Tag Archives: children

cancer, Grief

Be Saving a Seat for Nana

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I am continually amazed by my children’s insight and childlike faith. I have discovered a deep understanding of the meaning when God asks us to have ‘faith like a child’.

Last night, I shared about the storm that exists for me in my rowboat of grief. I choose to show my grief to Sexy Neck, a few close friends and privately in my laundry room. I don’t expect my children to heal me, distract me or provide for my emotional well being. I sit with them in their grief but don’t expect them to sit with me in mine. But I am always surprised at how God uses them to teach me.

After I wrote yesterday’s blog post, the boys came to get Sexy Neck and I to watch a show. Wasn’t I surprised when I saw three chairs waiting for the ‘Up and Down’ show. The boys seated us and exclaimed as they pointed to the middle chair, “This one is for Nana!”
20140829-120047-43247275.jpg Nana always loved watching the boys shows, school performances and activities.

Childlike faith.

Ever present Nana.

God’s blessing.

Peace.

Love.

Boys, God, Grief, Parenting

Be Hearing Night Night from Nana

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I looked out the car window and saw the sun setting through the cloud. I exclaimed, “A slice of heaven!”

Almost three year old OC said, “Nana in heaven!”

Then we had a family discussion on what being dead means.

OC piped up, “Nana talk to me.”

Our seven year old added, “She talks to me too!”

I asked them what does she say.

OC said, “Night night. From her house in heaven.”

Enough said.

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cancer, Grief

Be Telling Nana Stories

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I can’t wrap my head around that my mom is dead.

What happened?

I never really understood cancer, how it morphs and changes, how it can consume.

I feel sharp edges of grief.
Rough, hurtful, prickly especially when I think about my mom’s unnecessary pain and hospital stay.

These sharp edges are immediately smoothed over when I hear stories of my mom, our Nana.

Like a soothing balm, these stories cover the edges and ease the pain… until the next wave comes on this ocean of grief.

Last night, we went for a walk to the field at the end of my parents’ street. As we walked, I was remembering walking their with mom, tobogganing, having the dogs out there.

Suddenly JC and CC ran ahead of us, across the field. They sat on two pieces of wood standing up. They sat there for a long time. Then JC called us over. I don’t know what the boys said while they were sitting on those logs, but JC was very clear in what he told me.

“Mom, I sat on those logs with Nana. The last time I had a sleepover by myself. ”

JC was lit up with joy by this simple memory my mom created with him.

Beautiful memory.

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Breathtaking sunset.

Thanks mom!

Boys, Family, Grief

Be Playing in Puddles

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We had a novel January experience this afternoon – playing in puddles. Where is all the snow?

Auntie H (Sexy Neck’s cousin) offered to help out and she did.

Talk and tea with me.

Play and puddles with the boys.

She shed some tears with me and strapped on the gumboots!

Who can ask for anything more?

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We got wet! And cold…

Auntie H had to ride CC’s scooter home.

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We even met some ducks.

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Quack quack!

Squish squish!

Brrrrr….

cancer, Family, Grief

Be Beauty

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I have been overwhelmed with coincidences – butterflies and snow anyone?

I have been blessed with prophetic women.

Now I am blessed with both – prophesy and coincidence. I don’t think I am getting up off the floor anytime soon. Sorry if I don’t respond to emails!

A week ago I asked my A friend from Atown if her daughter would draw a picture for our family. I had heard that this wonderful child has gifts that go beyond understanding. I don’t exactly know what my friend said to her daughter, but this is what she drew:

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A told me about the significance of the colours from a prophetic art book. I told her that mom was talking about water when she was in hospice and the fact that a few days ago Sexy Neck had picked up mom’s ashes that were in a box.

Scroll back to the girl’s picture and sit with what I just told you. Woah!

But, of course, that is not the end of the story.

Sexy Neck and I were sitting on the couch talking about mom and life when I received the text with the picture from A. She had read my post about grief being like waves and decided to send it immediately.

After I showed Sexy Neck the text, and responded to A, I looked over at the memory tree from mom’s celebration of life. This Douglas fir had cards where people wrote down memories of mom.

I am not sure who drew this, but take a look:

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Woah! Dude!

I want to share some brilliant and inspiring words at this connection between the word beauty and the parallel pictures, but really I am just gobsmacked!

God is connecting the dots for me when I can’t even put one foot in front of the other without help.

Glory to Him.

Boys, Parenting

Be Mexican and Mediterranean

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I am unsure of which continent my childrens’ palates come from.

Isn’t cooking for and eating with children tricky?

They love their Mexican food so perhaps they are North American after all.  But meat and potatoes they won’t eat.  Turkey dinner with all the trimmings (turkey, potatoes, salad, cranberry sauce, stuffing…) is YUCKY for my boys.

Throw a plate of cheese, meat and olives in front of them, with some raw vegetables and fruit, the plate will be bare before we can give thanks.

Here was our lunch today:

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I combined the best of both Mexican and Mediterranean worlds by adding a few corn chips to the plate!

Next stop: Indian, for dinner!