Tag Archives: life

Boys, God, Jesus Christ

Be Gobsmacked

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Gobsmacked.

Flat on my face in awe.

Humbled.

Grateful.

Watching God’s miracles (coincidences) on a daily basis.

Living the presence of God.

This week, a friend was healed from months of pain in her foot. God’s touch healed her.  In one moment her pain was gone.  I have never experienced anything like this before in my life!

On Thursday, I took out a jacket that I bought for my mom last autumn to bring her warmth and comfort as her body shrunk during chemotherapy. I placed this jacket over my shoulders and I was overwhelmed that this beautiful jacket fits me.

20140914-102410-37450382.jpg How is this possible?

Last night, Sexy Neck told me that he wanted to keep a few large blue Tupperware bins that I was going to give away. I unpacked each of these bins. One of them had 0 to 3 month old boys clothing and at the bottom of the bin, I found a ring Steve bought me for our fifth anniversary that I lost SEVEN YEARS AGO! I am grateful Steve asked me to keep the bins.

20140914-102704-37624893.jpgThis beautiful ring now sits back upon my finger. I am amazed at God’s goodness. I grieved losing this ring when my oldest was a newborn.

And now this morning…

Often I leave colouring or activity sheets or notes for my boys on the table when they wake up in the morning.

This is the sheet I picked out for OC.

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Notice the scripture on the bottom of his colouring sheet?

As OC was colouring his sheet, I opened my bible to look up some scripture on a 40 day challenge I am doing from Igniting Hope Ministries. If you are curious, here is the website.
Anyways, I open my bible to look up the scripture I was wondering about AND IT IS THE SAME SCRIPTURE THAT IS ON OC’S SHEET! I had to underline this word in my bible.

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Flat on my face.

Wondrous God.

Gobsmacked.

Can’t think of a better word.

cancer, Family, God, Grief

Be Midnight Me

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Last night I wrote the poem below at midnight, not because I wanted to but I am realizing that this is a good time for me to write.

Quiet.

Dark.

Completely present.

Being.

My mind zips along on its hamster wheel of thought.

Writing helps me grab words, themes, feeling and alas the wheel stops.

One year after my mom’s second session of crazy poison chemotherapy, my grief is deep. The benefit of living a year past this moment is that I know the waves won’t consume me, the grief won’t paralyze me and my sleepless nights will end.

Here are my midnight musings:

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Midnight Me

I am a northern girl.

A redneck to some.

I am six feet tall.

A woman.

Imperfectly perfect in His image.

Overflowing with God’s grace.

(Cause He knows I need it!)

I am a Jock.

And an artist.

A mover and shaker.

A beautiful outlaw.

A writer of words.

A bearer of my soul.

A sole bearer.

My heart hurts.

As I ponder.

Watching my best friend.

My mama.

Die.

She has gone ahead of me.

Leading the way to heaven.

My mom’s life and death has re-ignited the gift Jesus gave me at 19.

A reminder.

Freedom to the captives.

Hope.

Grace.

Love.

The rope is frayed.

Split.

Disintegrating.

Nothing holds me back.

Expectations.

Judgement.

To do lists.

I am free!

Glory to God alone who brings freedom to the captives and weaves EVERYTHING together for his goodness.

Boys, God, Grief

Be Holding Tightly to Little Things

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I sense a loosening of many expectations I used to have, a fraying rope.

My grip is also loosening on so many of the things in my own home as I watch my dad go ‘through’ mom’s things.

I am blessed as many of the fantastic clothes mom had fit me. A few of her shoes do too!

I must admit though, that I am holding very tightly to a few little ‘things’: 20140904-225644-82604106.jpgThis is the birthday announcement we put in the newspaper for mom’s 70th birthday on March 30th, 2013.

20140904-225743-82663234.jpgA grocery list from last November.

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The Christmas present tag my mom wrote for me last Christmas. She was very ill before Christmas but she always had her shopping done early!

As I look at the three little pieces of paper I wonder why they are important. I realized it is because they represent the little things.

