Category Archives: Family

Be the Power of a Penny

December 23, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

This blog post was started in the summertime as I was playing a “healthy living” game with my friend Penny and an old neighbour and her friend T. I had to add to the post after our ski vacation a few days ago… and finally introduce you to one wonderful human being and friend. Formally know on my blog as Princess P and now just Penny.

Here is a photo of the people playing our summertime game: My teammate Penny and I on the right and our wonderful opponents on the left.

Here are my boys sharing some after dinner books at Auntie Penny’s house. My boys cherish the wonderful books she had for her own children. We love going over to their house for dinner!

Penny made a special point to celebrate our middle guy’s fifth birthday before she went on an European summer holiday. He was thrilled with the very special transformer and book she bought him.

And now while they were working hard to renovate their bathrooms and get ready for their own three wonderful children’s arrival, Penny and Bob came to spend a few wonderful hours with our family on the ski hill.

Penny knew my mom always made PJ’s for my boys at Christmastime and look what she got the boys:

One of the other gifts that my mom has always given me over the years is a knitted scarf and look what I pulled out of the Christmas bag from Penny:

A very lovely, hand-loving-made scarf!

The depth of gratitude I feel is incredible.

When you lose someone important in your life, there is a HUGE hole.

Forever.

The greater the love, the deeper the hole.

But others will lean in and close the gap.

The hole won’t pull you in and down.

People are holding me up right now in prayer and physical presence and “knowing”.

Penny has brought us such joy through these beautiful, thoughtful, handmade gifts.

These were very important to our family.

Healing through fabric.

My mom is gone, but never forgotten.

She lives on through all of us who “knew” her.

Generous.

Thoughtful.

Caring.

Kind.

Mom.

And now the power of a Penny!

christmas, Family, Grief

Be Going on a Ski Vacation

December 23, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

We had the great privilege to spend three days and two nights up at a ski resort. Ski in/ski out, eat in/eat out, ride up/swoosh down, sunshine/snow. It truly was a vacation for all of us, including Papa.

A break from routine.

A diversion from the upcoming one year anniversary of mom leaving us for heaven.

A snow-filled, sun-filled, winter-activity weekend.

Our great friends, Baron Bob and Princess P came and visited us for the evening. The boys went tubing with them for the first time and even go to try the mini-snowmobiles (one day later, once the worker could get them started!)

Nordic skiing down the Bridal Path where we saw snowmobiles, horse-drawn carriages and a few other skiers.

Playing some hockey on the pond with Papa. Everyone got into the action this year!

Tubing… three year old OC looked a little small for the tube, but he was allowed.

The boys were very, very excited to go on the mini-snowmobiles. JC ran into a snow fence, CC managed to zip around him and come back around the loop.

It was a wonderful pre-Christmas vacation!

May the Lord hold you close this Christmas where ever you are physically and within yourself.

What a wonderful season it is to celebrate Jesus’s birthday.

Family, God, Jesus Christ

Be a “Messy” Christian

December 20, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

Messy.

Yup, that describes me.

I ain’t no one hour sitcom that figures it all out.

I don’t live in a magazine showhome.

Nope, not me.

Today, I bawled my eyes out twice talking to my friend in Germany and my cousin in PG.

Yup, crocodile tears rolling down my face.

Yup, that’s me.

I am the kind of girl that sometimes doesn’t even comb her hair.

And sometimes I even wear the same clothes TWO DAYS IN A ROW!

Had to admit it.

I don’t set aside specific “quiet” time to pray.

Not a lot of quiet time to be had.

This is what my morning quiet time looks like:

(Insert three wee boys at the end of the table ~~running around, yelling~~ eating breakfast.)

I do talk with our God throughout my day.

Please Lord, help me keep these boys alive!

I don’t attend church every weekend.

But I do worship and show gratitude to our Lord every day.

No, I am definitely not a nice and tidy Christian attending church every weekend, tithing my ten percent with my perfect “everything is just fine and dandy” smile on my face.

I am one “messy” believer in the Maker of the Universe, glory that God came for the imperfect, the ones that don’t have it all together, messy people like me!

Beautiful to know that God came as a baby, Jesus, and that we get to celebrate his birth next week!

And he was born in a stable.

Now if that ain’t messy, I don’t know what is!

Glory for imperfection.

Tears.

Love.

Life.

Friendship.

Fellowship.

Togetherness.

Celebrating.

My messy life.

With a beautiful birth.

Jesus.

Boys, Family

Be Hitting the Slopes

December 15, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

Eight years since Sexy Neck and I have skied together downhill… and yesterday we skied together for the first time as a family of five.

Amazing to stop and reflect on the past eight years.

