Be Living Quotes

April 13, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

I have always been drawn to quotes.

In high school, I started a black journal where I wrote down every interesting quote I read in a book or heard. This was the days before the Internet so finding quotes was not as easy as a click of a mouse.

This love of quotes has continued but often now these quotes come in the form of silly things my boys or I say or the inspiring quotes my friends put on Facebook.

These are a few quotes that I have saved on my phone in the last few days.

In my daily life, I don’t want to just read quotes. I want to live them. Breathe them. Soak them in and then pour them out.

A new physical and spiritual season is beginning for me with its new growth, beautiful flowers and grass beginning to grow. Rain showers will come, I know, but I will continue to read my quotes, take them in and pour them out.

Words without action are meaningless.
Words are cruel like a sword.
Words can soothe a baby’s cries. Words are power.
Words can create change.
Dishonest and action-less words are a mere cloud floating by on this beautiful spring day.
Do what you say. Say what you do!

Yup, keep the faith.

In God.

In the goodness of people.

In myself.

In words.

In being.

cancer, Family, Grief

Be Auntie Gail

April 8, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

My mom’s sister arrived yesterday to come stay with us. Every since our oldest was born, a sure sign of spring is Auntie Gail arriving at my parents for a visit. We always looking forward to seeing her.

I have especially been grateful for her immediate willingness to come jump in with our brood of boys, her contagious laughter and depth of stories. She reminds me of my mom in so many ways – her love of her children, her thought for my children, working side-by-side with Sexy Neck drying the dishes and really just being willing to come along on our wild ride.

Auntie Gail.

Deep strength.

Huge heart.

Beautiful children.

Contagious laughter.

Here is Auntie Gail enjoying her first ever Japanese food dinner.

Auntie Gail getting settled in her room. The boys ‘helped’!

Beautiful butterfly cups she passed on to me.

Auntie Gail had us all laughing our heads off as she attempted to use the walkie talkie.

Auntie Gail brought beautiful drawing pencils and paper for the boys. They all spent many hours drawing together.

Auntie Gail read Happy Pig Day to OC while we watched CC’s gymnastics.

Auntie Gail watching our youngest at gymnastics. OC loved having her to wave up to. She watched with a big smile on her face. What a gift!

She helped us have a painting play date with friends.

We enjoyed an after dinner walk to the duck pond.

Side note:
I haven’t been back to CC’s gymnastics centre since my mom died. Five days before my mom went into the hospital in December and just over two weeks before my mom died, mom insisted that dad drive her 60 kilometres down the road so that she could watch CC and OC do gymnastics.

I knew my mom was in pain. She still insisted on getting her own blue folding chair, placing it right beside the window so that she could watch her grandsons participate in class.

She was in pain. She smiled and clapped for her grandsons.

She was stooped over but she sat up straighter every time her grandsons looked over.

Resiliency.

Love beyond comprehension.

Support.

Thank you mom. Thank you for being the most selfless Nana.

Thank you dad for supporting mom’s ideas.

Thank you Gail for passing on this loving support to my boys these days.

Boys, Family

Be Seven

April 8, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

Celebrating our oldest lad.

Seven years since his first breath.

Seven years since I felt his skin and kissed his cheeks.

Seven years of holding, hugging and setting free.

Here are a few moments we shared celebrating seven:

cancer, Grief

Be a Butterfly

April 2, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

“How does one become a butterfly?

You must want to fly so much

that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

(Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers)

I am free.

Flying.

Nothing holds me back nor down.

My greatest fears are gone.

I am open.

Soaring.

Nothing can dissuade me nor discourage me.

My expectations have floated away.

I am a butterfly.

Gliding.

Nothing can change my beauty.

My imperfections are perfection.

No longer am I crawling along the ground as a caterpillar.

I am out of the mud.

I am not longer just observing.

I am free.

—————————————————————————————————–

I am not sure why butterflies have become the symbols of my mom’s journey into heaven. They were everywhere in Hospice and now on our trip to Hawaii they were hovering all around us. I have never felt closer to my mom since she has passed. I feel that in my new life here in a new town, these wings have now been fastened onto me. I float between people, having no one friend to anchor me nor move me in any one direction. I feel opportunities around every tree.

I feel inspired.

Creative.

Excited.

Anticipating.

I feel free.

Thank you mom for this great gift in your death. Thank you for taking my fears with me. Thank you for guiding us from this world into heaven. You are a true trailblazer. I love you mama.

Past blogs about butterflies: https://beenough.wordpress.com/2013/12/23/be-having-something-about-butterflies/

https://beenough.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/falling-snow-and-fluttering-butterflies/

https://beenough.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/be-surfing-under-rainbows-with-a-butterfly/

Family, Grief

Be Celebrating Nana’s birthday (with a birth!)

March 30, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Yesterday was my beautiful mom’s birthday. When we were away, we felt Nana’s presence and spoke about what we could do to celebrate her birthday.

As a family we decided we wanted to bake her a meringue cake. OC helped me.

Here is the recipe we used:

Our nana loved biking, so we thought a bike ride would be fun.

We ate breakfast for dinner. Breakfast was mom’s favourite meal.

We sent balloons to the heavens.

Lastly, we sang happy birthday and enjoyed Nana’s wonderful cake.

Happy birthday mom! I love you so very much. Your presence is felt more and more each day. You continue to be such a gift and a caring mom.

Heavenward.

Flying.

Sweetness.

Life.

Love.

Peace.

And glory, a new baby girl was born on my mom’s birthday. My cousin’s J and M gave birth on March 30th.

New life.

Gratitude.

Joy.

Anticipation.

Peace.

God, painting, writing

Be Going to a Retreat by a Lake

March 28, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Today, I left my brood of boys after our life shifting trip to Hawaii and spent eight hours at a healing prayer retreat for women.

Each woman had a beautiful opportunity to enjoy time with God while taking care of their soul through painting, massage, prayer or counselling.

I chose prayer counselling and watercolour painting as my soul care times as well I enjoyed time on my own walking and writing in my journal.

As I walk through my life, I continue to be amazed that when I stop or pause to notice God, He is ever-present in my life. I don’t think I shall ever cease to be amazed at the wondrous coincidences of God!

This morning, I started off with a cup of tea in this mug from Hawaii:

(That’s my new journal in the background from Sexy Neck, isn’t it cute?)

Next, a woman lead us in song with a UKELELE! How often do you see that here? But in Hawaii, I saw them in every store and heard one being played almost every day.

Lastly, during my watercolour painting soul care session, I learned how to paint for the first time. I was playing with paint and created this:

Which reminded me of my very favourite bridge in Haliewa on the North Shore. I paddle boarded under this bridge, saw turtles here, ate shaved iced beside it, walked over it multiple times and just stared at it. Is it possible to have a crush on a bridge?