Last Wednesday, JC woke up with a bit of a fever, I kept him home!
It was a PJ, truck playing, leaf gathering, door jam hanging, hockey equipment wrestling kind of day.
Today, Nana is getting sprung from the hospital so we are going for a visit.
When deciding on what to do, I often ask myself, “When (insert name of son) is eighteen years old, is this going to matter?”.
A whole day with his brothers and now a day with Nana and Papa, yup these days matter! Sorry school!
On Sunday night, I drove in tears to the hospital with the full moon as my guide. Even though I wanted desperately to see how my mom was doing, I stopped by the side of the road to admire the beautiful full moon.
Today, I had the extreme privilege of driving mom home from the hospital in the beautiful full sun.
It was an excruciating week, but one where God’s light was so evident.
– we ended up back on the Women’s and Children’s hospital ward. Mom knew all the nurses but one.
– Dr. Daniels is back on mom’s case as her gynocologist. She hasn’t gone on maternity leave yet so we are grateful.
– Mom finally got her diagnosis yesterday. It is stage 3 ovarian.
– my sister, M, was here for a visit on the weekend and was instrumental in getting mom to the hospital. She is a force! She was able to stay until late Monday night.
– Mom had a blood transfusion while she was in the hospital and is getting stronger.
– Mom’s pain is finally under control
– Mom does not have an infection from the surgery
– Mom is eating
As I reflect on these past four days, I am amazed at how I have seen God working. On Sunday morning, I felt God gave me a new word to explore. Can you guess the word? Light! We also started a new bedtime prayer (Genesis1:16)with the boys: God made two great lights–the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.
Do you see a theme? I love how God works. I am holding onto His light because this sure is a dark and painful time for my mama, my family and our friends.
Mom on Sunday:
Mom today:
Mom is suppose to have chemotherapy #4 on Monday. We will see what unfolds! In His hands we rest and wait.
While I was getting ready for my day one morning, JC was sitting at the kitchen table.
He proceeded to flip through the newspaper, find a coloring contest, color to the very best of his ability and then cut it out. He finished off the task by writing his name and then calling me to show me what he had done. I was incredibly amazed. We added our phone number. Then, I noticed that the coloring contest was ending today. I dropped the coloring contest paper off at the local newspaper and voilà the task was done.
Two weeks later we got a phone call and JC had won the coloring contest!!
Here is his coloring effort as well as the great prize that he won:
Last week, I was watching my boys play on their scooters and bikes when I saw this beautiful Daylily that had grown back beautiful, green leaves since I had pruned it in September. This will give you a hint of the abnormally warm weather we had in October.
On that day, this little plant taught me a very valuable lesson, something I have been pondering for over fifteen years.
In the bible, the book of John tells us that Jesus says, God is the gardener, he is the vine and we are the branches. Jesus goes on further to say that he prunes us so that we will be even more fruitful.
I’ve never really understood this beautiful picture. I’ve always thought if God is God why does he need to prune us?
Back to my Daylilly in front of our house. As I walked up to it I started having a conversation in my head.
I’m sorry little Daylily. You are incredibly beautiful and wonderfully green, but I’m going to have to prune you. I know that the winter is coming soon and you are going to die unless I prune you. I need to cut back your leaves so that in the spring we can enjoy your beautiful flowers.
After these thoughts went through my head, I wanted to get down and lie on the sidewalk. I have been known to do that before with my prayer walking buddies.
I feel that I am in a season of pruning and sometimes it hurts. It is hard to see those beautiful green, lush plant leaves fall away. For me those green leaves would be: expectations, needing to ‘know’, some relationships, wanting to help. None of these things are bad, but I see that to move forward I need to let these things fall to the ground.
Now I sit, with my people, and I notice.
I try to be gentle with my newly pruned self.
My pruning is neither good nor bad.
It just is.
I allow those beautiful plants around me to give me encouragement.
Those plants that are amazing at weathering the winter storms.
My counselor, my old Clark Crescent friends, my mommy friends, my prayer warriors, sexy neck and God.
In Him alone I put my trust.
I looked to His creation, His word and His ways to continue to teach me, and to allow me to weather this storm. How do you weather storms when they come?
Mom Update
Mom is one tough cookie! This process is not for wimps. Mom has had excruciating back pain all week due to her surgery two weeks ago. This morning we met with the oncologist to talk about her chemotherapy that she should start next week. This will be chemotherapy number four! Mom is very weak and still having difficulty eating. She also continues to lose weight. The doctor would like her to be stronger before she does her next chemotherapy. This should probably be the last week of November. Mom is greatly encouraged by her grandkids, a friend, Donna, who came for a visit this week as well as by my dad’s presence and my sister flying in tonight. God has us all in the palm of his hands. May you sleep well tonight mama. I love you so very much.
Have you ever wanted to know how to keep your foot out of your mouth when someone you know/love is suffering? I read a theory the other day that a friend posted on Facebook. I haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head.
I’m one of those people that loves to put their feet, yes both of them, in their mouth. Sometimes at night, I lay awake and wonder why I said the things that I said. Often an email apology or phone call is on my to do list for the next day.
This theory, called Ring Theory by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman, gives me a framework as my mom heals from
cancer to know who to talk to. I’ve had many pitfalls in the last couple of months talking to people in my ring or the rings above me.
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I sought out the people that were closest to me. These people were my husband and my parents. My sister also became a larger part of our lives at this time and I tried to seek out support from her. At night, I’ve often wondered why these conversations hadn’t gone well! This theory makes everything come full circle. It all makes sense.
Here’s my ring that I have started to work on. It is definitely a work in progress as I ponder those larger rings.
My understanding of the theory is that you comfort every single person that is in your ring or in one of the smaller rings. You can complain and say whatever you want to anyone that is in a larger ring than yourself.
The Los Angeles times article on this theory had some great examples of people living with breast cancer and suffering from brain aneurysms. If you want to read more take a look at the link below.
Here’s the article!
Thanks for posting this on Facebook Shank! Shank’s other tip was from Dr. Phil a few years ago, “When you know better you do better!” You are on fire girl! Thank for sharing.
A piece of word art and prayer from my dear friend D!
My cup overflows with gratitude, light and love. Prayer does make a difference in my life! Thank you for this prayer my friend.
I had to share this with all of you!
This is the funniest parenting comedy sketch I have seen in a long time!
Enjoy! Joanna
"Be" ENOUGH 