Tag Archives: love

Be Riding the Waves of Grief

Wonderful Counsellor.

Beautiful friends.

Inspired women.

Prophetic words.

I have had the privilege to come across a few women with the gift of prophesy or in my words “a way to speak God’s words into their own life and those around them.” I am truly privileged.

My counsellor, whom I started seeing last winter, has this gift.

Every time that I see her she will share a metaphor about my life and this metaphor will be confirmed by two or more people within twenty four hours.

Here is the latest prophetic instalment brought up by my counsellor and confirmed by Emi and Jenny.

My counsellor was speaking about grief. I heard her say that grief is like an ocean. You are going along on your life path when suddenly tragedy strikes and there lies before you an ocean of grief. The only way to get across it is to row. Sometimes the ocean is calm and other times the waves are rough. Waves can also come out of nowhere. But rowing we must do through tears, sun, love, sadness… You get the picture.

Here’s a photo my counsellor gave me. I am looking forward to a ‘calm’ moment while riding the waves of grief.
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As we row this ocean of grief, I am grateful for God’s presence and the prophetic words of those around me.

This is not the end to my wave metaphor, but only the beginning…

After I returned home, I checked my email. My inbox had a message from my University roommate, Emi, who has paved the path of grief by losing her dad last spring.

Here’s Emi and her dad:

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Here’s what she wrote:

I’ve read through this a few times… Good for thought and much rings true for me…

The link is here BUT this is what struck me: The author is talking about fifteen things they wish they knew about grief.

Number 3 is that grief comes in waves.

Whew, time to lie down, but this ain’t the end.

This morning, we woke up and I dragged myself to cross country ski lessons with the boys. My new motto is fake it til I make it! I shed an ocean of tears behind my sunglasses as I met many friends who had just heard about beautiful mom not joining us up on the ski hill. I was honest and then exhausted.

But God continues to help me walk one step at a time as I ran into Jenny from Elle Mikal. She made the toques for our family. Take a look here and here!

The first thing Jenny said to me is that grief is like a wave. She always thinks about being on a surf board. She told me to grab my bikini to ride the waves.

Riding the waves.

My boys at my side.

Tears falling down.

God is my guide

——-/———/——–/——–/—-/—-

Beautiful photos from Jenny, each with a story I will keep close to my heart.

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Be Remembering Mom(New Year Goals)

This journey through cancer with my mom has been a rich and horrific time. Watching my mom deal with pain on a daily basis, seeing her fortitude to choke back elephant size pills (we both hate taking pills!) and all of us trying to figure out what to do to help when there is really nothing you can do stretched me beyond my limits most days.

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Today, my journey has been to look through old photos to try to remember what my beautiful mom looked like pre-cancer.

The light in my mom’s eyes never faded. They were strong and clear and loving until the last morning when she said, “Hi” to me. Her muscles atrophied and her weight faded, but her determination did not. Every day she set a goal for herself, some days it was just to eat more protein, others it was to put one foot on the floor beside her bed and lastly it was to have that one drink of thirst-quenching water.

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What goals do you have for this New Year?

My goals are simple:

– Live one day at a time.

– Look into the eyes around me.

– Live my life with determination, just like my mom.

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I love you Mama. I miss you dearly and I can’t imagine my life without you. BUT I have learned a lot from you and I take these things into my new year. I love you Mama. I miss you so much.

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Be Preparing to Celebrate a Great Life

The lights streams in down the lake as I sit at my parents kitchen table.

Dad eats his lunch and adds to our dialogue.

Jamie sits and writes my mom’s eulogy.

20131228-143403.jpgAuntie Gail is on the phone to fill in the gaps. Thank God for her great memory.
JC and CC practice memorizing their poem.

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Marnie keeps the copious amounts of beautiful flowers and food organized.

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Sexy Neck is gathering and testing AV equipment. He is so talented and a pillar of faith.

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Me, I walk around in disbelief.
Numb.
Dumbfounded.
I gather photos and memorabilia that represent my mom and her life.
I add what I can, as I love having this time to talk about my beautiful mom.