Incredible to hear the stories of when Nana skied with Sexy Neck and JC two Christmases ago.

Awesome to feel the swoosh under my skis.

We still are planning on doing some nordic skiing with the boys.

Here they are getting ready:

Family, Grief, writing

Be the Power of One

December 10, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

One word.

One email.

One step.

One blog comment.

One moment.

I am touched in this season by the power of the people around me.

The thoughtfulness of the people around me.

The consistent encouraging comments by Levi on my blog showing me God’s love.

The great communication from friends from afar helping me feel connected.

The cookies dropped off at my door helped feed my brood of boys a special snack.

The incredible emails I have received which move me spiritually and encourage me greatly.

Below is just one example from my friend, ‘Shell’.

Here are her words:

This morning I awoke to read your blog
Needing to connect amidst the fog

Thanks for sharing your journey of grief
The sea of emotion beyond belief

What have I learned since from you, dear friend?
That your Mama loved you unconditional… right to the end

What a treasure she is and heaven’s now richer
Though I wonder why God doesn’t explain that when we turn to scripture

Please know, dear friend, that I care for deep
And this morning I read your blog and began to weep

Thank you for sharing and remaining transparent
About life, love and being a parent

Have you ever read such beautiful, resonating, encouraging words?

Can you be someone’s power of one today?

Will you see the work of One Great God in your own life?

I am a walking testimony to God’s great goodness and love. I am a testimony to the power of the people whom God surrounds us with when we are most vulnerable and humbled.

christmas, Family, Grief

Be A Man – Part V

December 4, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

I love my man! We have ‘grown up’ together, and lived more than half our lives together.

For today, I will leave it at that because I have a Christmas ditty to share.

Last night at my grief seminar, they talked about family traditions and taking the time to re-evaluate what we do at Christmas time.

This afternoon I applied this by talking to the boys about what they really love to do at Christmas. Our youngest loved cookies, our five year old said stockings and our oldest said ‘tree’. I asked what he meant. He said that he would like to have a tree and decorate it.

In previous years, we would drive out of town to a family tree farm, have a play in the snow, some hot chocolate and cut down a tree. I ask the boys if they wanted to go to the tree farm and they emphatically yelled, “No!”. They just wanted a tree.

No commercial break here, as in steps our hero…. My man is driving home from work, we call him and ask him on speaker phone, “Dada, can you bring us a Christmas tree?” No questions asked he says, “I will do my best!”

Only thirty minutes later, Sexy Neck shows up like this:

And the does this:

And also this:

All with his tie and work clothes still on.

Creating blessed family traditions.

One unexpected day at a time.

With my hardworking, flexible man.

And what a man he is!

Family, Grief

Be an Overcomer

December 3, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

There are some things in my life that bring me to a full sweaty mess.

There are many more things that bring me to my knees in a puddle of tears or a need to vomit.

Tonight it was tears.

I went back to Hospice House where my mom died, with dad at her side, on December 26th.

I felt a pull to go back, but also a humbling fear that brought me to tears. I knew that I needed to do this for myself. I knew I needed to overcome my overwhelming feelings of grief and love, despair and compassion that Hospice House brings up for me.

I drove my car north followed by a bright, clear moon and clean roads, as I did many times last fall visiting mom and dad.

I arrived at Hospice House.

I entered the very familiar building and went to a chair to await the seminar about grief and the holidays. I tried not to look too hard, but it was the same.

Beautiful spaces

Christmas decorations

Warmth

Love

Healing

I sat. I cried. I listened to great strategies on Christmas in the midst of grief.

I wrote a card with my mom’s name on it and placed it on the memory tree.

I had some juice and cookies and took a wander down the hall to room number eight.

Yup, it’s still there.

Yup, mom still isn’t.

Unless she’s now a man. A bald-headed one.

Nope, no mom here on earth.

A checked out the fish tank down the hall.

I walked back to the living room and put another name on the tree for my Auntie Gail. I remembered her putting her son, Michael, on the memory tree last Christmas. My cousin was killed in a motor vehicle accident many years ago. I put Michael’s tag on the tree and told him how much his mom loves him.

And then I walked out.

An Overcomer of my emotions.

An Overcomer of fear.

An Overcomer of doing the hard stuff.

Overcome.

Overcame.

Overcomer.

Boys, Family, Grief

Be Wondering About Weather

November 29, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

As fall turns into winter, there is much discourse about the temperature, the wind as well as the white stuff falling from the sky.

Yesterday, as OC and I walked to preschool, I wondered when does a delighted, excited child turn into a grumbling complaining adult weather watcher?

Feeling alive.

Wind on my face.

My son at my side.

Walking into the weather.

There is a storm a brewing.

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"Be" ENOUGH