I am the ‘baby’ of the family. Three years younger than my older sister and three and four years younger than my close cousins.
My perspective on my parents changed dramatically after I left home and had to ‘fend’ for myself. I also felt like I had to make up for those teenage years where I was particularly rotten or at least that’s how the joke goes.
In my twenties, with a bit of distance from my life in the comfortable family home, I realized how much my parents had supported me, loved me, provided for me and let me be who I was.
My parents I would never describe as perfect but I think perfection in parenting is an illusion anyways. I would describe my parents as:
incredibly thoughtful,
loving,
heartfelt and
very present.
I chose these four adjectives because these are the qualities I hope to possess as a parent.
I want to introduce you to my dad:
Look at my happy OC with his favourite guy, Papa (aka, my dad)! OC only wanted Papa to push him around the pond.
My dad has had his own business, worked for others, but always put his customer’s first. We often laugh because he always did everything in person while working, never via phone or email. If you had an insurance policy to be signed, he would have said policy in front of you to sign. He still refuses to do any on-line banking, in person it is for him.
Dad was also my coach. He coached me with his other brother Darryl in ringette for eight years. My other passion before volleyball came into my life.
In his grief, my dad still takes the time to go skiing and skating with our family. He reads to the boys, sits with them and asks them questions. Often he cries and expresses his distress with “Oh Gwen!” or another word like “darn”! He is present in his grieving, conscious and kind.
Each morning, he welcomes the boys into their bed to cuddle and watch TV, just like mom did. Here are the boys this morning:
Pure Happiness!
What a man! What a dad! Imperfectly perfect, trying to do the right thing and conscious of all of us around him.
Thanks dad! Love ya!
"Be" ENOUGH 
I think perfection in parenting is an illusion anyways. I would describe my parents as:
incredibly thoughtful,
loving,
heartfelt and
very present.
I love this. When I read posts about perfection in parenting, I’m perplexed about what that would look like. I know my childhood was full of imperfection, but it was even more full of love, and it’s the love I remember most.
Good morning Deborah, thank you for sharing your insight and for your encouraging words.
I am wondering what adjectives do you attribute to parenting.
The adjectives I wrote took me awhile to sift through my mind.
I’ll have to think about the words, but there is one word I think of most closely in line with what I do as a parent: usher. I believe my role is to usher my child(ren, though the second is still in progress) toward futures that incorporate their unique strengths and desires. I’ll stumble here and there, but as long as that’s my objective and I’m moving that direction with love–as well as firmness, when that’s needed–well, then I am overall doing the job I set out to do.
Wow! Usher. Love that!
Thanks for sharing.
Your parents were always the parents to look up to in the family. Not only were they the only ones still married but they always seemed genuinely happy with each other from the times I saw them over the years. They had the only relationship of the adults in our family that I strive for in my own 27 year marriage. I can only pray that Karl & I will still be as deeply in love as we are now when we are married as long as Uncle Mike & Auntie Gwen were. Praise The Lord.
Praise The Lord indeed.
Tears of joy from dad and I!