All posts by Be Enough

Christianity, God, Grief

Be Knowing God is with YOU 

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Two friends are sitting by their mama right now as she recovers from surgery to remove cancer from her breast.  

Living in the unknown. 

Another friend is at home trying to grasp the sudden death of a thirty something neighbour.  She was one of the first on the scene.  

Living with the unknown.  

Yet another friend contemplates leaving a job that has almost destroyed her yet she felt called to do.  

Just not knowing which way to go.  

And today I went to the store to buy a dish dryer.   I didn’t find one.  

A few hours later, I was riding my bike down the road and look what was lying on the side of the road:  

  

A very small daily reminder that God knows my needs and He is with Me. 

Living in the unknown?

Living with the unknown? 

Not knowing which way to go?

Just take one step.  

And another.  

Listen.  

Look around you.  

You will be amazed at what you see. 

And what if you don’t see? 

Ask God to help you?  

He loves you.  

God, Grief, Self-help, writing

Be Me with My Peeps 

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I love people.  

Always have.  

Always will. 

Them my peeps.  

I would not have survived the last sixteen months without.  

You know who you are! 

I was told that the hole my mom left in my life would never heal but that people would lean and the hole wouldn’t be so humongous.  

I agree with this analogy.  

Because of my peeps.  

The strange thing that happened on this journey the last sixteen months is that I also learned to be okay with myself.    

  

No more people pleasing.  

Be with people because it is pleasing.  

 Using my gifts.  

Being quiet when I need to.  

Saying ‘no’ and being okay.  

Letting go of relationships that are hurtful and judgemental.  

Allowing myself to feel.  

Allowing myself to be me.  

I am forever grateful for the gifts my mom has given me through her life and her death.  

I have never been so blessed in my entire life than I am right now!  

 

Boys, Family

Be Celebrating Eight 

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The snowman birthday – eight.  

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We celebrated our oldest’s birth day a few weeks ago as a family.  JC joined me on an early morning bike ride.   We ate our son’s foods of choice.  We went swimming and opened gifts.   

     

   

         

I am so grateful to be this eight years olds mom.  

It is pure joy to see his sensitive heart that he wears on his shoulders.  

It is profound to watch my first born forge his own path with no one ‘ahead’ of him.  

It is amazing to watch him develop and grow.  

Happy snowman birthday.  

God, Jesus Christ

Be Having a Gas Pump Epiphany

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I am standing at the gas pump.

Minding my own business.

Just hanging out.

Chilling.

Watching the numbers go up and up and up and…

Wham!

Epiphany time!

Yup, that’s how it rolls for me right now.

I realized that as the gas filled my tank that I had FAITH that this was gas pouring into my car.  I had FAITH that this was gas not some other liquid.  I TRUSTED the gas station.  I had FAITH that once my car was filled with this smelly, unseen liquid that my car would then convert it so that I could drive.  I TRUSTED the gas station and the drivers that brought the gas to the station AND I even trusted the people that put it in the tankers in the first place!   I TRUST and have FAITH that this whole process will work, even though I don’t UNDERSTAND even how my car works and why can’t I just put vegetable oil into my car?

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That is whole bunch of TRUST and FAITH in one simple act.

Gas.

Powerful.

Energy producing.

Faith.

Trust.

Understanding?

This time at the pump made me ponder my relationship with God.  I didn’t come to know God until university, until the age that I truly began to ponder life for myself, outside the safety of the house my parent’s created.  I came to seek this relationship on the university grounds.  I came to know this very personal God in my bedroom, in my childhood home.  I asked Him to show Himself to me.

He did.

Personally.

On my own.

He is my light.

My force.

He is my God, Saviour, Father…

Since then, every day I have FAITH that God will be with me and help me.  I have TRUST that He will work everything out for His good even when I don’t UNDERSTAND.

No longer do I seek to understand many things that I know I never will, but I TRUST and have FAITH.

This is enough.

What will you put your FAITH and TRUST in today?

God, Grief

Be Celebrating Your Mom’s Birthday 

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Last year, it was lemon meringue cake, dinner as a family and sending balloons up to Nana in heaven.

This year, it is receiving a beautiful phone call from my mom’s friend’s Donna and Wendy, a morning text from Sexy Neck and a great friend in KCity plus I took an afternoon bike ride.  



It is tears.  

It is joy.  

It is shattering grief and living life all wrapped up in pieces of mom’s birth day.  

I don’t know how to do any of this!  

How does one celebrate a day that they’ve always celebrated with a woman that they love celebrating when that woman is no longer with you? 

So, I bike. 

I sit.  

I cry.  

I look at reminders, especially this one I created one month ago that reminds me of the great roots my parents gave me.  



The waves of grief no longer pushes me underwater until I can’t breathe, but I am still on the boat, rowing in this grief, learning about myself and filled with deep gratitude for how present, wonderful and loving my mom was.  

I wish I could get a piece of that back! 

Boys, Family

Be Savouring Sunsets 

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Spring break. 

Done.  

Sunsets savoured.  

Tasted.  

Touched.  

Danced through.  

Played under.  

Sunsets. 

I first began my love affair with sunsets as an university student.  I moved from the mountains to the prairies to go to school and watching the sun slip off the earth mesmerized me.  

Captured.  

Stopped in my tracks.  

My propulsion moving me endlessly forward was halted.  

Breath taken. 

By brilliant colours.  

Chasing the sun setting.  

The sun has shown me its incredible force.  

Bringing light.  

Hope for a new day.  

A peaceful ending to moments made.  

Creating warmth.  

Thank you God for the sun and sunsets. 

We now have three boys who savour sunsets.  

Here they are enjoying a stopped moment savouring the sunset on our last day of spring break holidays.

Did anyone notice the sunrise shot I threw in?  Tee hee, cheeky monkey I am!

Lastly, I have been cleaning out old junk/treasures and I can across this poem I wrote in grade seven: 

I love how God weaves together themes for me.