My mom was excellent because EVERY DAY she did the little things well. She remembered my boys favourite foods and books. She celebrated every little thing – birthdays, first day of school, thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, plays, practices…. EVERYTHING! My mom always thought of us, how she could help or what she could pick up or when we could get together. Our lives were interwoven. She thought about holidays and how to include everyone. She planned and organized all the details. Mom would often surprise us with beautiful handmade placemats or table runners that she had been working on for months before they were meant to be used.

She was very present for all the little moments. Sometimes, I would walk in my laundry room and find our clean clothes folded. Often she would clean out our hand vac. She always took the dogs for a stroll, just because she liked to think of the little things.

Right now there are a lot of ‘big things’ going on around me that affect our family profoundly (teacher’s strike, mainly).

I am taking a page from my mom’s book of excellence and I am focusing on the little things.

cancer, Grief, writing

Be Going Under

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The waves pour over me.

The grief is profoundly painful.

Tears flows readily.

One year ago, my mom went into the hospital in excruciating pain.

Seventeen days she spent there.

The first time!

Our family was forever changed.

The knots that held my life together were unravelled, split apart and thrown into the fire.

Relationships changed forever.

Expectations shifted.

Pain.

Anguish.

Out of control.

Life. 20140803-220404-79444078.jpg

I will walk through my grief.

I will keep moving.

I know my strength, my weaknesses, my failings, my ways…

I will reach up towards the friends who love and accept me.

I will ride my bike.

I will give myself time and grace.

I will lie down when I need to.

I will not use food to soothe my soul.

I will not watch the news.

I will not put this on my boys.

I will not put my heart into a place where I could be wounded.

I will continue to deal with my stuff.

I will continue to loosen the rope, letting go of expectations.

I will cry.

I will seek God.

I will keep my eyes open for the light.

I will hold on as I go under.

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Book, Boys, painting, Parenting, Watercolour

Be Proud

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Today my heart swells with pride as I see how my community encourages children.

I am proud of my children’s efforts, genuine inspiration and creativity.

My heart overflows abundantly with gratitude.

For opportunity.

Effort.

Ability to read.

Having free libraries.

And really cool things for kids.

My boys, following my newly acquired love, have started watercolour painting. They have each entered a painting into an Exhibition. 20140801-225315-82395870.jpg

20140801-225333-82413052.jpgThey are very excited to take their grandparents.

On the same day, we walked across the street to our Public Library to hand in our finished reading logs. The boys got a medal and a free book. They were overjoyed.

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Day by day.

Painting.

Reading.

Together.

With a goal in mind.

Or just because.

Coming from within.

To share with the outside world.

Beautiful painting.

Wonderful words.

Treasured boys.

What a gift they are!

What a wonderful community we live in.

Boys, God, Grief, Parenting

Be Hearing Night Night from Nana

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I looked out the car window and saw the sun setting through the cloud. I exclaimed, “A slice of heaven!”

Almost three year old OC said, “Nana in heaven!”

Then we had a family discussion on what being dead means.

OC piped up, “Nana talk to me.”

Our seven year old added, “She talks to me too!”

I asked them what does she say.

OC said, “Night night. From her house in heaven.”

Enough said.

Night night everyone. 20140725-212805-77285465.jpg

cancer, Grief, Parenting

Be Eating Nana Jam

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Each day my boys talk about their beloved Nana and share their sadness deeply and quickly. They are wonderful teachers on how to sit in your grief.

We have many reminders about mom.

Yesterday, we saw a bike that looked just like Nana’s.

Tonight, Jackson read the label on his quilt my mom made when he was two.

Today, we rested on our Nana Cabana beside the pool.

At lunch, we ate Nana jam. 20140722-232208-84128304.jpgLovingly handmade last year in July, while mom was in pain but we still had no idea what was coming. Careful labelled and left for us to enjoy.

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Perfect with homemade spelt baking powder biscuits. OC was my helper.

Beautiful memories.

Delicious jam.

Great gifts.

Pure love.

Heartfelt joy.

Pure sadness.

Sweet strawberry jam.

Thanks mom!

I love you!

