Tag Archives: friends

Boys, cancer

Be an ‘Old’ Friend.

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A friend sticks close no matter the weather.

A friend tells you when they are in town even if they can’t see you.

A friend uses her professional singing voice to sing your boys a bedtime song.

A friend drives ten hours on their holidays to come help you.

A friend asks about your mom and listens to the answer.

A friend loves you AND your family no matter the behaviour.

A friend bakes spelt buns just because.

A friend delivers food to the hospital and home.

A friend phones to check in, but doesn’t say “how are you?” because this makes you bawl your eyes out.

A friend cries with you when you get the prognosis.

A friend lets them hug you for a long time.

A friend pray unceasingly, even if it is the same prayer over and over.

A friend helps even if you haven’t seen them in twenty years or two hours.

A friend brings wine.

A friend climbs a mountain one day and walks with you another day.

A friend loves.

A friend is lovingly brutally honest.

A photo of just a few of our dear friends that have touched our lives and kept us strong through this time of change.

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Mom started her third chemo yesterday. She is struggling with nausea, eating and the extreme fatigue. Surgery is booked for October 31st in VCity.

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Family, Flexibility, Jesus Christ

Be Waiting for Friends

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I have asked God to help me with new friends in our big city. I feel tired!

I have been very fortunate to have made very empathetic, thoughtful friends in our old town down the highway. Many have visited, most keep in touch. This is enough. I am blessed with friends.

I am happy to drop my son off and observe those around me. Normally, I am the one trying to connect and engage with others.

I am content to allow my son’s teacher to connect with him without my input or guidance or even an introduction. I will meet her at parent-teacher conferences in October.

I am okay with walking along and watching my beautiful boys beside me.

But this is not the end of my story.

Two Fridays ago, I took the boys to the library. There was a woman there with two boys. Her youngest son was hanging around my boys. We had a brief conversation.

At dinner (the same day!), I told my husband that I met a very interesting woman this morning at the library.

After dinner, we went for a bike ride downtown (see here) and who did we run into on the ride back? The woman from the library, Andie. We met her husband and saw her boys again.

Last night, we went for a walk in the rain. We were walking down the path in the downpour and there was a woman walking towards us. I didn’t recognize here, but she said, “Hi Joanna!” It was Andie without her glasses on.

I wonder where we will meet again.

God is so good. It was amazing to see a familiar face.

Side note: I made a joke awhile back with my friend “D” that any new friends I meet will have to have wet hair. I know funny, but I am just into real people that walk in the rain and don’t worry about getting their hair wet.

Haha God. You truly are omniscient.

cancer, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Rooted

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My mom has had her pain and nausea under control for the last two days.

On Friday, she was moved into a private room on the women’s and children’s floor in the new hospital tower. It like a hotel compared to the hell hole she was in before. (Sorry I have racked my brain and I can’t think of another descriptor for her four person room in an incredibly busy ward.)

I am starting to move out of flight and fright status or “game face” as my sister and I call it. I feel my body relaxing. I am feeling my body again. Man I am hungry.

The exceptional nurses on this floor have everything under control. Our amazing angel Dr. Daniels has been checking on mom. Yesterday she visited three times.

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Dr. Daniels talking with mom and dad this morning.

Moms blood clot in her lung is dissolving, her bowels are moving and she even walked down the hall today.

My boys feel loved surrounded by all their cousins, aunts and uncles even though their mama is at the hospital many hours and is a tad bit distracted and teary.

God is good.

But none of this makes sense.

We continue to live in shades of grey, but I continue to reach down into the roots God has established for me in His word and with my family and friends.

” And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Bring on the chemo.

May we all know the fullness of God and just how wide, long, deep and high Christ’s love is.

Boys, Family, Jesus Christ, Parenting

Be Taking Dukey On A Hike

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We are in the final days of “living” in the town where all three of my boys were born. I have been very intentional visiting with certain people and going to special places.

On Sunday, we went for a hike on the acreage behind the first house we lived in.   We went with an old neighbour and her son.  This is the home where JC was born beside the dishwasher.  Here’s the story.

JC insisted on taking his backpack with a snack and a few other things in it.  Does this ever happen to you with your own children?  I said yes and boy did we get a surprise.

We had hiked up to the top of the hill overlooking the lake.  The boys were sitting and chatting when suddenly out popped “Dukey”, JC’s teddy bear.  We don’t let our teddy bears go travelling with us, but I sure smiled when I saw Dukey.

