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blogger, Flexibility, Wordsmith, writing

Be Wondering about the “To Me”

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I have always loved the perspective of things happening “for us” rather than “to us”.  Lately, I have been wondering about the mental benefit of making this division in my mind between the words “for me” and “to me”. (You know how much I love words and my mind often does play mental gymnastics with words.)

In the last four months, I have had three things happen in my professional and personal life that I feel were definitely done “to me”.  Things that affected my life, without any type of discussion or collaboration beforehand. In one single moment, my life shifted. 

Fundamental.

Unprovoked.

Future shifting.

Life altering changes.

They have all ended up progressing me towards a positive, as I know when unforeseen things happen we can either become wounded or wise. I always choose wise.  But it still feels like these three things were foisted on me.

The latest example was my childhood kitchen table. The wooden, handcrafted fifty year old table that we ate every dinner at together as a family, celebrated birthdays and Christmases at, where my mom did her marking and my dad did his bookkeeping for his business. The hub of my family home growing up in Northern British Columbia where many memories were made. One night, a few weeks ago, I received a text from my dad with a picture of a new dining room set. Where had the kitchen table gone you ask? My father had suddenly decided to gift it to his girlfriend’s son. This one moment with the loss of my childhood table, which symbolized so many things about my sweet mom, brought me to my knees and made me reflect on all these moments in the last four months where things were simply done.

Gone.

Without thought of me.

Without any conversation beforehand.

Nothing I can say to change things “back”.

Done.

Unrecoverable.

Unchangeable.

Simply done and done.

As I sit in the sun today, I am not reframing these three events so that they sit better in my soul, I am simply sitting with this feeling and becoming wiser in who I allow into my life, what I hold tightly to and how I am spending my time.  Time is our greatest commodity friends.

Who? 

What? 

When? 

These are all up to me and allow me to live with JOY even when things happen “for” and “to” me.  

I am enough. 

You are enough. 

Keep being conscious of your who, what and when. 

Happy wonderful Wednesday folks and love what you do.

Xoxo Joanna 

author, blogger, encouragement, psychology, writing

Be Wondering Why I Wrote My May 28th, 2023 Blog Post?

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In the wake of what I wrote on May 28th, 2023, I have had many, many people reach out via phone call, messenger and text to express their shock at what I shared about my mental and physical journey the last few years.

Yes, I am strong, but I am also a sponge. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am a good listener, but I am also not great at sharing what I am experiencing. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am realizing that I need to create a circle of support where I can be seen and heard. I feel things deeply.

Yes, I am one thousand million percent grateful that I wrote what I did and shared what I went through. I know that I truly shocked some of you, but I think it really reminds us that these last few years haven’t been easy for many people, whichever side of the “fence” you chose to be on. I wrote this post and had it sitting in my “drafts” for a few weeks, but I decided to publish it for three groups of people.

First, this last autumn season we had two very remarkable young woman living in K-City, one was my niece and the other was Bubba’s daughter, my oldest friend in the world’s daughter. It was such a special time to have them here. When I wrote this post, I thought of them and our three boys. Perhaps one of them will stumble on to this when they need it the most. I hope my sharing will help them is some small way.

I never wrote this post because I needed help right now or I wanted something from someone or I wanted to bring shame or guilt onto anyone else. My message was simply to help one other person, either now or in the future when someone stumbles upon that blog. One beloved friend wrote to me a few days after my blog: “I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for sharing your last post on Be Enough about re-claiming your health (mental and physical)…. Basically all you have been through and how you’ve described it is EXACTLY how I’ve felt the past 3 years.”. The second reason was simply to help one person feel less alone!

Lastly, I was also thinking of all the young people who have committed suicide these last three years. (And no, suicide was never an option or thought for me personally, but my darkest moments made me think about the hopelessness people must feel when they attempt or commit suicide.) Every day in Canada 11 people commit suicide and 200 people attempt it. Did you know that 75% of the people who commit suicide are male? The saddest part for me as I learned about suicide rates in our beautiful and “in need of healing” country was this rate is rising, not going down, with everything we know about mental health.

I wonder what would happen is more of us shared our stories, without worrying about judgement of being labelled or worrying about being put into a box or then having people try to “fix” us. I wonder if people were exactly where they are, when they are, how they are what our communities would look like?

And that’s all for this Thursday folks. Love what you do!

xoxo Joanna