Boys, Family, health & fitness, Parenting, Uncategorized

Be Sharing Green Tea Hawaii Love

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My story with Green Tea Hawaii started even before I knew that Green Tea Hawaii existed. green tea logo In the summer of 2013, my mom was in profound pain. She had a distended stomach. We thought it was a bladder infection. It was cancer. She journeyed through six months with cancer, living in tremendous pain. We shared many moments shaving her head, watching the boys, cutting her toenails, living each moment. Very unexpectantly the cancer continued to multiply and mom became an angel in heaven on Boxing Day 2013.

Back in mid-October, Mom went to see a Physician at an Integrative Cancer Clinic that supports each patient’s emotional, physical and spiritual health. At this appointment, they doctor covered many topics from eating, exercise, supplements, meditation and encouraged mom on her overall cancer journey. One moment that made her laugh, was when he suggested that she drink ten cups of green tea per day. It has shown that drinking green tea slows down and even stops cancer cell’s from multiplying. My mom was barely eating nor drinking at this point, so the thought of drinking ten cups of green tea made us giggle. If I only knew…

Fast forward now to March, where our family had been given a great gift from a University friend and teammate, their house for ten days in Hawaii. We were also given free access to this amazing product that they own called Green Tea Hawaii. They had samples all over their kitchen counter and we helped ourselves.  Green Tea Hawaii changed our lives.

Everyone I know that has tried Green Tea Hawaii talks about the benefit of the extra energy. I now ride my bike at 6:00am, just because I want to and can. (And I ain’t no morning person!) I enjoy doing Jillian Michaels DVD’s in the afternoon and evenings because I have the energy to. Plus I still have lots left in me to be a present and loving mom to my three boys under seven. Before Green Tea Hawaii, I was struggling.

I love the L-theanine in the Green Tea Hawaii as it gives me a great sense of peace. The combination of the Noni and green tea is absolutely delicious. This is a sweet tea, but contains less than one gram of stevia and sugar. (One teaspoon of sugar is about four to five grams for those visual people.)

Hot or cold.

Shaken not stirred.

Mixed with about a cup of pure water

I have finally found my drink!

The health benefits of the Green Tea Hawaii take me back to the appointment with my mom. Each sleeve of the Green Tea Hawaii equal around 45 cups of Green Tea. Yup, you read that correctly. My mom could have drank just one sleeve and had more than the benefits of the 10 cups of tea that were recommended. satchet

 

The other benefit of Green Tea Hawaii is weight loss. This is an added bonus for me as I already love the health benefits of this product. If you take one sleeve fifteen minutes before breakfast and again before lunch, it revs up your metabolism. I am not entirely sure how this works, but as of today, I have lost fifteen pounds. But nothing compares to the taste, cancer fighting and energy that Green Tea Hawaii brings me.

My dad now uses Green Tea Hawaii to help with his arthritis from his hockey playing days. My husband doesn’t drink pop or energy drinks anymore and he has more energy than before. In one weekend, he planted twenty-two cedars and fifteen HUNDRED square feet of new grass. He had a Green Tea Hawaii in the afternoon and early evening which gave him what he needed to work hard. IMG_4165IMG_4172 Lastly, I have to tell you that after I discovered Green Tea Hawaii, I went to my Naturopathic Physician. Anything that I eat or drink on a daily basis, I like to check out with her. She looked at the ingredients and loved the product for me. She only cautioned the caffeine in Green Tea can disrupt your sleep cycle, so don’t have it after five o’clock in the evening. One sleeve of Green Tea Hawaii is the same amount of caffeine in one cup of Java. She loved the calming affect of the L-theanine as well as the health benefits of the high quality Green Tea from Japan and the Noni from the Polynesian Island. I am very excited and full of gratitude that I can share this product with anyone that would like to try it. Can you tell? IMG_4654IMG_4664
Off to ECity to learn more about Green Tea Hawaii.

Full of gratitude.

Full of energy.

Full of cancer fighting Green Tea.

Feeling the Hawaiian Noni love.

Sweet and cool on a hot day.

Warm and comforting on a cold day.

Healthy.

Green Tea Hawaii.

Love!

 

Sidenote: You can leave me a comment,  text or call me if you are interested in trying a sample.  I have had many people ask since this post.