Category Archives: psychology

Family, psychology

Be a Neighbour

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I am in shock that someone could make a homemade bomb to hurt citizens, athletes, and spectators at the Boston Marathon.  I doesn’t make sense.  It is cruel, hurtful and evil.  I am in despair and I feel very sad.

What can I do? How can I help?

I feel hopeless, but then I realize that there are people all around me.  People hurting, people needing support and I know that I can do only one thing in this moment of sadness:

I can be a neighbour.

I believe in my heart that if we really knew our neighbours, our world would be a better place.  If we took the time to really LOVE and understand our neighbours.  If we took the time to listen and care, we would not have so many human beings that feel so disconnected from each other.  Many people willing to kill each other.

In my despair, I stand on my soapbox and ask, could be a neighbour?

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Our neighbour pumpkin carving night! 

Here is what being a neighbour means to our family, on our street, in our small town:

  • Give your neighbours your phone number. (Once you get to know them.)
  • Lend them things – we tend to lend out a ton of baby/kids stuff.  Imagine that!
  • Borrow things from them – ask for some milk or a couple of eggs
  • Get to know your neighbours.  We know everyone on our block as well as their parents, grandchildren and a few aunts and uncles.
  • Ask the neighbourhood kids to walk your dog or take care of the lawn.  It gives them purpose and value.  (If they don’t accept, don’t worry.  Keep asking!)
  • Drop off some cookies or a candy bar or a pizza if you know someone in the neighbourhood is sick.  Nothing fancy, just something from your family.
  • Celebrate special events: I know people do block parties (we aren’t that fancy), but we do have card nights, BBQ’s and I have even hosted a yoga class in my living room.
  • And our personal favourite for our street: If someone walks down the road, say hello and smile.  Simple and sweet!

I think being a neighbour also involves someone being in the home during the day.  I think if more families had a parent at home (at least part time), many of our North American problems would disappear.  Perhaps even huge bombing (and future bombings and shootings ) like the Boston Marathon Tragedy could have been prevented.

Flexibility, Parenting, psychology

Be Taking The Cake

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Four years ago, I searched all over our small town for a sun hat. I was pumped when I found this hat until I brought it home.

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Sexy Neck refused to allow CC to wear this hat. I won’t share all the words expressed about this awesome hat, but ugly was one of them. Our son never wore the hat.

Three years ago, a very good friend Double D, had a baby girl. She was looking for a summer hat so I decided to pass on CC’s never worn hat. (Yes, I had kept it!)

Double D graciously took my generous gift, but again this hat never touched her beautiful little girl’s head. Instead it has become a three year joke where we pass it back and forth in hilarious ways.

Two days ago, Double D took the cake in returning the hat to me. (I had put it in her daughter’s third birthday gift a few weeks ago.)

Can you believe this?

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SHE HID THE HAT IN A CAKE! I had tears in my eyes when she handed me the cake she baked. I felt so grateful. I had tears in my eyes as I cut the cake. Our family was laughing and shaking our head at our brilliant friend.

I guess the hat will be hitting the dress-up box. How can I possibly top this cake?

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My boys modelling the hat for me.

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Why doesn’t anyone like my hat? I just think it is darling!

Family, Goals, Parenting, psychology

Be Aware

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As a strong, determined woman in the 21st Century, I used to “think” that I should be able to have it all!

The feminist movement in the sixties was incredible for women’s ability to vote,  having choice about birth control and other incredible liberating things.  It has taken us to a place where we can be:

  • the sexiest wife
  • Mary Poppinish mother
  • Martha Stewart in the Kitchen
  • CEO of a Fortune 500 company
  • PLUS have a house that looks like tags on Pinterest

Whew, I feel my anxiety rising, how about you? 

My dear sister (and men who know women!) we CANNOT have it all.  If you choose to work, go for it.  If you choose to stay at home, just do it!  If you choose to do both, make it work for YOU!  But something has to give.  We cannot be the BEST at everything.

The Dalai Lama visited Vancouver, BC, Canada in 2010.  He was of the opinion that Western women will save the world.  If you are reading this blog, I bet you are a Western woman or know one!

Let’s stop trying to be the best at everything.  Could we agree to be the best at one thing? RELATIONSHIPS – PARTNERS – ELDERLY – CHILDREN – TEENAGERS – WIDOWS

Here is the epiphany that I had today, whether we stay at home or work, let’s be aware of those around us.  Let’s stop making lunch when one of our children wants to show us a drawing.  Let’s look up from our computer when someone at the office needs a five minute pep talk.  Let’s really see the people around us, that God has placed in our lives.  What a gift they are – even the annoying ones!   It’s all about the relationship friends!

In this age of our time on earth, where we can have it all.  Let’s not try to have it ALL, but let’s try to be enough to those around us!

