Tag Archives: God

Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Not Knowing

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Hmpppff, we are two months and ten days into a six week renovation project.  We bought a “smokers” house.  Here and here are the sordid details.   It has been a difficult process for me.  More of the groaning and moaning here.  But nothing compares to the constant not knowing of the “mass” that lays in my mama’s abdomen.

Here’s my mom!

As we have been renovating, we have been living with my parents in their basement.  (No we don’t play video games!)

I have been completely baffled watching my mom in pain, on the couch or in her bed.

MY MOM RODE HER BIKE IN SPAIN IN APRIL WITH PEOPLE TRAINING FOR THE TOUR DE FRANCE!  MY MOM WAS RIDING 90KMS PER DAY.  MY MOM EVEN FELL OFF HER BIKE THREE TIMES!  HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING? Now my yelling will stop, sorry about that.

Anyways, the ebb and flow of my parents lives has changed into this every day living of “unknowing”.  Unknowing of whether my mom will get out of bed or will be able to fall asleep.  Not knowing what she will want to eat that day.  Unknowing of how to help or not to help depending on what she needs.   When to sit beside her and when to step aside.

I am living between two words right now, the one we are trying to create in our new home 60kms down the lake and my life here living with my parents and trying to support my mom and dad through their pain and grief.

Every day though, I have hope.  Hope knowing that God does know.  Hope knowing that He has placed people around me who can empathize, who really listen and hear what I am trying to convey.  I have hope that God wants to prosper us all, not by the words standards, but by His!

Glory to God alone.  It’s okay that I don’t know.  It is going to be very interesting to see how everything works out.

(This post has been percolating for awhile in my hamster wheel brain and I pray that it conveys the strength of my parents, the shock of this illness and the hope we place in God. )

Boys, Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Knowing About Alcoholism

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Boys, come sit down on our virtual couch tonight, we need to have a heart-to-heart chat.   I am going to tell you something very serious, very heartfelt and very important.

(BUT first, a cute  photo of one of Nana and Papa’s many costumes.)

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Alcoholism is in our family, our blood and it is something you need to be aware of.  No, don’t be afraid of it, just be aware.

Alcohol, like any addiction, will steal your days away, create a barrier between you and your loved ones and will make you do things you never thought you would do. 

We have a loved one that “relapsed” the last few days.  They went on a drunken binge.  They hit their head, which caused a gash that will probably need stitches or glue.   We know that they feel shame, guilt, sadness and all the hopelessness in their world.  

Unfortunately boys, there is nothing we can do.  They need God’s help.  

Addictions are powerful.  I know because I battle my daily addictions to certain foods, reality TV, Facebook and I am sure a myriad of other small things I rely on for comfort when my emotional storm comes.  Every day I need to be open to relying on God and those He has placed around me.  

I feel strongly that anything that harms your close, authentic relationships may be an addiction.  Are you playing too many video games instead of talking to your friends?  Do you think about playing video games all the time?  Or how about when you start drinking alcohol, you drink too much too often? Do you hide your drinking?  Do you think about when you can get your next drink?  Has anyone close to you mentioned that you may be drinking too much? 

Boys, please know that you are not alone, if you do end up struggling with alcohol.  Yes, alcoholism is in our family.   BUT,  it can be overcome, just ask your Great Grandfather who has been sober for over thirty years.  

May God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.  (From the Serenity Prayer that hangs on our bedroom wall)

Boys, I pray this day and many more days, that you will never know the sadness of alcoholism like we know, that you will never know the worry about what will happen next to your loved one with alcoholism and that you will never know the deep sorrow of coming out of a drunken binge.

Boys, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Taking Dukey On A Hike

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We are in the final days of “living” in the town where all three of my boys were born. I have been very intentional visiting with certain people and going to special places.

On Sunday, we went for a hike on the acreage behind the first house we lived in.   We went with an old neighbour and her son.  This is the home where JC was born beside the dishwasher.  Here’s the story.

JC insisted on taking his backpack with a snack and a few other things in it.  Does this ever happen to you with your own children?  I said yes and boy did we get a surprise.

We had hiked up to the top of the hill overlooking the lake.  The boys were sitting and chatting when suddenly out popped “Dukey”, JC’s teddy bear.  We don’t let our teddy bears go travelling with us, but I sure smiled when I saw Dukey.

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My mom had given us Dukey when were six months pregnant with JC.  She gave it to us in the house at the bottom of this hill the Christmas before JC was born.

When Dukey popped out of the backpack it was a very special moment thinking about all that has happened in the last seven years since our boys (and Dukey) came into our lives.

