The biggest question that I get as a home-based learning parent and teacher is: “How is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting?” This genuine, heartfelt and often “worry-filled” question from many people close to us always comes from a place that we are ‘lacking’ socialization in home-based learning. My most recent question about socializing my kids came while sitting in a dentist waiting room. It had me pondering what does socializing mean and what do we actually do to “socialize” the boys. This is a long one, and may shock some, so strap yourselves in folks!
According to Merriam-Webster we have two definitions of “socialization” that fit for this question:
- “The process, beginning during childhood, by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society
- “Social interaction with others”
After being at the receiving end of this question for over five years, I now want to laugh out loud, but I don’t because I know that this question comes from a lack of understanding on what home-based learning looks like.
Do we believe that children can be socialized best, “acquiring the values, habits and attitude of society”, by being in a classroom with the same teacher with their same gifts/talents plus the same 30 students for ten months a year for 6 hours per day? *******Remember: These children and their families often have no say with whom their children will share their days with.
Okay then Joanna, how is your child going to learn to be socialized outside of a campus school setting? I simply respond with sharing that I believe that children are best socialized when they are interacting with many ages and generations of people with variegated ideas and passions. Imagine having many “teachers”, on a daily basis, that have assorted gifts? I am going to share what our family currently did for learning activities “beyond the books” and online programs that add to their “socialization” that many people around us are worried about. Strap yourself in, as even I am shocked at what I realized my boys experience on a weekly/monthly basis for “socialization”.
SIDENOTE: Please carefully remember that because my children don’t sit in a classroom all day and have to “live by someone else’s schedule”, we can truly create the schedule that is unique to them, their abilities and their energy levels. They have more “time” throughout their days to do the activities that I am listing plus more downtime to read on the couch, sit in the yard, climb trees and play random games of tennis, soccer, basketball… Learning happens from waking until they go to bed twelve months of the year. Home-based learning is the term that I often use, as home is the base, but learning can and does happen everywhere we go. The ADDED BONUS in this home-based learning lifestyle is that the boys can sleep in when they are tired and we also don’t hesitate to change our schedule or skip things, if they feel a cold coming on or simply need a break.
Here are our list of activities where opportunities for “socialization” occur during this current season (Spring, 2023):
Grade 10 Son’s Activities:
- Goes to campus school every second day
- Trampoline gymnastics 3 x per week
- Trampoline competitions 5 x per year
- Chiropractor 1 x per month
- Physiotherapy 4 x per year
- Ultimate frisbee team 3 x per week
- Soccer referee 1 x per week
- Helps our neighbour in her yard 1 x per week
- Drivers training and classes 1 x per for 8 weeks
- Talks to our other neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
- Video editing and making movies (Learning from Youtubers)
- Play VR with a home learning friend 1 x per week
- Walk the dog and run into random people
- Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
- Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week
Grade 8 Son’s Activities:
- Taekwondo 3 x per week
- Taekwondo events 2 x per year
- Soccer 2 x per week
- Soccer Referee 2 x per week
- Voice/Music lessons 1 x per week
- Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
- Swimming lessons set
- Youth Group
- Speech therapy 1 x per week
- Tutoring 1 x per week
- Occupational Therapy 1 x every 2 weeks
- Physiotherapy 1 x per month
- Orthodontist 1 x every six weeks
- Visit the public library 1 x per week
- Walk the dog and run into random people
- Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
- Hangout with a neighbour 1 x per month
- Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week
Grade 6 Son’s Activities:
- Taekwondo 2 x per week
- Soccer 2 x per week
- Trumpet lessons 1 x per week
- Take mail over to our neighbours 1 x per month
- Drawing/Cartooning class 1 x per week
- Grass volleyball league 2 x per week
- Visit the public library 1 x per week
- Talk to our neighbour about what he is building/doing 1-2 x per week
- Swimming lessons set
- Walk the dog and run into random people
- Go to his brothers’ activities 3 x per week
- Dinner/visits/activities with friends 2 x per week
This doesn’t include other arbitrary visits with people in the grocery store, when we give friends a ride home, someone comes to the front door and the hours of conversation that we have as a family eating dinner every night together, pouring love onto each of the boys’ lives, building them up, coaching them individually, working through problems and simply being a perfectly imperfect family. We are truly blessed.
If you are personally worried about the socialization of a home-based learning student, ask them: “What do your days look like?”
Many home learning families have more time for interactions with their extended family that adds richness and value and others, like us, bring in ‘experts’ from the community around them with their unique talents to pour into their children. Every family’s learning schedule is unrepeatable and socialization opportunities are truly unfathomable. What our kids experience on a daily basis could never be repeated inside a campus classroom.
If after reading this blog post and talking with your home-based learning friends/ family members you are still personally worried about the socialization, I would turn this worry into the socialization that is happening with a campus setting. We are grateful to be “skipping” many of the social behaviours that are happening in the middle school years in our community.
The moments are endless for home-based learning young people, learning outside the constraints of a campus building, with a schedule that is designed personally designed for them. This isn’t a lifestyle of learning for everyone, but it is for anyone who has the desire and time plus wants to learn from a variety of people with a variety of gifts all year long.
Have a sunny Saturday and love what you do.
xoxo Joanna
P.S. Can anyone tell that my boys were at camp this week? 3 posts in 3 days. I really missed them a ton and enjoyed the time to ponder and think.
"Be" ENOUGH 