Boys, Jesus Christ, Parenting, psychology

Be Sad

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I am “hollow in the pit of my stomach” sad.

I had a picture of how my life would unfold, where I would live and specifically in which town. My husband, Sexy Neck, has been working 60 kilometres down the lake since July.

We are moving so that we can have more time playing/eating/wrestling together as a family, instead of Sexy Neck spending two hours per day in his “steel box on wheels” with just the ability to talk with us on the phone.

BUT I AM SAD!  Right now my “work”, with the help of a very wise, God-loving woman, is learning to acknowledge what I am feeling and what my children are feeling.  I didn’t realize that my body lets me know how I am feeling even before my mind tells me.  This is a profound thought for me, as I am very in tune to my body due to many years of competitive sport.

My sadness comes in the form of a hollow stomach, my anger comes in sweaty hands/ battering heart and my fear come in tension in my shoulders and down my arms.   What does your body do/tell you?

My children love this new habit of me acknowledging their feelings, getting down to their physical level, naming their feeling (anger, frustration, happy, sad, excited) and giving them a hug/kiss.  This simple acknowledgement seems to diffuse almost every situation that occurs in our home.

So here is the house with the for sale sign:

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Not many people knew that we were going to sell our house.  We had an offer even before we put it on the market. Glory to God alone! The realtor had told us that it would take between six and twelve months.  God is helping us move forward, but I am not quite ready.

I am still sad.  I wish that as people found out about us selling that they could acknowledge my sadness.  The normal response is pointing out all the great things, activities, schools, people, areas about the new city that we are going to.

What is wrong with being a little sad?  Please let me grieve so that I don’t have to see a counsellor about this issue in ten years.

Today I will be with my feelings… tomorrow I will probably be jumping off the walls with excited.  I will keep you posted!

Book, Boys, Family, psychology

Be Conscious of Your Children’s Brain

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Whew, I got hit over the head this morning. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

We are pretty conscious of what we allow our children to see and read. We got rid of the television when our oldest son was six months old mostly due to advertising and my addiction to reality tv. We also limit our boys computer time and tend to stick to shows in the two to four year old category on Netflix. We also stopped watching Treehouse because of the advertisements that portrayed beautifully perfect unrealistic women.

Here is the story my oldest, JC “wrote” this morning:Image

Here is a book that we got from the library last week:

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We cannot underestimate a child’s brain, the things they take in, the things they remember and what they will do with it.

From a library book, to remembering it one week later and now a story today, my son is a perfect exam.

Now how about those computer games, constant television watching or this book my boys were reading with daddy this morning:

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Book, Christianity, Jesus Christ, psychology, Self-help

Be Into James

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I had to share with you a new DVD bible study that I am doing on Jesus’ half brother, James. WOWEEE…

A few thoughts from my two week study so far:

Quote from Martin Luther that he wanted to throw “Jimmy” in the stove.

“There are no easy answers to difficult things. It’s not neat and tidy. We cannot simplify the infinite. We can’t catch the Holy Spirit with a potato sack.”

James may have been the first book of the New Testament.

Chairein, Beth Moore. (Which is the Greek work for James’ salutation in James 1:1. Chairein means “JOY to YOU!”.

Chairein Everyone.

P.S. If you have never heard Beth Moore speak before, strap yourself in!

Book, Boys, psychology

Be A Recovering Food Addict

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Most days, I don’t know what to call myself, today it is clear. I am a food addict.

I drink a glass of wine or two a week. Beer and hard liquor isn’t my thing.

I don’t do drugs, nor enjoy seeing or smelling people on drugs.

I could become a gambler if I wasn’t so cheap… but I am cheap!

I don’t like taking pills nor going to the doctor so prescription drugs would be hard to get addicted to.

My drug of choice is food! I am a food addict.

I think about food constantly, what we are going to eat, when are we going to eat, who is hungry (my boys are always hungry). I am starting to enjoy cooking more, enjoying the process more and allowing myself the ability to throw a bad recipe into the garbage. (Note, do not ever make peanut butter cookies with sunbutter – yuck!)

I often cruise through the kitchen grabbing something to graze on. Come take a look at my grazing cupboard in the picture below. It is packed full of treats: nuts, dark chocolate chips, crackers, dried fruit. Oh ya, I have to include cookie dough in my food addiction too! I love that stuff. YUM!

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Yes, that is our dog’s nose checking out the cupboard too! Everyone loves it!

I am not sure why I am constantly cruising through the kitchen: habit, boredom or trying to fill some deep-seeded need inside of me. The verdict is still out. I will let you know.

BUT alas, there is hope! I did have a very interesting book jump off the shelf at the library the other day. I am going to hop off this computer right now and start reading it. Here is the book inside my other favourite place to graze:

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