Thanks JC for being in tune with other people and God’s Spirit inside of you.  You are one of the most thoughtful and caring people that I know.  You made us all smile today.

Christianity, Construction, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Loving People, Use Things

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I used to drive by this church every day.   The quotes they put on their front billboard always fascinate me.

This quote made me want to weep.

When I first saw this sign I felt incredibly sad.  I was in a place of feeling like a discarded  “thing”.  As we are moving, certain friends have fallen away.  See this blog.

Two weeks later, I saw this quote with new eyes.  It made me want to cry tears of joy.

God had placed me with an incredible group of Christian women in a boot camp/bible study ran by our good friend “Bam” of HappyFitMe.

These women gave me hope as they shared of themselves, their healing, their love of God and their struggles.  Jesus’ loved poured out of each of them every time we were together.  The words were honest.  The actions were truthful.  They gave everything they had in our workouts at the playground, on the field, in the gym and in the pool.  It was incredible.

And now as our family moves down the lake into our new house, I have hope.

Hope that God will prosper me.  Hope that God does have a plan for my life.  Hope that the friends He will surround me with will be like these boot camp women and all the women that have walked/ran with me during this very difficult transition.  Image

Jesus Christ, psychology, Self-help

Be Remembering

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I remember running in fear to and from the stop sign,

searching, looking for the boogie man.

I remember monsters lurking under my bed and around every

corner and in every closet.

I remember fire, falling and blindness in my dreams,

sometimes I still remember those.

I remember being trapped in a bin, outside the house,

in closets, in darkness.

I remember being shut out, turned from, not listened to,

I ran away alone.

I remember sleepovers I didn’t want to be at,

many I came home from.

I remember feelings of discomfort, judgement, inability to live up to expectations,

oh ya, I still have those.

I remember fearing alcohol, the effect on my body and others.

I remember preaching abstinence from it.

NOW I know in my body the light,

I remember God’s light shining in my basement bedroom in 1995,

I remember God’s love, His acceptance, His peace, His kindness, His grace.

I remember His ways are not my ways.  Everything doesn’t have to make sense.

I remember God is who He says He is in the bible, in nature, in wise people around me.

I remember the fragrance of heaven surrounding me.

I remember to trust, let go of performance and to REST.

I remember the FoRest, by the pond where God meets me.

I remember His word is alive and active in ME… yup me.

I remember to swing and to allow God to push me.  Swing Joanna!

I remember that I will be healed in 2013.  Glory, Hallelujah.  Thank you Jesus.

My Favourite Song to end off this post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8welVgKX8Qo

Family, Jesus Christ

Be AMAZED!

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Hi everyone, Joanna here:

Today, I was wondering what to share about this incredibly humbling week. Roger’s blog post inspired me to share our latest journey with you. We have had many emotions this week as we search for a new house.


Here is the gist of our househunting story:
Last week, we put in an offer on a house. The owners took another offer from another family. Yesterday, our realtor phoned us and told us that the financing didn’t come through for the family with the accepted offer. He asked if we wanted to put in another offer. He proceeded to tell us that we should offer $11,000 less than we did last week.  DRUM ROLL PLEASE…. Today, we found out our offer was accepted. Today, we are rejoicing and have a better understanding that God’s ways our not our ways. He has always helped us find a place to live as we humbly ask for His help. We are extremely grateful and amazingly stunned. Glory to God! I can’t wait to see the mansion in heaven that God has for us like Roger Tharpe blogged about!  Thanks for the inspiration Roger.  

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two-peace-faced-lovebird-feng-wei-photographyFor the promises of God to be performed in your life you must love God. He must be the object of your affection and not just a byword used when you’re in trouble. You must make a commitment to put him first and for him to become your God.

For the Bible declares that in all things God works for the good of those who LOVE him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). The key in this verse is love. You must love God for all things to work together for his good.

This verse is for lovers only. You must have a relationship with Jesus. You must confess your sins and repent and receive God’s forgiveness. When you become a lover of God all your works will lead to good. This does not mean you will escape trouble or that you will be perfect, but…

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Book, psychology, Self-help

Be “Daring Greatly”

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When certain friends recommend books, I know that I should order the book from the library. (I love my library!)

BUT when Ang recommends a book I know that I have to get my hands on it! I normally buy 2 or 3 books per year and when Ang recommended the book Daring Greatly I had it in my hands within the week via Amazon.

The subtitle of the book is “How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”.

I am on chapter 3, but I have to share the excerpt I read yesterday while I jump up and down. Here it is:

“As I explained in the introduction, there are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness: facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.”

DID YOU READ THAT? Yes more encouragement that I am enough!!

I love God.

“Coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous!”

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