Last year, it was lemon meringue cake, dinner as a family and sending balloons up to Nana in heaven.
This year, it is receiving a beautiful phone call from my mom’s friend’s Donna and Wendy, a morning text from Sexy Neck and a great friend in KCity plus I took an afternoon bike ride.
It is tears.
It is joy.
It is shattering grief and living life all wrapped up in pieces of mom’s birth day.
I don’t know how to do any of this!
How does one celebrate a day that they’ve always celebrated with a woman that they love celebrating when that woman is no longer with you?
So, I bike.
I look at reminders, especially this one I created one month ago that reminds me of the great roots my parents gave me.
The waves of grief no longer pushes me underwater until I can’t breathe, but I am still on the boat, rowing in this grief, learning about myself and filled with deep gratitude for how present, wonderful and loving my mom was.
I wish I could get a piece of that back!