Tag Archives: bctf

Be Holding Tightly to Little Things

I sense a loosening of many expectations I used to have, a fraying rope.

My grip is also loosening on so many of the things in my own home as I watch my dad go ‘through’ mom’s things.

I am blessed as many of the fantastic clothes mom had fit me. A few of her shoes do too!

I must admit though, that I am holding very tightly to a few little ‘things’: 20140904-225644-82604106.jpgThis is the birthday announcement we put in the newspaper for mom’s 70th birthday on March 30th, 2013.

20140904-225743-82663234.jpgA grocery list from last November.

20140904-225810-82690769.jpg
The Christmas present tag my mom wrote for me last Christmas. She was very ill before Christmas but she always had her shopping done early!

As I look at the three little pieces of paper I wonder why they are important. I realized it is because they represent the little things.

My mom was excellent because EVERY DAY she did the little things well. She remembered my boys favourite foods and books. She celebrated every little thing – birthdays, first day of school, thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, plays, practices…. EVERYTHING! My mom always thought of us, how she could help or what she could pick up or when we could get together. Our lives were interwoven. She thought about holidays and how to include everyone. She planned and organized all the details. Mom would often surprise us with beautiful handmade placemats or table runners that she had been working on for months before they were meant to be used.

She was very present for all the little moments. Sometimes, I would walk in my laundry room and find our clean clothes folded. Often she would clean out our hand vac. She always took the dogs for a stroll, just because she liked to think of the little things.

Right now there are a lot of ‘big things’ going on around me that affect our family profoundly (teacher’s strike, mainly).

I am taking a page from my mom’s book of excellence and I am focusing on the little things.

Be in the Perfect Storm

The storm has poured down on me this year, raining on my head, sleet whopping the sides of my face, frozen eyelashes, paralyzing snow. I am in the perfect storm of GRIEF!

Death is disaster.

Devastating.

Debilitating.

Brutal.

I told someone three times in one conversation that I am not going to allow anything bad come from my mom’s life or death. Guess what?

Death is just bad.

Very, very bad.

Sorry, I can’t wrap this one in a pretty pretend ‘good’ package.

Just bad!

Moving sucks.

Lonely.

Agonizing.

Painful.

Trying to find where to get decent produce, gluten free bread and friends that are honest and not too busy flying around like hummingbirds.

Now a teacher’s strike affecting friends, family and dear Sexy Neck.

School ended last Friday for the summer, two weeks early.

The teacher’s strike for class composition, size and wages.

They walk, they wear signs, they do not get paid.

Their journey is honourable.

The negotiations are a schoolyard fight between two people speaking different languages. The teacher’s union and the Government.

The pressure the strike has put on families scrambling for child care and the administration (including Sexy Neck) still left inside the schools is unfathomable.

Most days I don’t ask. Can’t ask.

As I sit deeply in this year of grief layered with mom’s death, moving, watching dad grieve, watching friendships die and now the strike.

20140618-225722.jpg“The Perfect Storm” painted over the last week.
Let a new season come upon our family…

Soon?