Tag Archives: life

Be Five

July 17, 2014 Be Enough 3 Comments

The days are sometimes long but the years are very short.

Five years ago, CC was born. This athletic, witty, smart, wondrous boy came into our family in the water on a Thursday just before lunch.

Today, full of gratitude for life, we celebrate five years with CC. He gets to choose what we eat: waffles, then Japanese food for lunch and frittata for dinner. Plus a birthday cake with vanilla icing. Decorated with a few surprises on top!

The planning started many weeks before. Here is our oldest and Sexy Neck creating a bed for CC’s teddy bear from scrap wood:

Sexy Neck created another masterpiece:

It was a water-filled birthday!

Boys, Family, painting, Watercolour

Be Living Beyond Expectations (Painting)

July 14, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Who knew what these last twelve months would bring?

Surprise after surprise, both wonderful and heartbreaking.

My self-assessment twelve months ago would have used the descriptors: mom, wife, daughter, previous jock, teacher-on-leave, Vtown girl…

I no longer live in Vtown, nor think of myself as a teacher, neither do I have a living mother anymore… The fact that I am painting makes me lie of the floor.

I was introduced to watercolour painting by Herta at this retreat. Sexy Neck bought me a set of paints for my birthday in a month later.

My heart is full of gratitude for having the luxury to play with colour on beautiful watercolour paper. My boys love it and always join me. We paint quietly together often talking about cool new colour creation or telling each other what we can see.

Creative.

Peace.

Soul care.

Colourful.

Uplifting.

Unexplainable.

A pure gift from God.

Beyond anything I ‘thought’ I could do.

Have you lived beyond your expectations today?
Two year old OC:

Almost Five year old CC

Seven year old JC’s paintings including a hairless one of me.

My paintings from my soul, feelings and things I see in God’s creation.

Expectations.

Chains or freedom.

Choosing freedom.

Living in the beyond.

Painting.

Playing.

Expressing.

Me!

Boys, Family, Parenting

Be Having a Week of Cousins

July 12, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

We have had lots of love pop into our hood this week! Thanks family for reaching into our world. Two sets of cousins I haven’t met their children before and another family we haven’t seen together in about a year.

I love it when everything comes together.

Full of gratitude for the Cousin love this week:

Sam, Terry & Dani (almost 3) from outside Cowtown

Uncle R, Auntie R, M and L from VCity

Uncle D and Auntie J with Emi (3 1/2) and Nic (18 mos.) also from VCity

cancer, Family, writing

Be Saying ‘Thank You’ to my Mom’s CFUW friends

July 10, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

I have talked before about my salty people. As my mom and dad journeyed through cancer, I got to see first hand the saltiness of their friends.

Yesterday, I was fortunate to help my dad host a group of my mom’s favourite people at their house overlooking the lake.

All of these women belong to the CFUW. (Canadian Federation of University Women)

Mom moved full time to Vtown when JC, our oldest, was three months old in July of 2007. Over the years as mom and I talked about all the amazing people she was meeting hiking, biking, quilting, volunteering or even her next door neighbour, mom always expressed “oh she’s in CFUW too!” They are everywhere.

“Where are Nana’s friends?”

I have taken up riding my bike very early in the morning. For those who know me well, you are probably lying on the floor laughing or passed out, as you know I not a morning person nor much of a long distance bike rider. I feel close to my mom in the quiet mornings as the pedals crank and hear the birds. I also love seeing who is out and about as well as exploring this new city. Earlier this week, I chose a random street along the lake and you will never guess what I saw. A sign stating:

The CFUW are everywhere, even taking care of a street along the lake.

During my mom’s cancer journey, her CFUW friends were everywhere. They provided food delivered to hospice for our family, picked up boxes of books to be donated, just because I asked. They provided close conversation and space for mom to be herself. They brought pictures to uplift and stories to comfort. This group of women did everything they could for my family and especially my dear mom.

At the Vancouver Peace Summit in 2009, the Dalai Lama foretold that Western women will save the world. After watching my mom’s CFUW friends, I believe him.

With gratitude,

For all the gifts,

Giving freely and lovingly,

Over the course of this last year!

To a group of women,

Who gave these gifts,

Of themselves, through themselves,

Independently and collectively,

Thank you from the bottom of my family’s hearts and stomachs!

Goals, Parenting, writing

Be at the Beginning (my 501st post!)

July 10, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Folks… How did I write 500 posts? Here is my 150th post! I wrote it almost a year ago. So, if I do the math correctly, in the last 365 days (which equals one year), I have written just shy of one post per day. Sexy Neck, am I right? Is this possible?