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I am privileged to be walking this journey with such selfless, thoughtful, caring, loving people.

My prayer is that tomorrow God’s love, peace and light will shine on us tomorrow. I pray that my mama would be proud.

See you tomorrow in person and in spirit.

20131228-145005.jpgAnd no I am not going to sing!!

Be Sharing Your Story – Bev & Darryl

My dad’s “other brother Darryl” and his beautiful Bev came to visit today.

Here is their journey:

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They share a beautiful gift that children give us and the love of family. I wrote how butterflies seem to be a theme for us right now here.

And then I got this note:

Dear Jenkins Family,

It was so nice to see you all yesterday, and especially to be able to see Gwen and hold her hand for a few moments. We are all thinking about you so much and following your journey . It was such a coincidence today that our granddaughter , Isla, insisted on putting on her summer butterfly dress ( she made her Mom dig it out of the summer clothes box) and drew a butterfly picture for us. We truly feel the connection to everything you shared with us about butterflies and your Mom. We will think of her always when we see a beautiful butterfly. Our love and prayers are with you tonight.
Love to All
Darryl, Bev,Kristi, Shannon and Trinity

December 24th
Dear Joanna,

Words cannot express how saddened I am that your family must take this journey so early in your mother’s life. As has been said many times, her beautiful smile and infectious laugh will be missed by many. Her legacy will be the inner strength she has passed on to her two beautiful daughters. From the moment of birth we have to complete many journeys that God has asked us to do. This journey is one that your mother’s teaching will see you through. Let it be known that Steve (aka sexy neck) and Craig are blessed to have the Jenkins girls and families in their lives. When your Mom moves on to a new world your Dad will continue to help guide his family through these journeys. When I am travelling through the woods or at one of my favourite fishing haunts and a beautiful butterfly arrives I will be sure to know its significance. May you and your family find peace in your inner strength.

God bless.

Hugs to all.

Coach Darryl.

Be Sharing Your Story – Violet (Corey’s Mom)

Hi Joanna,

Your mom, Gwen, your dad, Mike, you & Michelle and of course your families are always in our thoughts, as you all move through this stage of your mother’s life.

I’m so glad that your mom and I were able to have a friend to friend visit in June at their house. It was great to see the beautiful yard and changes in the house since I’d last been there.

We have visited on the phone a couple of times since then. My last chat with your mom was just prior to us going to Edmonton for Thanksgiving. We had our usual long chat; once we started talking I forgot that she might be tired and chatted on-on-on. I was worried that I’d been tiring her out, after we hung up.

I have a few thoughts which I’d like to share.

Hi Gwen,

Thank you for being a such a sincere, valued friend for several decades. I’m so lucky that we ended up living on the same crescent for so many years. Your friendship is very special to me.

Thank you for not only being my friend but for sharing your family with us. You and your family were a special part of our lives.

I will always remember –

our times together at the skating rink
our helping at Heritage Elementary events
watching Corey, Michelle, Robyn and Joanna grow from preschool children, to elementary school, to teenagers in high school, to young adults in university, to getting married, to having children of their own
watching volleyball games together at home & away
listening to the DP Todd band ; being very proud of their participation; Mr. Mason & the band
tagging along on the band on trips
walking as fast as we could around the neighbourhood to get our exercise, chatting all the way ; even at 6:00 A.M.
visiting at one of our homes after the early Christmas Eve service at St. Andrews
the angels which Joanna & Robyn made at the Youth Group
the part which you played in Corey going to France for twenty-seven days
our chats over a cup of tea or at times a glass of wine
the kids enjoying each others company
including our children
I’ll never forget our trip home from Vernon after the girl’s volleyball tournament with the orange low gas light on for half of the way; we laughed all the way home wondering whether we were going to have to flag down the bus which the team was on
needless there are to many things to list so I will stop now

I’ve appreciated Joanna’s daily blog. It has brought tears but also smiles when reading the entries. It gave me the time to grieve but rejoice in your life and fight to live.

When the time comes I will be trying to smile, as you fly like a butterfly into the blue yonder.

You will be missed and remembered.

With love,
Violet