an old friend who reached out and said, “Hey, do you know anyone who is looking to rent out their home, my daughters are coming to university?” Oh ya, we do! We have know these daughters since they were wee ones and we knew that they were the perfect fit for our home!
The right people.
The right timing.
The right place.
Everything falling into place.
Unfolding effortlessly.
Without worry.
Without stress.
Walking out our dreams.
With this radical sabbatical.
In this small space.
With big dream.
Our radical sabbatical.
Once we had the school chosen and the house rented, it was time to declutter and start planning. And oh the decluttering we did. Following Dave Ramsey’s sage financial advice, we proceeded to sell more than $1,000 in clothes, toys and even a bed we weren’t using. I went through every single storage box in the basement and every cupboard and closet in the house. It was freeing! Stuff entangles me! Lastly, I went through all of my teaching boxes and found the resources that I knew I wanted to use. Four boxes widdled down to two boxes of treasures that I knew would help my boys learn.
Simplicity.
Freedom.
From stuff.
From clutter.
From chaos around us.
Freeing.
Simple.
As our radical sabbatical begun, the only thing left to ponder and pray about was what would we do to start the first day of school! We decided that a 1766 kilometres round trip road trip was in order. We visited two very special cabins for two nights each and ended up stepping into the 1800’s in Barkerville for the first day of school.
Stagecoaches.
Gold panning.
Old fashioned candy.
Cowboy boots.
Large hats.
Heavy guns.
Singing in the street.
King House B & B.
Three happy boys starting this first day of school in grades three, five and seven.
Lessons are everywhere if we look for them! Especially lessons about the culture we want to create for our kids.
After watching my boys learn and negotiate playing ping pong with each other, I have become clearer on exactly what I want for the culture within my family and business. Imagine a little white ball going back and forth, off the roof and walls, teaching us about culture. Yup, that’s how I roll! Lessons are around every corner and at the end of every ping pong paddle.
Here are my three tips for anyone that wants to create a culture where everyone is treated like the royalty they are.
A king.
A queen.
Uniquely created.
Individually gifted.
God-given talents.
Royalty.
My King/Queen culture is:
1. Calm & Strong.
2. Focused & Fierce
3. Humble & Proud.
When my boys were hitting the ping pong ball back and forth, the boys that were calm and strong were the most successful. Flailing, getting annoyed, crying, having temper tantrums on the floor and flopping around like a a leaf in the wind, didn’t help move forward the skills my boys were trying to learn in ping pong. In my life, when I have allowed my emotions to run rabid and guide me, I am neither calm nor strong. In the culture I am creating, calm and strong must reign. The ability to be present exactly where you are, as exactly who you are. The ability to look at situations and what’s happening around me with a peace in my heart and knowing I can handle anything.
Calm & Strong.
Have you every played ping pong or tennis or any other racquet sport? How do some players just smash the ball into the corner of the court? How do they always seem to hit the exact spot that you can’t reach? They are one hundred percent both focused and fierce. They seem to not hear nor see anything happening around them but the object they need to hit. This is the culture I want to create. And something my oldest son has mastered in ping pong. He can really hit that ball. In this King/Queen culture in my business, the focus is first on the person being helped or served. Nothing else matters, I listen without judgement or preconceived notions. I am fiercely focused on finding out what they need and how I can help. Looking for that exact spot where they might have a nutritional hole that needs to be filled.
Focused & Fierce.
Lastly, in this culture the one that will be the most successful must be both humble and proud. When I was watching my boys play ping pong, I could sense the happiness and sense of pride in a shot well done and I knew that they were humble when they won. No showboating or boasting would have been tolerated by the other brothers. Isn’t it amazing to see people that love what they do, take pride in what they do, but are also willing to learn. I truly believe that having a humble heart that knows there is more to learn is such a beautiful thing.
Humble & Proud.
A culture of people willing to learn. A culture of people open to what’s happening around them.
Living as human beings that are:
Calm & Strong.
Focused & Fierce.
Humble & Proud.
In all areas of life, but especially while playing pingpong.
More today, now than ever, we need connections and people to mentor us on our life journeys. Between the smoke and mirrors of social media and the messages being portrayed in movies, streaming and in advertisements, finding our individual growth journey is more important than it ever has been. Slowly, we are inundated with the perfect lives, the neatly wrapped up stories and lives that are missing connections with the people breathing all around us. We have forgotten to look around. We are often looking at our phone missing the people around us.
