All posts by Be Enough

Boys, cancer, DP Challenge, Parenting, Uncategorized

Be Asking Questions

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There is never a bad question.

We have instilled this concept in our boys. I am not sure how this would work if you have a wee one with the gift of the gab, but for us it has worked. Almost 100% of the time we take time to answer their questions. We try to answer as honestly as we can. Sometimes we simply answer, “I don’t know!”

Friday, December 20th, sitting on Nana and Papa’s couch, we sat as a group. I shared that Nana is going to die. We said we didn’t know when, but that Hospice House is a place where people go to die peacefully.

JC (6 yrs old) wept and curled in our arms. CC (4 yrs old)started asking questions. OC (2 yrs old) stared at us with his wondrous eyes.

Daddy will Nana die?
Does she know if she’s going to die?
Will she get better?
What is cancer anyways?
Why didn’t the 4th chemotherapy work?
How do the little cells do that?
Why can’t the doctors find a cure?
Do they need more money?
Why did they cut off Terry Fox’s leg?
How do you get cancer?
What will happen to Nana’s shoes?
How will we say I love you to Nana when she dies?
Where is heaven?
What is going to happen to Nana’s shoes?

No bad questions.

No good answers.

Sitting in sadness.

cancer, DP Challenge, Family

Be Remembering Mom(New Year Goals)

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This journey through cancer with my mom has been a rich and horrific time. Watching my mom deal with pain on a daily basis, seeing her fortitude to choke back elephant size pills (we both hate taking pills!) and all of us trying to figure out what to do to help when there is really nothing you can do stretched me beyond my limits most days.

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Today, my journey has been to look through old photos to try to remember what my beautiful mom looked like pre-cancer.

The light in my mom’s eyes never faded. They were strong and clear and loving until the last morning when she said, “Hi” to me. Her muscles atrophied and her weight faded, but her determination did not. Every day she set a goal for herself, some days it was just to eat more protein, others it was to put one foot on the floor beside her bed and lastly it was to have that one drink of thirst-quenching water.

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What goals do you have for this New Year?

My goals are simple:

– Live one day at a time.

– Look into the eyes around me.

– Live my life with determination, just like my mom.

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I love you Mama. I miss you dearly and I can’t imagine my life without you. BUT I have learned a lot from you and I take these things into my new year. I love you Mama. I miss you so much.

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cancer, Family, men, Parenting

Be Leaving a Rose from My Rose

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My husband, Sexy Neck, has always been a rock to me. His tower of strength and stability have always grounded me and sometimes annoyed me.

In the last five months since mom’s diagnosis and now her death, Sexy Neck has not only been a rock, but a sweet, sweet rose.

His words have been velvety rose petal smooth to my soul.

He has been sweet to my mom and has always displayed a deep connection to her that goes beyond my understanding.

Sexy Neck has stood by with class as many things unfolded in and around our family.

Today, he saw the rose from hospice sitting in our van. He said, “Why don’t we take the rose and put it on a x-country ski trail for your mom?” This is exactly what dad, our boys and I needed to hear on this first ski without mom.

We carried the rose on the side of the chariot out to Woodland Bell.

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We skied into a sunny meadow, wrote mom’s name in the snow and placed the rose beside a little spruce tree.

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Happy New Year to my sweet rose, Sexy Neck, my beautiful boys, my dad, my family, friends and blog readers.

May you have many roses in your life even when you are in the desert and may you stop to smell the roses this year.

35 The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them,
And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose;
2 It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice,
Even with joy and singing. Isaiah 35:1 & 2

Boys, cancer, Family

Be Sharing Your Story – Jan & Don

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I grew up on Clark Crescent. I think it was the best place in the world to grow up. Walking distance to schools, Moore’s Meadow and the store. Plus, we had the best neighbours.

Here’s our neighbours from three doors down. Mom and dad of three boys! Gotta love that!!

Hi Joanna and Michelle, Mike and all your family. I just wanted to add a bit to your wonderful blog. Some things I remember:

Your Mum -taking a course where she needed to study a child. She asked if she could do this with Ryan. I said sure as long as he was ok. Of course, easy going Ryan assented. Then you Mom said what if I do all three boys? Again. Sure if they are ok. So she did. Because all she did was confidential I never really knew what was asked or answered, but she did tell me they were classic: oldest, middle and youngest. When I see and hear of your fun exploits with your three boys Joanna, I can’t help but go back to my own years with 3boys.

Just one other thing. On your wedding day, when our friend Jean Rapaich was here at our home, doing your hair, I can’t begin to tell you how special it was to me. A GIRL in my home getting ready for her wedding day. Wow.

And your wonderful selfless Mom easily and willingly sharing that with me. Little things mean a lot. I picture Gwen- always with a wonderful smile on her face. And that’s the smile she is bestowing on your family now.

Sending love to all. Jan and Don

Boys, cancer, Family

Be Salt of the Earth Friends

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Often, I have described my friends as being the salt of the earth.

Tonight, these lovely people walked through my parents door. My dad was moved to tears.

He said definitively, “These people are salt of the earth people!”

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Thanks to all my parents ‘salt of the earth’ friends! We love you deeply. Thanks for being here!

Salt.

Time.

Stories.

Love

….and here’s some of my salt:

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Family

Be Sharing Your Story – Pam

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I met Pam in 2000 while paddling on Okanagan Lake. She has been a friend to me and our family ever since. A rock silid, dependable friend. Pam even delivered me breakfast at the hospital last week while on her way to work.

Rock. Solid. Caring. Friend. Pam.

Jo
I headed up to Sovereign on the weekend. Your mom and your family were on my mind. I saw your mom a lot at Sovereign. I always called her “Joanna’s mom” as I never felt like I knew her well enough to call her Gwen. She was either skiing with a big smile on her face by herself(laps of carl wylie – i saw her lots of times going around again)or helping out with your kids at bunnies(again with a big smile). I always thought she was who I wanted to be like when I was her age. Whether she was up skiing at Sovereign, sitting on her paddle board at Kal lake with your family, biking around town, out at Friesen’s for breakfast with you and your cousins, sitting in a fort reading with your kids or chuckling at your Labour Party – she always seemed to be active, adventurous, fun, kind and happy to be surrounded by family.

Your blog posts are heart warming and heart breaking at the same time. It is evident in the people surrounding your mom that she is a truly special person. She truly is blessed to have you all with her on this journey.

I read some of your older posts the other day Jo(I don’t think there has been a time in the last week where you haven’t been in my thoughts). You wrote about hoping you could feel okay with who you are this holiday season. Jo, you are so much more than enough. I wish you could see yourself with another person’s eyes. I watched you that morning I brought you breakfast at the hospital. You were talking to someone, so I stood and waited. It was obvious it was a difficult conversation, but you handled yourself with such grace and maturity. Then when I saw you,I wondered how you could look so beautiful after all you had been through that week. Honestly, you are a beautiful woman with incredible courage and strength. Your mom must be so proud.

Please let me know if I can bring a lunch or dinner in the next few days. It is quiet around here. Please let me know, I am happy to provide more than Rice Krispies.

I am headed up to Sovereign today. I am going to ski 2 laps of Carl Wylie for your mom. Our family will light a candle for her tonight.

Love and big hugs
Pam
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