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My mom had given us Dukey when were six months pregnant with JC.  She gave it to us in the house at the bottom of this hill the Christmas before JC was born.

When Dukey popped out of the backpack it was a very special moment thinking about all that has happened in the last seven years since our boys (and Dukey) came into our lives.

Thanks JC for being in tune with other people and God’s Spirit inside of you.  You are one of the most thoughtful and caring people that I know.  You made us all smile today.

Boys, Construction, Family

Be Removing A Closet

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What do we really WANT and NEED?

This question keeps rolling through my mind as I wade through the copious amount of stuff in my parents basement and the torn apart house we hope to occupy in less than four weeks.

You will be happy to know that we are not going on the Hoarders TV show, but we are making steps to remove a closet so that all three of our boys can share a room.

Yes, in the world of resale, probably not the best move.  But in the realm of us having the priority that our boys will be close, share their lives and their worlds with each other, getting rid of a closet is something we need to do.

One decision down… 1,368 to go!

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The view of the closet from the hall.  Look at all that space we will have for the boys literal bed room.  We plan on keeping their clothes, books and some toys in the other bedroom down the hall.  The boys are excited about their “sleeping” room and their “book” room as they are calling them.

Boys, Parenting

Be A BBF

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My kindergartener came home yesterday and insisted that CC put on the same t-shirt as him, then started yelling out “1, 2, 3 BFF unite!”.

 I asked him who he was playing with at lunch today and he responded, “Paige!”  Yes, I guessed that.    

When daddy arrived home two hours later, the boys were still chanting, “1, 2, 3, BFF unite!” 

Sexy Neck worked with the boys to change it to “Best Brothers Forever!” and they were off.

This is our prayer and dream for our boys, that they will be three strands of leather, intertwined, flexible, but never to be broken.  “BBF’s unite!”

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Our middle guy walking by the outdoor hockey rink to preschool with his baby brother. 

(3 years old and 18 months old) 

Family, Goals, Parenting, psychology

Be Aware

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As a strong, determined woman in the 21st Century, I used to “think” that I should be able to have it all!

The feminist movement in the sixties was incredible for women’s ability to vote,  having choice about birth control and other incredible liberating things.  It has taken us to a place where we can be:

  • the sexiest wife
  • Mary Poppinish mother
  • Martha Stewart in the Kitchen
  • CEO of a Fortune 500 company
  • PLUS have a house that looks like tags on Pinterest

Whew, I feel my anxiety rising, how about you? 

My dear sister (and men who know women!) we CANNOT have it all.  If you choose to work, go for it.  If you choose to stay at home, just do it!  If you choose to do both, make it work for YOU!  But something has to give.  We cannot be the BEST at everything.

The Dalai Lama visited Vancouver, BC, Canada in 2010.  He was of the opinion that Western women will save the world.  If you are reading this blog, I bet you are a Western woman or know one!

Let’s stop trying to be the best at everything.  Could we agree to be the best at one thing? RELATIONSHIPS – PARTNERS – ELDERLY – CHILDREN – TEENAGERS – WIDOWS

Here is the epiphany that I had today, whether we stay at home or work, let’s be aware of those around us.  Let’s stop making lunch when one of our children wants to show us a drawing.  Let’s look up from our computer when someone at the office needs a five minute pep talk.  Let’s really see the people around us, that God has placed in our lives.  What a gift they are – even the annoying ones!   It’s all about the relationship friends!

In this age of our time on earth, where we can have it all.  Let’s not try to have it ALL, but let’s try to be enough to those around us!

psychology

Be Teary

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I have shed a few days in the last seven days!

I went to a yoga class where I was the only student. I asked the teacher if it was okay if I went home. She responded, “I am here and let this be a gift to yourself!”. I cried because it was incredible to focus on my health with a personal class.

Today, I found out some great news about a very close friend: she’s moving! I can’t imagine not being happy for her and her family, but I am also teary because I will miss her in my daily life. There are so many things I will miss, but that is a post for another day.

Lastly, I am profoundly, pit of my stomach sad with tears in my eyes. My friend’s five year old daughter is in Kindergarten and two Mondays ago she was shown a video where a raven turned into a scary looking baby. She cried! Did the teacher turn off the video? NO! What is more important than a child’s tears?

This week, I am going to listen to my tears and connect to my inner child. I think children are more emotionally connected and I need to tap into that!