Look out.
Look within.
See the beauty around you.
See the beauty within.
As I thought about people who have helped me become the “flower” that I am: colourful, a bit tattered at the edges, long, strong and loving life amongst my other flowers, I have realised that there have been four key people who have helped me on my journey.
Donna S, one of my mom’s very best friends, has been my soil. She has provided nourishment at the right time of my life. She has always held space and made space for me to be me. I have never felt judgement from her, ever. Donna has been the ground that I could stand on when growing. She, too, was married to a Principal, worked in a care giving position as a nurse and chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Donna is also a mom of three children. She makes the very best zucchini sticks, fresh from her garden. It never fails on my birthday that I will receive a birthday card from Donna. A handwritten card will often show up at other pertinent moments, like my first year of University and my first time living alone, I received a card in November. I will never forget sitting on my dorm room bed, reading the card and crying because someone remembered me and thought of me. Isn’t that a nourishing thought? Where would I be without this soil beneath my feet provided by Donna?
At our wedding in 1997
Who loves the sun? Jean R. was my “University mom” and she was my light and sun during my growth as a university student. She showed me how to live a life of freedom being exactly who you are. Jean gave me physical and spiritual food and she showed me how to tap into God’s love and grace. She had created beautiful rituals around the holidays and always had a handful of people home for the holidays, unrelated, but always at home at Jean and Joe’s. Jean was married to an Engineer and is also a mom of three. She, too, chose to be a stay-at-home mom and raise her three children while having a hairdressing studio in her basement. She was also the person that gave me light on my wedding day by doing my hair. Where would I be without this light-filled person in my world?
Doing my hair for my wedding.
Now enter into my life, water in the form of Hilde W. or Mrs. White in English. She came to me in a season of tremendous growth, early in my marriage. Hilde was my German mom and also a mother of three. She showed me how to soak up new ideas and how she literally turned a century old barn into a thriving hotel and restaurant in a village the population of an elementary school. Living in room 25 of her hotel, she also taught me how to cook pizza on a wood oven outside and load a mean dishwasher. She was open and accepting and poured great love into both us. She watered us on a daily basis with her kind words, big ideas and hard work. What would I be without watching this clear living water pour from Hilde?
Hilde and my German sister, Katrin, visiting Canada in 2006.
Lastly, I end with my mentor who has breathed life in me from the very beginning. She was my mom’s fellow ‘hockey wife’, one of her best friends and Wendy knew me when I was in my mother’s womb. Wendy is also one of the first people that all my boys met when they were born. She taught me how to show up in live, just be and breathe. Wendy also reminds me never to forget to laugh. She showed me how to live the gift of grief when she lost her husband in a car accident when I was in my teens. Wendy gives the very best gifts! Through her actions and her words she is like a breathe of fresh air and her hugs, ah her hugs, they literally give you life. Wendy helped in the family business, worked in schools, but mostly loved on her three children. Where would I be without seeing Wendy live with full life with full breathes and have so much fun? O’Wen!
Around 1982 at Shakee’s pizzeria.
All of us are flowers getting ready to bloom. We just need to remember or find those that are nourishing us as soil, sun, water and oxygen. I wonder who those people are for you. Conversely, I wonder who you could be those things for.
Soil.
Sun.
Water.
Oxygen.
Moms of three.
Filled with light.
Overcomers of loss.
Living life.
All very important elements and role models for me to have to truly bloom.
Note: For the article that inspired me to write this post, take a look at this article. Thanks Wendy W. for the inspiration, my fellow flower!
One March day, I asked my boys to give me an animal. An animal I could draw! I didn’t know what I was asking at the time but it ended up creating deep conversation and insight about animals between my boys and I.
Here is how it unfolded in pictures drawn by moi in my day planner and the subsequent research that I did on the spiritual and biblical significance of each animal. The most divine aha for me was that every animal the boys suggested on each day met me exactly where I was at on that day! I wonder which animal will land on you today? May we all continue to be open to God around and within us.
May these words and imagines encourage you to be open to the divinity of children, the soulfulness of drawing and the power of words that tumble in our heads and out of our mouths.
"Be" ENOUGH 