Tag Archives: daughter

Be Living With Irony

In the last six months, I have endured the most devastating and richest time of my life.

I am living through metaphors and irony daily. I should have paid more attention in English Twelve so that I could figure this all out.

Irony, ironic, paradoxical.

Sitting where I am today, I know that I will never be able to ‘make sense’ of my mom’s cancer journey and death.

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But I will look at the irony and beauty that has come from this beast of a year.

The irony that the hard times are when you find your deep friends, the ones that you can never repay, come be at your side, feel free to weep with on a daily basis and organize decorations from 500 kilometres away for mom’s funeral without question.

The letting go of people that just don’t get what you are going through and the deepening of friendships of those that know the profound earth shattering feeling of losing your mom.

The yanking apart of my family so that I could be at Mom’s side.

The incredible pillar of strength deep within my husband so that he could be all things for me and the boys when we needed it throughout this entire journey. Sexy Neck has a deep, deep well. What a gift he has been.

My dad, oh my dad. We were close before we went to war to help mom, but now we have an honesty and camaraderie that makes us teammates and friends.

Sweet victory.

Sad loss.

Richness.

Devastation.

Beauty.

Beast.

Life.

Death.

Light.

Darkness.

Irony.

Living in it, through it, with it, every day!

Be the Best Dad/Parent You Can Be

I am the ‘baby’ of the family. Three years younger than my older sister and three and four years younger than my close cousins.

My perspective on my parents changed dramatically after I left home and had to ‘fend’ for myself. I also felt like I had to make up for those teenage years where I was particularly rotten or at least that’s how the joke goes.

In my twenties, with a bit of distance from my life in the comfortable family home, I realized how much my parents had supported me, loved me, provided for me and let me be who I was.

My parents I would never describe as perfect but I think perfection in parenting is an illusion anyways. I would describe my parents as:

incredibly thoughtful,
loving,
heartfelt and
very present.

I chose these four adjectives because these are the qualities I hope to possess as a parent.

I want to introduce you to my dad:

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Look at my happy OC with his favourite guy, Papa (aka, my dad)! OC only wanted Papa to push him around the pond.

My dad has had his own business, worked for others, but always put his customer’s first. We often laugh because he always did everything in person while working, never via phone or email. If you had an insurance policy to be signed, he would have said policy in front of you to sign. He still refuses to do any on-line banking, in person it is for him.

Dad was also my coach. He coached me with his other brother Darryl in ringette for eight years. My other passion before volleyball came into my life.

In his grief, my dad still takes the time to go skiing and skating with our family. He reads to the boys, sits with them and asks them questions. Often he cries and expresses his distress with “Oh Gwen!” or another word like “darn”! He is present in his grieving, conscious and kind.

Each morning, he welcomes the boys into their bed to cuddle and watch TV, just like mom did. Here are the boys this morning:

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Pure Happiness!

What a man! What a dad! Imperfectly perfect, trying to do the right thing and conscious of all of us around him.

Thanks dad! Love ya!

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