Tag Archives: boys

Be Living In Godly Isolation

I stand.

On my own.

I wait.

For someone to say something.

For someone to smile, to notice, to see this shattered human among them.

I stand.

In the unknown.

I wait.

For someone to tell me something.

For someone to tell me it will be okay, mom will be healed and I will have my best friend back.

I stand.

Not knowing.

I wait.

For someone to show me something.

For someone to show me why I am living here in isolation with my boys, away from my parents, from my support, from the place I am ‘known’.

I stand.

I understand.

I wait for no one.

No human can answer my questions.

No one can be enough, no one can help me comprehend or bring me moment-by-moment comfort.

I stand.

I am not alone.

I wait.

God is my strength.
My Someone.
My everlasting peace and joy.
My understanding.
My known.
He is more than enough in my isolation from family and friends.
Thank you Jesus.

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Be ‘Moving’ Backwards to go Forward

My counsellor has been working with me to let go of the Western ideal that we move from point A to point B never to return to ‘old stuff’.

When I continue to go over this old ground in my mind, I feel like a failure, I feel shame and I feel mad.

My inner dialogue goes something like this:
“What this again? Seriously Joanna. Are you really going to have this same conversation again? Are we really going down this path? How could this happen again?”

Thanks to my counsellor, I have shifted this A to B mentally to be more of a deepening spiral. Like a tornado funnel.

Oh I like this analogy because sometimes I have me some wind blowing around me!

Yes, I am going to go over the same road again but I am going to be in a different place on my path, a deeper place. (I am almost 40 you know!).

Last night, was a huge mental shift downward into my deepening spiral.

For weeks I have looked for a once per week hockey program that we could do in Ktown. Do you think I could find one? Nope! Minor hockey, that wants to devour families lives with their three times per week practices/games, is the show in this town.

Sooo….
We decided to take JC out of Grade One forty-five minutes early and drive the boys sixty kilometres back to the town we just moved from so that the boys could play hockey.

They are back at the rink they know.

CC has the same coach he had last year.
Papa was on the ice with CC.
JC got to move up a level.
He gets his own jersey this year.
I get to see old friends each week.
AND THE VERY BEST PART, NANA CAME TO WATCH. Can you see me up and jumping around?

It was amazing night of going backwards. JC’s teacher was supportive of our idea, dad laced up his skates and even went for a morning skate to get ready, lastly mom looked me square in the eyes and said, “I am really glad that you are coming here for hockey!”

Anything for you Mama! Now if only I could meet your request for a new body!

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JC waiting to give his brother a high five before his turn on the ice.

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Papa and CC working together.

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OC watching the action.

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Nana is on the right in the toque.

Sometimes you need to go backwards to move forward. Lesson learned. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

Be a Newspaper Robot Maker

Our ‘Angel A’ friend drove over ten hours last week to help out during mom’s post chemo recovery.

‘A’ soared through a rushed trip to the hospital, moment-by-moment decisions and tearful prayer times. We are grateful that she could spend time away from her family to help our family.

One of the best moments she had with our wee boys was during an impromptu craft session using the newspaper sitting on the table, glue, foil and a piece of paper.

The big one on the left is JC, bottom right is CC and top right is OC.

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Can anyone tell we have been doing a lot of snorkelling in the pool?

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#bestcraftever

Be Buying Your Teacher Shoes?

Sunday afternoon, JC and I went to do a few errands for Nana and Papa here in the big city.

I find these one-on-one times with the boys are incredibly insightful and lead me down paths that sometimes I don’t understand.

Here is our story from Sunday:

JC and I were walking through a store looking at the Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations. We were talking about thanksgiving, then being thankful, next was school then we moved on to his teacher. We finished the conversation by trying to think of some way we could show his teacher we are thankful.

JC emphatically answered, “Shoes! Mom, we need to get her some shoes!”

In my mind I started rolling through the options – does she talk a lot about shoes, does she wear different shoes everyday (my high school VP wore a different tie every day), does she wear ‘funny’ shoes or ? I was confused.

He insisted we buy his teacher shoes, but we started talking about how much we wanted to spend or was there something we could do instead. We settled on a sweet treat and a note where I told his teacher the story of the shoes.

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I just received an email from his teacher and here was her response:

I may know why Jackson wanted to buy me shoes!! I have several single shoes at school for an up-coming lesson on selecting ‘good fit’ books. The idea of the lesson is that choosing a book is like choosing shoes to buy: they need to be the right size AND they need to fit your purpose. For example, you wouldn’t wear heels to go hiking. This is just like not choosing a story book about frogs if you want to learn about frogs. All this to say that I have many single shoes at school, and I have not yet explained why. Might he have thought that my shoes don’t have mates? Or is he insinuating that my gym runners are out of style!?!

This is hilarious! My poor organized , empathetic first born noticed all these single shoes and wanted to correct the ‘problem’ for his teacher.

Hahahaha. This made my whole month. I love creative teachers.

Be Playing Living Room Frisbee.

We enjoyed a wonderful hour with Nana and Papa today. Nana has started to eat and drink a bit. Papa enjoyed an afternoon with M working in the garden.

The big boys made a love message in a bottle for Nana. They were so excited to give them to her.

JC enjoyed showing Nana his schoolwork.

OC loved making his cow noises and laughing for Nana.

CC was very gentle and focused while playing living room frisbee with Nana. It was especially sweet when CC said to Nana, “Good one Nan!”

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Be Seeing Jesus’ Castle

Lately, I have an incredible appreciation for clouds. Their beauty, shapes and movement are awe inspiring and wondrous for me.

Tonight, we were driving to Sexy Necks bear school to watch some ‘old’ friends coach volleyball.

We saw these clouds.

JC exclaimed, “It looks like the entrance to Jesus’s castle!”

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Apparently clouds are speaking to more than me these days.

Be Enjoying French Toast Fridays

We already have Taco Tuesdays and Pizza Pie Day Fridays, so we decided to add a new meal party to the menu: French Toast Fridays.

As we structure to create a new “life” in the big city, we are finding challenges in not only the September start-up, an almost completed renovation, new neighbours and mom’s cancer, but also in the schedule of our new school.

They start school at 8:25, go out and play at 11:15, then eat lunch at 11:42 and then have recess at 1:45 before dismissal at 2:30. Last year, the kids had recess in the morning followed by a significant amount of snack time.

Anyways the gist of all these times thrown at you is that the kids only get a small eating break in the morning. Jackson is very hungry until lunchtime.

Today, we added French Toast Fridays to bulk up our usual porridge breakfast with some high protein eggs. Success!

But now I need a few more ideas for Monday thru Thursday. Anyone?

Bon Apetit.

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Gotta love the pure maple syrup!