As I sit and write this five hundred and first post, where am I?

I am at the beginning.

The start.

Fresh.

New.

Beginning.

Each day I fully embrace. I feel more alive with deep emotion than I have ever felt.

Life is not about living in Disneyland, but enjoying those Disneyland moment. The exciting rides, the yummy sweet food, the cleanliness and friendly people.

Life is not about running from sadness, grief and hard times, but sitting in it. Living through it. Feeling deeply. The tears, the anguish, the copious amounts of laundry and people who will never make sense.

Life is about a beautiful woven quilt like my mom used to make. The light and dark fabrics making a beautiful pattern.

Life is about forgiving and starting fresh each day. The sun and the moon providing guideposts to help us do this.

Life is about surrounding myself with healthy people who may not understand me but honour me for who I am. People make a difference in my life, both positively and detrimentally. I am a relationship person. They are important to me.

Life is about being positive and focusing on my strengths. I could ‘work on’ all my negative attributes for the rest of my life and not move one mile, but I can continue to concentrate on my gifts and talents and hit the stars. Don’t we all find it easy to do what we love? Imagine if we chose to live this way each day?

Life is about beginnings. Learning to paddle board at sixty-seven years old. Going on a Tour de France Training Camp in Mallorca at age seventy. Being the very best Nana, mom, wife, aunt, sister and friend each day.

Thank you mom for teaching me about beginnings… And for being my guide through the ultimate of beginnings here on earth as a human being, death.

And now I ponder my own beginnings: starting a business, going back to school, new stages with my boys, fitness, health, volunteering, new activities, new friends and new starts with old ones.

Anticipation.

Excitement.

Pondering.

New.

Beginnings.

Grief, writing

Be Reading Beth Moore ‘Breaking Free’

June 27, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

I took this book off the shelf this week.

I put it on the back of the toilet seat to open when I had a quiet moment while I lock myself in the bathroom.

Then I opened the book to this page:

These last few weeks I have been in a dark tomb of anger, fatigue, sadness and again wondering how to live this new life in the light without my mom. I have many words tumbling in my head, most not rated G. I am thinking thoughts I have never thought and experiencing deep emotions on both ends of the spectrum.

I feel sadness that knocks me over as I watch mothers with their mothers. I cannot move but just stare when I see the grandmas picking up their grandchildren, filled with joy, from preschool. I want my mom by my side on my bike. I desire her steady presence and insight into my life.

I weep.

I don’t know what the next moment will bring, but my heart is full of gratitude for the gift of Beth Moore, books, my ability to read and God weaving everything together.

Holding on.

Tight.

Sitting in my grief.

Damn, it’s hard.

Knowing this will not overcome me.

Trusting.

Being grateful for the life I have.

In Christ alone.

Boys, painting

Be Saying Adiós to Diapers

June 9, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

Have you ever made a commitment to do something every day, many times per day for SEVEN years?

I didn’t, but it happened. How, I don’t really know.

I have changed diapers for exactly 7 years, 2 months, and 3 days starting on Friday, April 6th, 2007 and finishing up my diaper changing career yesterday, on Monday, June 9th, 2014.

I have had my fair share of help, Sexy Neck, my mom, random visitors and even my dad have lent a hand.

I think I need a certificate on my wall to mark this day, that’s a lot of bum and crevice wiping as well as money. We probably spent around sixty bucks per month on diapers. Math is not my strong suit, but we spent over NINE THOUSAND dollars on diapers. Woah! (Side note: Sexy Neck, the Math teacher, has informed me that it is more like $5,200, but still a lot of money. Thanks for reading the blog honey and for correcting my Math. We can thank Mr. Crampton for my confused Math skills.)

We are very excited to be starting our diaper-free life.

OC has been ready for many months but after our trip up north and seeing baby G in diapers, the deal was sealed. The diapers disappeared all together. Bye bye diapers. Now the trip training, high fives, floor cleaning, extra laundry and loud cheers ensues for the next few weeks while OC masters the skill of going in the toilet or on the pee tree.

* Just a note about what is ‘trip training’ for all my new mommy friends. The best thing is that you don’t have lengthy discussions or ask multiple times per day, “Do you have to go potty?”. I take OC to the potty at regular times, when I go or the brothers go or before we leave the house. We take a trip to the potty, no questions asked. No screaming or crying for anyone and no special rewards. Just us and our books relaxing on the toilet.

Here are our favourite potty books and OC in ‘action’! We laugh and laugh and laugh about Liam’s poo in the toilet. We relax and read and take deep breathes et viola. Poop in the potty.

What a cute little tush!