Tag Archives: boys

Be the Best Dad/Parent You Can Be

I am the ‘baby’ of the family. Three years younger than my older sister and three and four years younger than my close cousins.

My perspective on my parents changed dramatically after I left home and had to ‘fend’ for myself. I also felt like I had to make up for those teenage years where I was particularly rotten or at least that’s how the joke goes.

In my twenties, with a bit of distance from my life in the comfortable family home, I realized how much my parents had supported me, loved me, provided for me and let me be who I was.

My parents I would never describe as perfect but I think perfection in parenting is an illusion anyways. I would describe my parents as:

incredibly thoughtful,
loving,
heartfelt and
very present.

I chose these four adjectives because these are the qualities I hope to possess as a parent.

I want to introduce you to my dad:

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Look at my happy OC with his favourite guy, Papa (aka, my dad)! OC only wanted Papa to push him around the pond.

My dad has had his own business, worked for others, but always put his customer’s first. We often laugh because he always did everything in person while working, never via phone or email. If you had an insurance policy to be signed, he would have said policy in front of you to sign. He still refuses to do any on-line banking, in person it is for him.

Dad was also my coach. He coached me with his other brother Darryl in ringette for eight years. My other passion before volleyball came into my life.

In his grief, my dad still takes the time to go skiing and skating with our family. He reads to the boys, sits with them and asks them questions. Often he cries and expresses his distress with “Oh Gwen!” or another word like “darn”! He is present in his grieving, conscious and kind.

Each morning, he welcomes the boys into their bed to cuddle and watch TV, just like mom did. Here are the boys this morning:

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Pure Happiness!

What a man! What a dad! Imperfectly perfect, trying to do the right thing and conscious of all of us around him.

Thanks dad! Love ya!

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Be Talking About Death

To go along with my post yesterday about no bad questions, the boys have started to concentrate their discussions about Nana on death.

The day before Nana died they boys wrote these wonderful letters to Nana, said goodbye and I love you through the window and gave kisses and hugs.

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Note: KT was our dog that died in June 2012.

Today, I was singing in the car, “The name of The Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and they are safe…”
JC stops me and says, “That’s the song you were singing when we went to Vancouver and that woman died. Audrey, I think!”

Whew, a song reminding him of two Christmases ago when we went to say goodbye to Sexy Neck’s aunt Audrey. She died a couple of hours after we said goodbye.

I hope that the boys will only feel the richness of this time before and after Nana’s death. It has brought us down to ground zero in terms of what is important.

Our grief is raw but our relationships richer and our love stronger!

Be Asking Questions

There is never a bad question.

We have instilled this concept in our boys. I am not sure how this would work if you have a wee one with the gift of the gab, but for us it has worked. Almost 100% of the time we take time to answer their questions. We try to answer as honestly as we can. Sometimes we simply answer, “I don’t know!”

Friday, December 20th, sitting on Nana and Papa’s couch, we sat as a group. I shared that Nana is going to die. We said we didn’t know when, but that Hospice House is a place where people go to die peacefully.

JC (6 yrs old) wept and curled in our arms. CC (4 yrs old)started asking questions. OC (2 yrs old) stared at us with his wondrous eyes.

Daddy will Nana die?
Does she know if she’s going to die?
Will she get better?
What is cancer anyways?
Why didn’t the 4th chemotherapy work?
How do the little cells do that?
Why can’t the doctors find a cure?
Do they need more money?
Why did they cut off Terry Fox’s leg?
How do you get cancer?
What will happen to Nana’s shoes?
How will we say I love you to Nana when she dies?
Where is heaven?
What is going to happen to Nana’s shoes?

No bad questions.

No good answers.

Sitting in sadness.

Be Having Some Sick Days

Happy fourteenth day of advent. Have you found time to breathe, rest and enjoy the waiting?

We have had an ‘enforced’ rest time.

The stomach flu has ravaged our house likes a forest fire. The only tree standing is Sexy Neck. The rest of us have been flattened.

All I can muster, in this moment, is to share a few photos of life hanging around the house the last two days. (We can’t see mom and dad until we are not contagious.)

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20131213-090641.jpgJC took a picture of his fort.

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OC wanted a picture of his Lego creation.

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My couch buddy! Poor CC!

20131213-092759.jpgI broke into the Christmas stash to have the boys work on this Lego creation.

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Airing out the bedding.
Bye bye sickness.
Thanks for visiting!

Be Making Gingerbread Playdough

A few years ago a friend gave us gingerbread playdough for Christmas. I must admit that we still have this playdough in our stash. It was a great gift. I absolutely love the smell of gingerbread and playing with the playdough makes the aroma spread around the room.

This year JC and I decided that we were going to make gingerbread playdough. I must admit, as an imperfect teacher and a mother, I have never made playdough. Shocking, I know.

I put all the dry ingredients into the pot. I was shocked again as I didn’t know you cooked playdough. We added in the water and the oil and began to stir. Playdough goes from this liquidy sticky dough into this chunky messy mixture and ends up being this beautiful smooth playdough. Who knew!

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Enjoy! Here is the recipe we used:

Ingredients

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup salt
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tbsp. ground cinnamon
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 tsp. ground cloves
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 cup water
1 tsp orange extract {optional}
Instructions

In a medium saucepan whisk together dry ingredients. Next mix in the water, oil, and orange extract and stir until a thick batter is formed. Cook the mixture over low/medium heat until a thick dough forms. Turn out onto parchment paper and knead until smooth. Makes about 2 cups of dough.

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I bought some Christmas takeout containers as well as some gingerbread men cookie cutters and viola gifts for the boys friends are done.

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Happy 2nd day of Advent. Christmas is coming. Enjoy each day.